Be Seen

Be Seen Plot Summary

Introduction

Have you ever felt like you were living someone else's life? Perhaps you've built a career or created a public persona that doesn't quite match who you truly are inside. In today's hyper-connected world, the pressure to present a perfect, polished image can be overwhelming, leading many of us to hide our authentic selves behind carefully constructed facades. The journey to being truly seen begins with seeing yourself clearly first. When you reconnect with your authentic self and harness the power of your unique story, you create the foundation for a brand and life that feels genuinely fulfilling. This isn't about perfection or following someone else's playbook—it's about embracing your messy, beautiful truth and sharing it with the world in a way that creates meaningful connections and opportunities. Through practical frameworks and real-world experiences, you'll discover how to transform your vulnerabilities into your greatest strengths and build the confidence to show up as your whole self.

Chapter 1: Reconnect with Your Authentic Self

At the heart of being seen authentically lies a fundamental truth: you must first recognize and embrace your true self. This journey begins with acknowledging that the most powerful version of you isn't some polished, perfect persona, but rather the genuine, sometimes messy human being with unique experiences and perspectives to share. Jen Gottlieb's path to reconnecting with her authentic self illustrates this journey perfectly. As an actress and TV personality on VH1's "That Metal Show," Jen found herself playing the role of "Miss Box of Junk"—a character far removed from who she really was. "I was being seen, sure, but I was doing it by being inauthentic," she confesses. Behind the scenes, Jen struggled with the disconnect between her public persona and her true self, culminating in a breakdown in her dressing room when she discovered her boyfriend's infidelity. This pivotal moment forced her to confront how lost she had become. The turning point came when Jen attended a psychic reading. Despite initial skepticism, the psychic's words hit hard: "You're not being seen." Though Jen initially rejected this assessment—after all, she taught people how to be seen through her company Super Connector Media—the message eventually resonated. She realized that while she might be visible, she wasn't allowing people to see the real her. To reconnect with your authentic self, Jen introduces the concept of "getting in the pocket"—those moments when you feel most aligned, in flow, and genuinely yourself. Using the S-E-E-N method (Sense, Experience, Embody, Navigate), you can intentionally recreate this state. Start by using sensory triggers like music or scents that remind you of times when you felt most yourself. Experience those memories fully, allowing yourself to feel the emotions associated with them. Embody that version of yourself physically—how does that authentic you stand, move, and speak? Finally, navigate through your daily life as this authentic version of yourself, perhaps through "Wonder Walks" where you practice moving through the world as your true self. Another powerful technique involves writing a letter from your authentic self to your present self. This exercise creates a dialogue between who you truly are and who you've been showing the world, offering guidance and reminders about your inherent worthiness and capabilities. When we connect with our authentic selves, we build the foundation for genuine connection with others. Remember that being authentic isn't about sharing every thought or feeling in real-time, but about allowing yourself to be seen in a way that feels true and aligned. As you practice these techniques, you'll develop a clearer sense of who you really are beneath societal expectations and self-imposed limitations.

