Overworked and Overwhelmed

Overworked and Overwhelmed Plot Summary

Introduction

Every day we face a relentless barrage of demands on our time and attention. Emails pile up, notifications ping, deadlines loom, and family obligations call for our presence. In this hyper-connected world, many of us operate in a perpetual state of fight-or-flight, our bodies flooded with stress hormones as we rush from one task to the next. The feeling of being constantly overworked and overwhelmed has become so common that we barely question it anymore. Yet this chronic state takes a devastating toll on our health, relationships, and effectiveness. When we're caught in this cycle, we can't access our best thinking or bring our full presence to what matters most. The good news is that there's an alternative to this frantic existence. By cultivating mindfulness – the practice of bringing focused awareness and intention to the present moment – we can break free from the overwhelm cycle and reclaim our capacity for clear thinking, meaningful connection, and purposeful action.

Chapter 1: Recognize Your Fight-or-Flight Triggers

At the core of our overwhelm is the body's ancient survival mechanism: the fight-or-flight response. This powerful physiological reaction served our ancestors well when facing predators, but in today's world, it's constantly triggered by non-life-threatening stressors like email notifications, traffic jams, or looming deadlines. Understanding this system is the first step toward mastering it. Henry Lescault, a former federal agent, knows firsthand how critical it is to manage this response. During an undercover operation early in his law enforcement career, Henry found himself in a potentially deadly situation when a drug dealer suddenly asked, "Is your name Henry?" – threatening to expose his identity. In that heart-stopping moment, as the dealer threatened to kill him and his family, Henry's training kicked in. He took a calm, measured breath, held it briefly, and responded with composed confidence: "No, it's Dave." His ability to regulate his nervous system in that moment quite possibly saved his life. What Henry did that night was expertly manage his internal response to an external threat. His practiced breathing technique activated his parasympathetic nervous system – what scientists call the "rest and digest" response – which counterbalanced his natural fight-or-flight impulse. This allowed him to stay clear-headed and respond effectively rather than react from panic. While most of us aren't facing life-threatening situations, we experience countless minor threats throughout our day that trigger the same physiological response. As Caroline Starner, a senior vice president at a major corporation, explains, "I realized that my thought processes were becoming chaotic under pressure, and I needed to do something to break that cycle and return to a calm state where I could function better." The first step in breaking free from overwhelm is recognizing your personal triggers. Perhaps it's the ping of an after-hours work email, a particular tone in a colleague's voice, or walking into a chaotic home after a long day. Start by noticing when your breathing becomes shallow, your muscles tense, and your thoughts race – these are telltale signs that your fight-or-flight response has been activated. By identifying these triggers and understanding how they affect you physically and mentally, you gain the power to pause and choose a different response. As Admiral Thad Allen, who led the federal response to Hurricane Katrina, puts it: "You have to be careful about what rents space in your head." This awareness creates the space for mindful choice instead of reactive autopilot.

