Cues

Cues Plot Summary

Introduction

Have you ever wondered why some people can walk into a room and instantly command attention? What makes them so magnetic, so influential, so... charismatic? The truth is, charisma isn't some magical quality bestowed upon a lucky few—it's a skill that can be learned, practiced, and mastered by anyone willing to understand its components. At its core, charisma is about communication—not just what you say, but how you say it. Every gesture, expression, vocal tone, and word choice sends powerful signals that others unconsciously interpret. When you learn to decode these hidden signals and intentionally craft your own, you transform ordinary interactions into extraordinary connections. This book will guide you through the science of charismatic communication, revealing the exact cues that build trust, project confidence, and create lasting impact in every interaction.

Chapter 1: Balance Warmth and Competence for Instant Impact

The most charismatic people you know share a specific combination of traits that researchers at Princeton University have identified: warmth and competence. This simple equation (warmth + competence = charisma) serves as the foundation for magnetic communication. When we meet someone, we instinctively assess these two dimensions—can I trust you (warmth) and can I rely on you (competence)? Research shows that these two factors account for an astonishing 82% of our impressions of others. Most people naturally lean toward one trait or the other. Some come across as highly competent but cold, while others seem warm and friendly but lack authority. The magic happens when you can signal both simultaneously, making others feel they're in both safe and capable hands. Consider the difference between two leaders giving the same presentation. The first speaks confidently about impressive data but maintains a stern expression and rigid posture. The second presents the same information while occasionally smiling, making eye contact, and using inclusive language. The second leader will invariably create more buy-in and enthusiasm because they've balanced competence signals with warmth cues. This balance is particularly crucial in high-stakes situations. In job interviews, candidates who demonstrate both warmth and competence are significantly more likely to be hired than those who excel in just one area. In sales conversations, representatives who balance friendly rapport-building with knowledgeable expertise consistently outperform their peers who focus exclusively on either relationship or information. To apply this principle immediately, assess your natural tendency. Do you typically emphasize warmth (building relationships, showing empathy) or competence (demonstrating expertise, projecting authority)? Once you identify your default style, consciously incorporate elements of the other dimension. If you're naturally warm, add more competence signals like precise language and confident posture. If you're naturally competent, incorporate more warmth through genuine smiles and engaged listening. The most charismatic communicators continuously adjust this balance based on their audience and context, creating instant connection and credibility in every interaction.

Chapter 2: Decode Hidden Signals in Every Interaction

Have you ever shared a brilliant idea only to have it fall flat? This was exactly what happened to Jamie Siminoff, founder of Ring, the video doorbell company eventually acquired by Amazon for over $1 billion. Before this success, Siminoff pitched his company (then called Doorbot) on Shark Tank, where every investor passed despite strong early sales and promising traction. What went wrong? The answer lies not in the information Siminoff presented but in how he presented it. Throughout his pitch, he leaked subtle signals that undermined his credibility. When introducing himself, he used a question inflection when stating his name: "It's Jamie?" Research shows this unconsciously signals low confidence and causes listeners to question the speaker's authority. Throughout the pitch, Siminoff missed crucial nonverbal feedback from the Sharks. When Mark Cuban pulled the corners of his mouth down in a mouth shrug (signaling disbelief), Siminoff failed to address this concern. While fielding questions, Siminoff gulped visibly when challenged on a crucial point about smart devices—a nervous cue that completely undermined his verbally confident response. When trying to convince the Sharks he faced no serious competition, he displayed a halt cue: "We do not have any direct competitors. When I say direct [pause], we're [pause] the first video doorbell built for the smartphone." These hesitations signaled potential dishonesty, making investors instinctively wary. Siminoff made the classic mistake many intelligent people make: focusing too much on content and not enough on cues. Hundreds of subtle signals are being exchanged in every interaction, and learning to decode them transforms your communication effectiveness. Researchers can predict with surprising accuracy which couples will divorce, which doctors will get sued more often, and even who will win elections—all based on subtle cues. To become more adept at decoding signals, start by observing baseline behavior. Notice how someone typically speaks, gestures, and positions themselves when relaxed. Then watch for deviations from this baseline, which often indicate emotional shifts. Pay particular attention to clusters of cues rather than isolated signals. A single crossed arm might mean nothing, but crossed arms plus a furrowed brow and tight lips likely indicates disagreement or discomfort. By developing this awareness, you'll gain invaluable insights in negotiations, presentations, and everyday conversations. You'll notice when someone is uncomfortable before they voice it, recognize genuine interest versus polite attention, and adjust your approach accordingly for more successful outcomes.