Chapter 2: Harness Fear as Your Ally

Fear isn't your enemy—it's actually a powerful indicator that you're moving in the right direction toward growth and authenticity. Understanding fear's true nature and learning to work with it rather than against it becomes essential when you're stepping into visibility and showing your authentic self to the world. Jen identifies six symptoms of fear that can prevent us from being seen: FOMO (Fear of Missed Opportunity), Comparisonitis, Analysis Paralysis, Perfectionism, Impostor Syndrome, and Disease to Please. These manifestations of fear often masquerade as rational thinking, keeping us safely hidden within our comfort zones. For instance, when Jen co-hosted Unfair Advantage Live for the first time with her partner Chris, impostor syndrome paralyzed her. Standing beside Chris on stage, she felt unworthy and inadequate, convinced everyone could see through her facade. The situation reached a breaking point when Jen had to deliver a sales pitch from the stage. "I completely shit the bed," she recalls candidly. She stumbled through slides, tripped over her words, and when the time came for the audience to sign up, not a single person moved. Humiliated, Jen retreated to the green room, convinced she'd ruined everything and wasn't cut out for this role. In this pivotal moment, instead of letting fear drive her out of the building, Jen made a crucial shift. She realized she didn't need to be like Chris—she needed to be herself. When the audience returned from lunch, she had the DJ play Justin Timberlake's "Can't Stop the Feeling!" and led the entire room in an impromptu dance party. The energy completely transformed, and by the end of the event, they had made over a million dollars in sales. To harness fear as your ally, Jen recommends acknowledging it directly: "What's up, Fear? I see you, I hear you, and I get it. You're trying to keep me safe, and I love you for it. But I'm not in any real danger here other than the risk of not living up to my highest potential." Then, put fear in the passenger seat. As Elizabeth Gilbert writes in Big Magic, fear is allowed to come along for the ride, but it isn't allowed to touch the steering wheel or choose the radio station. When you're feeling stuck, remember that fear's presence indicates you're pushing past your comfort zone toward growth. Oscar De La Hoya, the famous boxer, told Jen he loves feeling scared because it means he's about to do something that will make him stronger once he's conquered it. Without fear, there's no growth. The key is to recognize that fear never completely disappears—even the most successful people experience it regularly. The difference is they've learned to acknowledge it, understand its message, and take action anyway. By practicing this approach, you turn fear from an obstacle into a compass pointing toward your greatest opportunities for growth and visibility.

Chapter 3: Build Unshakeable Confidence

Confidence isn't an innate quality that some people are born with and others lack—it's a skill that can be developed through consistent practice and intentional action. Building confidence becomes essential when you're stepping into visibility and allowing your authentic self to be seen by the world. Jen's struggle with confidence began early. At 12, she started figure skating, but as a "thicker girl with very developed D cups and a little extra fluff," she never felt she had the typical "skater body." When her Russian coach Vera complimented her on looking skinny one day, Jen's brain made a powerful connection: skinny = love. This equation led to a dangerous path of disordered eating that consumed her for years, disconnecting her from her innate confidence and authentic self. "I had been friends with this feeling for a long time," Jen reveals, describing the confidence she felt as a child performing fearlessly in her parents' basement. That natural self-assurance began to fade when she prioritized external validation over internal truth. Through her healing journey, Jen discovered that confidence comes from consistently honoring commitments to yourself, especially when they're uncomfortable. To rebuild your confidence, Jen introduces the Confidence Continuum, a six-step framework she calls the six Cs: Clarity, Community, Commitment, Creation, Consistency, and Celebration. Start with clarity about what you want to achieve. Surround yourself with a supportive community who believes in you. Make and keep commitments to yourself. Create something tangible through action. Practice consistency in your efforts. Finally, celebrate your wins, no matter how small. The "Rule of 51 Percent" offers another practical approach to confidence building. Rather than waiting until you feel 100% confident before taking action, you only need to believe in yourself a little bit more than you don't—just 51%. That small edge of belief is enough to take the first step, which leads to small wins that gradually increase your confidence percentage. For immediate confidence boosts, Jen suggests several practical techniques: Get "camera ready" by dressing in a way that makes you feel powerful. Turn up inspiring music that gets you in the zone. Tap into your "alter ego" (a technique used by Beyoncé with her Sasha Fierce persona) to create psychological distance from your fears. Finally, consult your "Badass List"—a collection of your accomplishments and moments of courage that reminds you of your capabilities. Remember that confidence isn't about the absence of fear or doubt—it's about continuing to move forward despite them. Every time you honor a commitment to yourself, you make a deposit in your confidence bank. Over time, these deposits accumulate, creating the unshakeable confidence you need to be authentically seen and heard.

