Designing Your Life

Designing Your Life Plot Summary

Introduction

Life is a journey filled with endless possibilities, yet so many of us get stuck trying to find the "right" path. We obsess over making perfect decisions, worry about choosing the wrong career, and find ourselves paralyzed by the fear of failure. But what if we approached life differently? What if, instead of trying to find the one perfect answer, we designed our way forward through curiosity, action, and experimentation? This approach isn't about having all the answers from the start. It's about embracing uncertainty and using design thinking to create a life that's meaningful and fulfilling. By learning to think like a designer—being curious, trying things out, reframing problems, understanding process, and collaborating with others—you can transform how you approach life's challenges. Rather than getting stuck in analysis paralysis or waiting for the perfect opportunity, you'll build your way forward one step at a time, creating a life that reflects who you are and what matters most to you.

Chapter 1: Start Where You Are: Embrace Your Current Reality

Life design begins with acceptance—acceptance of where you are right now, not where you wish you were or think you should be. This sounds simple, but it's a profound shift in perspective that frees you to move forward rather than remaining stuck in regret or wishful thinking. Starting where you are means honestly assessing your current situation and distinguishing between problems you can solve and circumstances you need to accept. Dave's story illustrates this principle perfectly. As an undergraduate, Dave was convinced he was destined to become a marine biologist, inspired by Jacques Cousteau and his high school biology teacher. He persisted with this path despite struggling terribly with his biology courses and hating the lab work. His teaching assistants repeatedly told him he wasn't cut out for biology and suggested he try something else, but Dave stubbornly refused to change course. He spent two and a half years working on the wrong problem—how to succeed in biology—rather than recognizing that biology simply wasn't a good fit for his actual interests and abilities. Eventually, the failure became so profound that he was forced to switch to mechanical engineering, where he thrived. This experience taught Dave the importance of distinguishing between actionable problems and what he calls "gravity problems"—circumstances that, like gravity, simply exist and cannot be changed. A gravity problem might be the fact that poets don't make much money in our society, or that becoming a doctor requires years of medical school. You can't change these realities, but you can change how you respond to them. Fighting reality only leads to frustration and wasted energy. To start where you are, try completing what the authors call the Health/Work/Play/Love Dashboard. This exercise helps you assess how you're doing in four fundamental areas of life: your physical, mental, and spiritual health; your work and career; the activities that bring you joy; and your connections with others. For each area, reflect honestly on what's working well and what isn't, and rate your satisfaction. The dashboard isn't about achieving perfect balance—that's rarely possible—but about gaining awareness of your current reality as a starting point for design. Remember that you can't know where you're going until you know where you are. By accepting your current reality—including both your strengths and limitations—you gain the freedom to design your way forward rather than remaining stuck in denial or wishful thinking. Starting where you are isn't about settling; it's about getting real so you can take meaningful action toward creating the life you want.

Chapter 2: Build Your Compass: Define Work and Life Views

To navigate life's journey effectively, you need a reliable compass—an internal guidance system that helps you determine whether you're on course. This compass consists of two essential components: your Workview and your Lifeview. Together, they create your "True North," helping you make decisions that align with your deepest values and aspirations. Parker Palmer, a renowned educational reformer, discovered the importance of having your own compass when he realized he had been living someone else's life. Inspired by social justice leaders like Martin Luther King Jr. and Gandhi, Parker had pursued a career path that emulated theirs rather than one that expressed his authentic self. He had set his course by their compass, not his own. Eventually, he redesigned his life as a thought leader and writer—still working toward similar goals but in a way that was true to who he really was. Your Workview is your philosophy about work—what it means to you, why you do it, and what makes good work good. It goes beyond simply listing what you want in a job to articulating deeper questions: Why work? What's work for? How does it relate to individuals, others, and society? What defines worthwhile work? What role do money, experience, growth, and fulfillment play? By articulating your Workview, you become less likely to let others design your career for you. Your Lifeview, meanwhile, encompasses your ideas about the world and how it works. It addresses fundamental questions like: Why are we here? What gives life meaning? What is the relationship between individuals and others? What role do family, country, and the rest of the world play? What constitutes good and evil? Is there something transcendent in life, and if so, how does it impact you? While these questions may seem philosophical, answering them helps clarify what matters most to you. The power of having both a Workview and a Lifeview comes when you integrate them. Where do they complement each other? Where do they clash? Does one drive the other? When your Workview and Lifeview are in harmony, you achieve what the authors call "coherency"—the ability to clearly connect who you are, what you believe, and what you're doing. This coherence doesn't mean everything is perfect; it means you're living with integrity and authenticity. Like a compass that needs occasional recalibration, your Workview and Lifeview should be revisited regularly—perhaps annually, like changing the batteries in your smoke detector. This ensures that as you grow and change, your compass remains accurate, helping you navigate life's journey with confidence and clarity.