Chapter 3: Project Confidence Through Strategic Body Language

Richard M. Nixon was experiencing a string of bad luck. Just weeks before the first-ever televised U.S. presidential debate against John F. Kennedy, Nixon slammed his knee on a car door and ended up hospitalized. On debate day, he arrived at the studio with a fever and a bandaged knee, which he banged yet again while exiting his car. During the debate, Nixon displayed numerous negative nonverbal cues that undermined his credibility. He positioned his feet in what's called "runner's feet," pulling one foot back as if about to sprint away—signaling impatience or discomfort. Meanwhile, Kennedy had his legs folded in a relaxed seated position, appearing calm and confident. Nixon gripped the chair arm in what looked like a white-knuckle fist—an immediate anxiety cue. He also continuously rubbed his thigh in a self-soothing gesture, making him look nervous. When the camera zoomed in on Nixon's face, he shifted his head from side to side, then flashed a microexpression of contempt—a one-sided mouth raise that signals disdain. In contrast, Kennedy stared straight ahead, kept his face calm, and gave a single slow affirmative nod toward the audience. Throughout the debate, Kennedy appeared increasingly presidential—calm, confident, and secure. Six weeks later, Kennedy won by a razor-thin margin, with studies revealing that more than half of all voters had been influenced by the debates. To project confidence through your own body language, start with powerful posture. Relax your shoulders and create space between your shoulders and earlobes. Place your feet slightly wider than normal to feel more grounded. Create space between your arms and torso to appear more open and confident. These small adjustments make you look and feel more powerful immediately. One particularly effective confidence cue is the steeple gesture—when your palms face each other with fingertips gently touching like a church steeple. This gesture conveniently combines several powerful signals: it shows you're relaxed, it's an expansive gesture demonstrating confidence, and it keeps your palms visible (assuring others you aren't concealing anything). Use the steeple when giving directives or when you want to signal confident contemplation. Remember that your posture not only influences how others perceive you but also how you feel about yourself. Research shows that expansive posture helps you both look and feel more powerful, while contracted posture increases stress hormones. By making these small adjustments to your body language, you can instantly enhance your charisma and confidence in any situation.

Chapter 4: Build Trust with Powerful Warmth Cues

In September 1953, Walt Disney and Herb Ryman had just two days to draft a plan for a groundbreaking pitch that would one day become Disneyland. Almost seven decades later, about 51,000 people visit Disneyland every day. Disney's original goal of bringing people happiness carries on through what they call the "Wow Factor"—not just meeting high expectations but exceeding them. How do they achieve this? Disney University teaches every park employee specific nonverbal cues to use with guests—signals that embody the pinnacle of warmth. These little warmth cues might seem insignificant individually, but Disney recognizes them as essential components of the overall experience. As they explain: "It is this plethora of little wows, many of which seem fairly insignificant at the time, on which Quality Service depends. If the little wows are delivered consistently and continuously, they add up to a big WOW!" These warmth cues create loyalty and a powerful halo effect. When you're perceived as warm and trustworthy, people feel more trust for everything about you—from your personality to your ideas to your services. Researchers found that when participants watched a professor teach with warmth cues versus the same professor teaching without them, those who saw the warmth video rated the professor as more likable, more attractive, and even liked his accent more. The warmth cues created a halo effect, enhancing everything about him. One of the most powerful warmth cues is the head tilt. When trying to hear something more clearly, we naturally tilt our head to the side to expose our ear. This instinctive gesture shows interest and curiosity. People who tilt their head during conversations immediately increase their likability. The head tilt literally signals "I really want to hear what you have to say" or "That's interesting. Tell me more." Another essential warmth cue is nodding. Nodding is one of the most underutilized persuasion tools available. Researchers found that when jurors nodded while an expert witness was speaking, it significantly affected whether the expert was believed and how much other jurors agreed with the testimony. When you nod while listening to someone, you encourage them to open up more and feel more receptive yourself. To create trust and rapport quickly, use at least three warmth cues in the first three minutes of any interaction. These might include a head tilt, nodding, an eyebrow raise, a genuine smile, or mirroring the other person's positive body language. These small signals build incremental trust with every person, every time you interact, creating a foundation for meaningful connection and influence.

