5 Gears

5 Gears Plot Summary

Introduction

Have you ever caught yourself physically present in a conversation yet mentally miles away? Or found yourself habitually checking emails during family dinner? In our hyper-connected world, genuine presence has become an increasingly rare commodity. We constantly shift between tasks, relationships, and responsibilities, often without the awareness or tools to transition effectively between these different modes of engagement. The challenge we face isn't about having enough time—it's about being fully present in the time we have. When we operate in the wrong mode at the wrong moment, we create disconnection, regardless of our intentions. Whether you're a busy executive, a working parent, or simply someone trying to balance the demands of modern life, mastering the art of presence and connection can transform your relationships, productivity, and overall satisfaction. What follows is a practical framework that will change how you show up in every area of your life, allowing you to be intentionally present when it matters most.

Chapter 1: Understanding Your Gear Order

Understanding how to navigate between different modes of engagement begins with recognizing where you currently spend most of your time. Like a manual transmission car needs the right gear for the right situation, we too need to operate in the appropriate mode for different contexts. The 5 Gears framework provides a concrete language and practical system for understanding how we connect with others and transition between various activities. Steve Cockram, co-creator of this framework, offers insight into his own gear preferences: "I love 4th gear: I enjoy the multifaceted nature of work. I am constantly moving between email, Facebook, iMessage, tasks, phone calls, coffees, and videoconferences. I thrive on variety, autonomy, and the freedom to work from wherever I am." He continues by acknowledging his struggle with other gears: "2nd gear is typically the hardest for me. I find it a challenge to be physically, emotionally, and intellectually present in the ordinariness of family life or less inspiring gatherings!" Each of us has a natural gear order—the modes we gravitate toward and those we find challenging. For many leaders surveyed during the development of this framework, 4th gear (task mode) dominated their daily experience. They moved rapidly from emails to meetings to calls, constantly productive but rarely fully present. One executive described her realization: "After self-assessment, I realized I was in 4th gear almost all of the time, including my time at home. I was continually checking email and conducting business calls after 5:00, and was not devoting enough attention to my son." To understand your own gear order, reflect honestly on where you spend most of your time. Is it in focused work (5th gear)? Multitasking (4th gear)? Social settings (3rd gear)? Deep connection with others (2nd gear)? Or recharging alone (1st gear)? Recognizing your patterns is the first step toward intentional presence. Your gear order often changes under stress as well. As one CEO discovered, moderate stress caused him to lean even more heavily into 4th gear, while extreme stress triggered a retreat into unhealthy isolation. Understanding these tendencies allows you to anticipate and manage transitions more effectively. Most importantly, knowing the gear order of those around you—whether family members, teammates, or friends—creates a foundation for better connection. When you recognize that your introverted colleague needs 1st gear time to recharge while you as an extrovert recharge through social interaction, you can adapt your approach accordingly.

Chapter 2: Shifting into First Gear: The Power of Recharge

First gear represents complete recharge—the essential downtime that restores your energy and focus. Without adequate time in this gear, you'll find yourself running on empty, unable to be fully present in any situation. Yet for many driven professionals, this crucial mode is the most neglected. Consider how Jessica Tingen from Toledo described her realization: "The biggest insight for me from the 5 Gears was that what I thought was rest was not actually restful. I believed that all time away from my full-time job was rest time. When I was asked to order the amount of time I spent in each gear, I actually had a hard time finding any time that I spent in 1st or 2nd gear." As an introvert, Jessica needed solitary recharge time, but had mistakenly categorized all non-work time—including demanding family activities—as rest. Understanding how you personally recharge is crucial, as the process differs significantly between personality types. Steve Cockram explains that "introverts recharge internally, like a battery pack. They need to plug into an energy source directly and recharge on their own from within. Extroverts, on the other hand, are like solar panels: their recharge happens from external power sources, like ideas or people or experiences." For introverts, activities like reading, solitary exercise, or meditation restore energy. Extroverts might recharge through conversations with trusted mentors, group activities, or inspirational experiences. To implement effective recharge in your life, start by identifying activities that truly restore your energy rather than merely distract you. Schedule these activities intentionally, even if it means blocking time on your calendar. One leader described how he builds rest into his year: first blocking off one day each week, then one day a month, followed by a weekend each quarter, and finally scheduled family vacations mixing different modes of connection. Remember that crashing is not the same as recharging. Many people "rest" by binge-watching shows or scrolling social media until they collapse from exhaustion. True recharge leaves you feeling restored and alive, not merely distracted. As one leader noted, "Working from your rest, not resting from your work, is the goal." The benefits of mastering first gear extend far beyond personal wellbeing. When you operate from a place of fullness rather than depletion, you bring your best self to every interaction. Your clarity improves, your patience extends, and your capacity for genuine presence with others expands dramatically.

