Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence Plot Summary

Introduction

The morning of September 11, 2001 changed everything for Mark Loehr, CEO of SoundView Technology. As news of the tragedy unfolded, he faced a critical leadership moment. Rather than focusing on business operations, he invited all employees to gather the next day—not to work, but to share their feelings and determine how they could help. In the days that followed, Loehr created space for people to grieve together, sending nightly emails addressing the human side of the unfolding events. Under his guidance, the company channeled their emotions into action, raising over $6 million in a single day of trading to support victims—far beyond their typical daily proceeds of half a million dollars. This story illustrates what researchers Daniel Goleman, Richard Boyatzis, and Annie McKee call "primal leadership"—the fundamental ability to prime positive emotions in others through emotional intelligence. When leaders create resonance—a reservoir of positivity that brings out the best in people—they drive performance in ways that pure technical expertise never could. Through decades of research and work with thousands of executives, the authors discovered that the most effective leaders skillfully use emotional intelligence to create harmony, inspire passion, and maintain commitment even during uncertain times. These emotionally intelligent leaders understand that leadership's primal task is emotional at its core, requiring them to monitor the emotional climate and guide collective feelings in a positive direction.

Chapter 1: Moments of Crisis: Leading with Heart and Empathy

Joe Torre, manager of the New York Yankees, stood on the field celebrating his team's 1999 World Series victory. Amid the chaos of celebration, Torre sought out specific players to embrace—particularly Paul O'Neill, who had played the decisive game despite receiving news of his father's death just hours earlier. As O'Neill burst into tears when the game ended, Torre publicly acknowledged his personal struggle, praising him as "a warrior." Torre also made a point of recognizing two other players who had lost family members during the season, commending their ability to stay focused despite personal tragedy. Torre's leadership wasn't just about baseball strategy. He demonstrated remarkable emotional awareness, openly sharing his own feelings with his team—whether about his brother awaiting a heart transplant or his treatment for prostate cancer. He never hid his concerns, creating an environment where emotions could be acknowledged rather than suppressed. This emotional openness established a foundation of trust and connection that helped his team perform at their highest level even under immense pressure. In stark contrast, consider the leader of a food company division who was ordered to shut it down after years of financial losses. When delivering this news to staff, he began by boasting about competitors' successes and his recent trip to Cannes before announcing the closure. His insensitivity to the emotional impact of his message created such hostility that he nearly needed security to escort him from the room. The next day, another executive addressed the same staff about the same difficult situation, but with a completely different approach—speaking from the heart about journalism's importance to society and acknowledging their shared passion for the work. When he finished, the staff cheered, despite facing the same unfortunate outcome. The difference between these leaders lay in their emotional intelligence—their ability to recognize, understand, and manage emotions in themselves and others. The second executive created what the authors call "resonance," a positive emotional connection that enabled people to hear difficult news without being overwhelmed by negative emotions. He demonstrated that how a message is delivered can be as important as what is being said. Research confirms this isn't just about being nice. When leaders create positive emotional states, they activate the brain's motivational centers, improving creativity, decision-making, and collaboration. Studies show that up to 30% of business performance can be attributed to organizational climate—and 50-70% of that climate stems directly from leadership style. When leaders manage emotions effectively, they create an environment where people feel energized, focused, and committed to shared goals. The most effective leaders understand that emotions are contagious, and they use this knowledge strategically to foster positive emotional states that drive performance. They recognize that their own emotional state ripples throughout their organization, creating either harmony or discord that directly impacts results.