Chapter 4: Create Your Future Vision

Creating a compelling vision for your future is like drawing a roadmap to your most authentic, fulfilled life. This vision, which Jen calls "You 2.0," represents the version of yourself that emerges when your true self aligns with your purpose and potential. Far from a fantasy exercise, envisioning your future is a powerful way to program your subconscious mind and open yourself to opportunities that might otherwise go unnoticed. Jen's personal story of manifesting her role in The Wedding Singer demonstrates this principle in action. At 20 years old, after dropping out of college to pursue acting in New York City, Jen attended a performance of The Wedding Singer on Broadway. When the character Linda appeared onstage in her 1980s Madonna wedding dress and thigh-high boots, Jen had an overwhelming realization: "I'm going to play that part one day," she told her friend Pat, tears streaming down her face. Though she had no Broadway connections or experience, Jen intuitively began applying what she later formalized as "The Creation Process." Each night before bed, she would visualize herself performing Linda's song, feeling the scratchy lace bustier, the heat of the stage lights, and hearing the audience's applause. "I didn't realize it at the time, but I was implanting a memory of an experience into my subconscious mind," Jen explains. The Creation Process consists of five key steps: See It, Believe It, Do It, Receive It, and Repeat It. First, visualize your desired outcome in vivid detail, engaging all your senses. Next, cultivate belief by affirming that this vision is not only possible but inevitable. Third, take consistent action toward your goal—when Jen spotted a casting notice for the Broadway national tour of The Wedding Singer, she immediately auditioned despite her inexperience. The fourth step, Receive It, came after months of preparation and persistence. Initially cast as an understudy, Jen eventually won the role of Linda. "The experience was like déjà vu," she recalls. "I saw the same sights, heard the same sounds, and felt the same feelings I had when I was experimenting with visualization." Finally, Repeat It involves continuing to apply this process to new goals and visions. To implement this in your own life, start by identifying what "You 2.0" looks and feels like. Get specific about your environment, emotions, and actions in this future state. Create affirmations that reinforce your belief in this vision. Then, take three concrete actions—no matter how small—that move you toward this reality. Expect obstacles and prepare strategies for overcoming them. Practice gratitude for your vision as if it's already happened. Remember that your vision may evolve as you grow, and the path might not be linear. The power lies not in getting every detail exactly right, but in using your vision as a compass that guides your choices and actions. As Jen discovered, "If what you want doesn't manifest exactly as you envisioned, it will show up eventually as something so much better than you could have imagined."

Chapter 5: Cultivate Meaningful Connections

Meaningful connections form the foundation of both personal fulfillment and professional success. These relationships provide support, accountability, and opportunities that can catapult your visibility to new heights. However, cultivating these connections requires strategic intention and the courage to set boundaries with those who no longer serve your growth. Jen learned this lesson the hard way after her breakup with her boyfriend Rob. She discovered that many of her friendships were based on negativity, gossip, and competition. "We were all scared that if one of us became successful, it took away opportunities from the rest of us," she explains. These relationships held her back from embracing her authentic self and pursuing her true potential. The turning point came when Jen realized she needed to say "no" to these toxic connections to say "yes" to healthier ones. This realization challenges the sunk cost fallacy—the tendency to continue investing in something simply because we've already invested so much. "When you say no to hanging out with your old crew who triggers you and puts you down, you're saying yes to going for a walk with a new friend who is so excited to hear about your big ideas," Jen writes. Building your ideal community also requires getting comfortable with rejection. Jen frames rejection as an opportunity for growth by offering a five-step process: Diagnose the situation by analyzing what happened and taking responsibility. Deal with your feelings within a contained timeframe. Discover the hidden "yes" behind every "no" by finding something to be grateful for. Develop a plan for your next steps. Finally, do something—take action toward your new outcome. To create strategic connections, Jen introduces the powerful Top 20 Tool. This exercise involves listing 20 people in your network who have some connection to your goal, rating them on their influence and likelihood to help you, then sorting them by total score. For those at the top of your list with high "help" scores, you can reach out directly. For those with lower "help" scores, focus on providing value to them first to strengthen the relationship before making asks. When asking for help, Jen emphasizes the importance of providing value first and framing your request in terms of how it benefits the other person. She shares how she secured a speaking engagement at an exclusive mastermind event by first delivering consistent value to the organizer, Dan Fleyshman, then pitching her talk in terms of how it would help his members, not herself. Remember that your network is your net worth, and authentic relationships require mutual benefit. As Jen discovered through research like Harvard's Grant Study, people with deep, positive relationships are not only happier but more financially successful. Cultivate connections intentionally, recognizing that humans thrive in community and that meaningful relationships are essential to being seen in a way that matters.

