Be Obsessed or Be Average

Be Obsessed or Be Average Plot Summary

Introduction

In the realm of modern success stories, few narratives are as compelling as that of Grant Cardone. Rising from the depths of personal tragedy and addiction to become a titan of entrepreneurship and sales, Cardone embodies the relentless pursuit of excellence that defines true achievers. Born into a middle-class family and losing his father at the tender age of ten, Cardone's journey took him through the darkest valleys of drug addiction in his twenties before he transformed his life through what he describes as his greatest asset: obsession. Today, Grant Cardone stands as a billionaire real estate mogul, sales training expert, and one of the most influential business voices of our time. His philosophy challenges conventional wisdom about work-life balance, moderation, and satisfaction with mediocrity. Through his journey, readers will discover how embracing obsession rather than fighting it can become the catalyst for extraordinary success, how turning limiting beliefs into fuel for achievement can transform one's life, and how persistence in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds is the true hallmark of greatness. Cardone's story isn't just about financial achievement—it's a testament to the human capacity for reinvention and the power of channeling one's most intense drives toward positive outcomes.

Chapter 1: Obsession Saved My Life: Overcoming Early Struggles

Grant Cardone's early life was marked by tragedy when his father passed away when he was just ten years old. This devastating loss transformed his family's circumstances overnight. From living in a spacious lakefront property, they suddenly found themselves downsizing to a modest house in the city. His mother, now a widow with five children and limited income-earning potential, lived in constant fear of financial ruin. This environment of scarcity and anxiety formed Cardone's earliest impressions about money and success. As a teenager, Cardone rebelled against his circumstances. He often clashed with his mother, declaring, "When I grow up, I'm going to get rich so I never have to worry about not having enough money." While his mother urged gratitude for what they had, young Grant found himself increasingly frustrated with the limitations of middle-class thinking. This friction between contentment and ambition would become a defining tension throughout his life. Without strong mentorship and consumed by frustration, Cardone's path took a dark turn. By his early twenties, he had developed a severe drug problem that threatened to destroy his life. Despite graduating from college with an accounting degree, he found himself twenty pounds underweight with a gray complexion, working a dead-end job at a car dealership, and deeply addicted to drugs. The situation deteriorated further when he was beaten nearly to death, requiring seventy-five stitches to his face—yet even this traumatic experience wasn't enough to break his addiction. The turning point came when Cardone was twenty-five. After showing up intoxicated at his mother's house, she delivered an ultimatum: "Don't come around here anymore until you get your life together." Shortly thereafter, Cardone checked himself into a rehabilitation facility. Though the program gave him temporary sobriety, the parting words from his counselor were devastating: "You'll never make it. You are a defective person with an addictive personality. The most successful thing you can do with your life is never use again. Drop all your grandiose ideas of money, fame, and success." Instead of accepting this limiting prognosis, Cardone made a pivotal decision that would change the trajectory of his life. He realized that denying his obsessive nature had led him to destructive behavior. Rather than fighting his obsessions, he decided to channel them toward positive goals. The night after leaving rehab, he sat at his kitchen table and wrote down his ambitions: to make his family proud, to become a respected businessman, to become wealthy, and to help others. He committed to redirecting all his obsessive energy toward rebuilding his life. Returning to the car dealership where he worked, Cardone threw himself completely into mastering sales. He arrived an hour before everyone else, stayed late, listened to sales training during his commute, and immersed himself in self-improvement. Within a year, he had transformed into a top-performing salesperson. His obsession with success—once considered his greatest liability—had become his salvation and the foundation for everything he would later achieve.