Chapter 2: Contagious Emotions: The Science Behind Resonant Leadership

Mark was a brilliant salesperson at an insurance agency, consistently winning awards for his performance. When promoted to head a struggling agency with twenty-five salespeople, he brought the same high-pressure approach that had made him successful individually. He demanded immediate results and micromanaged his team's work. Though his intentions were good, his leadership style left his salespeople feeling demotivated rather than inspired. The agency's performance, already in the bottom quartile nationally, showed no signs of improvement. With coaching, Mark began to understand the neurological basis of his leadership problem. Research shows that emotions are processed through the limbic system—an "open-loop" design that allows people to transmit feelings to one another. This emotional contagion explains why a leader's mood can literally infect an entire organization. Mark's anxiety and impatience were triggering stress responses in his team, activating their brain's threat centers rather than the areas associated with creativity and collaboration. After learning about emotional intelligence, Mark shifted his approach. Instead of focusing exclusively on results, he began having one-on-one coaching sessions with his salespeople, discussing their goals and providing balanced feedback. He practiced controlling his impulse to take over when impatient, and he articulated a compelling vision that connected their daily work to meaningful values. He didn't abandon his drive for results, but he delivered it through more emotionally intelligent leadership styles. Within eighteen months, the transformation was remarkable. His team reported feeling more motivated and having greater clarity about priorities. Within three years, his agency won the first of two consecutive national awards for growth—one of just eight awarded among 100 agencies nationwide. Within five years, the agency had moved from the bottom to the top quartile in productivity. Neuroscience helps explain this transformation. The brain's prefrontal cortex connects with the emotional centers of the limbic system, allowing emotionally intelligent leaders to regulate their emotions and attune to others' feelings. This circuitry enables what scientists call "resonance"—a state where people's emotional centers are in synchrony. When leaders create resonance, they activate the brain's positive emotional systems, which enhance creativity, learning, and collaboration. The most resonant leaders display strengths in four domains of emotional intelligence: self-awareness (understanding one's emotions), self-management (controlling disruptive emotions), social awareness (empathizing with others), and relationship management (influencing and developing others). These abilities aren't just nice-to-have traits—they're neurologically essential for leadership that inspires others to perform at their best.

Chapter 3: Building Emotional Intelligence: From Self-Awareness to Team Mastery

Bill, the human resources manager at a retail chain undergoing major transition, considered himself the "go-to guy" on the executive team. As leadership positions shifted during the restructuring, Bill inserted himself into every conversation and debate, making sure everyone knew what he thought—and what he thought he knew. When a prominent executive committee member was asked to step down, Bill analyzed the situation endlessly with anyone who would listen, spreading rumors and casting aspersions. His boss was overheard describing him as "ignorance on fire." Despite Bill's problematic behavior, no one on the management team had ever given him honest feedback. He saw himself as a respected team member, completely unaware of how others perceived him. This illustrates what researchers call "CEO disease"—the information vacuum that develops around leaders when people withhold important (and usually unpleasant) information from them. The higher someone rises in an organization, the less accurate feedback they typically receive. This feedback deficit creates a dangerous blind spot. Studies of 28,000 managers found that feedback becomes less consistent the higher a person's position. Research also shows that the poorest performers tend to overestimate their abilities the most. One study of health services CEOs found that leaders of the worst-performing companies rated themselves highest on leadership abilities, while their subordinates gave them the lowest ratings. The leaders of the best-performing companies received high ratings from their teams. The path to developing emotional intelligence begins with breaking through this information quarantine. Leaders must actively seek honest feedback, especially about aspects of their leadership that might be uncomfortable to hear. This self-awareness becomes the foundation for all other emotional intelligence competencies. Once leaders understand their emotional patterns and impact on others, they can begin to manage themselves more effectively. The good news is that emotional intelligence can be learned at any age. The brain remains plastic throughout life, capable of forming new neural connections. However, learning emotional skills differs from acquiring technical knowledge. While the thinking brain (neocortex) learns quickly through reading or lecture, emotional intelligence resides in the limbic brain, which learns more slowly through practice, feedback, and repetition. Research from the Weatherhead School of Management shows that leaders can make substantial, lasting improvements in their emotional intelligence. MBA students who went through a structured development process showed 47% improvement in self-awareness and self-management competencies and 75% improvement in social awareness and relationship management—gains that lasted for years after the program ended. The key was following a self-directed learning process: discovering one's ideal self, assessing the real self, creating a learning plan, practicing new behaviors, and developing supportive relationships.

