The High 5 Habit

The High 5 Habit Plot Summary

Introduction

I still remember the morning I discovered the power of a simple high five. Standing in my bathroom, exhausted from a night of little sleep and facing a day packed with deadlines, I caught my reflection in the mirror. Instead of my usual critical inner dialogue about dark circles and messy hair, something unexpected happened. I raised my hand and gave my reflection a high five. It felt ridiculous at first—yet something shifted inside me. That small gesture of self-encouragement created a wave of positive energy that carried me through what would have been an overwhelming day. This moment represents the heart of what Mel Robbins explores in her transformative work. Through compelling personal stories and cutting-edge research, she reveals how our relationship with ourselves fundamentally shapes our entire experience of life. The High Five Habit isn't just about a morning gesture in the mirror—it's about interrupting patterns of self-criticism that have been ingrained since childhood and replacing them with intentional self-encouragement. Whether you're struggling with confidence, battling imposter syndrome, or simply feeling stuck in patterns of negative self-talk, this book offers a surprisingly simple yet powerful approach to changing how you see yourself and, consequently, how you show up in the world.

Chapter 1: The Mirror Moment: Discovering the High Five Habit

It all began with a morning like any other. Mel Robbins stood in her bathroom, brushing her teeth, when she caught her reflection in the mirror and immediately fell into a familiar pattern. "Ugh," she thought, as her mind launched into a rapid-fire critique of everything she disliked about herself—the dark circles under her eyes, her pointy chin, the asymmetry of her body. Within seconds, her thoughts spiraled to her overwhelming to-do list, looming deadlines, and family obligations. Before she'd even put on a bra or had her coffee, she felt completely overwhelmed by life. We've all experienced these moments—standing alone, face-to-face with our reflection, when our inner critic takes center stage. For Robbins, something unusual happened next. In a spontaneous gesture, she lifted her hand toward her tired reflection in a kind of salute. "I see you," was all she wanted to communicate. "I see you and I love you. Come on now, Mel. You've got this." Midway through this gesture, she realized she was giving herself a high five—that universal symbol of celebration, encouragement, and partnership. The effect was immediate and surprising. As her hand touched the mirror, she felt her spirit lift. The simple gesture communicated something she desperately needed to hear—that she could handle whatever challenges the day would bring. Without saying a word, she was cheering herself on, encouraging herself forward. Her chest loosened, her shoulders squared, and despite the initial feeling of corniness, she found herself smiling. Suddenly, she didn't look so tired, didn't feel so alone, and her to-do list didn't seem so daunting. The next morning, when the alarm went off with the same problems and same overwhelm awaiting her, Robbins found herself looking forward to seeing her reflection and giving herself that high five again. By the third morning, she was making her bed more quickly than usual and walking into the bathroom with an enthusiasm that surprised her. "The only way I can describe it," she writes, "is that it felt like I was about to see a friend." This simple discovery led Robbins to reflect on the power of high fives throughout her life—from playing team sports as a child to running the New York City Marathon just two months after the 9/11 attacks. During that grueling 26.2-mile journey, it was the constant encouragement and high fives from spectators that kept her going when her body wanted to quit. Those moments of connection and celebration fueled her belief that she could accomplish something she'd never done before. What Robbins realized is profound: if receiving encouragement and celebration from others feels so good and helps us achieve our goals, why don't we give that same gift to ourselves? The high five habit became her answer—a daily practice that transformed her relationship with herself and opened the door to a new way of living that she now shares with readers who are ready to become their own biggest supporters.

