Rejection Proof

Rejection Proof Plot Summary

Introduction

In the bustling world where success and achievement are celebrated, fear of rejection remains one of humanity's most powerful and crippling anxieties. For Jia Jiang, this fear was more than an occasional obstacle; it was a constant companion that kept him from pursuing his entrepreneurial dreams for over a decade. After quitting his six-figure corporate job to finally chase his long-held ambition of becoming the next Bill Gates, Jia faced a devastating rejection from an investor that threatened to derail everything. Instead of retreating, he made an extraordinary decision—to deliberately seek out rejection for 100 consecutive days. What began as a personal experiment to build rejection resistance transformed into a profound journey of self-discovery that captured the attention of millions worldwide. Through deliberately absurd requests—from asking a stranger for $100 to requesting Olympic ring-shaped donuts at Krispy Kreme—Jia uncovered the surprising science behind rejection, revealing it as a human interaction rather than an absolute truth. His story illuminates how we can reframe rejection from a source of pain into an opportunity for growth, and how small shifts in approaching life's inevitable "no's" can lead to remarkable personal freedom and unprecedented professional courage. By deliberately facing his fears head-on, Jia discovered that the path to a life without regrets requires not the absence of rejection, but a new relationship with it.

Chapter 1: A Life Dictated by Fear

Born and raised in Beijing, China, Jia Jiang grew up in an educational system that emphasized becoming a model worker and contributing to national growth. But young Jia harbored different dreams. While his peers played sports or video games, he devoured biographies of innovators like Thomas Edison and Konosuke Matsushita, searching for clues about becoming a great inventor. When fourteen-year-old Jia learned about Bill Gates' first visit to Beijing, he became obsessed with the Microsoft founder's story. He tore down sports memorabilia from his bedroom walls and made becoming the next Bill Gates his life mission, even writing a letter to his family promising he would buy Microsoft by age twenty-five. At sixteen, Jia seized an opportunity to become an exchange student in the United States, moving toward his destiny of becoming an American entrepreneur. His transition proved difficult—language barriers, cultural differences, and an unfortunate placement with a criminal host family who stole his money within days of his arrival. Despite these setbacks, Jia's entrepreneurial dreams never wavered. He believed his fate was sealed: he would become an entrepreneur in America, and nothing could stop him. While in college, Jia had his first real chance to launch his entrepreneurial dream when he conceptualized a shoe-skate hybrid, drawing detailed blueprints for a patent application. Excited about his innovation, he sent the drawings to his uncle—a father figure whose approval he deeply valued. Instead of encouragement, Jia received a discouraging response that led him to abandon the idea. Ironically, two years later, another inventor patented the same concept and founded Heelys, which eventually reached a nearly $1 billion valuation after its IPO. This missed opportunity would haunt Jia for years to come. Despite graduating with strong credentials and eventually earning an MBA from Duke University, Jia repeatedly delayed his entrepreneurial ambitions, taking the safer route of corporate employment. By age thirty, he had a secure six-figure job at a Fortune 500 company, a beautiful house, and a supportive wife who was expecting their first child. To outside observers, he embodied the American dream. Yet internally, he felt miserable, knowing he had sold out his true passion. The clock of life was ticking, melting away the snowfield of his youthful dreams and ambitions. On July 4, 2012, while watching fireworks with his pregnant wife, Jia realized he was at a crossroads. If he hadn't taken the entrepreneurial leap as a college student or as a single twenty-something, how could he possibly do it now as a soon-to-be father? Sensing his profound unhappiness, his wife made an extraordinary offer: quit the job, take six months to build a company from scratch, and if it didn't work out, he could return to the corporate ladder. With this unprecedented support, Jia took the plunge into entrepreneurship, walking away from his safety net to finally pursue the dream that had defined his identity since childhood.

