The Achievement Habit

The Achievement Habit Plot Summary

Introduction

Have you ever found yourself stuck in a cycle of "trying" rather than "doing"? We all face moments when our goals seem just beyond reach, trapped in the limbo between intention and action. This gap—the space between wanting to accomplish something and actually making it happen—is where most dreams and aspirations wither away. The achievement habit isn't about perfection or even success as traditionally defined. It's about developing the mindset and skills to transform intentions into reality. By understanding that we give everything its meaning, learning to reframe our challenges, and embracing a bias toward action, we can bridge the gap between trying and doing. This journey requires honesty with ourselves, willingness to abandon excuses, and the courage to challenge assumptions about who we are and what we're capable of. When we change our language, focus our attention, and redesign our self-image, we create a foundation for meaningful achievement in every area of life.

Chapter 1: Reframe Your Reality: Nothing Is What You Think It Is

The meaning we find in people, objects, and our own circumstances is entirely subjective. These things have no inherent meaning until we assign one to them. Both functional and dysfunctional behaviors result from choices people make based on meanings they create. This realization empowers us to alter our perceptions, enhancing those that help us and revising those that bring us down. Mike, a graduate student at Stanford University, planned to design a musical instrument for Burning Man festival as his project. The festival attracts massive art pieces and structures created by participants. Mike wanted to construct a wearable pipe organ powered by a small fire-powered boiler that would provide steam directed through different pipes to produce music. Though ambitious, Mike appeared highly motivated. However, things didn't go according to plan. His visits became sporadic with many excuses and little progress. When the festival arrived, Mike's presentation was a disaster. The instrument worked badly or not at all, embarrassing everyone involved. Fast-forward three years to another Burning Man festival. Among the attractions was an amazing animated sculpture called Serpent Mother, a 168-foot-long metallic skeletal serpent with forty-one flamethrowers erupting from its vertebrae and a hydraulically operated head. This spectacular creation was universally acknowledged as the most impressive project at the festival. Later that day, the author discovered that Mike was operating the controller for this magnificent creation. Mike had become active in the Flaming Lotus Girls organization, which empowers participants to learn new skills and become active artists. This experience illustrates a powerful truth: Nothing is what you think it is. The author had written Mike off as a slacker based on a single impression, never considering possible greatness in him. We often make snap judgments that limit our understanding of others and ourselves. By recognizing that we assign meaning to everything, we can choose more empowering interpretations that serve us better. To practice this awareness, try an exercise where you look around your room and for each object you notice, say it has no meaning. Then extend this to people and things you value, stating each has no meaning. This helps you realize how arbitrary our assigned meanings can be. Similarly, when experiencing negative events, you can choose to reframe them. Even something as mundane as washing dishes can become enjoyable if you focus on the warm water, the satisfaction of cleaning, and the pleasure of creating order. Once you understand that you can choose what meaning and importance to place on something, you realize that it is you, not external circumstances, who determines the quality of your life. This isn't just positive thinking—it's a fundamental shift in how you approach reality itself.

