Good Morning, Monster

Good Morning, Monster Plot Summary

Introduction

In the harsh winter of 1965, a five-year-old Cree boy stood trembling before a Catholic priest at a Canadian residential school. For saying "tanisi" - hello in his native language - to his sister across the playground, young Danny Morrison received a beating so severe it left both physical and psychological scars that would last a lifetime. This moment marked the beginning of thirteen years of systematic cultural erasure, where Danny would be taught to despise his Indigenous identity while enduring unimaginable abuse. Yet somehow, beneath the weight of this trauma, something indomitable in his spirit refused to be crushed. Danny Morrison's journey represents one of the most profound examples of human resilience in the face of cultural genocide. As a survivor of Canada's notorious residential school system, his story illuminates the devastating impact of forced assimilation policies on Indigenous peoples, while simultaneously demonstrating the extraordinary capacity of the human spirit to heal. Through Danny's experiences, we witness the complex process of reclaiming cultural identity after systematic erasure, the power of spiritual reconnection in healing trauma, and the courage required to confront painful memories while building a meaningful life. His path from disconnection to wholeness offers profound insights into how individuals can recover from even the most devastating childhood experiences.

Chapter 1: The Breaking of Identity: Residential School Trauma

Danny Morrison's early childhood was marked by the stark contrast between two worlds. Until age five, he lived with his parents and sister Rose in northern Canada, where they maintained a traditional Cree lifestyle centered around hunting, trapping, and living in harmony with the natural environment. His father was a skilled trapper who taught Danny to track animals and respect the land. These formative years provided Danny with a foundation of cultural knowledge and a sense of belonging within his family and community. This world was shattered when government authorities forcibly removed Danny and his sister from their parents and placed them in a residential school thousands of miles from home. The stated purpose of these institutions, operated by religious organizations under government mandate, was to "kill the Indian in the child" - a deliberate policy of cultural genocide. Upon arrival, Danny's long braids were cut off, his traditional clothing was replaced with a uniform, and he was assigned a number instead of using his name. Speaking his native Cree language was strictly forbidden, with severe physical punishment for any infractions. The trauma of separation was compounded by the harsh conditions at the school. Children were chronically underfed, forced to perform manual labor, and subjected to rigid discipline. Danny recalled how students would sometimes die from disease, malnutrition, or suicide, their deaths barely acknowledged by the staff. The emotional impact was devastating - children were taught to be ashamed of their Indigenous identity while simultaneously being treated as inherently inferior to their white counterparts. This systematic dehumanization created profound confusion about self-worth and identity. Most devastating was the sexual abuse Danny endured at the hands of those entrusted with his care. From age seven, he was repeatedly molested by a priest who had initially shown him kindness and attention - a particularly insidious betrayal that left Danny unable to trust positive relationships. To survive this ongoing trauma, Danny developed a profound emotional numbness, describing himself as "frozen" - unable to feel or express emotions. This psychological defense mechanism allowed him to endure the unendurable but would later create significant challenges in forming meaningful connections with others. Despite these horrific experiences, Danny maintained small acts of resistance. He continued to wear his hair in braids as an adult - a visible symbol of the Indigenous identity he refused to surrender completely. And in the depths of his psyche, he preserved fragments of his cultural heritage through dreams of animal spirits and connections to the natural world. These remnants of his true self would eventually become the foundation for his healing journey decades later.

Chapter 2: Frozen Emotions: The Survival Strategy

Danny Morrison's emotional numbness wasn't a choice but a necessary adaptation for survival. In the face of repeated trauma at residential school, his psyche developed a remarkable defense mechanism - the ability to completely shut down his feelings. As he described it, "I don't need joy," a statement that revealed both the depth of his detachment and the profound loss it represented. This emotional freezing allowed him to function in a world that had become unbearably painful, but it came at a tremendous cost to his capacity for human connection. The consequences of this emotional numbing became apparent in Danny's adult life. After leaving residential school, he found work as a long-haul truck driver, a profession that suited his preference for solitude. He excelled at his job, becoming the company's most reliable driver, known for his ability to track his environment and protect valuable cargo. His hypervigilance - a common symptom of PTSD - made him exceptionally good at detecting potential threats. Yet this same vigilance kept him perpetually on edge, unable to relax or trust others. His marriage to Berit, a nurse he met after being hospitalized following a bar fight, revealed the extent of his emotional disconnection. Though they had a daughter, Lillian, Danny remained unable to express affection or engage in physical closeness. He couldn't hold his daughter on his lap without experiencing flashbacks to his abuse. The simple acts of family intimacy that others take for granted became sources of profound anxiety. When Berit and Lillian died in a car accident, Danny processed their deaths with the same emotional detachment that had protected him as a child - acknowledging the loss intellectually while remaining unable to access his grief. This emotional freezing extended to Danny's relationship with his own cultural identity. Though he maintained his braids as a visible connection to his Indigenous heritage, he had internalized much of the shame instilled by the residential school system. He avoided other Indigenous people and communities, feeling neither fully at home in white society nor connected to his Native roots. The cultural genocide perpetrated against him had created a profound sense of displacement - he existed in a liminal space between worlds, belonging fully to neither. Perhaps most telling was Danny's response to physical pain. When he was slashed with a knife in a bar fight, he simply bandaged himself and returned to work the next day, ignoring the infection until it became life-threatening. This casual dismissal of his own suffering reflected a man who had learned to dissociate from physical and emotional pain so completely that he barely registered its existence. His body might be present, but his ability to feel had been buried beneath layers of protective numbness.