Chapter 2: Breaking Free from Average Thinking

The epidemic of average thinking is a societal disease that Grant Cardone identified early in his journey toward success. He observed a disturbing pattern: most people in the shrinking middle class set their sights on merely getting by rather than truly thriving. Statistics paint a grim picture—76 percent of Americans living paycheck to paycheck, over half the population on some form of government assistance, and nearly 70 percent disengaged at their jobs. This culture of mediocrity had become so pervasive that challenging it made Cardone appear radical, when in fact he was simply refusing to accept limitations others had normalized. Average thinking manifests in familiar phrases Cardone encountered repeatedly: "Slow down," "Life is to be enjoyed," "Don't work too hard," "Take it easy," "Be grateful—someone else is worse off than you," "Money isn't everything." These platitudes, often delivered with good intentions, serve primarily to justify others' decision to settle for less than their potential. Cardone recognized that people who try to persuade you to give up on your dreams aren't trying to help you—they're trying to make sense of why they gave up on their own. The modern world compounds this problem through endless distractions. Between social media consumption, streaming entertainment, and the 24/7 news cycle, people are bombarded with stimuli that keep them in spectator mode rather than creator mode. As Cardone puts it, "With this much distraction coming at you nonstop, the chance for success is slight." He realized that breaking free from average required tuning out both the external noise and the chorus of well-meaning voices urging moderation. Cardone's approach to combating average thinking starts with permission to want it all. Unlike conventional wisdom that suggests focusing on one area of life at the expense of others, Cardone advocates for success across all dimensions—health, wealth, family, spirituality, recreation, and the time to enjoy it all. "Why settle for one color when you can have the rainbow?" he asks. This expansive vision requires embracing obsession rather than tempering ambition. The ultimate antidote to average thinking, according to Cardone, is connecting with your true obsessions. He emphasizes that "obsession is the only option" for those seeking extraordinary results. Obsession, properly channeled, isn't a character defect but the engine of achievement. Throughout history, from Steve Jobs to Muhammad Ali, Martin Luther King Jr. to Oprah Winfrey, the truly influential have been united by their unwavering dedication to their vision—their healthy obsession with making their dreams reality despite obstacles and criticism. To break free from average thinking requires understanding that "there is no such thing as part-time obsession." The greatest achievements in business, art, science, and humanitarian work come from those willing to commit totally to their vision. Cardone urges readers to abandon half-measures and embrace the die-trying mentality that distinguishes the legendary from the forgotten. After all, he notes, "There isn't a single person we both know the name of who wasn't obsessed."

Chapter 3: Discovering Purpose and Fueling Obsession

Finding and fueling a meaningful obsession requires first understanding your purpose—the "why" behind your actions and ambitions. For Cardone, purpose is not merely about passion or enjoyment. He recalls watching his father meticulously picking up yard debris as a child and asking, "Dad, do you like doing that?" His father replied with wisdom that would later shape Cardone's philosophy: "You don't always need to like what you do to love what you do." This insight helped Cardone understand that meaningful work isn't always immediately pleasurable—it's about serving a deeper purpose. To discover what truly drives you, Cardone developed a comprehensive self-interrogation process. His method involves asking yourself penetrating questions across multiple life domains: personal interests ("What excites me now?"), money motivation ("What am I willing to do for no money?"), skills and talents ("What can I do better than anyone?"), market research ("What product or service have I complained about repeatedly?"), legacy ("What do I want to be remembered for?"), inspiring people ("Who are five successful people I admire?"), lifestyle ("What makes me feel good?"), and hypothetical scenarios ("If I knew I couldn't fail, what would I do?"). The answers to these questions reveal patterns and consistencies that point toward your authentic obsessions. Cardone emphasizes that you don't need to reduce your purpose to a single statement—you have the capacity to be obsessed with many things simultaneously. Your purpose is what constitutes a complete life for you, and giving yourself permission to pursue these obsessions is the first critical step. A key tool for maintaining focus on your purpose is Cardone's daily goal practice. Each morning and evening, he writes down his goals—not as things he wants but as achievements already accomplished. "I have $4 billion in real estate holdings," he might write, even when his actual holdings are a tenth of that amount. These aren't wishful affirmations but powerful directives that orient his attention and actions. Importantly, the goals should always feel slightly out of reach, pulling you forward into new possibilities. Cardone understands that purpose isn't static—it evolves as you grow and achieve. "All of life is a transition," he notes, and those who make the biggest difference know how to keep updating and refocusing their obsession as they mature and as conditions change. This requires regularly revisiting your goals and purpose, ensuring they remain vibrant and challenging rather than comfortable and limiting. The ultimate power of purpose is that it provides direction and meaning when life feels overwhelming or uncertain. Without a clear sense of purpose fueling your obsessions, it's easy to feel lost, bored, or depressed. With it, you gain the inspiration to persist through challenges and continue growing toward your full potential. As Cardone puts it, "Purpose keeps me from spending a lifetime wandering planet Earth without direction."