Chapter 6: Tell Your Story with Impact

Your personal story is the most powerful asset you have for creating meaningful connections and standing out in a crowded marketplace. The key is learning how to tell your story in a way that makes people lean in and want to hear more, rather than tuning out or scrolling past. Jen discovered the power of storytelling during an unexpected interview on the PBS show "Life & Living with Joanna Gagis." Having built her fitness business JLG Fitness after leaving the entertainment industry, Jen was nervous about discussing her past on That Metal Show, fearing it would undermine her credibility as a fitness expert. "I had been in showbiz long enough to know the past is never truly past," she writes. When the host brought up her entertainment background instead of focusing on fitness tips as planned, Jen initially panicked. However, as she began sharing her journey from Broadway to VH1 to fitness entrepreneurship, something remarkable happened. "The more I shared, the more I connected the dots of how 'Miss Box of Junk' Jen had been deeply connected to Real Jen all along," she explains. She noticed the host physically leaning in, completely engaged in the story. This became what Jen now calls the "lean-in story"—a narrative so compelling that it draws people closer both physically and emotionally. Most people make the mistake of "burying the lede"—hiding their most interesting stories behind what they think others want to hear. They create generic content about their expertise rather than sharing what makes them unique. "If you're sticking purely to the topic and saying nothing about yourself, you're just going to be another voice lost in a crowd," Jen advises. Your messy, authentic stories are what make you memorable and relatable. To find your lean-in stories, pay attention to people's reactions when you share different anecdotes. When do they give you their undivided attention? When do they ask follow-up questions or lean forward in their seats? These reactions indicate you've found a story worth developing. Once you've identified your lean-in stories, structure them using the Simple Story Structure: Conflict, Resolution, and How You Fit In. The Conflict describes a challenging moment that initiated change in your life. The Resolution explains how you found a solution and what happened as a result. How You Fit In connects your personal experience to how you now help others. For example, one of Jen's clients, Anna, structured her story about leaving a cult after a cancer diagnosis, experiencing a miraculous recovery, and now helping women transform their lives through fashion. Another client, Amy, tells how her lupus diagnosis led her to create cauliflower pizza crust, eventually building a multimillion-dollar company, Cali'flour Foods. Remember that storytelling is a skill that improves with practice. Start by crafting your Simple Story Structure, then practice telling it to yourself in the mirror, recording yourself, or sharing it with supportive friends. The more comfortable you become with your story, the more authentically you'll connect with your audience. As Jen discovered, "What I thought was my mess was, in fact, my message."