Chapter 2: Break Free from Excuses: Reasons Are Bullshit

When we don't achieve our goals, we often justify our failures with what seem like valid reasons. We blame traffic for being late to meetings, blame others for our shortcomings, or cite circumstances beyond our control. But beneath these explanations lies a simple truth: reasons are just excuses prettied up. The author describes how he was always late to board meetings at Working Machines, a corporation in Berkeley. After each frantic hour of dangerous driving, he would arrive with an apology about highway congestion. The chairman always graciously assured him that arriving safely was what mattered. But deep down, the author knew traffic wasn't the real issue. He simply hadn't made the meeting a high enough priority in his life. Once he realized this, he decided to give the meetings the attention they deserved. He stopped waiting until the last minute and left early enough to arrive on time regardless of traffic conditions. The positive effects of eliminating this stress were life-changing. This experience transformed his entire attitude toward time. Previously chronically late to most things, he became known for punctuality and now makes it a point to start every class and workshop on time. His life works better without needing to generate reasons for tardiness. What he discovered is that reasons often hide the fact that we're not willing to give something a high enough priority in our lives. To understand how deeply excuses permeate our thinking, try this exercise with a partner: One person gives a statement starting with "The reason I..." and the other responds, "That's a goooood reason." After several exchanges, switch roles. You'll quickly see how flimsy most reasons are when subjected to even mild scrutiny. Even heart-wrenching reasons don't make them more useful. Studies have shown that people are selective when recording what happens to them. We often lie to ourselves about why we behave certain ways. The Japanese professor who claimed he wanted to spend more time with family but was "too busy" at work was actually choosing to stay late at the university and socialize with colleagues. Being "too busy" was simply his excuse. The author suggests a twofold approach: externally use reasons in everyday conversation when needed, but internally question each reason your external self offers. By noticing how reasons are used, you gain insight into your behavior and relationships. This approach works well to change your own actions, though you shouldn't use it to criticize others unless they've asked for your feedback. Make a pact with yourself to avoid using reasons unless absolutely necessary. This position is incredibly empowering. Be confident enough in your actions not to need explanations. Actions speak louder than reasons. Don't give reasons unless you have to!

Chapter 3: Overcome Obstacles: Getting Unstuck by Asking Better Questions

When we feel stuck, unable to solve a problem, it's often because we're asking the wrong question. Getting unstuck requires the ability to reframe problems and look at them from new angles, allowing fresh solutions to emerge. Krishna, a student in one of the author's design courses, was struggling with a broken bed that prevented him from getting a good night's sleep. Week after week, he reported challenges: first he couldn't find the correct wire to fix the frame, then the correct tools, then some small springs. After several weeks of frustration, the author lost patience and told Krishna he would fail if he didn't solve the problem by the following week. Krishna returned with a big smile, announcing his solution: "I bought a new bed." This example perfectly illustrates how we often work on an answer as though it were a question. Krishna's mistake was trying to solve the wrong problem. He started by working on "How can I fix the bed?" when the real question was "How do I get a good night's sleep?" Once he started working on the right problem, the solution became obvious: Get a new bed. This enabled him to walk around the self-imposed obstacle. This approach can be applied to any situation where you feel stuck. For instance, if you're struggling with "How might I find a spouse?" try recognizing this as an answer to a higher-level question. What would finding a spouse do for you? Perhaps provide companionship, improve your social life, or satisfy family expectations. By changing the question to "How might I find companionship?" or "How might I improve my social life?" you've altered your perspective and dramatically expanded possible solutions. The author illustrates this with a diagram showing how moving to higher-level questions opens up more options. Finding a spouse becomes just one of many possible ways to find companionship. You can visualize this as moving up a ladder to more fundamental needs, then generating new solutions at each level. This technique proved powerful in real-world applications. Students from Stanford's "Entrepreneurial Design for Extreme Affordability" course went to Myanmar to work on irrigation but noticed farmers using toxic kerosene lanterns because they lacked electricity. By reframing their focus from irrigation to lighting, they developed affordable solar-powered LED lights, founding a company called d.light that has sold millions of units worldwide. Similarly, another student team went to Nepal to improve hospital incubators but discovered most mothers couldn't reach clinics in time. By reframing from "How do we fix incubators?" to "How do we keep premature babies warm?" they created a sleeping-bag-like warming device that costs 1% of a conventional incubator and has saved over 50,000 infants. To try this yourself, think of a problem you've been losing sleep over. Write it as a simple how-do-I question. Then ask what it would do for you if this problem were solved. Write that answer above your original question, then change that answer into a new question. Consider possible solutions to this new question. If you're open-minded, you've likely just walked around your obstacle.

