Financial Feminist

Financial Feminist Plot Summary

Introduction

I was about to become unemployed, and I had never felt better. After weeks in a toxic job where my boss constantly questioned my worth, I was finally walking away. As I handed in my resignation letter, I felt a sense of liberation wash over me. This wasn't recklessness—it was power. Why? Because I had three months of living expenses saved in an emergency fund. My past self had given my present self the ultimate gift: options. Too many women remain trapped in situations that diminish them because financial insecurity leaves them no choice. This reality reflects a broader problem: women have been systematically excluded from financial education, discouraged from discussing money, and taught that wanting financial security is somehow selfish. The result is an investing gap, a wage gap, and a wealth gap that keeps women economically vulnerable. But what if it didn't have to be this way? What if financial education could be a woman's most powerful form of protest? Through a blend of economic insights, practical advice, and genuine encouragement, this book challenges these barriers and provides a roadmap for building wealth on your own terms—not as an endpoint, but as a means to create a life of freedom, choices, and the power to help others build a more equitable world.

Chapter 1: Money Mindset: Overcoming Emotional Barriers to Financial Success

I was a sophomore in college, sitting on the floor of my friends' dorm room. We often gathered there because Gina and Alex not only were fun but also had a heater that was definitely against dorm rules. We were complaining about the high price of college when Alex mentioned something I'll never forget. Studying business and considering an MBA, she casually said that by the time she earned her undergraduate degree, she would be more than $100,000 in debt. Her bachelor's degree alone was going to put her six figures in the hole. She said this with an air of exasperation yet also blissful ignorance—we were nineteen and didn't fully understand what being $100,000 in debt actually meant. We knew it was a lot of money but had no real understanding of how this debt would impact her life, her decisions, her future. It was a concept, a number written on a piece of paper, not yet a three-dimensional, real-world problem that would eventually keep her up at night. When I share this story during workshops, it resonates deeply with so many women. We've been conditioned to believe that our relationship with money is broken, that we're "bad with money" or that financial success is for others, not us. This conditioning starts early. By age seven, most of our money habits are already formed. Think about it—what messages did you receive about money as a child? Were you taught it was impolite to discuss finances? That wanting money was somehow greedy? That investing was only for men in suits on Wall Street? These early impressions create what psychologists call "money scripts"—deeply held beliefs that subconsciously guide our financial behaviors. For many women, these scripts include shame around earning, spending, and especially desiring wealth. We're taught that our worth is tied to sacrifice, not abundance. That caring about money means we're materialistic or selfish. But here's the truth: these narratives were designed to keep us financially dependent and playing small. Financial success begins with recognizing and rewriting these limiting beliefs. When we understand that money is simply a tool—not a reflection of our character or worth—we can approach it strategically rather than emotionally. We can acknowledge that wanting financial security isn't selfish; it's self-preserving. And in a world that has systematically denied women economic power, building wealth becomes not just personal progress but a revolutionary act.

Chapter 2: Smart Spending: Value-Based Decisions Without Guilt

Without further ado, some random facts about ostriches. Did you know that ostriches have three stomachs? Did you know that ostriches can run faster than any other two-legged animal? And unlike all other birds—wait for it—ostriches have separate holes for peeing and pooping. Why are we talking about ostriches? Because there's a cognitive bias called the Ostrich Effect that perfectly describes how many people handle their finances—by burying their heads in the sand and pretending their problems don't exist. Remember that scene from New Girl where Jess discovers that her roommate-turned-boyfriend Nick tosses his unopened bills into a box in his closet? Or the scene in Parks and Recreation where Ben discovers all of April and Andy's bills stashed in the freezer? The Ostrich Effect infiltrates every aspect of our financial lives. Not checking our bank account balances. Not reviewing credit card statements. Not educating ourselves about what a 401(k) is because it's easier to just live in blissful ignorance and say, "I'm so broke, lolz." The irony is that this avoidance only makes things worse. When we don't look at our money, we can't make a plan for it. We can't see our progress or identify our patterns. It would be like saying you're going to bake a cake, but you're blindfolded, missing the recipe, and all the ingredients have labels written in hieroglyphics. Financial avoidance also prevents us from celebrating our wins—and there's nothing more motivating than seeing your debt decrease or your savings grow. Breaking this cycle starts with understanding that budgeting isn't about deprivation. It's about intentionality. I developed what I call the "3 Bucket Budget" because traditional budgeting methods felt too restrictive. Bucket #1 is for necessities—rent, groceries, insurance, utilities. Bucket #2 is for financial goals—emergency savings, debt repayment, retirement. Bucket #3 is for everything else—the fun stuff that makes life worth living. This approach ensures you're taking care of both present and future you, while still enjoying life along the way. The key to transforming your relationship with money isn't spending less—it's spending mindfully on what truly matters to you. You don't have to stop spending money. You just have to stop spending money on things you don't actually care about. When you align your spending with your values, money becomes a source of joy rather than stress.