Chapter 2: The 100 Days Challenge Begins

Four months into his entrepreneurial journey, Jia's fledgling startup received interest from an investor—a potential lifeline as his savings dwindled. The anticipation was excruciating; this moment felt even more consequential than waiting for college acceptance letters or job offers. When the rejection email finally arrived, Jia was devastated. The secure identity he had envisioned for himself—a successful entrepreneur fulfilling his childhood dream—suddenly seemed unreachable. Self-doubt crept in: "Who do you think you are? Welcome to reality, my friend! Start-up success is for special geniuses like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. You are just like everybody else—a wannabe." Faced with mounting insecurity, Jia considered abandoning his dream with two months remaining in his six-month trial period. His wife, however, refused to let him quit early: "I gave you six months, I didn't give you four," she insisted. "Keep going and leave no regret!" Recognizing that his fear of rejection was the true obstacle, Jia embarked on an unusual path to overcome it. During his research, he discovered "Rejection Therapy"—a game developed by Canadian entrepreneur Jason Comely where participants deliberately seek rejection to desensitize themselves to its pain. Inspired by this concept, Jia made an over-the-top commitment: he would pursue rejection for 100 consecutive days, video-record the entire experience, and blog about it on a domain he named FearBuster.com. Unlike Comely's pre-loaded rejection tasks, Jia wanted his attempts to be creative, even outlandish, and uniquely his own. He would turn confronting rejection into a personal laboratory for transformation. Jia's first rejection attempt involved asking a security guard to borrow $100. The experience was terrifying—his heart pounded as if he'd consumed five cups of coffee, and when the guard predictably declined, Jia fled the scene. Watching the video later, he noticed that after saying "no," the guard had actually asked "why?"—offering an opportunity to explain himself that Jia had missed in his panic to escape. His fear had transformed him into a mumbling, retreating figure, unable to sustain even basic conversation. For his second attempt, Jia requested a "burger refill" at a fast-food restaurant. This time, he maintained more composure and even injected humor into the interaction. When rejected, he continued the conversation, asking why drinks could be refilled but not burgers. The cashier chuckled and engaged with him. Two days into his journey, Jia had already learned that how he asked a question—and how he followed through afterward—significantly impacted not just the outcome but his entire experience of rejection. On day three, everything changed. Jia asked a Krispy Kreme employee to make him five donuts shaped like the Olympic rings. Instead of the expected rejection, the employee, Jackie Braun, enthusiastically took on the challenge, disappearing into the kitchen and returning with perfectly crafted Olympic ring donuts—then refused payment. This unexpected acceptance transformed Jia's entire perspective on rejection and possibility. If Olympic donuts could materialize simply by asking, what else might be possible in life with a little courage?

Chapter 3: Learning the Dynamics of Rejection

As Jia's rejection journey gained momentum, he found himself digging deeper into the psychology and mechanisms of rejection itself. His research revealed surprising insights about why rejection feels so devastating. When humans experience physical pain, our brains release natural painkillers called opioids. Studies have shown that the brain releases these same opioids after social rejection—even when participants know the rejection isn't real. This biological response explains why rejection feels like a literal "slap in the face," and why "don't take it personally" is useless advice. Our brains process rejection as physical pain regardless of context. This fear of rejection has evolutionary roots. In prehistoric times, being rejected or ostracized by one's social group meant facing predators alone—effectively a death sentence. While this survival mechanism served our ancestors well, it has become largely obsolete in modern society. Yet this primordial fear continues to prevent people from taking risks, pursuing dreams, or even asking simple questions that could change their lives. Jia's growing awareness of these dynamics gave him context for his own struggles, but more importantly, it provided him with the knowledge to develop countermeasures. During one rejection attempt where he asked dog groomers at PetSmart to cut his hair, Jia discovered the power of humor. As he joked about being treated like a "Tibetan mastiff" or a "chow chow," the groomers erupted in laughter. To his surprise, this rejection attempt felt completely different—there was no fear, no pain, no fight-or-flight response. Research backs up Jia's discovery: laughter has been scientifically proven to reduce pain. Evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar found that participants' pain thresholds significantly increased when they watched comedies that made them laugh, while "feel-good" videos without humor had no effect. Laughter triggers endorphins, another type of natural painkiller that not only fights pain but creates pleasure. By approaching rejection with humor, Jia was inadvertently deploying a powerful biological defense against rejection's sting. As his journey continued, Jia began viewing rejection differently. Rather than an intimidating monster, he saw it as more like the Wizard of Oz—terrifying from a distance but often harmless when examined up close. He realized that rejection is fundamentally a human interaction with at least two parties involved in every decision. When we forget this and see those who say yes or no to us as faceless machines, every rejection feels like an indictment and every acceptance like validation—but that's simply not the case. Through increasingly bold rejection attempts, Jia uncovered three fundamental truths about rejection. First, rejection is human—it often reveals more about the rejector than the rejectee. Second, rejection is an opinion—heavily influenced by the rejector's mood, needs, background, and countless other factors beyond our control. Third, rejection has a number—if you ask enough people, someone will eventually say yes. Even J.K. Rowling's first Harry Potter manuscript was rejected by twelve publishers before finding acceptance. Understanding these principles gave Jia remarkable clarity. Instead of seeing rejection as an absolute judgment of his worth or his ideas, he began to recognize it as just one person's perspective at one moment in time. This shift in thinking transformed rejection from a terrifying Goliath into something much more manageable—and sometimes even helpful.