Chapter 3: Create Multiple Life Plans: Explore Possibilities

One of the most liberating insights in life design is recognizing that there isn't just one perfect life waiting for you to discover it. Instead, there are many possible great lives you could live, each authentic and fulfilling in its own way. Creating multiple life plans—what the authors call "Odyssey Plans"—frees you from the paralyzing pressure of trying to find the one "right" answer and opens you to exploring different possibilities with curiosity and creativity. Chung's story illustrates how this approach can transform decision-making. After graduating from UC Berkeley, Chung applied to six different internship programs and was accepted to his top three choices. Rather than feeling excited, he was overwhelmed with indecision. The internships were completely different from one another: teaching in rural Asia, paralegal work with an anti-sex-slavery nonprofit in Belgium, and research at a healthcare think tank in Washington, D.C. Chung believed he had to choose the "perfect" option or risk ending up in a "second choice" life. When Chung sought advice, he was asked a simple but profound question: "If you could do all three internships, one after another, how would you like that?" Chung loved this idea and discovered that two of the organizations were willing to wait. He could actually experience all three paths over the next five years rather than agonizing over which single path was "best." Ultimately, during his first internship, Chung discovered a fourth path he hadn't even considered—helping others navigate their own career decisions—and ended up pursuing graduate studies in career counseling. To create your own Odyssey Plans, develop three different five-year visions for your life. Each plan should include a visual timeline, a six-word headline capturing its essence, questions that plan is asking, and a dashboard gauging resources, likability, confidence, and coherence. One approach is to create a "Life One" based on your current trajectory, a "Life Two" imagining what you'd do if your first plan suddenly became impossible, and a "Life Three" exploring what you'd do if money or image were no object. Research shows that developing multiple alternatives in parallel leads to more innovative thinking than iterating on a single idea. When your mind starts with multiple possibilities, you avoid premature commitment and remain more open to novel solutions. Each Odyssey Plan represents a Plan A—a genuine possibility worth exploring—rather than fallback options you hope to avoid. After creating your plans, share them with supportive people who will listen without critiquing or advising. Notice which plans energize you, which feel draining, and which align with your compass. Remember that you're not designing the rest of your life—just what's next. By exploring multiple possibilities, you'll approach your future with curiosity and creativity rather than anxiety and rigidity.

Chapter 4: Prototype Forward: Test and Experience Options

Life design isn't just about thinking up great ideas—it's about trying them out in the real world through prototyping. Prototyping means creating small, low-risk experiments to gather information, test assumptions, and experience possibilities before making major commitments. It's how you "sneak up on the future" when traditional planning falls short. Clara's story demonstrates the power of prototyping. After thirty-five years as a sales executive in the tech world, Clara was ready for something new but had no clear direction. Unlike friends who had developed side interests over decades, Clara had focused entirely on her career and raising children as a single mother. Rather than jumping into the first opportunity or remaining stuck in indecision, Clara decided to prototype her way forward through small, low-risk experiences. Clara knew she wanted to help women in some capacity, so she began conducting "prototype conversations" with people working in women's issues. After attending a talk on mediation and nonviolent communication, she was invited to take a training course. This led to a temporary position mediating in the juvenile justice system. While doing this work, Clara connected with the Women's Foundation of California, which funded various nonprofits. Through this organization, she learned about grant writing and was exposed to dozens of different nonprofits. Eventually, she discovered a passion for addressing homelessness, particularly its impact on women, and found her encore career as an advocate for the homeless. Prototyping takes two main forms: conversations and experiences. Prototype conversations (or "Life Design Interviews") involve talking with someone who is doing what you're considering to learn about their day-to-day reality and career path. Unlike job interviews, these conversations aren't about securing employment but about gathering stories and insights. Prototype experiences involve actually doing some version of the work—shadowing someone for a day, creating a small project, or taking a class. To generate prototype ideas, try brainstorming with others using a structured approach: frame a good question (like "How many ways can I experience making an impact on women's empowerment?"), warm up with a creative activity, generate as many ideas as possible without judgment, and then organize and prioritize those ideas. The goal is to come up with specific, actionable experiences you can try quickly and inexpensively. Prototyping helps you avoid costly mistakes, like Elise who opened an Italian deli-café without testing whether she would enjoy the day-to-day reality of running such a business. She could have prototyped by catering first or working in a similar establishment to experience the less glamorous aspects of the business. Instead, she jumped in with both feet and discovered—after a significant investment of time and money—that she hated managing staff and inventory. Remember, prototyping isn't about getting it right the first time; it's about failing fast, failing forward, and learning continuously. By testing experiences in small ways before making major commitments, you gather the real-world data you need to design a life you'll love.