Chapter 4: Take Action: Doing Is Everything

There exists a profound difference between trying to do something and actually doing it. When you try to do something, it may or may not happen. When you're doing something, no matter how many barriers you hit or how frustrated your original strategy becomes, you maintain the intention to get the job done. Doing requires both intention and attention. The author demonstrates this concept through a classroom exercise where he asks a student volunteer to first try to take an object from his hands, and then to actually take it. When "trying," the student typically pulls tentatively at the object while the author maintains his grip. When instructed to "take" the object, particularly after being told to imagine the author as an annoying younger sibling, the volunteer simply whisks the object away with decisive action. The lesson? When you do, you use power; when you try, you use force. Harold, a friend of the author, exemplifies the power of doing versus trying. During lunch at the Russian Tea Room in New York, the author wanted to get Harold one of the Cossack uniforms the waiters wore. He decided he would do it, not knowing how but committed to making it happen. He sent Harold to get the car, approached a waiter, and made an offer. The waiter took money from the author's wallet and returned with a complete uniform wrapped in newspaper. Years later, the author still recalls the triumph of that moment when he stopped trying and simply did. Another example involves the author and his wife attending a movie. When his wife returned saying tickets were sold out, she had accepted this as a final answer—she was merely trying. The author, determined to see the film, sprang into action: he asked the box office about cancellations and approached people in line about extra tickets, eventually securing two seats. While his wife had a reason for not going, the author saw it as merely an obstacle to walk around. Though ironically, the movie turned out to be terrible, illustrating that being careful what you wish for also matters. To cultivate your own achievement habit, recognize when you're merely trying versus doing. Trying feels tentative, uncertain, and filled with excuses. Doing involves commitment, focus, and a refusal to accept barriers as final. Maxwell Maltz, a cosmetic surgeon who found patients often remained unsatisfied despite successful surgery, developed techniques to help people improve their self-images. His book Psycho-Cybernetics promoted visualization and affirmation as tools for change. While positive thinking helps, the author suggests a more practical approach: stop waiting for the perfect moment and just begin. As Hugh Laurie said, "It's a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you're ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There's almost no such thing as ready. There's only now." The bias toward action embraced at Stanford's d.school recognizes that failure is part of the process. You do, you fail, you learn. With mindfulness about what you've done, failure becomes a teacher. After enough failures, you succeed. Don't be afraid of failure—celebrate it, like circus clowns who take a bow when they drop something they're juggling. In environments that support this attitude, creativity flourishes.

Chapter 5: Communicate with Purpose: Mind Your Language

The way we communicate profoundly affects how others perceive us and how we view ourselves. By becoming more mindful of our language patterns, we can transform our relationships and open pathways to achievement that were previously blocked. One simple but powerful language shift involves replacing "but" with "and" whenever possible. Though seemingly minor, this change fundamentally alters how we process information. Consider the statement: "I want to go to the movies, but I have work to do." Using "but" creates an artificial conflict between two truths that aren't actually opposed. Changing to "I want to go to the movies, and I have work to do" acknowledges both realities without creating unnecessary tension. The word "but" closes conversation space, while "and" opens it up. Similarly, replacing "have to" with "want to" reveals how much choice we actually have in our lives. The author describes an exercise where one person says "I have to finish my work" and their partner responds "You want to finish your work." This works for virtually any situation, showing how much our own desires drive what we perceive as obligations. Even with something as fundamental as breathing—"I have to breathe" becomes "I want to breathe"—the choice element becomes clear. You breathe because you want to stay alive. A graduate student named Ozgur couldn't bring himself to say he wanted to take required math courses for his master's degree. Years later, he invited the author to dinner specifically to acknowledge that he had actually wanted to take those courses, as the benefits outweighed the discomfort. The realization had finally clicked. Other transformative language shifts include replacing "can't" with "won't" (shifting from helplessness to choice), "need" with "want," and "I'm afraid to" with "I'd like to." The author also recommends avoiding "help" (which can imply helplessness) in favor of "assist" (which acknowledges capability), and eliminating "should" which carries unnecessary obligation. When it comes to asking questions, the author advises avoiding "why" questions in interpersonal communications, as they often make others defensive. Instead, use "I" statements that clearly express your position. For example, rather than asking "Why did you choose Jane as your coleader?" say "I felt hurt that you didn't choose me to colead." This approach creates openings for honest dialogue. For truly effective communication, the author offers several key principles: speak for yourself using "I" statements; don't be judgmental; acknowledge others' issues without trying to solve them; really listen without interrupting or preparing your reply; be clear about your point when telling a story; and ensure your communication is received as intended. These practices transform casual exchanges into meaningful connections. The author learned this lesson when a friend went through a divorce. When the friend informed others, everyone responded with stories about crises in their own marriages. Though well-intentioned, this response made the friend feel unheard. The author realized he would have been a better friend by focusing on the person's feelings rather than sharing his own stories. By becoming more mindful of our language patterns, we can create clearer paths to our goals, stronger relationships, and a more authentic experience of life. The words we choose don't just describe our reality—they help create it.

