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Kelsey faces a heart-wrenching dilemma following the tragic loss of her identical twin, Michelle. The only person unaware of this devastating event is Michelle's boyfriend, Peter, who is stationed in Afghanistan. As Kelsey reaches out to Peter online, her heart aches at the thought of shattering his fragile world. The harsh realities of war have worn him down, and believing Kelsey to be Michelle is his sole anchor. In an impulsive decision, Kelsey allows the illusion to persist, finding herself entangled in a web of deceit and unexpected emotions. As her feelings for Peter deepen, she must navigate the blurred lines between pretense and genuine love, confronting the impossible choice between truth and desire.

Categories

Fiction, Military Fiction, Romance, Young Adult, Family, Contemporary, Realistic Fiction, Contemporary Romance, New Adult, Young Adult Contemporary

Content Type

Book

Binding

Hardcover

Year

2015

Publisher

Poppy

Language

English

ASIN

0316283681

ISBN

0316283681

ISBN13

9780316283687

File Download

PDF | EPUB

A Million Miles Away Plot Summary

Introduction

The doorbell cut through the evening silence like a blade. Kelsey Maxfield froze at the mantelpiece, her fingers still adjusting the jade Buddha statues she'd hastily returned to their proper place. The party debris was gone, the beer smell masked with vanilla candles, but something felt wrong. No one used their doorbell except UPS and Jehovah's Witnesses. When her mother opened the screen door, a policeman stood there with his hands crossed in front of him, his presence filling the doorway like a shadow. "Is this the home of Michelle Maxfield?" The words hung in the air, heavy with unspoken tragedy. Her father reached for Kelsey's hand as her mother's small frame seemed to shrink against the officer's uniform. "You may want to take a seat. There's been an accident." This is the story of twin sisters whose lives diverged in the cruelest way possible, and how love, loss, and desperate deception can blur the line between honoring the dead and deceiving the living. It's about a girl who lost herself trying to keep her sister alive, and a soldier thousands of miles away who became the bridge between grief and healing.

Chapter 1: The Shattered Mirror: Michelle's Death and Kelsey's Fractured Identity

The Maxfield house had always been a symphony of twin chaos. Kelsey, the golden dancer with her tight buns and team captain confidence, lived in beautiful opposition to Michelle, the mermaid-haired artist who painted their Kansas neighborhood in impossible neon colors. They were identical in face but opposite in soul, and that opposition had always defined them both. The night everything changed started like any other. Kelsey threw a party while their parents visited wineries, Michelle disappeared with her mysterious boyfriend Peter, and the house filled with the familiar sounds of teenage excess. Peter was different from Michelle's usual artistic strays, a sandy-haired soldier on leave who spoke with quiet intensity about art and meaning. When Kelsey met him in her kitchen the morning after, making bacon with careful precision, she glimpsed something that unsettled her. He looked at Michelle the way people looked at sunrises, like witnessing something miraculous. But Michelle never came home from the airport after dropping him off. Eight hours passed like eight years. The police officer's words hit like physical blows: Michelle's car had veered off K-10 on her way back from Kansas City International. The bleeding had been mostly internal. She was gone. The funeral became a blur of wrong details. They used Michelle's school photo, the one she hated where her long hair made her look naked. People wrote messages to someone they'd barely known, calling her "Michele" and "favorite wandering soul." Kelsey couldn't cry. She could only feel the crushing weight of incompleteness, like half her soul had been surgically removed without anesthesia. Standing in the receiving line, holding her six-year-old cousin's warm hand, Kelsey realized the terrible mathematics of being a surviving twin. Everyone who looked at her now saw a ghost. Their faces would tighten with pity and look away, as if her existence was a cruel reminder of what was lost. Try looking in the mirror every morning, she wanted to tell them. The person staring back had Michelle's nose, Michelle's eyes, Michelle's everything – but Michelle would never look back.

