A New Way for Mothers

A New Way for Mothers Plot Summary

Introduction

The journey of motherhood often brings unexpected turns—joyful moments intertwined with challenges that test our resilience and sense of self. Many mothers experience that pivotal moment when, amid the intensity of caregiving, they begin to wonder: "What about me? What happened to my career, my skills, my dreams?" This questioning isn't a sign of failing as a mother; rather, it signals the beginning of an exciting new chapter where caregiving and personal fulfillment can beautifully coexist. This transformative journey isn't about returning to your pre-children life or fitting into traditional work structures that weren't designed with mothers in mind. It's about creating a new way—one that honors your authentic self, reconnects you with your natural talents, and empowers you to contribute meaningfully while being present for your family. Through practical steps, inspiring stories, and wisdom gathered from countless women who've walked this path, you'll discover how to integrate well-being, purpose, and growth into your life in the hours available to you, creating a sustainable approach that benefits not only yourself but future generations.

Chapter 1: Reconnecting with Your Mind and Skills

The journey beyond full-time caregiving begins with reconnecting to your mind—that powerful instrument that may have been focused primarily on diaper changes, feeding schedules, and household management. This reconnection isn't just about engaging your intellect; it's about clearing away mental fog and rediscovering the skills and talents that make you uniquely you. Louise Webster, founder of beyondtheschoolrun.com, experienced this disconnection firsthand. After selling her PR agency and moving away from the city following the birth of her first child, she felt a wall of exhaustion hit her. The intensity of caregiving consumed her, but eventually, she felt a desperate need to reconnect with her professional self. "I found that not working hugely impacted how I felt and my well-being," she explains. Yet the barriers to returning to flexible work seemed insurmountable. Looking around at school pickup, she noticed countless women—lawyers, marketers, human resources professionals—who had stepped away from careers to care for children, their valuable skills untapped. This observation sparked Louise's determination to create change. She established beyondtheschoolrun.com as a place to inspire and connect parents with their skills in the hours available to them. What surprised her was discovering talents she never knew she possessed. "If anyone had ever told me I would write a book, I would never have believed them," she confesses. The process of reconnecting with her mind unlocked capabilities that had been dormant. To begin your own reconnection, start with being fully present. The early years of parenting naturally slow us down, bringing us into a cocoon where new patterns emerge. Children are masterful teachers of presence—they exist completely in the now, untroubled by past or future. This gift of presence allows you to see clearly what you already have and what steps to take next. Practice focusing on the present moment during everyday activities with your children, whether it's a nature walk or playtime, and notice how anxiety about your situation melts away. Working your mind again is another crucial step. Louise found that engaging her brain through TED talks, articles about women and work, and other stimulating content reignited her passion and confidence. She recommends starting your day with "brain work" before tackling less complex tasks. This mental exercise fires up your cognitive abilities much like morning physical exercise kickstarts your metabolism. Remember that this journey isn't about updating your CV or finding career advisors—that's the old way. It's about recognizing yourself as a whole person and understanding that the intense period of caregiving has given you space to strip away what doesn't serve you, allowing your authentic skills and talents to emerge stronger than before.

Chapter 2: Building Authentic Connections

Creating meaningful connections becomes vital when navigating the balance between motherhood and professional fulfillment. However, the nature of these connections must shift from quantity to quality. With limited and often unpredictable windows of time available, understanding how and with whom to connect becomes crucial for moving forward on your journey. Louise discovered that authentic connection begins with connecting to yourself first. "I don't think the sense of isolation comes from not being around others. I think it comes from a lack of connection with our true selves," she explains. During intense periods of caregiving, she felt mentally full yet empty of inspiration. By reconnecting with herself, she began to uncover her values that had been tucked away. Despite being told early in her PR career that she couldn't be both nice and successful in business, she eventually realigned with her true values of kindness and compassion. The school gates community proved to be an unexpected resource for Louise. One day, while chatting with a father named Rob during the brief pickup window, she mentioned her work with beyondtheschoolrun.com. It turned out he was a specialist in customer web usability on a break between jobs. He offered invaluable guidance when she was relaunching the second phase of her website. This experience taught her that the knowledge and expertise she needed were often right where she was—she just had to see it and initiate the right conversations. Social media became another powerful connection tool for Louise. Initially unfamiliar with it, she found that platforms like Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram opened up worlds of community and support. "Each platform is so valuable and is available to us all, free and completely empowering," she notes. Through social media, she discovered people and businesses that shared her values and ethos—her "tribe"—and could share more from her heart. Reconnecting with your skills through volunteering can also build meaningful connections. When Louise started beyondtheschoolrun.com, she didn't have specific experience creating a social enterprise, so she shared what she had for free—speaking at events and writing blogs. This approach not only helped others but allowed her to rediscover her own abilities. "I learnt and rediscovered skills that I never knew I had by working this way," she reflects. One pivotal moment came when she volunteered to speak at an International Women's Day event. Sharing her story authentically created an incredible connection with the audience that left her feeling empowered. The key to making these connections work for you is being selective and intuitive. Not every networking event deserves your precious time, and not every conversation needs to be pursued. Follow your instincts about who to connect with, be authentic whether online or in person, and share your news and developments with others who genuinely support your journey.