Chapter 3: The Financial Game Plan: Building Your Foundation

It's the first week of March 2020, in the "Before Times." I'm on a solo trip to New York City after splurging on the ultimate gift to myself: front-row mezzanine tickets to Moulin Rouge! on Broadway. I have a free afternoon, so I'm walking around the financial district down by the water, when I realize: I'm a finance expert and I haven't seen the Wall Street bull since I was a child. For those unfamiliar, Charging Bull is a brutish, broad bronze sculpture that has been guarding the New York Stock Exchange since 1989. As I walked up, I saw the normal line of tourists, but they were doing something strange. They were touching the bull's testicles. I had forgotten about this Wall Street lore: that if you rub the sculpture's testicles, you will receive good fortune and financial prosperity. The bull's balls are even a noticeably lighter color than the rest of its body, from all the oil on people's hands. The symbol for financial progress, in the country's epicenter for wealth, is a massive masculine symbol that offers security in exchange for a scrotum stroke. So no wonder many women don't feel investing is for them. If I had a nickel for every time someone commented on one of my social media posts, "I want to start investing, but I'm intimidated," I'd have dozens of $100Ks. We talk about the pay gap a lot (as we should), but what we don't talk about as much is the investing gap. Women either wait longer than men to invest or do not invest at all. This costs us millions over our lifetimes and limits our options, including the ability to stop working someday. One reason is that traditional financial advice has been gatekept by straight white men who use intimidating jargon to make investing seem complex when it's actually quite simple. The truth is that investing doesn't have to be complicated or scary. The cardinal rule? Investing shouldn't be sexy. The flashy stuff (crypto, day trading, hot stocks) is, at best, speculative, and at worst, gambling. Smart investing is consistent, stable, and sustained over time. If you put your money in the stock market for only one day, your odds of making money are 50 percent. But if you invest for twenty or more years, historically, your odds increase to 100 percent. This is a long game we're playing, and time in the market beats timing the market every time.

Chapter 4: Investing for Future You: Growing Wealth for Independence

Meet twenty-one-year-old Tori. Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, I had just graduated college with dual degrees in organizational communication and theater. When I dreamed of my career, I imagined a high-profile marketing job in the city, where I wore a pantsuit and heels and commuted with a coffee in hand. I dreamed of being a VP of marketing by age thirty, working my way up the corporate ladder until I conquered the world. Within two weeks at my first corporate job, that Technicolor dream started to fade. Although it was a fantastic position in terms of experience for my résumé—I was the youngest manager at a global Fortune 500 company—I was getting to see how the sausage was made. And it was not pretty. The culture was a mess of alcohol abuse and sexual misconduct, with a manipulative but disingenuous "we're not coworkers, we're family" mind-set. I hated helping to make someone I didn't respect rich. I hated contributing to a company that didn't share my values. But, then, I hated the whole nine-to-five life. I knew I wanted something different, but I also knew I couldn't just quit without a plan. So I started building my financial foundation on the side while still working my day job. I automated my savings, contributing a set amount from each paycheck to my emergency fund, retirement accounts, and eventually, investment accounts. I set a goal to save $100,000 by age twenty-five—not because I wanted to be rich, but because I wanted options. This approach to investing wasn't about getting rich quick; it was about creating freedom for my future self. I learned that investing is the thing that actually makes you rich—not saving, not earning a high salary (though that helps), but consistently putting money into assets that grow over time. The magic ingredient isn't a large amount of money but time. If you invested only $100 a month for thirty years—$36,000 total—you'd end up with around $185,000 thanks to compound interest. Many women avoid investing because they think they need thousands of dollars to start or that they need to understand complex market strategies. But the truth is you can start with just a few hundred dollars, and you don't need to pick individual stocks. Simple index funds that track the entire market are less risky and historically outperform actively managed funds. They're also low-fee, which means more of your money stays yours. This isn't about becoming the next Wolf of Wall Street—it's about building a financial foundation that gives you choices. The greatest gift you can give your future self is starting to invest now, even if it's a small amount. Future You will be drinking a sauvignon blanc with lunch, living wherever you want, and doing whatever brings you joy—instead of being forced to work until you physically can't anymore.