Chapter 2: From Self-Criticism to Self-Celebration: Breaking Old Patterns

"I just always feel like I'm the bad guy," confessed one of Mel's daughters during a family dinner. "It doesn't matter what I say or how I say it. Every time I talk about what's bothering me or express a boundary, I end up feeling like I am in the wrong." Her father tried to console her: "You're not a bad person. Maybe you've done bad things, but you're not a bad person." As the conversation unfolded, each family member revealed their own version of this negative self-narrative—one daughter thinking she was a failure compared to her music school peers, another feeling she was "the biggest one" among her friends, and Mel herself admitting her lifelong pattern of assuming everything was her fault. This family conversation illuminates something universal: the toxic relationship most of us have with ourselves. For the first forty years of her life, Mel's theme song was "I've messed everything up." Her internal dialogue constantly berated her: "I might as well just flush the last 40 years down the toilet because I blew it in college and law school and in the first part of my marriage and was a terrible parent." This relentless self-criticism became the lens through which she viewed her entire life. The turning point came when Mel realized that her relationship with herself was the foundation for everything else. She couldn't build confidence, self-respect, or self-esteem by continuing to focus on what she hated about herself. The journey wasn't quick or easy—it took years of intentional work to break free from patterns of self-criticism that had defined her existence for decades. One of her most powerful insights came when she understood that when you think you've messed something up, you start to hate yourself. When you hate yourself, you inevitably do things you hate. Your thoughts create a downward spiral. But the opposite is equally true: When you love yourself, you inevitably do things you love. When you treat yourself with respect, you do respectable things. And when you celebrate yourself, you do things worth celebrating. Mel shares a particularly painful story from law school, where her anxiety led to self-destructive behaviors. She would wake up hungover, panic about being called on in class, procrastinate studying, and numb her feelings with alcohol—a cycle that repeated daily for three years. She sabotaged incredible opportunities, including an internship with the attorney general and a summer position at a prestigious law firm, simply because her negative thoughts convinced her she couldn't handle them. The most transformative realization came when Mel understood that she wasn't broken—she was blocked. Her constant negative thoughts, past trauma, and upbringing had created patterns that kept her trapped. The first step toward healing was forgiving herself for all the things she did while just trying to survive. The next step was learning to silence, then evict, the bully that lived in her head. This journey from self-criticism to self-celebration represents the core transformation the High Five Habit facilitates. By interrupting patterns of negative self-talk and replacing them with intentional moments of self-encouragement, we begin to rewrite the story of who we are and what we're capable of becoming. The path to confidence isn't found in perfection or achievement—it begins with how we choose to see and speak to ourselves each morning in the mirror.

Chapter 3: Science, Stories, and the Power of Encouragement

When Mel first shared a photo of herself high-fiving her bathroom mirror on social media, something unexpected happened. Within hours, people around the world began tagging her in photos of themselves doing the same. Men, women, children, grandparents—people of all backgrounds were taking a moment to celebrate themselves before starting their day. What was it about this simple gesture that resonated so deeply? The science behind the high five habit reveals why something so simple can be so powerful. Research shows that when you give yourself a high five, it's impossible to think something negative about yourself simultaneously. Try it—you cannot look in the mirror, raise your hand in celebration, and think "I look fat" or "I'm a loser." The positive association you've had with high fives throughout your lifetime automatically shifts your brain into a positive mode and silences the critic in your head. This phenomenon has been extensively studied. In one remarkable experiment, researchers divided school-aged children into three groups and asked them to complete difficult tasks. Each group received different forms of encouragement: the first group was praised for a trait ("You're so smart"), the second group was praised for effort ("You're really dedicated"), and the third group simply received a high five. The results were clear—the high five was hands down the best motivator. Children who received high fives felt the most positive about themselves and their efforts, and they persisted the longest despite making mistakes. The researchers titled their study "High Fives Motivate" because they discovered that giving a high five is a shared celebration. Holding up your hand with a big smile communicates genuine pride and encouragement. Unlike passive verbal praise, a high five means you are celebrating WITH the other person, passing your energy to them. When you receive a high five, you are seen and affirmed as a person—not for your skills or effort, but simply for being YOU. UC Berkeley researchers found similar results when studying NBA players. They recorded how often players gave each other high fives and other signs of encouragement at the beginning of a season. Using this data, they accurately predicted which teams would have the best records by the end of the season. The best teams—those who made it to the championships—were the ones who gave the most high fives. Why? Because high fives build trust. They communicate "I've got your back" and help players shake off bad plays, lift their mood, and maintain confidence. Google's three-year "Project Aristotle" confirmed these findings in workplace settings. The highest-performing teams, both in sports and business, are those where team members feel seen, heard, and trusted. The single biggest factor in whether you enjoy your job isn't salary or vacation days—it's whether you have a manager who cares about you. A high five manager has your back and creates an atmosphere of trust and respect. The neurological impact of the high five habit is equally fascinating. Dr. Lawrence Katz, a neurobiologist from Duke University, discovered that pairing routine activities (like looking in the mirror) with unexpected sensory experiences (like high fiving that mirror) creates what he called "neurobics." These neurobic exercises make your brain snap to attention, creating a kind of "brain fertilizer" that forms new neural connections linking the action with positive emotions. When you high five yourself in the mirror, you're not just performing a gesture—you're rewiring your brain to associate your reflection with celebration, confidence, and possibility. Over time, this practice fundamentally shifts your default opinion of yourself from negative to positive. The more you repeat the behavior, the more your brain associates confidence and celebration with your own reflection. What makes this practice so transformative is how it addresses our fundamental emotional needs. Research shows that we all need to be seen, heard, and loved for the unique individuals we are. When these needs aren't met, we feel unloved, invisible, and unfulfilled. The high five habit fulfills these deep emotional needs by teaching you to see, hear, and celebrate yourself—creating a foundation of self-acceptance that research confirms is the single most important factor in happiness and life satisfaction.

