Got Your Attention?

Got Your Attention? Plot Summary

Introduction

In a world where the average human attention span has dwindled to less than that of a goldfish, earning and maintaining someone's attention has become the ultimate challenge. We live in an era of overwhelming information and constant distractions, where people are perpetually bombarded with messages competing for their limited mental bandwidth. The ability to break through this noise and truly connect with others isn't just a nice skill to have—it's essential for success in business, relationships, and life. But here's the good news: capturing attention isn't about being the loudest or most outrageous voice in the room. It's about creating genuine intrigue that resonates with others on a meaningful level. Throughout these pages, you'll discover that true connection happens when you shift your focus from trying to get attention to giving attention first. You'll learn practical techniques for crafting messages that matter, conversations that captivate, and interactions that inspire. Whether you're pitching an idea, building relationships, or simply trying to make a difference, these proven strategies will help you earn the attention you deserve.

Chapter 1: Open with Questions That Capture Immediate Interest

The moment you begin speaking, people's internal clocks start ticking. They're subconsciously wondering: "Will this be a bore, a snore, or a chore?" If you don't capture their interest within the first minute, they're likely to check out mentally even if they remain physically present. The solution? Open with questions that immediately pique curiosity and establish relevance. Kathleen Callendar, founder of PharmaJet, faced this exact challenge when preparing to pitch to investors at the Paley Center in New York City. She had only ten minutes to explain her team credentials, clinical trials, and financial projections. In reality, she didn't even have that long—with sixteen other pitches scheduled, she needed to break through the afternoon doldrums in just sixty seconds. Rather than beginning with a technical explanation of her "platform for a medical delivery device for subcutaneous inoculations" (which would have lost her audience instantly), she opened with three powerful questions: "Did you know there are 1.8 billion vaccinations given every year? Did you know up to half of those vaccinations are given with reused needles? Did you know we are spreading and perpetuating the very diseases we're trying to prevent?" The room was immediately captivated. She continued: "Imagine if there was a painless, one-use needle for a fraction of the current cost. You don't have to imagine it, we've created it. It's called PharmaJet..." and she was off and running with an engaged audience. This approach not only helped Kathleen win funding but also led to her being named one of BusinessWeek's most promising social entrepreneurs. This "Did You Know?" technique works effectively across all communication channels. Sean Keener and his BootsnAll team used it in a sixty-second video on their website, helping their new product Indie become an instant success. Their introduction asked: "Did you know you used to need a travel agent to book a multi-city trip with five stops? Did you know it used to take up to forty-eight hours to book a five-stop trip?" This immediately established a problem their audience could relate to before presenting their solution. To craft your own attention-grabbing introduction, follow these three steps: First, open with three startling, relevant "Did You Know?" questions that highlight the scope of a problem, the urgency of an issue, or an unmet need. Use specific, verifiable statistics from credible sources. Second, use the word "imagine" linked with three desirable attributes of your proposed solution. Finally, transition with "You don't have to imagine it; we've created it" and provide evidence that your solution works. Remember, this entire opening should take no more than sixty seconds. While others are still telling people what they're going to tell them, you'll have already earned their attention and respect—and they'll be eager to hear more.