Chapter 3: Confronting Family Wounds and Intergenerational Trauma

After decades of emotional disconnection, Danny's journey toward healing began with the painful process of confronting his family wounds. At the urging of his therapist, he made the difficult decision to visit his father and younger brothers on the reservation - a place he hadn't seen in nearly twenty years. The journey required multiple modes of transportation: flying in by helicopter, then traveling by all-terrain vehicle across frozen terrain. This physical journey mirrored the emotional distance Danny had maintained from his past. What he found was devastating. The once-proud trapper who had taught Danny the ways of the land was now an alcoholic with a bloated appearance, living in squalid conditions. The reservation itself reflected the systematic destruction of Indigenous ways of life - instead of the traditional hunting and trapping territories, families were crowded into poorly constructed government housing, dependent on welfare after being stripped of their livelihoods. Danny's younger brothers, born after he was taken to residential school, had grown up in this environment of despair, becoming alcoholics themselves at a young age. The reunion was fraught with tension. Danny's father barely recognized him at first, then seemed surprised that Danny had maintained his braids - a subtle acknowledgment that his son had resisted complete assimilation. His brothers, who had never really known Danny, treated him with suspicion and hostility, mocking him as someone who had abandoned his family and community. They called him a "lone wolf" and accused him of only returning because their father was dying. The underlying message was clear: Danny was no longer considered truly Indigenous by his own family. This painful encounter forced Danny to confront a devastating truth - the residential school system had not only traumatized him individually but had fractured his entire family across generations. His parents, devastated by the kidnapping of their children, had turned to alcohol to numb their pain. His younger brothers, raised by these traumatized parents, had never experienced a functional family life. The government's policies had created a cycle of intergenerational trauma that continued to ripple through Indigenous communities. The visit triggered a profound depression in Danny. He described himself as "a man without a country or an identity," caught between worlds and belonging nowhere. For the first time, he expressed suicidal thoughts, questioning whether life was worth living. This crisis represented both danger and opportunity - the protective emotional numbness was beginning to thaw, allowing both pain and the possibility of healing to emerge. Though deeply painful, this confrontation with family wounds was a necessary step in Danny's journey toward reclaiming his authentic self.

Chapter 4: Battling Internal Voices: Overcoming Internalized Oppression

One of the most insidious aspects of Danny's residential school experience was the internalization of his abusers' voices. Like many survivors of severe childhood trauma, he had absorbed the negative messages directed at him, creating what his therapist called "Art tapes" - named after the residential school where the abuse occurred. These internal recordings played continuously in Danny's mind, telling him he was worthless, stupid, and deserving of punishment. The tapes represented the ultimate success of the residential school system - Danny had become his own oppressor, continuing the work of cultural genocide long after leaving the institution. The content of these tapes was revealed during therapy sessions when Danny described how certain situations would trigger overwhelming self-hatred. When he received recognition at work, the tapes would scream that he was a "fucking phony." When he tried to connect with others, the tapes would insist he was unworthy of love. Most painfully, when he attempted to parent his daughter, the tapes would convince him that he was dangerous and should keep his distance. These internal messages maintained Danny's isolation more effectively than any external barrier could have done. Challenging these tapes became a central focus of Danny's therapy. His therapist helped him recognize that these were not his authentic thoughts but the internalized voices of his abusers. Together, they worked to identify the origins of specific messages and to question their validity. This process was painstaking, requiring Danny to examine beliefs so deeply embedded that they had seemed like unquestionable truths. For a man who had survived by avoiding introspection, this represented a profound shift in his relationship with himself. A breakthrough came when Danny was able to distinguish between the voice of his abuser and his own authentic voice. During one session, he recalled a moment when his father had mocked his 4-H club medals, calling them "cow medals" and making mooing noises. At his therapist's suggestion, Danny imagined what his father might have said if he could have expressed his true feelings without shame or alcohol. Speaking in his father's voice, Danny articulated the pain of a man who had lost his traditional livelihood, his children, and his dignity to colonization. This exercise allowed Danny to see his father's cruelty as a manifestation of trauma rather than a reflection of his own worth. As Danny progressed in therapy, he began developing counternarratives to challenge the Art tapes. When the tapes told him he was worthless, he could now recall his success as a truck driver and his courage in facing his past. When the tapes told him he was dangerous, he could remember that he had never perpetuated the cycle of abuse with his own daughter. These alternative narratives didn't immediately silence the tapes, but they created space for Danny to consider other possibilities about himself and his value as a human being.