Chapter 5: Overcome Failures: Build Immunity Through Reframing

Failure is an inevitable part of life, but how we understand and respond to failure determines whether it defeats us or becomes fuel for growth. Building "failure immunity" doesn't mean avoiding failure; it means developing the ability to learn from failures and move forward without being derailed by them. Reed's story powerfully illustrates this principle. From fifth grade through his junior year of high school, Reed ran for class office thirteen times in a row—and lost every single time. While his parents winced with each defeat, Reed persisted, seeing each loss as a learning opportunity. This resilience served him well when, at age twenty-five, he was diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease. Rather than asking "Why me?" or seeing himself as a failure at being healthy, Reed applied the same failure immunity he'd developed in school to his cancer battle, focusing his energy on treatment and recovery. After his cancer went into remission, Reed faced another decision: return immediately to his promising career or take a year off to be a ski bum. Though taking a year off might create a problematic gap in his resume, Reed chose to live his life rather than just plan it. Later, when pursuing his dream job with an NFL team, he was rejected—but rather than giving up, he stayed connected, continued sharing his innovative sports analysis models, and eventually secured an even better position than the one he'd initially sought. The authors identify three types of failures, each requiring a different response. "Screwups" are simple mistakes you normally get right—like accidentally writing down the wrong date for your daughter's birthday. The best response is to acknowledge the mistake, apologize if needed, and move on. "Weaknesses" are failures that recur because of your personal limitations—like persistent procrastination. Rather than trying endlessly to change these traits, it's often more effective to work around them or accept them as part of who you are. "Growth opportunities" are failures that offer genuine learning potential—like launching into a client call without checking in first. These deserve your attention and can lead to meaningful improvement. To reframe failures effectively, try this three-step exercise: First, log your failures over a specific time period. Second, categorize each failure as a screwup, weakness, or growth opportunity. Third, identify specific insights from the growth opportunities that can improve your future actions. Doing this regularly builds the habit of converting failures into learning. The ultimate level of failure immunity comes from understanding that life is an infinite game rather than a finite one. Finite games (like getting an A in chemistry) are played to win according to established rules. Infinite games (like learning how the world works) are played to keep playing, with rules that evolve. Life design is an infinite game—a process of continuous growth and evolution rather than a problem to be solved once and for all. When you embrace this perspective, you become truly failure-immune, seeing setbacks not as terminal defeats but as information that helps you design your way forward. As the authors put it: "Life is not about winning and losing. It's about learning and playing the infinite game, and when we approach our lives as designers, we are constantly curious to discover what will happen next."

Chapter 6: Choose Well: Find Happiness in Your Decisions

Making good decisions is central to designing a life you love, but the secret to happiness isn't making the "right" choice—it's learning to choose well. Many people sabotage their happiness by approaching decisions in ways that virtually guarantee dissatisfaction, no matter what they choose. The life design choosing process has four essential steps. First, gather and create options through the design methods we've already explored—writing your Workview and Lifeview, creating mind maps, developing Odyssey Plans, and prototyping experiences. Second, narrow down your options to a manageable number. Research by psycho-economist Sheena Iyengar shows that while we're attracted to having many options, our brains can only effectively choose between three to five alternatives. When faced with too many choices (like twenty-four different jams in her famous study), we become paralyzed and often choose nothing at all. The third step is to choose discerningly by engaging multiple ways of knowing. While we typically rely on cognitive analysis (evaluating pros and cons), effective decisions also incorporate emotional intelligence—what psychologists call "the wisdom of the emotions." This wisdom resides in the basal ganglia of the brain, which communicates through feelings and gut reactions rather than words. To access this wisdom, try "grokking" your options: living as if you've already chosen one alternative for a few days, then switching to another, to see how each possibility feels from the inside. The final and perhaps most crucial step is to let go and move on. Research by Dan Gilbert at Harvard shows that people who believe their decisions are reversible end up less satisfied with those decisions than people who see them as final—even when they've chosen identical options. Similarly, Barry Schwartz's work on "the paradox of choice" demonstrates that awareness of numerous alternatives (including ones we never seriously considered) undermines our satisfaction with the choice we did make. Andy's story illustrates these principles in action. As a top premed student passionate about health care reform, Andy faced a difficult choice: pursue a master's in public health immediately to start influencing policy, or go to medical school first to gain greater credibility despite the eight-to-ten-year commitment. After analyzing the options and "grokking" both possibilities, Andy chose medical school. The key to his satisfaction, however, was how he implemented the fourth step—letting go and moving on. Rather than continuing to second-guess his decision or fixating on the lost decade, Andy fully embraced becoming a doctor. He researched which specialties would be most relevant to health policy, which medical schools had the strongest Washington connections, and what clinical experiences would teach him the most about systemic issues. By actively moving into his choice rather than looking backward with regret, he found ways to make medical training meaningful and even discovered opportunities to influence policy as a medical student. The authors emphasize that designers don't agonize about what might have been. They acknowledge that you can't know which choice is "best" because the future is unpredictable. Instead, they recommend making the best decision you can with the information available, then directing your energy toward living that decision fully rather than second-guessing yourself. As they put it: "Life designers see the adventure in whatever life they are currently building and living into. This is how you choose happiness."