Chapter 2: Show Rather Than Tell to Make Ideas Tangible

When communicating important ideas, abstract explanations often fall flat. People struggle to visualize concepts without concrete examples. The secret is to show rather than tell—to turn your ideas into images that tell their story and make your message immediately tangible. Consider the backstory of the iconic Jaws movie poster. Initially, Bantam Books president Oscar Dystel rejected the original cover design featuring only the word "Jaws" in white text on a black background. He feared readers would think it was about a dentist. His instruction to the design team was simple but powerful: "I want to see that fish." The resulting image—a woman swimming with a massive shark lurking beneath her—became so compelling that the film studio asked to use it for their movie poster. That visual storytelling helped Jaws gross more than $470 million and become one of the most successful movies of all time. Entrepreneur Cari Carter understood this principle when pitching her product at a competition called "The Dolphin Tank." She had created a hook called Cargo that could hang a purse in a car. Instead of just describing her product, she brought a full-size car seat to the front of the room, set it down, and placed a purse on it. Then she stood up, faced the group, wrapped her fingers around an imaginary steering wheel, and started "driving" while saying: "Have you ever been driving along and you had to STOP all of a sudden? Your purse falls off the passenger seat, and your cell phone falls out. You're scrabbling around trying to retrieve it and stay on the road, all at the same time?" Her demonstration was so effective that before she could even finish explaining her product, a man in the audience stood up and said, "I'll take two. One for my wife and one for my daughter." In just sixty seconds, Cari had transformed skepticism into enthusiasm by showing the problem rather than merely telling about it. To apply this technique effectively in your own communications, first consider what physical props you could use to help people see what you're saying. Second, act out a problem so people want your solution—demonstrate your product so they witness its value firsthand. Third, ask "Have you ever...?" questions while acting out a relatable situation. This approach gets "eyebrows up"—a physical sign of engagement and interest. The power of showing extends to people as well. An IT executive who filled his presentation slides with words, metrics, and graphs was advised to include photos of team members who had contributed to their stellar year. When he did this at the annual meeting, "people were cheering as they saw their co-workers on the screen, and everyone was high-fiving one another as they left the room." As film director Irvin Kershner said, "There's nothing more interesting than the landscape of the human face." When you show rather than tell, you create a visual connection that makes your message unforgettable.

Chapter 3: Keep It Brief and Time-Efficient

In today's culture of chronic impatience, brevity isn't just appreciated—it's essential. The unspoken elephant in the room during every business interaction is the underlying concern: "How long will this take?" People's internal clocks are always ticking, and if they don't know how long someone wants their attention, they don't pay attention at all. They're thinking, "Don't you realize you're interrupting me? Hurry it up. I've got things to do." This reality hit home for an entrepreneur heading to England to pitch his app to the London Olympics' chief technology officer (CTO). When asked how much time he had for his presentation, he replied, "One hour." The advice he received was invaluable: "Make the first words out of your mouth, 'I know we have an hour scheduled, and I also know you've got 212 days left to prepare for the games. I can only imagine how much you have on your plate. I've distilled my pitch into ten minutes. If you'd like to continue the conversation after that, I welcome it.'" While this approach didn't guarantee he'd get the business (the CTO declined due to insufficient ramp-up time), it did earn him the executive's respect and goodwill, keeping the door open for future opportunities. Taking less time than anticipated is a powerful way to demonstrate respect for others' time constraints. A company executive recognized this principle when he hired help for one of his project engineers, Rick, who was notorious for running meetings that "take three times longer than they need to." Rick had no structured approach—he just kept talking until he ran out of things to say, never considering whether what he was saying was valuable or relevant. As an engineer, he responded well to metrics, so they applied numerical limits to his communications. They discussed how Twitter is exactly 140 characters (not 141), Snapchats are eight seconds, TED talks are eighteen minutes, and Seth Godin's blog posts are typically under two hundred words. By establishing similar boundaries for emails and meetings, Rick could significantly improve his communication efficiency. As Guy Kawasaki recommends, effective emails should provide just enough information to answer five questions: Who are you? What do you want? Why are you asking me? Why should I do what you're asking? What is the next step? During a particularly productive discussion about conciseness, they discovered an apt metaphor: the ThunderShirt. This product works by swaddling anxious dogs in a tight garment that makes them feel secure, just as babies feel calmer when swaddled in a blanket. Similarly, communication needs "swaddling"—tight boundaries that force discipline and focus. By putting a "ThunderShirt" on meetings (limiting report-outs to three minutes per person) and emails (using the five-sentence email format), Rick could transform rambling communications into focused, productive exchanges. Remember Horn's Law: "Communications expand to the time allowed for them." By setting and respecting time boundaries, you build trust with your audience. No one will ever be angry at you for taking less time than expected. If they want more detail, they'll ask for it. From now on, remember that shorter is better.