Chapter 4: Turning 'No' into an Opportunity

As Jia reached the halfway point of his 100-day journey, his fear of rejection was transforming into curiosity. This shift opened the door for deeper experimentation, particularly around what happens after receiving a "no." Previously, Jia's instinct had been to escape rejection as quickly as possible—like ripping off a bandage in one motion rather than peeling it slowly. Now, he wanted to discover what might happen if he stayed engaged after a rejection. For one attempt, Jia bought a rosebush and asked permission to plant it in a stranger's yard. When the white-haired homeowner declined, instead of retreating, Jia asked a simple question: "Why?" The man explained he didn't like flowers because his dog would dig them up, then suggested Jia try his neighbor Lauren across the street who "loves flowers." Following this lead, Jia approached Lauren, who happily accepted the rosebush for her garden. This experience revealed the power of asking "why" after a rejection. By sustaining the conversation, Jia learned the man's rejection wasn't personal—the request simply didn't fit his situation. More importantly, he gained valuable information that led to success. Asking "why" clears up misunderstandings about motivations and often reveals that rejections aren't based on the merit of the request or the person making it, but on circumstances that might be easily addressable. Another technique Jia discovered was what he calls "retreat, don't run." When McDonald's refused his request for breakfast items in the afternoon, instead of giving up, he adjusted his request: "Do you have something like a McGriddles?" This retreat to a lesser request resulted in a partial yes—a plain McGriddles with cheese. Jia realized this approach was similar to military strategy, where troops retreat to regroup rather than routing in disarray. By maintaining engagement and adjusting his requests, he found there was often much more room to maneuver around a "no" than he'd realized. Jia also learned the value of collaboration over contention. When a documentary crew filming Jia's rejection journey had one crew member ask a music studio employee if he could perform some music, the employee declined. When the crew member began arguing about rules and responsibilities, the conversation devolved into conflict. Jia intervened with a different approach: "We know it's an unusual request and would be perfectly fine if you say no. But we would really appreciate it if you say yes." This collaborative tone—acknowledging the employee's authority while gently reframing the request—led to an immediate reversal and a yes. Perhaps most importantly, Jia discovered the value of "switching up" rather than giving up. When repeatedly rejected in one setting or by one person, he found that changing the environment or approaching someone different often yielded better results. He cites basketball star Stephon Marbury as a prime example. After a controversial NBA career where he was labeled "toxic" and eventually forced out of the league, Marbury took his talents to China. There, his brassy manner was seen as leadership rather than a liability, and he led the Beijing Ducks to multiple championships, becoming a beloved local hero and receiving a bronze statue outside the team's stadium. These principles—asking why, retreating rather than running, collaborating instead of contending, and switching up instead of giving up—gave Jia practical tools for navigating rejection. Rather than viewing rejection as a final verdict, he learned to see it as the beginning of a conversation, an opportunity for adjustment, and sometimes even a redirection toward greater success.

Chapter 5: From Donuts to Celebrity

Jia's journey took an unexpected turn when his Krispy Kreme video went viral. Posted to Reddit with the title "Man tried making strange requests in order to get rejected; awesome doughnut shop manager steps up to the challenge," the video generated over 15,000 upvotes and stayed on Reddit's front page for two days. The comments section overflowed with praise for Jackie, the donut shop manager, whose kindness had turned a bizarre request into a heartwarming human moment. Within days, the story was picked up worldwide. Yahoo! News featured the video on its front page, followed by Gawker, MSN.com, the Huffington Post, the UK's Daily Mail, and the Times of India. Krispy Kreme received publicity marketers only dream about, publicly honoring Jackie with a tweet: "Yes, well done Jackie! #heartjackie." In what may have been more than coincidence, Krispy Kreme's stock price leapt from $7.23 to $9.32 in the week following the video's viral spread—a 29 percent jump potentially worth hundreds of millions of dollars. Suddenly, Jia was inundated with interview requests from media outlets like MSNBC, the Steve Harvey Show, and Fox News. Bloomberg Businessweek flew a reporter to Austin for an interview they titled "The No Man," making Jia feel like a superhero. Reality TV producers pitched ideas about turning his story into a show where he would help others overcome their fears as the "Rejection Whisperer." A former movie executive approached him with a script loosely based on his story, envisioning Jia as a depressed single man finding himself—and true love—through 100 days of rejection, despite Jia being happily married. The attention extended beyond media. Strangers recognized Jia on the street, asking for pictures with him. The nationally syndicated Jeff Probst Show flew Jia to Hollywood, along with Jackie from Krispy Kreme and Jason Comely, the inventor of the Rejection Therapy game. During the show, Jia made another rejection attempt—asking Probst to sing "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" to his son. Not only did Probst agree, he got the entire audience to join in. Perhaps most significantly, Jia's personal hero, Zappos CEO Tony Hsieh, invited him to Las Vegas to speak at his Downtown Project. After Jia's talk received a standing ovation, Hsieh offered him a job as a professional speaker who would travel the country giving inspirational talks at conferences and corporations. The offer was tempting—Jia had always admired Hsieh's entrepreneurial journey—but it would mean abandoning his own startup and moving to Las Vegas. On the flight home, Jia reflected on the extraordinary turn his life had taken. Within a month, he'd gone from getting rejected by an investor to becoming an internet sensation with multiple career paths suddenly available. But amid this whirlwind, what struck him most were the hundreds of emails he received from people sharing their own struggles with rejection. Far from the rare condition he'd imagined, fear of rejection appeared to be a universal human experience that prevented countless people from pursuing their dreams. Reading these heartfelt messages, Jia realized he'd stumbled upon something far more meaningful than his original goal. He'd wanted to invent something millions would find useful, and by tackling his own fear head-on, he'd accidentally uncovered a need shared by most of humanity. As Y Combinator founder Paul Graham had written: "The way to get startup ideas is not to try to think of startup ideas. It's to look for problems, preferably problems you have yourself." Jia had found his true calling—helping people overcome their fear of rejection.