Chapter 7: Build Your Team: Connect Through Collaboration

Life design is inherently collaborative. While our culture often celebrates the myth of the heroic individual who figures everything out alone, the reality is that none of us can design our lives in isolation. We need others to provide perspective, offer support, share expertise, and create opportunities we could never access on our own. When you think like a designer, you recognize that your life design isn't hidden within you, waiting to be discovered through solitary reflection. Rather, it exists in the world, waiting to be co-created through interaction with others. The ideas, possibilities, and opportunities that will shape your future don't yet exist—they will emerge through collaboration with people, many of whom you haven't even met yet. Different people play different roles in your life design team. Supporters are those you can count on for encouragement and honest feedback. Players are active participants in your work and projects. Intimates include family members and close friends who are directly affected by your life design decisions. Your core team consists of three to five people who will regularly engage with your life design project over time, providing consistency and continuity. Why three to five people? The authors explain that a pair creates a limited dynamic—one speaker and one listener—while a group of three to five generates a much richer conversation with diverse perspectives. Beyond six people, the group becomes unwieldy, with limited time for each person to contribute. The team should operate with four simple rules: keep it respectful, confidential, participative (no holding back), and generative (constructive rather than judgmental). Mentors play a particularly valuable role in life design. The authors distinguish between counsel (helping you figure out what you think) and advice (telling you what the adviser thinks). While advice can be helpful in areas requiring specific expertise, life design benefits more from counsel—having someone listen deeply to you and help you access your own wisdom. You don't need to find perfect "master mentors"; instead, you can extract mentoring contributions from various people by explicitly asking for the kind of help you need. Beyond your immediate team, consider building a community—a group with a shared purpose that meets regularly, has common ground, and creates space for members to know and be known. Unlike activity-focused groups that can function without personal disclosure, a life design community involves genuine engagement with each other's journeys. This might be a faith community, a men's or women's group, or any gathering where participants are committed to supporting each other's growth over time. The story of Ellen, Janine, and Donald from the book's introduction illustrates the importance of community. All three were stuck trying to figure out life alone—Ellen unsure of her career path despite her geology degree, Janine successful but deeply unhappy as a lawyer, Donald questioning the meaning of his work. By engaging with others through the life design process rather than struggling in isolation, each found new direction and renewed purpose. Remember that life design is about us, not just you. By building a team and embracing radical collaboration, you access collective wisdom and support that make the journey not only more successful but also more meaningful and enjoyable. As the authors put it: "We design our lives in collaboration and connection with others, because we is always stronger than I—it's as simple as that."

Summary

Life is not a problem to be solved but an adventure to be designed. Throughout this journey, we've explored how design thinking principles can transform how you approach your life and work. From starting where you are and building your compass to prototyping experiences and reframing failures, these tools offer a practical way to create a life that reflects who you are and what matters most to you. As the authors powerfully remind us, "Life design is ultimately a way of life that will transform how you look at your life and how you live your life. The end result of a well-designed life is a life well lived." This isn't about achieving perfect balance or finding the one right answer—it's about embracing a continuous process of growth and evolution. Start by choosing one concept from this book—perhaps conducting a prototype conversation, creating your Workview and Lifeview, or completing a failure reframe exercise. Take that small step today, and trust that by building your way forward one action at a time, you'll design a life that is meaningful, joyful, and authentically yours.

About Author

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Bill Burnett

Bill Burnett is an award-winning Silicon Valley designer and the Executive Director of the renowned Design Program at Stanford University.Bill Burnett is the Executive Director of the Design Program at Stanford. He directs the undergraduate and graduate program in design at Stanford, both interdepartmental programs between the Mechanical Engineering department and the Art department. He got his BS and MS in Product Design at Stanford and has worked professionally on a wide variety of projects ranging from award-winning Apple PowerBooks to the original Hasbro Star Wars action figures. He holds a number of mechanical and design patents, and design awards for a variety of products including the first “slate” computer. In addition to his duties at Stanford, he is a on the Board of VOZ (pronounced “VAWS – it means voice in Spanish) a social responsible high fashion startup and advises several Internet start-up companies.

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