Chapter 4: Turning Jealousy, Guilt, and Fear into Fuel

"Everyone is winning at the game of life, and I'm always left holding the crappiest hand." This thought haunted Mel for years, especially when friends bought beautiful homes or took amazing vacations during a time when she and her husband were struggling financially. Walking into a friend's house that was five times the size of theirs, with little kids at home and barely able to pay their mortgage, Mel felt like she would self-combust with jealousy. On the ride home, she started crying over the fact that "We'd never have a home that nice." This toxic belief—that if someone else has what you want, it means you will never have it—triggered all her insecurities and kept her trapped in a cycle of comparison and despair. What Mel didn't understand then was that jealousy is simply blocked desire. If she could flip that jealousy into inspiration, the block would disappear. One day, Mel had a conversation with her daughter who was scrolling through social media. "When I go on Instagram," her daughter explained, "I just look at other people's lives, occupations, and experiences and want to do the same with my own life, but then I convince myself that will never happen for me regardless of how much I want it." She described seeing a video of a girl who moved to Mexico, found a job, and was living her dream life on the beach. Though she had always dreamed of traveling and exploring, she immediately shut down the possibility for herself: "That's great for her but I could never do something like that." This conversation revealed a profound truth: when we see others doing what we're afraid to do, we feel jealous. But the world didn't say, "You can't have this." YOU did. The key is to flip that limiting belief from "If somebody else has it, I can't" to "Their success is just proof that I can have it too." Mel realized that jealousy is actually a navigation tool, just like curiosity or desire. It tells you the direction to steer your life. Instead of letting jealousy keep you stuck, use it to identify what you truly want. Ask yourself: Who are you jealous of? What is it about these people and what they're doing that calls to you? Which parts are you inspired by? What negative thoughts have kept you from pursuing it? For Mel, this insight transformed how she approached her own jealousy. She noticed she was jealous of friends who had successful podcasts. Rather than letting that jealousy fester, she recognized it as a signal pointing toward something she deeply desired. Instead of thinking "It's too late" or "Someone else already took it," she could see that her jealousy was actually revealing the next step in her career journey. Similarly, Mel shares how she transformed her relationship with guilt—another emotion that can paralyze us from putting ourselves first. She tells the story of a beautiful pool table her father had restored and given to her and her husband as a wedding gift. For years, it dominated their home office space, making it difficult for Mel to run her growing business. Yet she couldn't bring herself to move it, fearing she would disappoint her father. What Mel discovered was that people-pleasing isn't about other people—it's about our own insecurities. Her deepest fear was that if someone was disappointed in her decisions, they would stop loving her. The breakthrough came when she realized: People can be disappointed in you, or upset with the decisions you make, and still love you. When she finally found the courage to call her father and explain that she needed to put the pool table in storage, she was terrified of hurting his feelings. Yes, he was disappointed. Yes, she felt guilty. But this difficult conversation taught her that as scared as you are to disappoint someone you love, it's always worth it to be honest about what you need. These emotional transformations—turning jealousy into inspiration and guilt into self-respect—represent the deeper work of the High Five Habit. By learning to recognize and flip these emotional triggers, we free ourselves from patterns that keep us small and afraid. We begin to see that our dreams are not only possible but are actively trying to find us when we have the courage to pursue them.