Chapter 2: Master the Breathing Anchor

When we're caught in the grip of overwhelm, our breathing typically becomes shallow and rapid – a physical manifestation of our stressed state. Learning to control and deepen our breath is the most powerful and accessible tool we have for shifting from fight-or-flight to a more balanced state of mind. This is why breathing serves as the fundamental anchor of mindfulness practice. Alanson Van Fleet, a senior executive at a global financial services company, experienced this transformative power firsthand during a high-stakes presentation to his company's senior leadership. Ten minutes into his talk, he realized things weren't going well: "I started to feel fear come into my body. I could feel tension at the back of my neck and across my shoulders. Then it hit my stomach." Rather than panicking, Van Fleet noticed these sensations and took deliberate action: "I asked myself, how can I step back even with all these eyes on me? How can I take a breath, compose myself, and relax so this fear doesn't take over?" By taking a moment to breathe and center himself, Van Fleet was able to pivot his approach. "It came to me that this was not the time to close the sale," he recalled. "Instead, I shifted gears and engaged the executives in dialogue: 'With all of this in mind, what questions should we be asking? How are you experiencing this situation?'" Though the meeting wasn't a complete success, his mindful response prevented it from becoming a disaster and kept the project alive. The beauty of breath as an anchor is its simplicity and constant availability. You don't need special equipment, training, or even privacy to practice it. Studies show that just a few minutes of focused breathing can reduce stress hormones and increase cognitive function. Research at Wake Forest University found that participants who practiced a simple breathing meditation for 20 minutes a day over just four days improved their ability to sustain focus by a factor of ten compared to a control group. To implement this practice, start with the STOP technique: Stop what you're doing, Take some deep breaths, Observe what's happening in your body and mind, then Proceed with greater awareness. Place one hand on your chest and the other on your belly, then breathe deeply through your nose. Your bottom hand should move outward as your belly expands on the inhale, and inward as you exhale through your mouth. Jeri Finard, CEO of Godiva Chocolatier, integrates this practice into her daily workflow: "I have to reorient myself from whatever I was doing and feeling. Before each meeting, I take two or three deep breaths. It helps me put myself back in the moment of what I need to do with these people at this time." This simple act of attention creates a reset point that allows for greater presence and effectiveness.

Chapter 3: Build Your Physical Foundation

Your physical well-being forms the essential foundation for everything else in your life. When your body is depleted, stressed, and running on fumes, it's nearly impossible to access your best thinking or bring your full presence to what matters most. Creating sustainable physical routines is therefore the cornerstone of any effective mindfulness practice. Jane, a high-achieving executive in financial services, learned this lesson the hard way. Known as the go-to problem solver in her organization, she regularly worked 12-hour days and traveled internationally three weeks per month. "The lack of sleep, not eating correctly, not having time to exercise, working a god-awful lot of hours, plus just the stress of the work" eventually caught up with her. A family history of autoimmune disease suddenly manifested in her own life, forcing her completely off the field. This health crisis became Jane's wake-up call. She realized that the lifestyle she had normalized was literally killing her. "The one thing you're not supposed to do when there's a propensity for this disease in your family is work yourself to death," she reflected. The good news is that by incorporating healthy physical routines into her life, Jane not only recovered but actually advanced in her career. Her colleagues now describe her as "more relaxed, more likely to listen, with her sense of humor coming out more often." Movement stands as the "killer app" of physical routines – the single most effective practice for countering the effects of chronic stress. Any form of regular movement, especially those with rhythmic, repetitive elements like walking, running, swimming, or yoga, helps your body process and eliminate stress hormones that accumulate during fight-or-flight states. Andy Ajello, a senior vice president at Novo Nordisk, maintains physical routines that keep him performing at his best despite a demanding travel schedule. His baseline includes 30 minutes of daily cardio followed by 15-20 minutes of stretching. "When you're there for meetings and dinners with colleagues or customers, exercise helps keep you energized and focused and not just going through the motions the next day," he explains. Quality sleep and mindful eating complete this physical foundation. Sleep isn't a luxury but a biological necessity – 95% of adults need 7-8 hours per night for optimal brain function. Similarly, what you eat directly impacts your cognitive capacity and energy levels. The Eblin family discovered this when Diane, experiencing persistent fatigue, began working with a health coach who helped transform their eating habits from processed foods to nutrient-dense meals, resulting in dramatically improved wellbeing for the entire family. Start with one small, sustainable change rather than attempting a complete lifestyle overhaul. Remember Brian Halligan's insight as CEO of HubSpot: "Your prefrontal cortex can't hold much information and gets full quickly. If I'm tired, it gets full." By taking care of your physical needs first, you create the capacity for everything else.