Chapter 3: Finding Focus in Fifth Gear

Fifth gear represents complete focus—the state of flow where you're fully absorbed in a single task, oblivious to distractions. When properly utilized, this gear enables extraordinary productivity and creativity. Yet many struggle to find this gear or use it effectively in our distraction-filled environment. Jeff, a serial entrepreneur involved in multiple development projects, describes his experience: "I live in this 5th gear/overdrive space (strategic thinking). My managers are constantly in 4th gear because of the variety of work they are involved in and they get pulled into business 3rd gear with homeowners. I keep asking them to meet me in 5th gear when I am on-site, but it feels like they can't get there." The challenge for Jeff was communicating effectively about the different modes and helping his team transition to strategic thinking when needed. For executives, fifth gear often represents strategic planning—working on the business rather than in it. This involves dreaming, vision casting, exploring ideas, and thinking about major changes. The challenge is creating space for this crucial mode in a schedule filled with meetings and immediate demands. Andrew, a leader at Ford Motor Company, discovered that the traditional "open door policy" often undermined his ability to find fifth gear: "The challenge was when I was working on something that required my focus and I was in 'the zone' getting it done. That is when the open door policy created challenges, because not only did an interruption break my concentration, it created an unfair situation for my teammate." His solution was introducing the gear language to his team: "Now, when I am in my 'zone' and a teammate drops by, I hold out my hand and say, 'I'm in 5th gear. Can it wait?'" This created a respectful way to protect focused time without damaging relationships. To effectively incorporate fifth gear into your routine, consider these practical steps: Schedule specific blocks for focused work, communicate clearly with colleagues about when you'll be unavailable, create a visual signal (like a door sign) that indicates you're in fifth gear, and establish a dedicated environment that minimizes distractions. Some leaders find that arriving early, staying late, or working from a different location helps them find the uninterrupted time needed for deep focus. While fifth gear is invaluable for productivity, beware of getting stuck there. Those who remain in overdrive constantly often miss crucial social cues and relationship opportunities. One humorous example occurred at a New York Knicks basketball game, where a fan was so absorbed in watching the game that he completely missed his date trying to get his attention when they appeared on the "kiss cam." The lesson? Fifth gear is powerful, but must be balanced with other modes of engagement.

Chapter 4: Balancing Task Mode in Fourth Gear

Fourth gear represents the multitasking mode where most professionals spend the majority of their time—handling emails, attending meetings, making calls, and completing daily responsibilities. This busy, productive state can be effective when used appropriately, but problematic when it becomes our default setting in all situations. Shelley, described by her manager Mike Oppedahl as "a rock star and like a cruise missile as it pertains to her work," discovered a crucial insight about her fourth gear tendency: "Having been a high performer her entire career, Shelley had never needed to work on increasing her productivity by a significant magnitude. The 5 Gears helped her realize that she thought she was always in 5th gear, but in reality, she lived her leadership life in 4th gear, constantly being interrupted by her teams." As an extrovert who kept her door open throughout the day, she never experienced the deep focus of fifth gear. The impact of constant fourth gear operation extends beyond work efficiency. Dr. Jarrod Spencer, a sports psychologist, explains that our minds function like computers: "At night our minds begin closing and sorting the files that we have opened all day into the proper locations. Those of us who are constantly opening up files without ever fully closing them at the end of the day normally have a harder time sleeping than others." The mental and physical toll of perpetual multitasking accumulates over time. Even more concerning is how fourth gear can invade our personal lives. Elizabeth Paul, a marketing leader and mother of three, realized: "As a woman I have 'work' 4th and 5th gear and 'domestic' 4th and 5th gear. I thought that because I was being disciplined about putting my devices away during the golden family window of 5 to 8 P.M. I wasn't in 4th or 5th gear, when in reality I was just putting on a different task hat." This insight helped her recognize she was lacking true connection and recharge time. To master fourth gear, start by examining how you begin your day. Many professionals check email immediately upon waking, allowing others' priorities to dictate their focus. Instead, establish morning routines that start in first gear, allowing you to recharge before shifting into productivity. Throughout the day, schedule intentional transitions between tasks, using the "58s" (two minutes before each hour) to mentally prepare for upcoming meetings or conversations. Remember that using all gears makes fourth gear more productive. Scheduled fifth gear time helps you complete major projects, while third gear social time builds relationships that make collaboration smoother. First gear recharge provides energy for sustained productivity, and second gear connection ensures your most important relationships remain healthy despite busy schedules.