Chapter 6: Cultivate Your Self-Image: Design the Person You Want to Be

What you can achieve in life is deeply connected to your self-image. If you see yourself as a risk-taker and doer, you're more likely to take risks and act decisively. Conversely, if you view yourself as cautious and fearful, your path to achievement becomes much more difficult. Understanding and deliberately reshaping your self-image is crucial to developing your achievement habit. Our self-image begins forming in childhood, heavily influenced by our families. When the author's younger son was five, a doctor asked if he preferred taking an antibiotic as pills or an injection. His reply—"Whichever is cheaper"—revealed how he had already absorbed his parents' attitude toward money. Even at age fifty-five, he maintained that same approach to spending. We often carry our parents' traits with us, even those we consciously reject. As we mature, our self-image evolves through interactions with schoolmates, friends, romantic partners, and professional contacts. During teenage years, peer pressure and group identity strongly influence how we see ourselves. The author recalls being on his own after his mother died when he was twelve and his father suffered from severe manic-depressive disorder. He was guided by people "on the street" who defined the limits of what he could achieve. Looking back, he now recognizes how those external voices shaped his self-perception. College professors face similar challenges, often mimicking their own teachers rather than finding their own voice. After conducting a workshop on "Creative Teaching" in Taiwan, a young assistant professor confided to the author: "I never thought that I could modify how I teach. I did not realize I could consider redesigning the structure of my job." This realization was transformative—he had seen what the author calls a "yellow-eyed cat," recognizing that teaching needs an individual approach beyond simply covering material. To explore your own self-image, try listing five short descriptors of the type of person you think you are. Then ask five friends or family members to each list five things that describe who they think you are. Comparing their twenty-five items with your five can provide valuable insights about the accuracy of your self-perception. Harvard business psychologist Chris Argyris concluded after forty years of studying people that they "consistently act inconsistently, unaware of the contradiction between the way they think they are acting and the way they really act." A powerful exercise for gaining deeper self-awareness involves guided fantasy. By visualizing and describing a house in great detail, then speaking as if you were that house ("I am old and full of disorderly stuff" rather than "It was an old house with many things thrown about"), you can access insights about yourself that might otherwise remain hidden. Since you project your characteristics onto the house and its objects, this indirect approach produces candid insights in a non-threatening way. The author shares poignant lessons about self-image from friends' deaths. When colleague Bill Moggridge was dying, five friends were helping move him from a motel to a station wagon. After lengthy discussion about how to proceed, Bill, who had barely spoken for days, suddenly boomed: "Bernie, you shut up. Izzy, you shut up. Eric, you shut up, Alex, you shut up. Matt, you decide!" Despite his condition, Bill's self-image as a problem-solver and leader remained intact to the end. By understanding that you control your self-image, you gain the power to redesign it when it doesn't serve you. Whether changing physical traits, personality aspects, or core identity elements, your self-concept isn't static. You can decide right now to see yourself differently and then become different. If you've defined yourself as lazy, easily distracted, or selfish, that doesn't have to be permanent. You can choose to become the person you want to be.