Chapter 6: Principles of Rejection-Proofing

As Jia continued his rejection journey, he began developing a systematic approach to increase his chances of receiving a "yes" when making requests. Rather than downplaying his requests to make them easier, he maintained their challenging nature while applying principles that made acceptance more likely, regardless of what he was asking for. One crucial principle Jia discovered was the importance of explaining "why" he was making a request. When he offered five-dollar bills to random strangers without explanation, three out of five refused. Yet when he asked strangers in New York City to pose for photos with him, explaining he believed people were an integral part of a city's character, every single person agreed. This aligned with Harvard psychologist Ellen Langer's famous "Copy Machine" experiment, which demonstrated that people's responses to requests are deeply influenced by knowing there's a reason behind them—even if that reason is trivial or obvious. Jia also learned the value of authenticity in his requests. During one attempt, he asked a hairdresser if he could cut her hair, suggesting she "must be bored" with her job. This manufactured reason, which Jia thought was generous, insulted the professional who took pride in her work. The encounter quickly deteriorated, with the hairdresser and her customer becoming defensive. Jia realized that starting requests with "I" and expressing his genuine desires was more effective than pretending to know what would benefit the other person. Another powerful technique was acknowledging others' doubts preemptively. When Jia asked to be a greeter at Starbucks, the barista seemed hesitant. By asking "Is that weird?", Jia gave the barista permission to express his concerns honestly, which opened a path to resolution. This counter-intuitive approach builds credibility rather than undermining it, as companies like Domino's Pizza have discovered. When Domino's publicly criticized its own pizza quality as part of a relaunch campaign, sales jumped 14.3 percent—the highest quarterly gain ever recorded by a major fast-food chain. Jia also recognized the importance of targeting the right audience. When attempting to give a college lecture, he initially approached the business school but found it empty during break. He then contacted a communications professor who taught debate, explaining his rejection journey. The professor saw value in Jia's experiences, noting that "people in movements get rejected a lot when they are trying to start something." By targeting someone whose curriculum aligned with his message, Jia succeeded where a random approach might have failed. When giving rejections himself, Jia identified three key principles. First, patience and respect matter—rejecting someone with kindness leaves them feeling valued despite the "no." Second, being direct saves everyone time and emotional energy—avoiding long setups or "yes-but" constructions that only build false hope. Third, offering alternatives creates goodwill—when a Costco manager couldn't let Jia use the store intercom, he instead offered him a free dinner and suggested alternative ways to share his positive experience. Perhaps most importantly, Jia discovered rejection's hidden upsides. Rejection can serve as powerful motivation—Michael Jordan famously used every slight to fuel his competitive fire. It can be a tool for self-improvement—by analyzing rejection feedback dispassionately, one can refine approaches and products. Sometimes rejection even signals worthiness—history's most transformative ideas, from Galileo's scientific theories to Gandhi's nonviolent resistance, were initially rejected precisely because they challenged conventional thinking. By applying these principles systematically, Jia transformed from someone paralyzed by rejection fear to someone who could navigate rejection with confidence and even turn it to his advantage. These weren't just theoretical concepts but practical tools proven through his 100 days of real-world experimentation.