Chapter 4: Balancing Connection and Accountability: Case Studies in Transformation

When Shawana Leroy took over as director of a struggling social work agency for impoverished families, she inherited a demoralized staff trapped in bureaucratic procedures. The agency had missed its profit targets for six years, most recently by $50 million. Despite increasing needs for services, the pace of work was slow and effectiveness abysmal. Rather than immediately imposing changes, Leroy began by meeting individually with each management team member. She listened carefully, exploring not just their understanding of the organization's problems but their personal dreams and aspirations. Using a coaching leadership style, she looked for ways to help each person succeed. She then organized a three-day offsite meeting where she encouraged everyone to express their frustrations freely in what she called a "cleansing of everything that's wrong." The next day, Leroy shifted to a democratic leadership style, asking each person to propose three specific ideas for improvement. As the group discussed these suggestions, a natural consensus emerged about priorities. With that vision in place, Leroy transitioned to a visionary leadership style, assigning accountability for each follow-up step to specific executives. Seven months later, the division was $5 million ahead of its yearly profit target—the first time it had met its target in five years. Leroy's success illustrates how effective leaders skillfully switch between different leadership styles depending on the situation. Research on nearly 4,000 executives identified six distinct leadership styles, each drawing on different emotional intelligence competencies: visionary, coaching, affiliative, democratic, pacesetting, and commanding. The first four styles consistently create resonance and positive performance, while the last two can create dissonance if overused. The visionary style—articulating where a group is going but not how it will get there—works well when changes require a new direction. The coaching style—focusing on personal development rather than accomplishing tasks—builds resonance by connecting people's daily work to their long-term aspirations. The affiliative style—creating harmony by connecting people to each other—excels at healing rifts in teams. The democratic style—building consensus through participation—generates buy-in and fresh ideas. By contrast, the pacesetting style—setting high standards and exemplifying them—can create anxiety when overused, as leaders focus on goals at the expense of people's feelings. The commanding style—demanding immediate compliance—can be effective in crises but toxic when used routinely. Research shows that leaders who master four or more styles, especially the resonance-building ones, create the most positive climate and business performance. The most effective leaders don't mechanically match styles to situations; they fluidly adjust their approach based on the needs of the moment. They recognize that leadership is fundamentally about connecting with people emotionally, and they use their emotional intelligence to build the resonance that drives sustainable results.

Chapter 5: Linking Purpose and Performance: Motivation Through Meaning

Sofia, a senior manager at a European telecom, had taken numerous leadership seminars, read books, and worked with mentors. She had written development plans and set goals, but none of these efforts seemed to guide her actual development. "Don't misunderstand," she explained, "I want to succeed in my career. But none of those career plans had much to do with what I really care about. Developing this competency or that one, solely because the job calls for it, isn't enough to keep me motivated." Sofia's experience highlights a critical insight: Real leadership development starts not with career planning but with connecting to one's deeper purpose. When asked to envision her ideal life eight to ten years in the future, Sofia described leading her own company with trusted colleagues, enjoying healthy relationships with her daughter and friends, and being "relaxed and happy as a leader and parent, and loving and empowering to all those around me." This holistic vision helped her see how various aspects of her life intersected and how developing emotional intelligence could benefit both her professional and personal relationships. The most powerful motivator for change is connecting with one's ideal self—the person you aspire to become. This connection activates the brain's positive emotional centers, particularly in the left prefrontal cortex, generating the hope and enthusiasm needed to overcome obstacles. By contrast, focusing solely on weaknesses or external expectations activates the right prefrontal area, triggering pessimism that can undermine motivation. Many leadership development programs fail because they impose an "ought self"—someone else's version of what a leader should be—rather than connecting with the person's authentic aspirations. When people accept this externally imposed ideal, they become trapped in what sociologist Max Weber called an "iron cage," going through motions that don't truly engage their passion. Over time, people may become anesthetized to their ideal selves, losing sight of their dreams and settling for more of what they're currently doing. Understanding one's underlying philosophy—pragmatic, intellectual, or humanistic—provides further insight into leadership development. A pragmatic philosophy values usefulness and measurable outcomes, often leading to a pacesetting leadership style. An intellectual philosophy prizes logical understanding and elegant solutions, supporting a visionary approach. A humanistic philosophy prioritizes relationships and human values, naturally cultivating democratic, affiliative, or coaching styles. None is inherently better, but each drives a person's actions and leadership in distinctive ways. The most sustainable leadership development occurs when people identify specific emotional intelligence competencies they want to strengthen, create learning plans that fit naturally into their lives, and practice new behaviors across multiple settings. Research shows that learning goals focused on developing capabilities lead to greater improvement than performance goals focused on achieving specific outcomes. When leaders connect their development to their deepest values and aspirations, they find the motivation to persist through the challenging work of changing ingrained habits.