Chapter 4: Create Interactive Conversations Not Monologues

People today crave interaction, not passive information dumps. Those who grew up with the Internet are accustomed to controlling and customizing their experiences—they post what they want when they want on social media, create personal music stations, and even vote to determine the fate of TV contestants. Then they sit in meetings where they have no control and no opportunity to contribute. Is it any wonder they tune out? Consider the 2014 Academy Awards. Host Ellen DeGeneres transformed what could have been a three-hour marathon of thank-you speeches into a delightfully interactive evening. She ordered pizza and had it delivered to the theater, handed out paper plates to movie stars like Meryl Streep and George Clooney, asked people in the audience for cash to pay for it, and took a selfie with celebrities that was retweeted millions of times. Instead of running the show, Ellen gave the audience a chance to be the show. The result? Oscar viewership was the best since 2000. This approach applies equally well to business settings. Mike White, general manager of the Ka'anapali Beach Hotel in Hawaii, understood this when organizing monthly all-hands meetings. Rather than running every meeting himself (the default approach for most bosses), he rotated leadership among department heads. One month the marketing director was in charge, the next month the food and beverage manager, and so on. Hosts had complete autonomy, which sparked creativity and friendly competition to see who could facilitate the most engaging meeting. This approach not only kept employees interested but also developed their speaking and leadership skills. The benefits of interactive environments extend beyond engagement. An August 2014 CBS Sunday Morning feature interviewed Robert Levering, cocreator of Fortune's 100 Best Places to Work, about the connection between worker treatment and the bottom line. The answer was an emphatic yes, with a Gallup poll finding that "only three out of ten employees are actively engaged" and disengaged workers costing US companies $550 billion annually. So how can you make your communications more interactive? Harvard Business Review suggests implementing a "Take 5" at the beginning of meetings and conference calls—dedicating five minutes for everyone to take turns talking about what's happening in their lives. This gets people in the mood to actually listen to each other. Another approach is to follow Miki Agrawal's example when she transformed her book-signing into "Inside the Author's Studio," where audience members became interviewers rather than passive spectators. For networking events, consider Martin Edelston's approach. The founder of Boardroom Reports would gather guests at a dinner table and, instead of allowing small talk, propose that each person report the most interesting trend in their industry—in two minutes. This created two of the most engaging hours possible, turning what could have been superficial networking into meaningful connection. To create your own interactive environments, start meetings with brief introductions where people share something they're looking forward to and a project they're excited about. For meals, designate them as "sit by someone new" opportunities with relevant discussion questions at each seat. These simple techniques transform passive audiences into active participants who feel valued and engaged.

Chapter 5: Use Real-Life Examples to Build Connections

People don't connect with abstract ideas or statistics; they connect with stories about real people. This psychological phenomenon, called the Empathy Telescope, explains why we're more moved by one person's struggle than by the suffering of millions. We can put ourselves in the shoes of an individual; we cannot comprehend mass numbers. This principle was illustrated in a Washington Post article about a dog named Hokget who was left behind on a burning oil tanker 800 miles off the Hawaiian coast. After the captain's emotional press conference about his abandoned pet went viral, donations poured in from around the world. The US Navy changed its exercise area to search 50,000 square miles of ocean, and the Coast Guard launched a quarter-million-dollar rescue mission. Against all odds, after 25 days adrift, Hokget was found alive and brought safely to Hawaii. The article's author, Shankar Vedantum, posed a profound question: Why did people mobilize such extensive resources to save one dog when thousands of people in their own communities need food, water, and shelter? The answer lies in our ability to empathize with one specific situation rather than abstract problems. Tom Tuohy, who runs Dreams for Kids, understands this principle perfectly. When seeking funding for his nonprofit at philanthropic showcases, he doesn't bore executives with PowerPoint slides about allocation of funds. Instead, he tells the story of JJ, a seventeen-year-old who became quadriplegic after a hockey accident. Tom describes taking JJ to Mexico for spring break and his experience swimming with dolphins, culminating in a moving moment when a female dolphin swam to JJ, stood on her tail, and gave him a kiss. Only in the last thirty seconds of his presentation does Tom mention that Dreams for Kids has helped five thousand children like JJ, and that for an investment of $100 per child, donors can help other kids get off the sidelines and into the games of life. At the end of a long day of presentations, whose message do funders remember? Who do they approach and choose to support? The key to creating this type of connection is to put people "in the scene" so they feel like they're there with you. Instead of explaining a concept, re-enact a real-life situation where someone overcame a relevant challenge. Use these five elements (forming the acronym SCENE) to make your examples come alive: Sensory detail: Describe the time, place, and location with vivid sensory details so listeners can see it in their mind's eye. Conflict: Share what was wrong and what challenge your "lead character" overcame. Experience it: Don't just tell your example; re-experience it mentally so it feels like it's happening now. Narrative: Include back-and-forth dialogue ("He said... She said...") to make the conversation feel immediate. Epiphany: End with the lesson learned or the moment where everything comes together. When using real-life examples, you're not just telling stories—you're creating empathy and connection. As astronomer Neil deGrasse Tyson suggested, "Maybe part of our formal education should be training in empathy. Imagine how different the world would be if there were 'reading, writing, arithmetic, empathy.'" By illustrating your ideas with concrete examples of real people who've experienced them, you build bridges of understanding that abstract concepts alone cannot achieve.