Chapter 4: The Sales Mindset: Dominate to Win

For Grant Cardone, sales isn't just a department or career path—it's the lifeblood of any successful business and the ultimate test of one's ability to create value. "Sales affects everything: every person, every company, every industry, and entire economies," he insists. Companies don't die because of poor manufacturing, inadequate research, or lack of ideas—they die because they fail to sell their products in sufficient quantities at profitable prices. This fundamental reality makes mastery of sales essential for anyone pursuing extraordinary success. Cardone approaches sales with an unusual philosophy that contradicts conventional wisdom. Rather than "underpromising and overdelivering," he advocates for boldly overpromising and then rising to meet those ambitious claims. Making giant, attention-grabbing claims isn't unethical when backed by genuine commitment to deliver exceptional results. "When I overpromise, I am obligated to rise to the occasion and deliver," he explains. This approach creates a productive tension that drives innovation and excellence. The heart of Cardone's sales mindset is complete belief in one's product or service. He poses challenging questions to test this commitment: "Do I love my product?" "Do I own my own product?" "Should people go into debt for my product?" If you can't answer yes to such questions, you're not fully sold yourself, which inevitably undermines your ability to persuade others. Conviction precedes conversion—your customers will never be more enthusiastic about your offering than you are. Accountability drives results in Cardone's approach to sales. He's ruthless about tracking metrics and holding both himself and his team responsible for outcomes. "Numbers don't lie; people lie," he states bluntly. For critical numbers like sales and new customer acquisition, he demands hourly reports. This level of monitoring isn't micromanagement but rather the appropriate attention for activities central to business survival and growth. As he puts it, "If you funded a $200 million blockbuster movie, on opening day you would want a report every hour." Daily sales meetings, regardless of company size, create the rhythm and focus necessary for consistent performance. Even solopreneurs should hold personal sales meetings to set goals, review metrics, and maintain momentum. The purpose isn't lengthy training but rather getting "focused, motivated, and off to a good start" before engaging with customers. During these meetings, Cardone emphasizes mastering one thing at a time—building certainty through repetition rather than attempting to implement multiple tactics simultaneously. Perhaps most importantly, Cardone leads by example—physically demonstrating the persistence and confidence he expects from his team. He regularly takes on the most challenging prospects, calling customers who have previously refused to buy while his sales team watches. "I am never moderate or conservative when selling, marketing, or branding," he states. This dominate-to-win mindset creates a culture where extraordinary effort becomes the standard, mediocrity is intolerable, and results consistently exceed expectations.

Chapter 5: Building an Empire: From Persistence to Success

Persistence is the essential quality that transforms ambition into achievement—a principle Grant Cardone embodies to his core. In the early days of his first business venture, Cardone faced rejection at every turn. Making hundreds of cold calls daily and flying across the country to meet potential clients who often wouldn't even see him, he found himself on the verge of quitting countless times. "Three weeks past most people's breaking point, I was still making hundreds of calls a day," he recalls. What kept him going were the stories of successful people who had faced similar resistance—Walt Disney being turned down 302 times for financing, Oprah Winfrey being told she was unfit for television, Henry Ford's first two car companies failing. Cardone's persistence eventually paid off during a pivotal trip to Salt Lake City—a destination he chose almost randomly after seeing a license plate from that city during a moment of deep discouragement. After more days of difficult calls and rejections, something finally clicked. He made more money in those two weeks than in the previous two years combined. This "miracle moment" occurred not because of luck but because Cardone refused to quit when others would have surrendered. "Those who are truly obsessed are willing to persist when it no longer makes sense," he observes. Empire-building requires not just persistence but strategic risk-taking with investments. Contrary to conventional financial wisdom advocating diversification, Cardone aligns himself with investor Mark Cuban's philosophy: "Diversification is for idiots." Following Andrew Carnegie's advice to "put all your eggs in one basket and then watch that basket," Cardone concentrates his resources where he has expertise rather than spreading them thin. This approach demands courage but creates the focus necessary for exponential growth. Cardone's real estate empire exemplifies this principle. Starting with a modest goal of owning twenty apartment units, he persisted through five years of weekend property shopping before purchasing his first 48-unit property. Within three years, he owned 500 units. Today, his portfolio exceeds 4,500 units worth hundreds of millions of dollars. Each success became the foundation for the next, with goals constantly expanding to match his growing capabilities and vision. Technology adoption plays a crucial role in Cardone's empire-building strategy. When new platforms emerge, he immediately embraces them rather than waiting to see how they develop. When Periscope and Facebook's video-streaming services launched, he began streaming daily to audiences who didn't yet know him. Within three months, he ranked among the top five streamers globally. This willingness to be an early adopter has repeatedly given him competitive advantages in reaching new markets. Perhaps most counterintuitively, Cardone believes in "getting it done, then getting it right." Perfectionism, he argues, is merely procrastination in disguise. He wrote his first book, Sell or Be Sold, in just three hours and self-published it despite grammatical errors and run-on sentences. After four editions, these issues were corrected, and the book won recognition as one of the best sales books of all time. Meanwhile, critics who pointed out the initial flaws had never published anything themselves. This commitment to action over perfection has been the cornerstone of Cardone's empire-building philosophy: "Better to fall facing forward than to never try at all because you want your first attempt to be perfect."