Chapter 5: Embracing Social Connection in Third Gear

Third gear represents social connection—the casual interactions that build relationships without the depth of intimate connection or the pressure of productivity. This might be lunch with colleagues, a weekend gathering with friends, or simply casual conversation where the goal is enjoyment rather than specific outcomes. For many task-oriented professionals, third gear can feel uncomfortable or unproductive. Yet business often happens most effectively in this relaxed social space. One executive described playing golf with a colleague from Walgreens: "My initial thought of the guy was not bad or good. Frankly, I thought the guy was a bit stiff until he pulled out his driver and began to lose golf balls. He lost 28! He had to borrow eight from me, but in those 18 holes we knew more about each other, laughed our heads off, and began a relationship in business that was fun and easy." Developing curiosity is key to mastering third gear. Simple questions like "Where is your hometown?" or "What do you love to do outside of your work?" can open conversations that reveal unexpected dimensions of the people around you. One leader asked a colleague about his hobbies and was surprised to learn he was passionate about professional wrestling—something completely unexpected based on his professional demeanor. That conversation led to attending a wrestling event together and ultimately years of successful business collaboration. An important insight about third gear comes from understanding conversation preferences. Kate Richards, CEO of Warwick Energy, observed that "people in larger cities tend to talk about and discuss ideas, whereas people in smaller towns often talk about people, places, or things." Recognizing whether someone prefers discussing abstract concepts or concrete details helps you engage more effectively in social settings. For those who struggle with third gear, intentional practice makes a difference. Set simple goals like meeting three new people at an event or finding one person to connect with more deeply. Put away your phone to avoid the temptation to retreat into fourth or fifth gear. Remember that third gear interactions often lead to opportunities for deeper second gear connections or productive fourth gear collaborations. The influence gained through effective social connection is substantial. As one leader noted after intentionally practicing third gear at a gathering of new acquaintances: "Because she engaged fully in 3rd gear, she established herself as a person whom others wanted to get to know as well." This social capital translates into opportunities, trust, and expanded influence that task-focused work alone cannot create.

Chapter 6: Deepening Relationships in Second Gear

Second gear represents deep connection—the intentional, present engagement with another person that builds intimacy and trust. Whether with family, friends, or colleagues, this gear allows for meaningful relationship without the distractions of tasks or social performance. The challenge of second gear is captured poignantly by Josh Nelson's story: "Despite my ability to connect and relate socially, I have a tremendous inability to be present and connect intimately with them and others. To be blunt and honest, I really don't know how to be emotionally present when there is no other agenda involved or area of life for me to gain or prosper." As a socially confident extrovert, Josh was shocked to realize he regularly skipped second gear, especially with his young children. "I wanted so badly to improve and get better in this area, but I honestly didn't know how to because I really didn't know what my problem was." Technology often creates barriers to second gear connection. Ryan Underwood shares how this affected his marriage: "My extroverted bride doesn't see my iPhone as a recharge, but rather as a disrupter, interrupter, and device of rudeness to her, our friends, the girls, and so on. Steve Jobs' beloved device was at one point renamed from the iPhone to the Damn Phone in her vocabulary because of its power over me." The solution came through the gear language: "So, now instead of threatening to break the phone, she kindly asks, 'What gear are we in?' I receive that question so much better and she gets the response that she wants, which is me saying '2nd gear' and then putting the phone away." For families struggling with constant device distraction, Debbie Correa found similar relief: "We all went around in circles being frustrated with each other because of the addiction to our phones that we all shared. 5 Gears is changing how we communicate as a family. All I have to say is '2nd gear' and I can get their attention and we all can adjust accordingly." Learning to transition into second gear requires practice. Start by creating dedicated time for connection—whether a weekly date night, daily family dinner without devices, or regular one-on-one meetings with team members. Truly listen rather than planning your next statement. Be authentic rather than forcing conversation. Give yourself fully to the interaction, even if only for fifteen minutes of complete presence. The benefits of mastering second gear extend far beyond the immediate relationship. When you're truly present with others, you build trust that enhances all interactions. As Tom Nebel discovered with his adult son, establishing clear expectations about being in second gear during their time together transformed their relationship: "It reminds me of the old western movies, when the cowboys would take their guns off at the saloon and put them in the middle of the table. There will be no aggression here—only camaraderie."