Chapter 5: Master Your Voice for Maximum Authority

"Were you scared to face an audience in the beginning?" asked six-time Emmy award-winning actor Alan Alda of legendary comedian Betty White. "I still get stage fright," White admitted. When Alda wondered what happens when she's nervous, White forced her voice up a few octaves into a high pitch: "Hellooooo? Hello, everybody? I'm so... I'm so... happy to be here." When we're nervous or stressed, our voice tends to pitch higher—what can be called nervous pitch. This happens because anxiety causes our body to contract—we tuck our chin in, tense our neck, clench our jaw, and cross our arms. All this contracting allows less space in our lungs, making it difficult to take in air and project our voice. But when we're confident, we pull our shoulders down and back, expand our chest, and use our arms, which relaxes and expands the muscles we use to speak. To sound more confident, use your lowest comfortable pitch. Research shows that lowering your voice pitch makes others perceive you as more powerful. When participants speak in their lowest comfortable pitch, they also feel more powerful and think more abstractly. This doesn't mean going unnaturally deep—simply use the lowest pitch you can employ comfortably, supported by good posture and proper breathing. Another vocal power cue is avoiding question inflection on statements. Elliott, a sales rep with the lowest conversion rate on his team, had one significant problem: each time he mentioned the price of his service, he used question inflection, saying "The price of our service is $500?" instead of making it a statement. This unconsciously cued his prospects to question the price too. When Elliott switched to a neutral inflection on price, he got less pushback, less haggling, and closed more deals. Volume control is another essential aspect of vocal power. Speaking louder takes more breath and expansiveness, signaling confidence. Research shows we tend to like people who speak on the louder side, as a strong, confident vocal demeanor persuades others by signaling that speakers strongly endorse their own message. However, true vocal power comes from showing mastery of volume dynamism—controlling your volume shows you have control of your message. When master communicators want to show excitement, they speak up; when sharing secrets or insider information, they speak quietly, forcing listeners to lean in. Finally, eliminate verbal fillers like "um," "so," "like," and "you know" by embracing the power of the pause. Verbal fillers destroy your credibility—studies show speakers who use fillers are seen as less prepared and less competent. Instead, use a breathing pause—simply stop and take a breath. This prevents fillers, helps keep your vocal pitch low, gives you a moment to think, and makes you sound and feel more confident in every conversation.

Chapter 6: Eliminate Negative Signals That Undermine Trust

On August 25, 2005, Tour de France champion cyclist Lance Armstrong appeared on Larry King Live to convince the public he wasn't doping. A few minutes into the interview, Armstrong told a bald-faced lie about his use of performance-enhancing drugs: "That's crazy. I would never do that... that's... no. No way." As he said this, he pressed his mouth into a hard line, forming what's called a lip purse—a cue that indicates suppressing or hiding one's true feelings. Eight years later, Armstrong finally admitted to his massive doping scheme. The lip purse is one of many cues that fall into the Danger Zone—red flags indicating the possibility of something negative. These cues signal anxiety, boredom, confusion, defensiveness, close-mindedness, incompetence, or aggression. Being aware of these signals allows you to both decode them in others and avoid encoding them yourself. One common Danger Zone cue is distancing. When we don't like something, we have the urge to physically distance ourselves from it. President Richard Nixon famously said, "I am not a crook. I've earned everything I've got" during a press conference in 1973. Immediately after stating this lie, he took a large step back from the podium—a distancing cue. When we tell lies or feel threatened, we instinctively try to create physical distance from the uncomfortable situation. Self-comfort is another revealing cue. When anxious, we self-touch by rubbing our neck, wringing our hands, or stroking our legs to calm ourselves. In a 2006 Dateline interview, Britney Spears was asked about her relationship with Kevin Federline. She immediately sat back in a distancing gesture, pulled her hair out of her face (a ventilating gesture), and began rhythmically rubbing the side of her calf (a comfort gesture). Research confirms we self-touch more when discussing anxiety-producing topics. Blocking gestures also appear frequently in the Danger Zone. We block when threatened or uncomfortable to protect our most vulnerable areas. There are three types: body blocking (protecting heart, lungs, and abdomen), mouth blocking (covering mouth or biting nails), and eye blocking (covering face or eyes, or increased blinking). These gestures make us feel protected but signal close-mindedness to others. The shame touch is another powerful cue to recognize. When feeling ashamed, we lightly touch our forehead with our fingers or hands, often accompanied by looking down. This commonly happens when discussing money, when confused, when receiving too much information too quickly, or when someone realizes they've made a mistake. Shame is an indication that you're approaching the Danger Zone—a signal flare of nervousness. To avoid sending these negative signals yourself, practice awareness of your default stress responses. When feeling pressured or uncomfortable, take a deep breath, maintain an open posture, and resist the urge to self-comfort or block. By eliminating these negative cues, you'll project more confidence and trustworthiness, even in challenging situations.