Chapter 3: Creating Your Flexible Work Framework

Establishing a new way of working that accommodates both caregiving and professional fulfillment requires a shift in mindset and approach. This isn't about fitting into traditional work structures but creating a framework that honors your authentic self while allowing flexibility to evolve as your children grow. Louise initially resisted setting up another business after her PR agency but found herself naturally drawn to entrepreneurship again—not for the business structure itself but to solve a social issue she was passionate about. At the Silicon Valley Comes to the UK 2014 Summit, where she was invited as one of their CEOs, she had a moment of clarity: "I didn't feel out of place; I felt like I was meant to be there, amongst kindred spirits. I came home with such an incredible feeling—that this was me, that this was my environment." For Louise, developing a business "the female way" became crucial. Rather than the all-or-nothing approach that had deterred many women from entrepreneurship, she focused on creating a business led by purpose, passion, and compassion. When she spoke to Carrie Green, founder of the Female Entrepreneur Association, Carrie emphasized the importance of having a clear mission: "I call it my 'entrepreneurial north star,' always there, shining bright, guiding me to make the right decisions. It is so easy to get distracted, with people suggesting, giving ideas. If you don't have that clear vision, it is so easy to go off track." Not everyone is suited to entrepreneurship, however, and Louise explores other flexible work options like freelancing and social selling. Nancy Cruickshank from Myshowcase.com noted that "what is really important, beyond earning money, for most women, is being part of a community; training, recognition at all levels and stages of development, and collaborative work supporting and championing each other." Finding places to work effectively presented another challenge. Louise initially commuted to a flexible working office in London before realizing that the travel time could be better spent working. She began finding places closer to home—hotel lobbies where she could sit for a few hours while her daughter slept. Eventually, she created a dedicated workspace at home that was solely for her work, keeping it entirely clear of anything not related to her professional growth. Meetings also required rethinking. Louise learned to be selective, suggesting phone calls first and reserving face-to-face meetings for when physical presence was truly necessary. She even got creative, once inviting all the people she wanted to meet to a single morning breakfast—allowing everyone to make connections while maximizing her limited time. The transition to this new way isn't always smooth. Old patterns of thinking about work are hard to shift, and there's often a pull back to familiar structures. Louise kept thinking she needed to be working in London to be productive until she realized what she really needed was her brain and a computer. Staying focused on your bigger picture—why you're creating this new way—can help you remain committed when challenges arise.

Chapter 4: Finding Your Flow and Energy

Creating and maintaining your natural flow is essential for sustained energy, focus, and productivity in this new way of working. When you find your flow—that state where you're fully immersed in your work and lose track of time—you can accomplish more in short periods with a sense of ease rather than strain. Louise discovered that finding her flow wasn't something she was previously aware of. "I just thought of work as something that took focus, attention, and discipline," she explains. But when she began developing beyondtheschoolrun.com, she experienced a different way of working—almost like a meditative state where her mind became clear of everything except what she was doing. Her body didn't feel strained, and she wasn't forcing herself to achieve. "It is almost as if you are being carried along," she describes. To find and maintain her flow, Louise established several essential practices: morning rituals, exercise, nutrition, positive mindset, and connecting with her feminine way of working. She noticed that when she wasn't in her flow, she questioned her work more, looked for external reassurance, and everything took longer and required more strain. "I think it's already in us, but it needs unlocking," she reflects about flow. "Really, our job is to find it and make it a daily practice until it becomes second nature again." Louise had to examine her habits to discover what supported her flow and what hindered it. She stopped multitasking—something she'd done for years—and found that focusing on one task at a time made her more efficient. She established a morning routine of early exercise and taking vitamins with her coffee. These seemingly small changes made a significant difference in her energy and productivity throughout the day. Creating a flexible routine became crucial as her children transitioned from nursery to school, opening up longer periods for work. Initially daunting, the nine-to-three school day required a new structure. Working from her home office helped her focus during these hours. But this routine also needed to accommodate school holidays, requiring adaptability. "I think the children's calendar can support us too and help create a balance," Louise notes. "The holidays are for spending more time outside in society, and then once the school term starts, you can return to your regular routine." Mondays presented a particular challenge after family-focused weekends. Louise found that setting a specific Monday task she committed to completing every week gave her a sense of achievement and clarity about how to begin each week. For inspiration on Monday mornings, she would watch vlogs by creators like Marie Forleo or Gabrielle Bernstein, eventually creating her own Monday morning video vlogs for beyondtheschoolrun.com. Throughout this journey of finding your flow, remember that it isn't a race but a pace. When you focus on creating sustainable energy and productivity patterns, you'll reach your goals while maintaining well-being and presence for your family. As Louise reminds us, "This is about working for the long-term... an ebb and flow of working and caregiving... that keeps you engaged and connected and creates a great sense of wellness throughout your full life."