Chapter 6: Culture Change That Lasts: Emotional Intelligence at Scale

The top management team of a manufacturing firm was perennially locked in what they called "flat growth." Despite urgent competitive pressures, they couldn't make important decisions. The more critical the decision, the more they would avoid topics where they knew they disagreed. Sometimes they would pretend to agree, only to leave meetings and quietly sabotage decisions. Meanwhile, the company fell further behind. A leadership audit revealed the problem: virtually every team member was uncomfortable with interpersonal disagreements, scoring low on the conflict management competence. This shared gap had paralyzed their decision-making. The team had never realized that open discussion of ideas—as opposed to personal attacks—could sharpen their thinking and lead to better outcomes. Once they recognized this collective emotional reality, they could begin addressing both their individual gaps and the team's dysfunctional norms. This example illustrates why sustainable leadership development must address three pivotal levels: individual leaders, the teams they work in, and the organization's culture. When teams face their collective emotional reality, they can reexamine the shared habits that create and hold that reality in place. Similarly, organizations must identify the cultural norms that either support or hinder emotional intelligence. Consider Shoney's restaurant chain, which in 1992 was forced to pay $132 million to settle a discrimination lawsuit from 20,000 employees and rejected job applicants. For years, the company had operated as an old-boys' network of white male executives who promoted from a buddy system and left people of color behind. Following the lawsuit, new leaders intentionally changed the company's culture, launching a campaign to broaden opportunity for qualified minorities. Within ten years, Shoney's transformed from an old-boys' club to one of Fortune magazine's "Top 50 Companies for Minorities." This transformation began when leaders actively questioned the emotional reality and cultural norms underlying the organization's daily activities. They identified what needed to change, created a compelling vision of what could be, and helped members of the organization uncover their own roles in that vision. Rather than merely aligning people with strategy, they attuned them to the vision—connecting with them emotionally as well as intellectually. The most effective leadership development initiatives recognize that organizations don't naturally encourage new learning. They tend to thrive on routine and resist change. That's why leadership development must be a strategic priority driven from the top, not just an HR initiative. It requires creating safe spaces for learning while challenging people to move beyond their comfort zones. The best processes engage people emotionally as well as intellectually, using experiential learning that connects to their personal values and aspirations. When organizations develop emotionally intelligent leadership throughout their ranks, they create a powerful force for sustainable change. Leaders who use resonance-building styles foster norms that support truth, transparency, integrity, empathy, and healthy relationships. They build with positives: crafting a vision with heartfelt passion, fostering an inspiring mission, and giving people a sense that their work is meaningful. The result is an organization where people feel energized, focused, and committed to shared goals—not just for a season, but for the long term.