Chapter 4: Clear Mental Clutter

Our minds generate an estimated 70,000 thoughts per day, creating an internal landscape that can either support our clarity and focus or become a tangled mess of worry, regret, and distraction. The mental domain of mindfulness focuses on learning to navigate this constant stream of thoughts so they serve rather than sabotage us. Crystal Cooper, a vice president at a major technology company, discovered the profound difference this mental clarity can make. Despite facing a high-pressure presentation that she and her team hadn't fully prepared for, Cooper maintained remarkable calm. When asked how she managed this, she explained: "How you feel internally is how you will present externally. It's very hard to be calm on the outside if you're not calm on the inside. For me, that comes from daily routines that get me to a place where I can access that creativity and be calm and confident." One of the most powerful techniques for clearing mental clutter involves understanding the three time frames of mind: past, present, and future. Our thoughts constantly skip between rehashing the past, reacting to the present, and worrying about the future – creating mental chaos that feels overwhelming. By recognizing which time frame you're operating in, you can apply specific practices to bring focus and calm. For past-oriented rumination and regret, a simple three-step process can help: First, take several deep breaths to center yourself in the present moment. Research from INSEAD and the Wharton School shows that just 15 minutes of focused breathing significantly reduces our tendency to dwell on past decisions. Second, conduct a brief "lessons learned" analysis by asking: What was supposed to happen? What actually happened? What would I do differently next time? Finally, take one concrete action based on what you've learned. For present-moment distractions, try "playing with presence" by fully engaging with routine activities you typically perform on autopilot. Frank Williams, CEO of Evolent Health, practices this with everyday tasks: "Whenever I would wash dishes, all I would think about was that I didn't want to be doing it. When I started to just focus on the activity itself – literally cleaning the plate – it became an immensely satisfying experience." For future-oriented worry, visualization techniques can transform anxiety into productive preparation. After taking a few calming breaths, ask yourself: "What am I trying to do?" and "How do I need to show up to do that?" This shifts your mind from vague worrying to specific planning. As educator Ward Mailliard reminds his students, "Worry is not a form of preparation." The critical insight is that mental clarity doesn't come from having no thoughts, but from developing a new relationship with your thinking. As Bryan Kest, creator of Power Yoga, explains: "Mindfulness means being aware of where your mind dwells because it's only then that you can stop feeding harmful tendencies. Wake up and look at what you're doing. When you notice where your mind goes, you have a choice in your life."

Chapter 5: Strengthen Key Relationships

The quality of our relationships profoundly impacts both our sense of wellbeing and our ability to perform effectively. In our hyperconnected yet increasingly isolated world, the mindful cultivation of strong relational bonds serves as a powerful antidote to overwhelm. Early in his corporate career, Scott Eblin received a wake-up call when a 360-degree assessment revealed that his team "hated his guts." When he asked them why, they unanimously replied, "You make us feel like we're not important." The specific behavior? "Whenever we're in a meeting with you, you're constantly looking at your watch. It makes us feel like you're not listening and that you have something more important to do." This pivotal feedback transformed Eblin's approach to leadership and life. Today, the same dynamic plays out with smartphones instead of watches. Research shows that 84% of people report they could not go a day without checking their smartphones, and 72% are never more than five feet away from their devices. The consequence? Our connections suffer – and so does our health. A meta-analysis by Brigham Young University found that having weak social relationships is as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. The "killer app" of relational routines is mindful listening – being fully present with another person without the distraction of your own agenda or response preparation. This type of listening exists on a spectrum: transient listening (focused on yourself and getting through the interaction quickly), transactional listening (focused on solving a problem or completing a task), and transformational listening (focused on deep understanding and connection). Per Wingerup, a vice president at CBS Corporation, describes what transformational listening creates: "Both parties leave thinking, 'Wow, that was a great conversation. There were a lot of aha moments. I feel really good about myself leaving that conversation.' This happens when you get down to the heart of the matter and have a real, vulnerable conversation where you can talk about your concerns and what you're not sure about." Building strong relationships requires intentional investment of time. Keith and Suzan Bickel, busy executives with demanding careers, found an innovative solution when their daughter was born. With childcare complicating their ability to connect as a couple, they established a standing weekly breakfast date that has continued for 15 years. Their only rule: they can talk about anything except their daughter. When asked about the benefit, Suzanne replied with one word: "Connectedness." For parents, quality often matters more than quantity. Frank Williams notes, "We don't have enough time in the day. At some point I recognized that if I spend three fully present hours with my kids, that's better than 12 hours with them where I'm not fully present. It's more personally fulfilling for all of us." The relational domain offers perhaps the greatest return on investment for your mindfulness practice. As Teresa Amabile of Harvard Business School observes, strong relationships help us "see bright spots in the workday – moments of beauty, grace, humor, or kindness." These qualities make life worth living and help transform overwhelm into engagement.