Chapter 2: Reflections in the Screen: The Birth of a Desperate Deception

Grief support groups filled their living room with folding chairs and broken voices. "Learning to Live and Love Again," they chanted before every meeting, like zombies practicing resurrection. Kelsey escaped whenever she could, driving aimlessly through Lawrence until the familiar streets felt foreign. She wasn't herself anymore, couldn't be herself, because being herself had always meant being not-Michelle. That's when she found Peter's postcard mixed in with unopened mail. "At the airport in Maine," it read. "On the plane out tomorrow. Love, Peter." He didn't know. Somehow, impossibly, he didn't know that the person he loved was ash and memory. The Army Recruiting Station was a dead end. Without Peter's last name, he might as well have been a ghost himself. But Kelsey discovered something else: Michelle's laptop, forgotten in her room like everything else that made her real. The Skype notification came like a message from another world. Peter's face filled the screen, sun-weathered and desperate, his eyes lighting up at what he thought was Michelle. "I missed you," he said, and Kelsey's heart broke for him. She should have told him immediately. The words were there, simple and devastating: Michelle is dead. But seeing his smile, hearing the relief in his voice after months of fear and violence, she couldn't destroy him. Not yet. She would tell him soon, she promised herself. When the right moment came. But the right moment never came because talking to Peter felt like talking to Michelle. Through his eyes, her sister was still alive, still painting, still making terrible jokes about the Renaissance Fair. For twenty minutes, Kelsey could pretend that death was just distance, that love could bridge any gap. When Peter sang to her through static connection, playing guitar in his tent somewhere in Afghanistan, she remembered what it felt like to be whole. The first lie was silence. The second was answering to Michelle's name. By the third Skype call, Kelsey was studying her sister's paintings, reading her books, learning to write in her looping handwriting. She became an archaeologist of her own twin, excavating Michelle's passions to keep her ghost dancing for the boy who loved her. It was wrong, she knew it was wrong, but it felt more right than letting Peter's heart shatter in some desert foxhole where he needed to stay strong to survive.

Chapter 3: Dance of Duplicity: Letters, Love, and Paris in Spring

The deception grew like a living thing. Kelsey found Michelle's email password – "BillyBear," after her childhood stuffed lizard that everyone else saw as a bear because Michelle always saw the world differently. Reading their correspondence was like watching a love story through frosted glass. Peter's letters were raw with longing and fear, Michelle's responses full of artistic observations and gentle teasing about his Elvis impressions. Learning to be Michelle meant learning to love differently. Where Kelsey was direct and physical, Michelle was thoughtful and quirky. She spoke French, understood Cubism, could discuss Andy Warhol's soup cans like they were windows into the human soul. Kelsey threw herself into Advanced Placement Art History, earning her first A+ paper while her real identity dissolved like sugar in rain. Peter's letters from Afghanistan painted pictures of impossible beauty and casual horror. He wrote about New Zealand soldiers with musical accents and the way village children asked for chocolate. But between the lines, Kelsey could read his growing desperation, the way war was rewiring his nervous system. When his best friend Sam was killed by a roadside bomb, Peter's next Skype call showed a man barely holding himself together. That's when he invited Michelle to Paris. Three days of leave, a chance to be human again before returning to hell. Kelsey knew she should confess everything, but seeing Peter's need stripped away every rational thought. Using Michelle's passport, she flew across the Atlantic to meet a ghost of herself. Paris transformed their digital relationship into something achingly real. Peter was taller than she'd expected, his laugh richer, his hands warm when he spun her around at Charles de Gaulle Airport. They climbed the Eiffel Tower, danced in dark cafés, wandered through Shakespeare and Company while Kelsey pretended to read French and tried not to drown in feelings that belonged to someone else's identity. On their last night, Peter told her he loved her. Not Michelle – her. The person who made terrible jokes and danced with abandon and looked at Notre Dame like it was the first cathedral ever built. Kelsey realized with terrifying clarity that she loved him too, completely and permanently. But he was falling in love with a ghost, and she was falling in love while wearing a dead girl's face.