Chapter 7: Transform Your Written Communication

In 1996, Sabeer Bhatia and Jack Smith were hard at work pitching an idea for a new web product. After securing a $300,000 seed investment, they built the first version of Hotmail.com. As they neared launch, they wondered how to attract millions of users without spending money on advertising. Their solution was brilliantly simple: they added one line at the bottom of every email sent from Hotmail: "PS: I Love You. Get Your Free Email at Hotmail.com." In just the first few weeks, Hotmail exploded in popularity. The founders credit that simple sentence as the single biggest driver of user growth, with 80% of new users saying they learned about it from a friend. Just one year later, Hotmail was acquired by Microsoft for $400 million. Bhatia and Smith understood the power of words to cue the right response from the right people. Words have incredible power to shape perceptions and actions. In one fascinating study, researchers introduced one group of participants to the "Community Game" (a warm title) and another group to the "Wall Street Game" (a competent title). Though the rules were identical, in the Community Game, two-thirds of participants collaborated, compared to just a third in the Wall Street Game. Simply changing one verbal cue transformed how people behaved. The words you use in emails, chats, and other written communication send powerful signals about your warmth and competence. Warm words like connect, collaborate, happy, both, and together have the same effect as a smile or head tilt. Competent words like brainstorm, effective, productive, and science are the equivalent of a steeple or purposeful gesture. Some charismatic words like confident, great, and creative hit the sweet spot of both warmth and competence. To communicate more charismatically in writing, start with an email audit. Examine your five most recent important messages and count how many warm words, competent words, and charismatic words you use. Most people discover they either overuse one type of cue or use very few charisma cues at all. Once you understand your patterns, you can make simple adjustments to add more charisma to your communication. For example, instead of starting an email with "Brian - I'm all set for the meeting next week," try "Good Morning, Brian, I'm looking forward to collaborating next week." Instead of ending with "Keep me posted," try "All the best." Focus on the first ten words of any communication to set the tone, and always end with charisma. For meetings, replace boring openers like "Hi, everyone. Today we're going to go over some weekly office updates" with "Happy Monday, team! So great to see all of you. Today we have some interesting updates to go over together." These small changes in verbal cues can transform sterile, forgettable communication into charismatic, memorable interactions that inspire trust, confidence, and connection. Just as Bhatia and Smith found with their simple Hotmail signature, a few correctly placed cues can make all the difference in how your message is received and remembered.

Summary

Throughout this journey into charismatic communication, we've discovered that true charisma isn't mysterious or innate—it's a learnable skill built on specific signals that anyone can master. As the research shows, "It is this plethora of little wows, many of which seem fairly insignificant at the time, on which Quality Service depends. If the little wows are delivered consistently and continuously, they add up to a big WOW!" The same principle applies to your communication: small, intentional cues consistently applied create remarkable charisma. Your next conversation is an opportunity to put these principles into practice. Start with just one technique—perhaps balancing warmth and competence cues, eliminating a negative signal you tend to display, or adding more charismatic words to your written communication. Notice how people respond differently when you communicate with intention rather than habit. With each interaction, you'll build confidence in your ability to connect authentically, influence positively, and unlock your full charismatic potential.

About Author

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Vanessa Van Edwards

Vanessa Van Edwards is the national bestselling author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding With People, which has been translated into 16 languages. As founder of Science of People, Vanessa researches human behavior, communication and the science of relationships. Her innovative work has been featured on CNN, NPR, Fast Company, and Entrepreneur magazine. Her YouTube videos and viral TEDx London Talk have been seen by over 47 million people. For over a decade, Vanessa has been teaching science-backed people skills to audiences around the world, including SXSW and MIT, and at companies including Google, Dove, Microsoft, Facebook, Comcast, and American Express. Her next book Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication is due out in March, 2022.

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