Chapter 5: Taking Action: Overcoming Procrastination and Embracing Change

"I want to know how to become an Oscar-winning actor who will create opportunities for Black and Latino men in the inner city who want to be actors," Eduardo told Mel during an Uber ride in Dallas. At 25 years old, with only $700 to his name and a dream of making it in Hollywood, Eduardo was stuck in a pattern familiar to many of us—thinking about his dreams rather than taking action to pursue them. When Mel suggested he move to Los Angeles where he had a friend in the industry, Eduardo's immediate response revealed his blocked mindset: "But I've only got seven hundred bucks to my name." Rather than seeing this as enough to get started, he saw it as a reason he couldn't move forward. When Mel pushed him to set a deadline for his move, he hesitated: "I'm giving it a year or two." His resistance wasn't about money or logistics—it was about fear. This conversation illuminates one of the most common ways we sabotage ourselves: procrastination. We tell ourselves "I'm not ready yet" or "It's not the right time" or "I need to prepare more" while our dreams remain safely in the realm of fantasy rather than reality. The truth is, at one point or another, everyone has felt like the dream version of their life was stolen from them—and for good reason. Mel explains that when your negative thoughts increase, you may get trapped in the spin cycle of catastrophic thinking. Your mind sees all change as a threat, which is why you're scared of taking a chance. The key is to flip the limiting belief from "It's not the right time for my dreams to come true" to "If I put in the work, I can make this happen." The conversation with Eduardo continued with Mel challenging him to recognize that every day he sat in Dallas doing nothing but thinking, he was slowly dying inside. "Your spirit is suffocating," she told him. "All this thinking, and all this waiting, and all this critiquing—they're killing you." The real work of being an actor—or pursuing any dream—isn't about talent or preparation. It's about showing up, facing rejection, and showing up again and again and again. To help Eduardo move past his mental blocks, Mel suggested three powerful strategies that anyone can use to overcome procrastination: First, set a specific deadline. When you set a date, you yank the goal out of your mind and plant it in the physical world. Eduardo's vague timeline of "a year or two" kept him safely in thinking mode rather than action mode. By committing to October 1—just three weeks away—he created urgency and accountability. Second, train your mind to spot opportunities rather than obstacles. Mel suggested Eduardo keep a notebook and write down every coincidence, sign, or piece of evidence that encouraged him to move to California. This practice activates what psychologists call the Zeigarnik effect—creating a mental checklist that your reticular activating system (RAS) holds onto. By writing down evidence supporting your goal, you train your brain to filter for opportunities rather than barriers. Third, visualize the small, annoying steps along the way—not just the end result. Research from UCLA shows that to make visualization effective, you need to mentally rehearse the difficult actions required to reach your dream. Don't just picture winning an Oscar—visualize packing your belongings, sleeping on a friend's couch, going to auditions, and hearing "no" repeatedly. This prepares your nervous system for the reality of pursuing your dream. As Mel's conversation with Eduardo drew to a close, something shifted. His voice cracked with emotion as he committed to his move, and tears began flowing. This emotional release revealed what happens when you stop overthinking and clear away your excuses—you can suddenly see yourself becoming the person you've always wanted to be. Whether Eduardo actually moved to Los Angeles isn't the point of the story. What matters is understanding that every day, we have a choice—to turn toward the pull of our dreams or argue against them. Fighting that desire creates tension in your life, while allowing it to pull you through your fears leads to fulfillment. The greatest risk isn't trying and failing; it's doing nothing and never knowing what might have been possible.