Chapter 7: Embrace the Big Picture: See Beyond Limitations

Life is filled with complexity and uncertainty. We face careers of unknown duration, periods of personal crisis, and a world that seems increasingly unpredictable. Having a general sense of your goals is valuable, but equally important is remaining flexible about your path. Staying open to possibility—welcoming new people and opportunities—can lead to unexpected fulfillment. The author's own career illustrates how life rarely follows a planned, rational trajectory. His path to Stanford University was marked by a series of coincidences and unplanned events. After receiving an offer from Columbia University, he reluctantly accepted a free interview trip to California. At Stanford, he was impressed with John Arnold, who had created a Design Division with a special philosophical approach to engineering education. Though the author had already accepted the Columbia position, his thesis advisor encouraged him to take the Stanford offer, sensing it would be better for his career. This experience taught him that life-changing opportunities often arrive unexpectedly. Another pivotal moment came when Stanford's provost called to suggest he provide engineering expertise to John McCarthy, who had just won a grant to found the Stanford Artificial Intelligence Laboratory. This collaboration led to the author becoming a pioneer in the field of robotics and forming a lifelong friendship with McCarthy. Similarly, a reluctantly accepted invitation to organize a summer creativity workshop resulted in a ten-year commitment that transformed his approach to teaching. Looking back, the author realizes he could have easily said no to these opportunities and missed two of the most gratifying developments in his professional life. Life presents countless junctures and opportunities, making it impossible to know in advance which paths to take. The key is maintaining openness to possibility. This philosophy extends to how we view work itself. E.F. Schumacher points out in his essay "Buddhist Economics" that work serves several fundamental human needs: utilizing and developing our faculties, overcoming ego-centeredness by joining with others in common tasks, and bringing forth goods and services for a "becoming existence." From this perspective, organizing work in a way that makes it meaningless or stultifying "would be little short of criminal." The constraints on our career paths are often self-imposed. Society brainwashes people to think they must climb predefined ladders, yet not every promotion or award improves individual fulfillment. The author shares the story of Diane, who spent years as a nurse before being promoted to supervisor and administrator. Despite earning more money and power, she realized she wasn't helping anybody anymore and quit to become a martial arts instructor instead. To gain clarity about your own path, repeatedly ask yourself: "Who am I?" "What do I want?" "What is my purpose?" and especially "What do I really want?" Revisit these questions frequently to ensure you're not being driven by society's expectations rather than your authentic desires. Sometimes our biggest limitations are assumptions we don't even notice. The author suggests making a list of "things that are too obvious or trivial to list"—behaviors and beliefs so ingrained you rarely question them. Examples might include: "I never really listen when my wife talks," "I always support the same political party my parents did," or "My attitude toward money is the same as my father's." Examining these assumptions gives you the power to affirm or change them, transforming yourself from a puppet of circumstance to a truly autonomous being.

Summary

The achievement habit is ultimately about transformation—moving from a state of trying to a state of doing, from talking about your goals to actively pursuing them. Throughout this exploration, we've discovered that nothing has meaning until we assign it meaning, that reasons are often just excuses in disguise, and that the right questions matter more than perfect answers. We've learned that language shapes reality, that our self-image determines what we believe possible, and that staying open to unexpected opportunities can lead to our greatest achievements. As Bernard Roth reminds us, "Life is an adventure, so loosen up, stop trying to figure it out, and just go with the flow." The most powerful tool you possess is the ability to be the cause in the matter of your own life—to take full responsibility for your circumstances and your future, regardless of the valid reasons that might justify inaction. This means developing a bias toward action: prototyping ideas quickly, learning from failures, and consistently showing up for what matters most. Today, choose one area where you've been stuck in "trying" mode and commit to doing instead. Don't wait for perfect conditions or complete certainty—neither will ever arrive. Remember that attention and intention are the twin engines of achievement. Give your full attention to what you intend to accomplish, and you'll discover that the achievement habit isn't something reserved for special people with extraordinary talents—it's available to anyone willing to break free from excuses, overcome obstacles, and take decisive action.

About Author

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Bernard Roth

Bernie Roth is the Rodney H. Adams Professor of Engineering at Stanford University. A longtime veteran of the Stanford design scene, he first came to the Stanford Design Division faculty in 1962.

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