Chapter 6: Create Meaningful Routines

Developing routines that support your mindfulness practice is essential for making it sustainable rather than just another item on your to-do list. The right routines, practiced consistently, create the conditions for you to show up at your best without having to reinvent the wheel each day. Alanson Van Fleet, the financial services executive we met earlier, starts each day with what he calls his "happy hour" – but it has nothing to do with alcohol. "I spend the first 60 minutes of the day really focusing on taking care of myself," he explains. "First, it's 20 minutes of pretty vigorous exercise on my bike. Then I set a timer for 20 minutes of reading material related to a mindful way of life. I wrap up with 20 minutes of meditation." This morning ritual sets him up "with an incredibly positive frame of mind that leaves me feeling very connected with my mind, body, and spirit." The most effective routines align with what Aristotle observed centuries ago: "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit." The key is finding routines that reinforce how you are at your best – those characteristics and behaviors that reflect when you're performing at your peak. For some, like Elizabeth Bolgiano of AMAG Pharmaceuticals, this includes spiritual practices: "Some days it's five minutes on the floor in the basement after I've worked out, just going through repetitive prayers that are very helpful for me to calm myself and get my breathing into the right place and clear my mind." When establishing new routines, follow the "baby steps" principle – small, consistent actions build momentum more effectively than dramatic overhauls that prove unsustainable. Patricia, a working mother, created a simple routine that transformed her family life. The last step of her commute home involves walking from the garage through the laundry room into the kitchen. She now takes her smartphone out of her purse and leaves it charging on the washing machine until her children are in bed. This gives her two to three hours of undistracted presence with her family each evening. Finding routines that work for you requires experimentation and self-knowledge. Crystal Cooper notes, "I started off on a fairly irregular basis, and then it got to a place where I needed to incorporate it every day in the morning or, based on whatever my day was going to be like, I was able to pick 20 minutes, or half an hour, or 15 minutes, just depending on how I was feeling that day." Remember that perfection is not the goal – consistency is. As yoga teachers often remind their students, "It's not yoga perfect; it's yoga practice." When you inevitably miss a day or a week of your routines, don't waste energy on guilt. As mindfulness teacher Michael Gervais teaches the Seattle Seahawks football team, focus on the "next play" rather than dwelling on what you missed. The secret to making routines stick is finding what's in the sweet spot between "easy to do" and "likely to make a difference." As Dr. Myles Spar advises his patients: "Fake it until you make it." Start small, celebrate your wins, and watch how these consistent practices gradually transform your experience of life.