Chapter 6: Belonging, Boundaries, and Becoming Your Own Cheerleader

"I'm so sick of hearing about everybody else's fast metabolism, relaxing vacations, fancy home renovations, and amazing dogs who don't chew the couch..." This internal dialogue represents a struggle many of us face—the desperate need to fit in and be liked by others, often at the expense of our own needs and authentic selves. Mel traces this pattern back to childhood, when the driving force of life becomes fitting in. Remember being that kid in the cafeteria, wishing you could sit with a certain group? If only you were richer, had better clothes, made the team, or looked more like everyone else. This is when most of us make the biggest mistake of our lives: deciding we'd rather fit in than be ourselves. For Mel's daughter, this manifested in the bizarre ritual of high school girls creating a Facebook group to "claim" prom dresses months in advance. When her daughter found the perfect dress but someone had already "claimed" it, Mel was shocked by her daughter's anxiety: "I can't, all the seniors will be mad at me." This wasn't really about the dress—it was about her daughter's fear of breaking social rules and facing disapproval. This pattern follows us into adulthood, where fitting in morphs into keeping up with the Joneses. We continue looking outside ourselves for validation, managing our appearance, facial expressions, and reactions to meet others' expectations. We believe our self-worth is reflected back by how other people perceive us—if they like us or think we're smart, worthy, or good enough, THEN we feel smart, worthy, and good enough. But this creates a fundamental problem: when you can't be yourself, it generates anxiety because you're constantly reading the room for cues on how to act and what to say. This puts you in a perpetual state of being on edge, questioning and rehashing your every move. Women in particular struggle with this kind of anxiety because they're trained to play roles—the good daughter, the team player, the dependable employee. Mel shares a revealing story from her early career as a life coach. At a cocktail party, when someone asked what she did for a living, she froze with embarrassment. "A life coach? What the heck is a life coach?" the person asked. Immediately, Mel's neck got hot and her cheeks flushed as she projected her own insecurities onto the other person. She assumed he thought being a life coach was "the kind of profession your aunt goes into after she gets sober or what your 23-year-old roommate becomes when she can't get a job right out of college." What Mel realized later was that she wasn't being judged—she was judging herself. Whatever negative thoughts we have about ourselves, we project onto others. The man wasn't thinking her career was stupid; he was simply curious. In fact, he ended up becoming her first client because his wife recognized he needed exactly what Mel offered. The turning point comes when we flip the limiting belief from "What will everyone think?" to "My happiness is more important than what anyone else thinks about it." Mel illustrates this through Katherine's story—an ad executive in Ireland who stayed in an unhappy marriage for six years because she feared what her mother, friends, the Catholic Church, and "the country of Ireland" would think if she got divorced. Katherine's breakthrough came when she realized: "I'm completely alone with these stabbing pains at night from the stress, and none of these people whose opinions I fear are trying to tuck me in at night. They are not helping me through any of this, so why even care what they think?" After her divorce, Katherine transformed her entire life—starting a new career, buying a house, and finally putting herself first. The High Five Habit supports this journey by teaching you to celebrate yourself regardless of external validation. When you wake up each morning and raise your hand to your reflection, you're declaring that YOU matter and YOUR happiness counts. This simple practice helps you build the confidence to draw boundaries, honor your needs, and create a life that feels authentic rather than performative. As Mel puts it, "If you like yourself and your life, it might upset your mom, and your kids, and your friends, and your church, and maybe even the country of Ireland. Doing what's right for you will be hard in the beginning. You'll raise eyebrows. You'll be gossiped about. So what. Your life is hard now. People gossip about you now. You are unhappy now. The only thing that you have to lose is the weight of everybody else's opinions and the miserable job or relationship weighing you down."