Chapter 4: Unmasking: The Video Confession and Peter's Return

Back in Kansas, guilt ate Kelsey alive. Her best friend Gillian discovered the truth by accident and confronted her with righteous fury. "You're playing with fire," Gillian warned, but Kelsey was already burning. She tried to end it, tried to craft breakup letters as Michelle, but every time she saw Peter's face on her screen – exhausted, haunted, holding onto their love like a lifeline in the chaos of war – she couldn't pull the trigger. Senior year blurred past in a haze of secret calls and borrowed identity. Kelsey broke up with her longtime boyfriend Davis, performed with her dance team, and graduated while living a double life that was slowly poisoning everything real about her existence. Her parents planned a graduation party, hope flickering in their eyes as they watched their surviving daughter seemingly heal. But Peter was coming home early. His mother had suffered a stroke, and he'd been granted emergency leave. The reunion at the hospital was a masterclass in awkward deception. Kelsey met Peter's family as Michelle, shaking hands with his parents and sister while her real name stuck in her throat like broken glass. They were good people, kind people, and she was lying to their faces during the worst crisis of their lives. That night at Peter's house, sharing his childhood bed while his mother fought for her life one room over, Kelsey finally understood the full weight of her deception. This wasn't just about protecting Peter anymore. She'd built an entire false world, complete with relationships and memories and futures that could never exist. Every moment of happiness was stolen from the person she was actually becoming. In desperation, she recorded a video confession on her laptop, twenty minutes of raw truth about Michelle's death, the months of lies, and the love that had grown real despite its poisoned roots. She mailed it to Peter's base, thinking it would find him eventually. But mail doesn't always reach soldiers in war zones, and digital confessions can disappear into bureaucratic void. When Peter called after returning to Afghanistan, the connection was terrible, his words chopped up by static and distance. She thought he said he'd received the video, thought he said he understood. But hearts hear what they desperately need to hear, and Kelsey's heart was already broken from the weight of carrying two identities across an ocean of lies.

Chapter 5: Beyond the Reflection: Finding Kelsey After Michelle

Peter's early return from deployment arrived like lightning splitting a summer sky. The graduation party was perfect – red and blue balloons, family friends, the future spreading out like a promised land. Then Peter walked into the backyard in his dress blues, holding roses and searching for Michelle in a crowd that only held Kelsey. The recognition hit like cold water. He'd never received the video. Every word he'd spoken about understanding and forgiveness had been about bad internet connection, not about her confession. Standing in her parents' living room surrounded by deflated balloons, Kelsey watched Peter read Michelle's funeral program with the dawning horror of a man realizing he'd been in love with a ghost. "She died?" The question came out like a child's, innocent and devastating. "How am I supposed to forgive you?" The boy who'd sung her Portuguese love songs in a Paris café looked at her like she was something poisonous, something that had infected his life with beautiful lies. He left without looking back, and Kelsey collapsed under the weight of finally being seen for who she really was. Her mother found her on the couch hours later, still in her graduation dress, clutching Michelle's funeral program like evidence of her own crime. For the first time since Michelle's death, Melody Maxfield held her surviving daughter while they both wept. Not the controlled grief of support groups, but the raw, animal sound of loss finally acknowledged. "That was not the right thing to do," her mother made her repeat at the river where they'd scattered Michelle's ashes. "It was selfish. It was cruel." But between the accusations came forgiveness: "You are a wonderful young woman who was a little mixed up. And I wasn't there when you needed me most." They bought ice cream at seven in the morning and ate it on the bridge, two broken people learning how to be whole again. The Rock Chalk Dancers audition became Kelsey's final performance as someone she didn't want to be anymore. Standing on the 50-yard line of Memorial Stadium, she executed every move perfectly, her smile plastered on like war paint. But watching the other dancers – identical in their Technicolor makeup, numbered like products on an assembly line – she realized this wasn't art. It was manufacturing. She walked off the field mid-routine, tearing off her number, finally understanding what Michelle had been trying to show her in all those neon paintings. Art wasn't about perfection. It was about making people look twice, see something familiar in a new way, feel something they'd forgotten they could feel.