Chapter 6: Leadership Philosophy: Controlling Your Destiny

Grant Cardone doesn't mince words when it comes to leadership: "I am a control freak. I love control, demand control, lust for it, and make sure I have it." While the term "control freak" typically carries negative connotations, Cardone proudly embraces it, arguing that "the only people who don't like control are those who don't have it or who have misused it in the past." For him, leadership isn't about popularity or consensus-building—it's about taking decisive action to ensure results. Control, in Cardone's view, is fundamentally about taking responsibility rather than exercising dominance over others. He believes most organizations suffer not from too much control but from too little, with managers who refuse to make decisions without first checking whether their teams will "buy in." True leaders aren't afraid to set a clear direction, establish standards, and hold people accountable for meeting them. They understand that leadership isn't granted through titles but claimed through action and results. Cardone never waits for permission to take control—he simply assumes it when necessary. "I have never been 'given' control—I have just taken it," he explains. This approach allows him to respond decisively to challenges rather than waiting for bureaucratic approval processes. When problems arise, his immediate response is "I got this!" rather than deferring responsibility or seeking consensus. As he puts it, "It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission." A crucial aspect of Cardone's leadership philosophy is maintaining constant awareness of what's happening in all areas of his business. He monitors key metrics obsessively, reviews recorded sales calls, and sometimes listens in on live calls without his team's knowledge. This level of involvement isn't about micromanagement but rather about having accurate, unfiltered information. "I refuse to assume anything," he explains, "because anyone who does will be sorry later." The effectiveness of Cardone's leadership approach is evident in how he builds high-performing teams. Rather than hiring based on traditional credentials, he seeks people who share his obsession with success—individuals willing to "jump off buildings, run through walls, and believe they can fly" for the mission. He's ruthless about removing those who don't fit this profile, believing that "every time we let someone go, I consider that a good thing. It means we are not settling and won't be held hostage by average." Underlying Cardone's leadership philosophy is a simple premise: those who control their destiny achieve their goals, while those who abdicate control become victims of circumstance. By establishing clear expectations, monitoring results, making quick decisions, and building teams of like-minded achievers, he creates environments where extraordinary success becomes not just possible but inevitable. In a world where most leaders hesitate to fully assert control, Cardone's willingness to do so has become one of his greatest competitive advantages.

Summary

Grant Cardone's extraordinary journey from addiction and near-destruction to billion-dollar success offers a powerful blueprint for anyone seeking to transcend mediocrity. His core message—that obsession, properly channeled, is not a liability but humanity's greatest asset—challenges conventional wisdom about balance, moderation, and satisfaction. Through his story, we see that greatness isn't achieved through reasonable effort or balanced living, but through all-consuming commitment to meaningful goals. The lessons from Cardone's life offer transformative potential for entrepreneurs, professionals, and dreamers alike. First, recognize that your obsessions are gifts to be harnessed rather than flaws to be suppressed—they provide the energy necessary to overcome inevitable obstacles. Second, deliberately starve the doubt that would keep you average while feeding the ambition that propels you forward. Third, understand that persistence isn't just continuing when things are difficult—it's continuing when continuing no longer makes rational sense. Finally, remember that control of your destiny isn't granted but taken, requiring the courage to make decisions and assume responsibility even when outcomes are uncertain. For those willing to embrace these principles, Cardone's journey illuminates not just a path to financial success, but to a life of purpose, impact, and extraordinary achievement.

About Author

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Grant Cardone

I am a NY Times Best Selling Author, internationally-recognized Sales Training Expert, Business Coach, and the Founder and CEO of 3 businesses: Cardone Training Technologies, Cardone Group, and Twin Capital Management. You may have seen me as the star and co-executive producer of a show, called TurnAround King.In addition to speaking internationally to individuals, companies, and industry leaders on sales effectiveness, negotiating strategies, business development and business expansion, I am a regular contributor to networks including, Fox News, MSNBC, CNBC, Huffington Post, Business Week’s Business Exchange, The Wall Street Journal, CNN, Reuters, CNBC, Today Show and over 600 radio shows.I am the author of four published books, with a fifth book slated to release in 2012.• "Sell To Survive" (2008): The definitive sales survival manual on how to SELL your way through any economy.• "The Closers Survival Guide" (2009): The ultimate guide to getting sales done.• "If You're Not First, You're Last" (2010): Sales strategies to dominate your market and beat your competition. • "The 10X Rule": Where to start, what to do, and how to follow up each action you take with more action to 10X your success!I have also authored a number of business and motivational audio and video programs; The Rules of Success Motivational Program, Control Without Confrontation, 21st Century Selling, Maximizing Every Opportunity and a customized program for the auto industry called The One a Day Sales and Management Program.I first became known in the business world with the development of a revolutionary new selling process, known as, Information Assisted Selling (a non-confrontational 21st Century selling approach)

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