Chapter 7: Resilience, Setbacks, and the Art of Self-Trust

"Nothing ever works out for me... I knew something was going to happen... So why should I keep doing this?" These thoughts raced through Mel's mind during what should have been the most exciting moment of her career—the launch of her book, The 5 Second Rule. After six months of meticulous planning, disaster struck. Amazon listed her book as "out of stock" for the entire two-week launch period, making it impossible for people to purchase the hardcover. This catastrophe triggered Mel's familiar pattern of negative self-talk: "How stupid could I be? I mess everything up. By the time this gets fixed, no one is going to want to buy this book. Why do I always have to do things the hard way?" Her mind took a nosedive, and the dream of becoming a bestselling author seemed to crumble before her eyes. What happened next reveals the essence of resilience. Instead of giving up, Mel flipped her limiting belief from "Nothing ever works out for me" to "Something amazing is happening that I can't see right now. Keep going." She told herself, "Mel, there is no way you worked this hard and will not be rewarded. You have to trust that there is something amazing happening that you can't see right now." This mindset shift didn't immediately solve the problem, but it gave her the strength to continue her book promotion efforts despite feeling like a failure. When she appeared on Tom Bilyeu's YouTube show, Impact Theory, she was so stressed that she had to excuse herself to the bathroom before filming. Standing in front of the mirror with sweat stains spreading through her bright red shirt, she faced a critical moment of choice: would she let her anxiety derail this opportunity, or would she find the courage to push through? With no high five habit yet in her toolkit, Mel did the next best thing—she looked at herself in the mirror, took a deep breath, and said, "Pull your shit together, Mel." It wasn't as good as a high five would have been, but it was the slap across the face she needed in that moment. During the interview, when Tom called her "the master of motivation," Mel responded with four words that changed her career: "Motivation. Is. Complete. Garbage." She went on to explain that we've all bought into the lie that we need to feel ready or motivated to change, when in fact, the human brain is designed to protect us from doing things that are uncomfortable, scary, or difficult. Her authentic perspective resonated so deeply that the clip went viral, gaining over 20 million views. What Mel couldn't see during those difficult weeks was that something incredible was indeed happening behind the scenes. While Amazon was "out of stock" of the hardcover, people were buying the audiobook version at an unprecedented rate. A month later, she received a report showing that sales were through the roof with thousands of five-star reviews on Audible. The 5 Second Rule became the #1 audiobook of 2017 on all of Audible and the sixth most read book of the year on Amazon. The irony wasn't lost on Mel—had the hardcover been available, she never would have experienced this landslide of audiobook sales. What initially seemed like a catastrophic failure turned out to be the catalyst for an even greater success than she had imagined. And despite the book's global success, it never made it to a traditional bestseller list, proving that sometimes our dreams lead us to destinations we couldn't have anticipated. This story illuminates a crucial truth about resilience: your life will take you to remarkable places if you believe in your abilities and encourage yourself to keep moving forward. Life will test you, but if you maintain a high five attitude and trust that your hard work is leading somewhere, you will create miracles in your life. The key is understanding that everything—even setbacks and failures—is preparing you for what's coming next. When you high five yourself in the mirror each morning, you're training yourself to trust this process. You're reminding yourself that as long as you're still breathing, there is still time. So keep going, because something amazing is waiting for you just around the corner.

Chapter 8: Manifesting Confidence: Connecting the Dots of Your Life

"I'm okay. I'm safe. I'm loved." These simple words became Mel's lifeline during the COVID-19 pandemic when her talk show was suddenly canceled, her speaking engagements disappeared, and her publisher dropped the contract for her book. As anxiety threatened to overwhelm her each morning, she discovered a powerful practice: placing her hands on her heart and repeating this soothing mantra until her nervous system settled. This "high five to the heart" activates what scientists call the vagus nerve—the longest nerve in your body, connecting your brain to every other organ. When activated through touch, deep breathing, or other mindful practices, the vagus nerve facilitates the release of dopamine, putting you in a more relaxed, calm state. This physiological shift is crucial because, as neuroscientist Dr. Judy Willis explains, when you're stressed, your brain flips into survival mode and blocks new positive information from entering. For Mel, this practice became especially meaningful when she realized her morning anxiety was connected to childhood trauma. Having been molested during a sleepover as a child, her adult body still carried that "trauma response" in her nervous system. Forty years later, her first thought upon waking was often "something is wrong" or "someone is mad at me." The high five to the heart became a way to soothe this deeply embedded response and create new patterns of safety and trust. This scientific understanding of how our bodies process stress and trauma leads to one of the book's most profound insights: true confidence comes from telling yourself that you are okay, safe, and loved—and believing it with every fiber of your being. It means knowing that no matter what is happening in the world, or in your family, or at your job, the one person you can trust is YOU. But Mel's exploration of confidence goes even deeper, venturing into what some might consider the realm of the mystical. She shares a remarkable story about a painting that spans over a decade of her life. As a college senior, she visited a restaurant in Vermont and was inexplicably drawn to a large landscape painting on the wall. Though it cost $3,000—far beyond what she could afford—she felt a profound connection to it and silently declared, "Someday I will own this painting." This experience illuminates what happens when we give ourselves permission to want what we value and desire. Rather than shutting down her longing with negative thoughts like "You can't afford this" or "This is a waste of time," Mel allowed herself to believe it was possible. This activated what psychologists call the Zeigarnik effect—when you visualize something important to you, your brain adds it to a mental checklist labeled "This Is Important" and keeps it in your subconscious. Over the years, whenever Vermont or glassblowing was mentioned, her reticular activating system (RAS) would bring the painting back to her conscious mind. She would visualize not just owning it someday, but the small steps she'd take to make it happen—working hard, saving money, hanging it in her future home. This approach to manifestation is backed by neuroscience research showing that visualization is most effective when you picture yourself doing the hard, annoying steps along the way—not just enjoying the end result. Eleven years after first seeing the painting, through a series of remarkable coincidences, Mel discovered that the artist had created two versions of the same scene. The second painting had been sitting in storage all those years, as if waiting for her. When the artist offered to sell it to her for $500—a fraction of its value—Mel felt time collapse. It was as if she was simultaneously standing in the restaurant declaring the painting would be hers and standing in the present moment with it finally in her possession. This story isn't just about acquiring a painting—it's about the power of belief and the mysterious ways our deepest desires find their way to us when we remain open to possibility. As Mel puts it, "Your mind is designed to help you achieve your dreams. Your job is to believe it is possible and encourage yourself to keep walking toward it." The painting story takes on even greater significance years later when Mel finds herself drawn to move to Vermont—the very landscape depicted in her beloved artwork. After initially resisting the idea, a series of synchronistic events (including a message from her deceased father-in-law delivered through a psychic medium) leads her family to purchase a home in southern Vermont. What seemed impossible to imagine becomes her reality, proving that our lives often connect in ways we can't foresee. This final piece of Mel's journey reveals the ultimate truth about confidence and manifestation: your dreams don't disappear. You were born with them, and they are meant for you. The dots of your life are always connecting, leading you where you're meant to go. Your job is to trust the process, high five yourself through the uncertainty, and remain open to the possibility that this moment is preparing you for something amazing you can't yet see.