Chapter 6: Release and Reunion: Scattering Ashes and Beginning Anew

Peter's sister Meg became an unlikely messenger. She'd intercepted Kelsey's video confession when it was rerouted to their home base, watched it in secret, and carried the burden of truth through family dinners and hospital visits. When Kelsey drove to El Dorado for one last desperate attempt at reconciliation, Meg pressed the envelope into her hands with the solemnity of a peace treaty. "You and my brother are good together," the fifteen-year-old said, and Kelsey marveled at how wisdom could come from the most unexpected sources. But Peter's mother stood guard at their front door like an avenging angel, her blue eyes blazing with protective fury. "Get the picture?" Cathy Farrow commanded. "Stay away from my son." The rejection felt like justice and devastation in equal measure. Kelsey had earned this exile through her months of beautiful lies, but earning punishment didn't make it hurt less. She threw the video confession back at Meg and drove away, ready to disappear into a future that held no Peter-shaped space. Paris called to her again, not as Michelle's ghost but as herself. She deferred college, cashed in her graduation money, and booked a flight to Charles de Gaulle. This time she'd see the city through her own eyes, maybe take dance classes, maybe learn to paint. She'd become the kind of person who could create beauty instead of just performing other people's choreography. But love doesn't follow logic, and redemption doesn't wait for convenient timing. As Kelsey packed her suitcase with clothes that belonged only to her, she heard voices on the front porch. Peter sat on their swing holding her video confession, his face softer than she'd seen it since Paris. "Did you mean all of it?" he asked, and Kelsey's heart performed gymnastic routines behind her ribs. Every word, she told him. Every impossible, desperate, true word about loving him permanently, about being sorry in ways that multiplied like reflections in opposing mirrors. "I'm sorry too," Peter said, and Kelsey understood that forgiveness could be as simple as two broken people deciding to be broken together instead of apart. "Hi, I'm Peter," he said, holding out his hand like they were meeting for the first time. "Hi, Peter," she replied, taking it. "I'm Kelsey."

Summary

Twin Shadows illuminates the terrible mathematics of surviving when half your identity dies with someone else. Kelsey Maxfield's journey from grief-stricken sister to accomplished deceiver to finally herself reveals how love can drive us to create elaborate fictions while searching for authentic connection. Her months-long impersonation of Michelle wasn't just about protecting Peter from devastating news; it was about keeping her sister alive in the one place where death couldn't reach – in the heart of someone who loved her completely. The novel's genius lies in its unflinching examination of how we construct identity through relationship and loss. Kelsey discovers that becoming Michelle taught her who Kelsey really was – not the golden dancer performing other people's choreography, but an artist capable of making people look twice at familiar things. Peter's love, though misdirected, became the catalyst for her own self-discovery. Through learning Michelle's passions, Kelsey found her own voice. Through nearly losing Peter, she learned the difference between performing love and living it. In the end, the story suggests that some deceptions are acts of love so desperate they transcend morality. Kelsey's lies gave Peter months of hope during his darkest hours and gave her a roadmap to becoming the person Michelle always saw in her. The ashes scattered in the Kansas River carry both sisters into the future – Michelle in memory, Kelsey in living flesh, both finally free to become who they were always meant to be. Sometimes the most profound truth emerges from the most beautiful lie.

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Lara Avery Avatar

Lara Avery

Avery situates her narratives at the intersection of grief and personal growth, examining how individuals navigate the complexities of identity and relationships in the aftermath of loss. Her work delves into emotional landscapes, revealing the transformative power of love and resilience. For example, in her adult debut, "The Year of Second Chances", she was inspired by a New York Times column to explore how widowed individuals reconcile past memories with future possibilities. Avery's nuanced approach to storytelling reflects her broader commitment to understanding emotional depth, while her exploration of identity is a consistent thread throughout her oeuvre.\n\nBeyond traditional novels, Avery extends her reach into various genres and media. Her versatility is evident in her young adult books, such as "The Memory Book" and "A Million Miles Away", which showcase her ability to address complex themes in accessible ways. She also writes branching narrative games for FoxNext, illustrating her skill in interactive storytelling. Her articles and essays appear in esteemed publications like the San Francisco Chronicle and Good Housekeeping, further solidifying her reputation as a thoughtful and engaging writer. Readers drawn to emotional depth and transformation will find Avery's works both challenging and rewarding, as they offer insights into human resilience.\n\nAvery has garnered recognition for her contributions to literature, with accolades like the 2017 Minnesota Book Award for "The Memory Book". Moreover, her achievements include a 2020 AWP Intro Journals Honorable Mention and residencies at prestigious artist centers. These honors affirm her impact and dedication to her craft. This brief bio highlights how Avery’s work not only entertains but also fosters a deeper understanding of emotional and personal dynamics, making her an influential figure in contemporary literature.

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