Chapter 6: Listen First to Earn Trust and Respect

In our distracted world, giving someone your undivided attention has become remarkably rare—and incredibly valuable. When asked to name someone who really listens to them, most people can only identify one or two individuals out of everyone they know. Yet listening completely is the heart of connection and the core of charisma. The transformative power of genuine listening was demonstrated when Andrew, a nonprofit founder in his early twenties, scheduled a fifteen-minute meeting with Roberta McLeod, the director of Howard University. His goal was to ask if they could use the campus center for a Holiday for Hope Program. Three minutes into the meeting, Andrew realized Mrs. McLeod was just being polite while waiting to turn him down. He imagined her thinking, "You want the center for free? Do you know we have a waiting list of groups who would love to have this center for free?" Instead of continuing his pitch, Andrew noticed the walls of her office were covered with pictures of her with students who had become successful business leaders and educators. He changed his approach and simply asked, "Why do you do this?" McLeod began sharing her challenging early years and how education had transformed her life. She spoke about the satisfaction of helping deserving young people get the support they needed. Andrew gave her his genuine attention. When she finished, he said simply, "That's our goal, too." She looked at him, burst out laughing, and said, "Okay, Andrew, you can have the center." This wasn't a manipulation tactic—Andrew simply realized he was one of hundreds wanting something from her. When he stopped pitching and started listening, they connected. The result? Howard University went on to co-host four Holiday for Hope programs, with Roberta McLeod smiling at what they created together each year. To become a better listener, practice the LISTEN technique: L = Look, Lift, and Lean: Put down your smartphone and turn away from your computer. Look at the person, lift your eyebrows to animate your face, and lean forward to show interest. I = Ignore Everything Else: Tell yourself, "This person is my number-one priority right now. Everything else can wait." S = Suspend Judgment: Avoid labeling people based on past experiences. Give them a chance to be heard this time. T = Take Notes: Bring a quality notebook and write down key points when people emphasize their priorities. E = Empathize: When finding it hard to pay attention, ask yourself, "How would I feel if this were happening to me?" N = No Buts About It: The word "but" cancels out whatever was said before it. Replace it with "and" to acknowledge rather than argue. The impact of this approach was illustrated by a workshop participant who transformed his relationship with his mother in a nursing home. He had dreaded visiting because "all she ever did was complain." After asking himself, "How would I feel if I were in bed eighteen hours a day, seven days a week? How would I feel if I lived six feet away from someone I didn't like?" his impatience transformed into empathy. He even became proactive, bringing photo albums that sparked joyful conversations about shared memories. As psychiatrist Karl Menninger observed, "Listening is a magnetic, creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand." By giving others your intrigued attention first, you create the foundation for authentic connection—and they become naturally motivated to give you their attention in return.

Summary

Throughout these pages, we've explored how creating genuine intrigue and connection requires a fundamental shift in approach. Rather than trying to grab attention through volume or flashiness, true connection happens when we focus first on giving quality attention to others. As the book eloquently states, "We can make more connections in two months by becoming intrigued in other people, than we can in two years by trying to get people intrigued in us." This shift from self-focus to other-focus transforms our interactions from transactional exchanges into meaningful connections. The journey to becoming more intriguing begins with a single step: choose one technique from this book and apply it today. Perhaps open your next presentation with curiosity-building questions, transform a lengthy email into a concise five-sentence message, or truly listen to a colleague without planning your response while they're speaking. Remember that your success and satisfaction in life are directly proportionate to the quality of connections you make. By implementing these strategies consistently, you'll not only earn the attention you deserve but also create the kind of authentic relationships that make life richer and more rewarding for everyone involved.

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Sam Horn

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