Chapter 7: Sustaining Growth: The Journey to Lifelong Resonant Leadership

Juan Trebino, a marketing executive for the Latin American division of a major energy company, received feedback during a leadership seminar that revealed a significant gap in his abilities. As a goal-focused former engineer, he excelled at analytical thinking but needed to develop more of a coaching leadership style to inspire cooperation among his team. To grow the company's business in his region, he would need to strengthen his empathy—the ability to sense others' feelings and perspectives. Rather than viewing this feedback as criticism, Trebino embraced it as an opportunity for growth. He created a learning plan that incorporated multiple aspects of his life. At work, he scheduled informal meetings with each subordinate outside the office, where they might feel more comfortable revealing their hopes and dreams. He also sought opportunities beyond his job to practice empathy, volunteering at a local crisis center for families in trouble and coaching his daughter's soccer team. This multi-faceted approach gave Trebino numerous chances to practice his new skills. Research shows that people who experiment with new behaviors in different spheres of their lives—not just at work but also with family, church, and community groups—show the greatest improvement in emotional intelligence competencies. By being mindful of learning opportunities when they arise, Trebino accelerated his development and created lasting change. The process Trebino followed illustrates the five discoveries of self-directed learning: identifying his ideal self (who he wanted to become), assessing his real self (his current strengths and gaps), developing a learning agenda (how to build on strengths while reducing gaps), experimenting with new behaviors, and cultivating supportive relationships that made change possible. This approach works because it addresses both the cognitive and emotional aspects of learning. Neuroscience explains why this comprehensive approach is necessary. Leadership habits reside not in the thinking brain (neocortex) but in the emotional brain (limbic system). While the neocortex learns quickly through reading or lecture, the limbic system learns through practice, repetition, and feedback. To change leadership behaviors, leaders must literally rewire their brains by repeatedly practicing new responses until they become automatic. This rewiring process takes time and commitment. Studies show that mental rehearsal—vividly imagining yourself performing new behaviors successfully—can accelerate this process by activating the same brain circuits involved in actual performance. Equally important is having supportive relationships that provide honest feedback and encouragement. When leaders feel psychologically safe, they're more willing to experiment with new behaviors without fear of embarrassment or failure.

Summary

At its core, emotionally intelligent leadership is about creating resonance—a reservoir of positivity that brings out the best in people. The most effective leaders understand that their primary task is emotional: they monitor and guide the collective feelings in a positive direction. Through decades of research with thousands of executives, Goleman, Boyatzis, and McKee discovered that leaders who master the four domains of emotional intelligence—self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management—create environments where people flourish. The journey to becoming a resonant leader begins with self-discovery: understanding one's ideal self, assessing one's real strengths and gaps, creating a learning plan that builds on strengths, practicing new behaviors until they become automatic, and developing supportive relationships that make change possible. This process works because it engages both the thinking brain and the emotional brain, creating new neural pathways through repeated practice. **When leaders connect their development to their deepest values and aspirations, they find the motivation to persist through the challenging work of changing ingrained habits.** The most powerful insight from this research is that emotional intelligence can be developed at any age. The brain remains plastic throughout life, capable of forming new neural connections when we practice new behaviors consistently. By cultivating emotionally intelligent leadership throughout an organization, leaders create sustainable change that transforms not just individual careers but entire cultures. In today's complex business environment, this ability to create resonance—to lead with both heart and mind—may be the ultimate competitive advantage.

About Author

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Daniel Goleman

Author of Emotional Intelligence and psychologist Daniel Goleman has transformed the way the world educates children, relates to family and friends, and conducts business. The Wall Street Journal ranked him one of the 10 most influential business thinkers. Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence was on The New York Times best sellers list for a year-and-a-half. Named one of the 25 "Most Influential Business Management Books" by TIME, it has been translated into 40 languages. The Harvard Business Review called emotional intelligence (EI) “a revolutionary, paradigm-shattering idea.” Goleman’s new book, Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence, argues that attention — a fundamental mental ability for success — has come under siege. Leadership that gets results demands a triple focus: on our inner world so we can manage ourselves; on others, for our relationships; and on the outer forces that shape our organizations and society itself. His more recent books include The Brain and Emotional Intelligence, and Leadership: The Power of Emotional Intelligence - Selected Writings.

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