Chapter 7: Align with Your Purpose

At the heart of the mindfulness alternative lies a fundamental question: What's your purpose here, anyway? Without clarity about what truly matters to you, even the best practices and routines can become just another set of tasks, leaving you feeling efficient but empty. Ron Shaich, founder and CEO of Panera Bread, tells a powerful story that illustrates this connection between mindfulness and purpose. One day, a store manager excitedly approached him saying, "Dr. Zwiebel really wanted to meet you. Would you call him?" When Shaich did, the 87-year-old retired doctor shared a remarkable tale: "Four years ago, my wife died after 58 years of marriage. I was just as profoundly sad as any human being could be. Six months after she died, I chose to take my own life. I walked into your Panera store the morning I'd chosen to do it, and the woman behind the counter started flirting with me the way you play with an older gentleman. It made me smile." That simple human connection made Dr. Zwiebel reconsider: "I thought to myself, 'Do I really want to do this? Is there more life left in me?'" He concluded his story by telling Shaich, "I've been coming back to this Panera and talking to these people every day for the last four years. I just want you to know something. Your people, your company saved my life." This encounter compelled Shaich to revisit his own sense of purpose. As he explained, "I'm here because it's the most proper way I know to make a difference." Drawing on lessons from witnessing the deaths of loved ones, Shaich developed a practice of bringing "the future backward" by asking himself, "What is it that I respect? When I stay focused on that, it allows me to ignore a lot of the noise." Spiritual routines help us connect with this deeper sense of purpose through practices of reflection. Kaye Foster Cheek, a longtime senior executive, begins each day with gratitude: "I open my eyes and before I get out of bed, the first thing I do is say, 'Phew, another day. What a gift. Thank you for this breath.'" This moment of awareness sets the tone for how she wants "to show up that day." Another powerful reflective practice is journaling. Harvard Business School professor Teresa Amabile found that keeping a journal "helped me become more mindful about my work and the place of my work in relation to the rest of my life. It's helped me to achieve better balance and see more meaning in my work." She calls these "crystal moments" when things "stand out in clear relief." Per Wingerup and his wife Sian created an extraordinary expression of their purpose when they took their two young daughters out of school for a year to travel around the world. Though they couldn't afford it financially and Per had to resign from a job he loved, they made this choice based on two core values: "One, we refuse for our children to be afraid of the world. There are so many people who are afraid of so many things. Two, we just want them to know it's not right and it's not wrong. It's just different." While such dramatic actions aren't necessary, clarifying your purpose in the three key arenas of life – home, work, and community – provides a compass for your mindfulness practice. At home, this might mean creating the conditions for meaningful connection and growth. At work, it could involve transformational rather than merely transactional outcomes. In your community, it might mean using your unique gifts to serve something larger than yourself. As Ward Mailliard wisely observes, "If you want to be stressed in your life, be attached to the outcome. Instead, do the action for its own sake without worrying about the results. You worry about the quality of what you're doing and your intention." This is the essence of the mindfulness alternative – showing up with awareness and intention in each moment, guided by what matters most.

Summary

The journey from overwhelm to mindfulness is not about achieving perfection or eliminating all stress from your life. Rather, it's about developing the awareness and intention to respond to life's challenges from a place of clarity and purpose rather than reactivity and depletion. As Viktor Frankl wrote after surviving the Holocaust, "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." Your path to freedom from overwhelm begins with a single breath – that moment of pausing to notice what's happening inside and around you before choosing how to respond. From that foundation, you can build practices across all domains of life: physical routines that energize your body, mental habits that clear your thinking, relational approaches that deepen your connections, and spiritual practices that ground you in purpose. Start today by choosing just one routine that sits in the sweet spot between "easy to do" and "likely to make a difference." Remember that small steps, consistently taken, lead to profound transformation. The world doesn't need more exhausted achievers running on empty – it needs your full presence, your unique gifts, and your mindful engagement with what matters most.

About Author

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Scott Eblin

Scott Eblin is the co-founder and president of The Eblin Group, a professional development firm committed to helping executives and managers improve their leadership presence by being fully present. As an executive coach, speaker and author, Scott works with senior and rising leaders in some of the world’s best known and regarded organizations. Scott is the author of two books. Business Book Review described his first book, The Next Level: What Insiders Know About Executive Success as a “fascinating read” that “is full of potentially career-saving advice.” New York Times best selling author Marshall Goldsmith says Scott’s newest book Overworked and Overwhelmed: The Mindfulness Alternative “will fundamentally change how you live each day.” As a former Fortune 500 executive himself, Scott knows the demanding expectations and challenges his clients face. He coaches busy, successful leaders in what he calls the “school of real life” to help them identify the strengths they can build on along with the vital few opportunities that will help them be even better. Scott is an innovator in the field of coaching who has worked with hundreds of clients in individual and group engagements that yield measurable and significant improvements in leadership effectiveness.Scott is an honors graduate of Davidson College, holds a masters degree from Harvard and has earned a Certificate in Leadership Coaching from Georgetown University where he is also on the program faculty. He is also a Registered Yoga Teacher.

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