Chapter 7: Finding Freedom and Authentic Self

As Jia approached the end of his 100-day journey, he experienced a profound transformation in how he related to rejection and, ultimately, to himself. What began as an external quest to overcome fear had evolved into something far more meaningful—a path to personal freedom and authenticity. For his 92nd rejection attempt, Jia visited a local airport and asked pilot Desmond if he could fly his plane—a request he was certain would be rejected. To his surprise, Desmond agreed, taking Jia up in his gyroplane and teaching him to fly. The experience was exhilarating, but what struck Jia most was a simple thought: what if he had never asked? Throughout his journey, countless experiences—from Olympic donuts to teaching a college class—would never have materialized if fear had kept him silent. He realized that by not asking, we reject ourselves by default, often missing life's unexpected opportunities. This newfound freedom to ask extended beyond Jia's rejection experiments into his personal relationships. He finally called his uncle—the one whose dismissal of his shoe-skate invention years earlier had so profoundly affected him—to understand why he had rejected the idea. To Jia's surprise, his uncle explained he had always admired Jia's entrepreneurial spirit but simply didn't think that particular idea would work. For over a decade, Jia had misinterpreted this rejection as a fundamental disapproval of his entrepreneurial dreams, when it had merely been an opinion about one specific concept. This revelation highlighted how much Jia had previously craved external validation. Like many people, he had sought approval for everything from career choices to minor decisions, bending himself in ways that weren't authentic. Through his rejection journey, he discovered that the person whose acceptance he needed most was himself. Being comfortable with who he is should be a prerequisite—not the result—of seeking others' approval. For his 100th and final rejection attempt, Jia decided to apply everything he had learned to help his wife, Tracy, who had supported his entrepreneurial dreams and rejection journey. Rather than pursuing a flashy stunt like meeting a celebrity, he chose something meaningful—helping Tracy land her dream job at Google, a company with a notoriously selective hiring process and an acceptance rate below 0.5%. They approached the challenge using rejection-proof principles: focusing on what they could control (networking, improving her résumé, preparation) rather than what they couldn't (others' responses, interview outcomes). Tracy embraced the process, sending dozens of networking requests and remaining authentic in her interactions. After three rejections for different positions, she received a fourth interview but was ultimately turned down again. Two days later, however, the Google recruiter called back—they had changed their mind and wanted to offer her the position. The recruiter later explained that Tracy's positive response to rejection had impressed him so much that he advocated for her reconsideration. "With my years of experience being a recruiter, I've never seen that happen," he said. "The moral of the story was, treat everyone nicely, even when they say no." This experience perfectly encapsulated Jia's journey: rejection is an opinion that can change, and approaching it with the right mindset can transform outcomes in surprising ways. By focusing on what we can control and detaching from results, we achieve greater long-term success. Most importantly, by accepting ourselves fully, we gain the freedom to pursue our authentic path regardless of others' opinions. After Tracy started at Google, the family moved to Silicon Valley. Jia continued making rejection attempts to keep his "courage muscle" strong while devoting his entrepreneurial energy to helping others overcome their fear of rejection. In doing so, he reconnected with his childhood self—the boy who idolized innovators and dreamed of changing the world. That child had never truly disappeared; he had simply been buried beneath layers of fear. By confronting what frightened him most, Jia had found not just freedom from rejection, but freedom to be his authentic self.

Summary

At its core, Jia Jiang's journey reveals a profound truth: rejection is not an absolute judgment but a malleable human interaction that we have the power to transform. By deliberately seeking out 100 rejections—from asking for Olympic ring donuts to requesting to fly a stranger's plane—Jia discovered that rejection is simply an opinion that reflects the rejector more than the rejectee, has a number that can be overcome with persistence, and offers hidden opportunities for growth, motivation, and self-discovery. His experience demonstrates that freedom from rejection fear doesn't come from avoiding rejection, but from changing our relationship with it. The principles Jia uncovered offer practical guidance for anyone facing rejection in any realm: ask "why" after hearing no; retreat to lesser requests rather than running away; collaborate instead of arguing; switch up your approach rather than giving up; give authentic reasons for your requests; acknowledge others' doubts; target receptive audiences; and focus on what you can control while detaching from outcomes. Beyond these tactical approaches lies a deeper wisdom—that our most important acceptance must come from within. When we free ourselves from craving external validation and embrace our authentic selves, we gain the courage to ask for what we truly want and need. In this liberation from rejection fear lies the ultimate freedom—to live without regret, to pursue our deepest aspirations, and to become who we were always meant to be.

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Jia Jiang

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