Chapter 5: Earning Your Worth: Negotiation and Income Strategies

I was sitting across from a potential client, palms sweating as I prepared to quote my freelance rate. I had researched industry standards, calculated my expenses, and knew exactly what I should charge for the project. But as the moment arrived, I heard myself quoting a number that was 30 percent lower than what I had planned. Why? Because in that crucial moment, I succumbed to the belief that asking for what I was worth might make me seem "difficult" or "ungrateful" for the opportunity. This scenario plays out for women every day, whether they're negotiating a new job offer, asking for a raise, or setting rates as entrepreneurs. We've been conditioned to believe that advocating for ourselves financially is somehow impolite or aggressive. The result? Women who don't negotiate their salaries miss out on more than $1 million during their lifetimes compared with women who do. When I share this statistic in workshops, I reframe it: "Are you willing to lose out on $1 million just to avoid a handful of uncomfortable conversations?" That usually gets people's attention. Negotiation isn't a conflict; it's a collaboration. You and your employer or client are on the same team, working to solve the problem of you not being compensated fairly. Approaching it with this mindset transforms the entire experience. The key to successful negotiation is preparation. Before any compensation discussion, you need to understand your market value based on industry research and your unique contributions. Sites like Glassdoor provide helpful starting points, but the most valuable information comes from talking directly with colleagues, former bosses, recruiters, and others in your field. Ask them, "Based on my experience and skills, what should someone in this role be earning?" Remember: your worth isn't determined by what you currently make or what you think you need to cover your bills. It's determined by the value you bring to an organization. When you negotiate from this position—with specific examples of your achievements and contributions—you transform the conversation from "Please give me more money" to "Here's why investing more in me benefits us both." Perhaps the most powerful negotiation strategy I've learned is this: never give a number first. When asked about salary expectations, redirect with something like, "It's hard to understand the full scope of the role at this stage, so I'd love to know your budget for this position." Nine times out of ten, they'll tell you the range, giving you the upper hand in the negotiation dance. Negotiation is a muscle that strengthens with use. Start with low-stakes situations—like calling your credit card company to request a lower interest rate—and work your way up to those million-dollar conversations. Your future self will thank you.

Chapter 6: Living a Financial Feminist Life: Action and Impact

"When you have all you need, build a longer table—not a higher fence." This quote perfectly captures the essence of financial feminism. It's not just about accumulating wealth for yourself; it's about creating abundance that allows you to help others. But crucially, you have to secure your own financial oxygen mask first before you can assist those around you. I met Alexis at a financial workshop I was hosting in Seattle. During the networking session afterward, she pulled me aside with tears in her eyes. "I've been supporting my parents financially for years," she told me. "They sacrificed everything for my education, and now it's my turn to help them. But I have no retirement savings, no emergency fund, and I'm drowning in student debt." Alexis was caught in what I call the "sandwich generation squeeze"—caring for aging parents while trying to build her own financial foundation. This situation is particularly common for women of color, who are often their family's primary financial support system. The weight of this responsibility, combined with systemic barriers like the wage gap and lending discrimination, creates a perfect storm that perpetuates cycles of financial insecurity. But Alexis's story doesn't end there. Together, we created a plan that allowed her to support her parents while also building her own financial security—starting with small, automated retirement contributions that her parents didn't even know about because she felt so guilty "putting herself first." Six months later, Alexis emailed me: "For the first time in my life, I have $5,000 in an emergency fund AND I'm still helping my parents. I never thought both were possible." This is the power of financial feminism in action—rejecting the false choice between caring for others and caring for yourself. Living a financial feminist life means making your money decisions align with your values. It means talking openly about money with friends and family to break the taboo that keeps us all in the dark. It means using your purchasing power to support businesses owned by women and people of color. And it means using your growing financial knowledge to advocate for systemic change—from equal pay policies at your workplace to broader economic justice movements. Financial feminism works through what I call the Four Ds: Discussion (talking openly about money), Donation (supporting causes that promote equity), Decision (voting with your dollars and your ballot), and Development (committing to lifelong financial education for yourself and others). These actions, when practiced consistently, create ripples that extend far beyond your own bank account.

Summary

Financial feminism isn't about accumulating wealth for wealth's sake. It's about recognizing that in a world designed to keep women financially dependent, building economic power becomes a revolutionary act. Throughout these chapters, we've explored how overcoming emotional barriers to money, spending mindfully based on our values, creating a solid financial foundation, investing for the future, and earning what we're worth all contribute to a life of greater freedom and impact. The path to financial confidence isn't always linear. There will be setbacks, mistakes, and moments when it all feels overwhelming. But remember that perfection isn't the goal—progress is. Small, consistent actions compound over time, just like interest in your investment accounts. Start where you are, with what you have. Open that high-yield savings account with just $100. Increase your retirement contribution by 1 percent. Have one uncomfortable conversation about your salary. Each step, however small, moves you closer to financial independence and the ability to create change in the world around you. In the words shared earlier: when you have all you need, you can build a longer table instead of a higher fence—inviting others to share in your abundance and working together to tear down the barriers that stand in our collective way.

About Author

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Tori Dunlap

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