Chapter 5: Reclaiming Native Identity Through Language and Ceremony

The journey to reclaim his Native identity represented perhaps the most profound challenge of Danny's healing process. After thirteen years of systematic cultural erasure at residential school, where speaking Cree resulted in beatings and Indigenous spiritual practices were condemned as savage, Danny had developed a complex relationship with his heritage. He maintained visible markers of his identity through his braids, yet avoided deeper cultural connections that might trigger painful memories. The residential school had created a profound disconnect between Danny's external appearance and his internal sense of self. The turning point came when Danny reluctantly visited the Native Canadian Centre in Toronto to purchase a gift. There, he discovered they offered Cree language classes twice weekly. Despite initial resistance, Danny signed up, surprising himself when he recognized words he thought had been beaten out of him. This small step opened a door to reconnection that had seemed permanently closed. As he later explained to his therapist, "I guess I remembered more than I thought." This moment represented a profound realization - the residential school had damaged but not destroyed his connection to his heritage. Language became the bridge back to Danny's cultural identity. As he relearned Cree, memories of his early childhood began to resurface - not just the trauma of separation, but also the loving teachings of his parents before he was taken away. Words carried cultural concepts that had no direct English equivalents, offering Danny access to ways of understanding the world that had been systematically suppressed. Each recovered word represented an act of resistance against the cultural genocide that had been perpetrated against him and his people. With growing confidence, Danny began participating in Indigenous healing ceremonies. He attended a sweat lodge where men shared their experiences of residential school trauma in a sacred space. For the first time, Danny realized he wasn't alone in his suffering - that what had happened to him was part of a deliberate policy affecting thousands of Indigenous children. This collective understanding helped transform his personal pain into a shared experience of historical trauma, reducing the isolation that had defined much of his life. The pipe ceremony and smudging rituals became regular practices that helped Danny center himself and connect with spiritual dimensions of existence. He described how smudging forced him to think about each day's energy and set him on the right path every morning. These practices provided structure and meaning that had been absent from his life, helping him develop a more integrated sense of self. The spiritual reconnection was as important as the psychological healing - addressing dimensions of human experience that conventional therapy couldn't reach.

Chapter 6: Finding Love After Trauma: The Healing Power of Connection

For most of his adult life, Danny had avoided meaningful relationships. His marriage to Berit had been characterized by emotional distance, and after her death, he limited himself to occasional one-night stands. The trauma of his childhood sexual abuse had created a profound fear of intimacy - physical closeness triggered memories of violation, while emotional vulnerability seemed impossibly dangerous. Love represented a risk Danny couldn't imagine taking. This changed when he met Sasina, an Ojibwe woman who worked at the Native Canadian Centre's book exchange. Like Danny, she had experienced the intergenerational impacts of residential schools - her parents had attended the institutions and later became alcoholics. She and her brother had been part of the "Sixties Scoop," when Indigenous children were adopted out to white families. Despite these painful parallels, Sasina had maintained a stronger connection to her cultural identity, actively participating in Indigenous community events and working as a social worker at a children's hospital. Their relationship developed slowly, beginning as a friendship based on shared interests and experiences. Danny appreciated that Sasina was "calm" and "liked a quiet man" - qualities that made him feel accepted rather than pressured to perform emotionally. With her, he could "just be a Native with no explanations," a profound relief after decades of navigating white society. This foundation of mutual understanding created space for Danny to gradually lower his defenses. Physical intimacy presented significant challenges. When Sasina once sat on Danny's lap, it triggered memories of abuse. In a breakthrough moment, Danny was able to communicate his discomfort directly: "I don't like people to sit on my lap. It reminds me of really bad stuff at residential school." This honest acknowledgment of his boundaries - something he'd never managed with Berit - allowed Sasina to understand and respect his needs without taking his reaction personally. Danny described this moment as "frightening" but necessary if they were to avoid growing apart. As their relationship deepened, Danny and Sasina created a shared life that honored both their individual healing journeys and their cultural heritage. They practiced smudging together each morning, attended Indigenous events as a couple, and supported each other's reconnection with traditional practices. Sasina's brother became part of their extended family circle, providing Danny with male friendship and companionship he had long avoided. This growing network of relationships helped Danny develop trust in incremental steps. Perhaps most significantly, Danny's relationship with Sasina helped him integrate the fragmented parts of his identity. With her, he could be simultaneously Indigenous and contemporary, traumatized and healing, vulnerable and strong. The compartmentalization that had been necessary for survival gradually gave way to a more cohesive sense of self. Though Danny would always carry the scars of his past, he was no longer defined solely by his trauma.