Chapter 7: Creating Intentional Transitions Between Gears

Mastering each individual gear is important, but the true art lies in transitioning smoothly between them. Like learning to drive a manual transmission car, shifting between modes of engagement requires practice, awareness, and eventually becomes intuitive. Chad, an executive director of a national cooperative association, recognized his challenge in transitioning: "Despite my ability to connect and relate socially, I have a tremendous inability to be present and connect intimately with them and others." His solution was "putting the clutch in" between different engagements. "On the way to and from a meeting in his office complex, Chad is choosing to stop, even if it is just for 30 seconds, for a bit of 3rd gear engagement in the doorways of different colleagues." These brief moments of connection created a bridge between his task-focused work and the relationships that sustained his organization. Creating trigger points or markers proves extraordinarily effective for transitions. One executive describes using a gas station sign two miles from home as his "drop zone"—the point where he would end work calls and mentally prepare to engage with his family. Another leader used her neighborhood entrance as the place to put her phone away. Tim in Wisconsin shared: "I have a place I go past every day on my way home that reminds me to start downshifting so I am in 2nd gear [when I arrive]." For parents working from home, time markers can serve the same purpose. Setting specific hours for transitions helps children understand when you're available: "Ok guys, it's nine A.M., let's get into our project or school (4th gear)" or "Who's ready to play before I start dinner? (shifting to 3rd/2nd gear)." Visual signals can reinforce transitions in work environments. Ray Griffin's team implemented an "office door awareness idea. If their door is open, it is 3rd or 4th gear. If the door is cracked open then they are in 4th and if the door is closed then they are in full 5th gear." This simple system eliminated confusion and frustration about interruptions. The language of the gears provides an objective way to communicate about transitions. Michael Lukasewski, CEO of Church Fuel, notes how this transformed family communication: "Creating a vocabulary for Jennie and me to use allowed us to have conversations without being defensive. 'Hey babe, let's get into 2nd gear' is way better than saying, 'You need to be present with the kids.' The language creates objective language instead of subjective judgment." In crisis situations, this framework proves particularly valuable. One leader described handling an urgent work situation while on a day off with his wife: "I was able to say, 'I have to go into 5th gear, but I will get back to 2nd gear in about two hours.' She understood, I understood, and it just made it easier to communicate and respond fully to the crisis and then to return fully to our time together." The key to successful transitions is intentionality—consciously choosing which gear you need to be in rather than operating on autopilot. Tim Curry from Oxford describes his process: "'Depressing the clutch' has become an intentional five-minute moment for me in between appointments and at the start of the day where I literally decide how I need to shift gears in the coming hours of the day. It has worked well at work and my wife and I have spoken about how we make sure we make more use of our weekends to talk about how we will spend our time and what we commit to."

Summary

Throughout this exploration of presence and productivity, we've discovered that the art of connection isn't about having more time—it's about being fully present in the time we have. The 5 Gears framework provides a practical language and system for mastering different modes of engagement: recharging in first gear, connecting deeply in second, being social in third, accomplishing tasks in fourth, and focusing intensely in fifth. As Matt Keen reflected after implementing this approach: "I now try and make sure that each week I get away from my desk and go to one of the many churches in the City of London to listen to an organ recital. That time alone, in a beautiful place, listening to beautiful music, helps me to relax, focus, and recharge. Recharging makes you more productive, more creative, and happier so those around me now understand that if they want me to bring my best, then I also need that time alone to recharge." Your challenge now is to assess your current gear order and identify where you need more balance. Start by selecting one specific transition point in your day—perhaps your morning routine, your commute home, or the start of family time—and create an intentional practice for shifting gears effectively. Remember that mastering presence isn't about perfection but practice. Each conscious shift brings you closer to being fully present when it matters most.

About Author

Loading...

Jeremie Kubicek

Read more

Related Books by Jeremie Kubicek

Loading...

5 Voices

Jeremie Kubicek

How to Communicate Effectively with Everyone You Lead

★★★½☆3.9