Chapter 5: Cultivating Self-Care and Growth

The journey of combining motherhood with professional fulfillment requires intentional focus on self-care and personal growth. This isn't a luxury but a necessity that directly impacts your work, relationships, and overall happiness. When you grow, your perspective shifts, and your entire world transforms as a result. Louise describes personal growth as "understanding ourselves better, working towards our greatest potential, releasing parts of ourselves not needed, and finding the parts that are making us happier, stronger, and kinder people." This growth journey often requires courage to take steps that seem challenging or to follow your own path even when it differs from others. During her early work with beyondtheschoolrun.com, Louise accepted a speaking engagement despite feeling terrified. "I felt sick all the weekend before, but I knew I needed to challenge myself," she recalls. The presentation became a milestone that left her feeling exhilarated, as though she had climbed a mountain. She later discovered that each small brave step led to bigger ones. When Harriet Minter, Editor of Women in Leadership at The Guardian, asked her to write an article, Louise initially doubted her writing abilities based on past criticism. Seeing her published piece online brought her to tears, challenging a deep-seated belief that writing wasn't something she could do. Personal growth also involves reassessing friendships and social connections. With limited time and energy, Louise began recognizing which relationships nurtured her and which drained her. "The starting point really has to be becoming a best friend to ourselves," she advises. Learning to speak to yourself as your greatest friend would and nurturing yourself becomes fundamental. From this foundation, you can build authentic connections with others who truly align with your values and journey. External appearance might seem trivial amid the demands of motherhood and work, but Louise found that reconnecting with her personal style became an important aspect of self-care. After a moment of realization at her children's school when she felt disconnected from herself, she promised to take a moment each day to feel her best within the time available. She took three initial steps: decluttering her wardrobe, finding a simple "uniform" that worked (Gap skinny jeans and t-shirts), and reconnecting with her authentic style through fashion blogs and research. Personal growth also involves letting go of past emotions that might be keeping you stuck. Dr. Yehudi Gordon, specialist in women's health, explained to Louise how "our early life experiences before the age of three drive our behaviour" and how "negative experiences pre–one year old can be stored in the body in the form of rage." Parenting often triggers these stored emotions, providing an opportunity to identify and release them. Louise learned to check whether her emotional reactions to situations were proportionate or possibly connected to historic experiences. Finally, cultivating gratitude became transformative for Louise. "The moment I started to focus on gratitude was, without a doubt, a defining moment in my journey," she shares. Her mentality shifted from comparison and lack to appreciation and contentment. On her forty-third birthday, rather than focusing on what she would receive, she wrote a gratitude list and put a "thank you" sign in her office as a reminder. This practice helped her stay present and provided a balanced foundation from which to grow.

Chapter 6: Managing Money Matters Confidently

The financial aspect of creating a new way as a mother requires understanding your authentic connection with money—one that helps you live and thrive with purpose. After periods focused intensely on caregiving, reconnecting with earning can bring up various emotions because our relationship with money is deeply rooted in our sense of self-worth. Louise discovered that after years without earning a salary, she felt disempowered. "If I wasn't the one earning it, it felt very different, and I felt disconnected from a part of myself. The lack of independence I felt from this was stifling," she reveals. This wasn't about the amount of money but about the independence it provided to make her own choices without accountability to others. Our relationship with money is influenced by messages we've received since childhood and by how society values different types of work. Louise notes that caregiving often isn't recognized financially, which impacts self-worth: "When half, or more than half, of your working day is spent caring for and nurturing others but your effort isn't valued, your sense of self-worth suffers." Taking steps toward earning again, even in limited hours, can restore this sense of value and independence. Louise connected with Kate Northrup's work on money, appreciating her focus on belief systems and feminine approaches to finance rather than traditional discussions. She realized women are often removed from money conversations—experiencing situations where financial discussions were directed to her husband instead of her. Just as her son helped her become more informed about sports through regular conversations, Louise believes women need to engage with money talk: "If we want to grow our money, then we need to talk about it, we need to connect with it, and together we need to empower ourselves to earn, save, and grow." For those starting to reconnect with earning, Louise emphasizes creating a long-term vision and plan. When she interviewed entrepreneur Debbie Wosskow, CEO of Lovehomeswap.com, Debbie shared advice her mother gave her: "Always have your own money" and "If you like nice things, then you need to earn to have them." Debbie takes a structured approach to finances, staying focused on where her money is and taking charge of it. "If you are running anything, you have to learn about and understand money," she advises. Carrie Green, founder of the Female Entrepreneur Association, shared her struggle with charging for her services. Initially focused solely on giving and serving her audience, she reached a financial low point before realizing: "I could be of greater service by charging. I used to think charging someone for something was taking, when in fact you are giving because you can serve more." Carrie uses visualization techniques, affirmations, and a dream jar containing her individual dreams to stay positively focused on financial growth. To begin your own financial journey, Louise suggests committing to connecting with money again step by step. Notice your communications about money and what limiting beliefs you might be expressing. Consider how you felt about money in your younger years. Be kind to yourself about the work you've done that hasn't been financially recognized. Say out loud that you're keen to start working and earning again. Join communities where money is discussed openly, and connect with those empowering women financially. Most importantly, stay open to opportunities you might never have imagined—just as Louise won funding through Britain's Top Real Role Model competition that helped move her business forward.