Chapter 7: The Hunter Returns: Spiritual Reconnection and Becoming an Elder

The culmination of Danny's healing journey came through his reconnection with traditional hunting practices. For the Cree people, hunting was not merely a subsistence activity but a spiritual practice that embodied their relationship with the land and their cultural values. When Danny joined a hunting party that included Sasina's brother, he experienced a profound reintegration of his fragmented identity. As he lay in wait for a moose in minus-forty temperatures - conditions that had defeated the other hunters - ancient knowledge returned to him unbidden. This hunting expedition represented far more than a recreational activity. As Danny tracked the moose through the snow, he recalled the techniques his father had taught him as a small child - knowledge he thought had been erased by his residential school experience. The patience required to wait motionless for days, the ability to read subtle signs in the environment, the respect for the animal being hunted - all these elements of traditional Cree hunting practices had remained dormant within him, waiting to be reawakened. When he successfully made the kill, providing meat for the group, Danny experienced a sense of cultural belonging that had eluded him for decades. The spiritual dimension of this reconnection was equally significant. For the first time since he was five years old, Danny felt "the spirits were with him" - a profound shift from the religious shame instilled by the residential school. Traditional Cree spirituality views hunting as a sacred relationship between humans and animals, where the hunter must approach his task with humility and gratitude. By participating in this ancient practice, Danny was able to access spiritual resources that had been systematically denied to him as a child. This experience catalyzed a transformation in Danny's role within the Indigenous community. Having reclaimed his own connection to traditional knowledge, he began mentoring others in their spiritual journeys. People sought him out for guidance in healing ceremonies, recognizing the depth of wisdom he had gained through his own suffering and recovery. Danny had moved from isolation to becoming a valued elder - someone who could help others navigate the complex process of cultural reclamation after generations of attempted erasure. The hunting trip also marked a significant shift in Danny's relationship with his past. Rather than seeing his childhood before residential school as irretrievably lost, he now recognized that those early teachings had remained within him, preserved despite systematic attempts to destroy them. This realization allowed him to reconnect not only with traditional practices but also with positive memories of his father - the skilled trapper who had patiently taught his son the ways of the land before they were separated. This more nuanced understanding of his family history helped Danny integrate his past into a more coherent life narrative. When his therapist saw Danny for the last time, she observed a man transformed. The frozen emotional state that had characterized him for decades had given way to a vibrant presence. When he smiled, showing all his straight white teeth, it was a smile his therapist had never seen before - one that reflected genuine joy rather than social performance. Danny had completed the hero's journey from trauma through healing to wisdom, emerging not unchanged but authentically whole.

Summary

Danny Morrison's journey from the frozen emotional wasteland of residential school trauma to becoming a spiritual guide for others embodies the extraordinary resilience of the human spirit. His story illuminates how healing from cultural genocide requires not just psychological recovery but spiritual and cultural reconnection. Through painstaking therapy, community support, and courageous self-examination, Danny transformed from a man who believed he "didn't need joy" to one who could experience the profound satisfaction of reclaiming his heritage and helping others do the same. The wisdom Danny's journey offers extends beyond Indigenous communities to anyone seeking to heal from profound trauma. His experience demonstrates that recovery doesn't mean erasing painful histories but integrating them into a more complete understanding of oneself. It shows how seemingly destroyed cultural connections can remain dormant, waiting to be reawakened when safety allows. And perhaps most importantly, it reveals that even those who have suffered the most systematic attempts to destroy their identity can find their way back to authenticity and purpose. In a world still grappling with the legacies of colonization and cultural oppression, Danny's transformation from survivor to healer offers a powerful testament to the possibility of reclaiming what was thought to be irretrievably lost.

About Author

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Catherine Gildiner

Catherine has written two best selling memoirs. The first is called TOO CLOSE TO THE FALLS and was on the best seller's lists for two years. It is about working full time from the age of four.Her next memoir AFTER THE FALLS covers her teenage and college years where she got involved in civil rights and was investigated by the FBI.COMING ASHORE, her final memoir is coming out this fall. It is about her years at Oxford, The U.S. and finally Canada. This book shares the joy of those few years in your twenties after you leave home and before Adult responsibilities crowd in.She has also written a novel, SEDUCTION, a thriller about Darwin and Freud. It was chosen by DER SPIEGAL as one of the ten best mysteries.She is a unique writer in that she was a psychologist for many years and only became a writer at the age of 50. Shows anything is possible.She lives in Toronto with her husband and has three grown sons.

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