Chapter 7: Leverage Your Unique Credibility

Your unique credibility is what transforms you from just another voice in your field to the recognized expert people trust and seek out. This credibility doesn't happen by accident—it's strategically built and amplified through a three-part framework Jen calls the CIA technique: Credibility, Influence, and Authority. When Jen realized her Instagram Live about networking skills wasn't gaining traction despite its valuable content, she leveraged a connection to get that same content published in Forbes. The results were dramatic: "Hundreds of shares from people all over the world, DMs coming out of the woodwork, and in 72 hours, I'd taken my $0 investment into that article and turned it into $370,000 of profit," she reveals. The content was identical, but the credibility of the Forbes platform gave it significantly more weight and visibility. Credibility comes from being featured by trusted sources that essentially "vouch" for your expertise. Think of it as a stamp of approval that makes potential clients feel more confident choosing you over competitors. This can come from media features, speaking engagements, awards, or testimonials from respected figures in your industry. Influence involves your ability to reach and impact a targeted audience. Rather than building this audience entirely from scratch, Jen recommends leveraging what she calls OPA (Other People's Audiences). Her Forbes article led to being quoted by radio host Elvis Duran, which led to a guest appearance on his show, exposing her to his massive audience. "That's how you build your audience, my friend!" Jen emphasizes. Authority combines credibility and influence to establish you as the go-to expert in your field. Jen illustrates this with her appearance on the cover of Strong magazine. Though she was no longer in the fitness industry, she worked with the editorial team to angle the story toward entrepreneurship, creating authority in her current field despite the magazine's fitness focus. To leverage your unique credibility effectively, Jen provides a framework for creating the "perfect post" that amplifies your media wins: Use a compelling headline that addresses your audience's problems, pose questions that create curiosity, clearly state your main point without burying the lede, and be specific rather than vague. Tell a story that connects emotionally with your audience. Provide value that makes people want to engage with your content. Include a clear call to action that encourages interaction. Never post and ghost—always respond to comments. Finally, reuse, recycle, and repurpose your best content across different platforms. Jen emphasizes that building your credibility requires consistent action even when you don't feel ready. She shares how choosing "content" and "flexibility" as her words of the year transformed her business, leading to 70,000 TikTok followers in six months and recognition as one of the top 50 keynote speakers in the world. "People see me everywhere because I make myself be seen everywhere," she explains. Remember that your credibility isn't just about you—it's about serving those who need what you have to offer. As Jen learned from Dr. Norah, a client who overcame her fear of visibility to help save a teenager's life through her expertise: "When you have a service, product, story, or message that has the potential to help people, it is your responsibility to be seen."

Summary

Throughout this journey of discovering your voice and building your authentic brand, one truth remains constant: your unique story and experiences are your greatest assets. As Jen Gottlieb powerfully articulates, "Your personal stories are what make you uniquely you. They're what make you stand out in this crowded world of Paris filters and Facetuning. They're what make people want to connect with you instead of that other life coach, doctor, speaker, or interior designer." Every challenge, setback, and seemingly random detour in your life forms part of a constellation that, when viewed in hindsight, creates a beautiful and meaningful pattern. In Steve Jobs' words that Jen keeps in her entryway: "You can't connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust the dots will somehow connect in your future." Your next step is simple but profound: choose one piece of content today that could help someone who was once in your shoes, and share it with the world. When you allow yourself to be authentically seen, you not only fulfill your own potential but create the opportunity for others to find the courage to do the same.

About Author

Loading...

Jen Gottlieb

Hi there, I'm Jen!I'm all about helping you stop hiding and start shining like the star you are!I have some experience under my belt - from my time as a VH1 host and Broadway actress, I've learned a thing or two about putting yourself out there and making a difference. But let me be real with you, it wasn't always easy. I've faced rejection, self-doubt, and moments where I felt like I lost myself along the way. But that's just part of the journey, isn't it?That's why I'm passionate about helping others gain the confidence and skills they need to succeed and take their careers to the next level. Through my company, Super Connector Media, we've helped thousands of business owners, doctors, coaches, and experts become "The Recognized Expert" in their industry. Whether it's teaching them how to get mainstream media coverage or helping them crush it on stage, we're all about giving people the authority they need to level up.And let me tell you, it's been a wild ride! I've gone from almost broke on a bathroom floor to speaking alongside some of the biggest names in the biz, like Gary Vaynerchuck, Snoop Dogg, and Marie Forleo. And I've been featured in all the cool places, like Forbes, Business Insider, Maxim, Women's Health, and even Goop (yes, that Goop!). Plus, my company's been named one of the fastest-growing private companies in America by Inc. Magazine. Not too shabby, huh?But you know what really gets me pumped? Seeing the impact we've had on our clients' lives. Watching someone go from feeling invisible to becoming a sought-after expert in their field is the ultimate high. And that's why I wrote my new book, BE SEEN. I truly believe that if you can find the courage to step out of the shadows and start showing up as the truest, most badass version of yourself, you can achieve anything you want.So thank you for being here, new friend. I'm grateful for your support, and I can't wait to see what you accomplish when you start to truly BE SEEN!!

Read more