Summary

The High Five Habit transforms our relationship with ourselves through one simple yet profound daily practice: looking in the mirror each morning and giving ourselves a high five. This gesture isn't merely symbolic—it's neurologically powerful, creating new neural pathways that override years of self-criticism and negative thinking. As Mel Robbins discovered through both personal experience and scientific research, this practice fulfills our fundamental emotional needs to be seen, heard, and celebrated—needs that, when met, form the foundation of genuine confidence and resilience. Throughout these stories and insights, a beautiful truth emerges: \*\*the most powerful forces in life are encouragement, celebration, and love—yet we've withheld them from ourselves for far too long\*\*. Whether facing childhood trauma, professional setbacks, or the daily challenge of simply showing up for our lives, the way we speak to and treat ourselves determines everything that follows. The High Five Habit isn't about toxic positivity or denying real problems; it's about changing YOU so you can face life's challenges from a place of strength rather than self-doubt. By flipping limiting beliefs like "Nothing works out for me" to "Something amazing is happening that I can't see right now," we create the mental flexibility to see opportunities where we once saw only obstacles. The practice extends beyond the morning mirror moment to become a holistic approach to life—transforming jealousy into inspiration, guilt into self-respect, and fear into fuel for action. As we learn to trust ourselves and the process of life, we discover that our dreams are not random wishes but signposts guiding us toward our authentic path. \*\*The high five you give yourself each morning is more than a gesture—it's a promise that you'll show up for yourself, believe in your capabilities, and walk confidently toward the life you were meant to live.\*\*

About Author

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Mel Robbins

Mel Robbins is an Ivy League educated criminal defense attorney and entrepreneur whose quick wit and fresh take on current affairs has helped her become a sought-after commentator, internationally recognized speaker, Contributing Editor to SUCCESS Magazine, best-selling author, relationship expert and Common Sense Activist.Her advice and fiery opinion have been seen by tens of millions of viewers nationwide on shows ranging from Dr. Phil, Anderson Cooper, The Today Show, The Talk, Oprah, CNBC, and FOX Business.Mel’s first book, STOP SAYING YOU’RE FINE – The No B.S. Guide To Getting What You Want – is now available in paperback and is published by Crown. It’s the best-seller that teaches readers how to stop procrastinating by using the latest neuroscience research and ingenious strategies to achieve goals.Mel loves speaking to large audiences and delivers action-inspiring keynote speeches and workshops at large business conventions and leadership conferences worldwide. She also hosts leadership and training programs for companies ranging from Johnson & Johnson, Fidelity, Partners Healthcare, Wells Fargo; to leading law firms, family businesses, and privately held companies across America.Mel is a graduate of Dartmouth College and Boston College Law School. She’s a working mom with three school-aged kids and is married to fellow entrepreneur Christopher Robbins, the co-founder of Stone Hearth Pizza.

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