Chapter 7: Embracing Rest and Renewal

After establishing your flow and taking steps toward your dreams, it's essential to recognize the importance of rest and renewal. This isn't a step backward but a crucial part of your journey that allows you to restore yourself and return stronger and clearer than before. Louise initially resisted taking breaks, fearing she might lose momentum and the new patterns and habits she had worked hard to establish. "However, taking time to rest is so important," she came to realize. "It will enable you to restore yourself and come back stronger and clearer." This renewal takes many forms, from digital detoxing to decluttering to acknowledging your progress. Digital detoxing became a vital practice for Louise. Despite appreciating the benefits of the digital age, she recognized how constant engagement with phones and computers impacted her work and well-being. "When we remain continually engaged with our phones or computers, it can really impact our work," she explains. "Time away from our phones and screens provides vital space for thought and self-discovery." She started disconnecting completely on Sundays and during holidays. Though initially challenging—she found herself drawn to her phone during quiet family moments—the results were transformative. After one digital detox vacation, she returned home with renewed energy and focus, finally launching the BeyondTheSchoolRun YouTube channel she had been struggling with before. Decluttering physical spaces also proved powerful for Louise. "I can't tell you quite how much decluttering has been such an important part of this journey," she emphasizes. "It has cleared my head and my workspace, but it has also made it easier for me to move between caregiving and meetings." The process not only created physical space but mental space as well, making room for new ideas and opportunities. Through consistent decluttering, she transformed a small room at the top of her house into a dedicated office space that felt separate from the rest of her home—a sanctuary for her work. Meditation became another renewal practice for Louise. "I think it's easy to hear about meditation but not easy to implement it into your life," she acknowledges. She started with trial subscriptions to apps like Headspace and Calm, along with Oprah and Deepak guided meditations. Even ten minutes in the morning, or when her mind felt full or energy dipped, made her feel "infinitely calmer and clearer" with more sustained energy. An essential part of renewal involves acknowledging the progress you've made. When not working in a traditional sense where hours directly equal money, you might miss the sense of progression or achievement. Louise recommends taking time to recognize development in all areas—not just work but health and well-being too. "Look at how much stronger do you feel? Do you have more clarity, passion, and purpose?" she suggests. This acknowledgment helps maintain motivation when facing challenges. Setting positive intentions for the future completes the renewal cycle. Though planning didn't come naturally to Louise, she discovered its power, particularly at the beginning of the school year and calendar year. "I've learnt that you need to set intentions, that you need to truly feel and see what you are going to create," she explains. "When you do this, you can take steps towards your vision." Remember that renewal isn't self-indulgent but essential for sustainable growth. As Louise learned, "When you pace yourself, there is more longevity in your work, your well-being, and your happiness." By embracing these practices of rest and renewal, you create space for your next phase of growth and development.

Summary

The journey toward creating a new way as a mother isn't about returning to your pre-children life or fitting into traditional structures that weren't designed with mothers in mind. It's about discovering your authentic self—reconnecting with your natural talents while honoring the profound experience of motherhood. As Steve Jobs wisely said, "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become." Today, take one small step toward reconnecting with yourself—whether that's ten minutes of morning meditation, a conversation about your skills at school pickup, or writing down your values and dreams. Remember that this isn't a race but a journey of creating sustainable patterns that allow you to thrive alongside your family. Each step forward, however small, moves you closer to a life where caregiving and fulfillment exist in beautiful harmony, creating a legacy of possibility for generations to come.

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Louise Webster

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