How Am I Doing?

How Am I Doing? Plot Summary

Introduction

In the competitive world of professional sports, where physical prowess often takes center stage, Dr. Corey Yeager stands as a remarkable figure who brings a different kind of strength to the court. As the psychotherapist for the Detroit Pistons, Yeager combines his deep understanding of human psychology with his background in athletics to create a unique approach to coaching and therapy. His journey from a football-playing youth in Kansas to becoming a respected therapist, educator, and advocate represents a powerful story of transformation and purpose. Through intentional conversation and genuine connection, Yeager has developed a therapeutic approach that resonates with athletes, students, and individuals seeking authentic change in their lives. Yeager's philosophy centers on the power of awareness as the first step toward personal growth. Rather than focusing on behavior modification, he encourages deep introspection and self-discovery, helping individuals understand the root causes of their challenges. His narrative-solution focused therapy emphasizes the importance of getting to the core of issues rather than simply addressing surface-level symptoms. Throughout his career, Yeager has demonstrated how vulnerability can become a pathway to freedom, how authenticity can lead to deeper connections, and how intentional self-reflection can transform not only one's own life but also the lives of those around them. His story teaches us that by becoming the authors of our own narratives, we gain the power to create lives of purpose, fulfillment, and positive impact.

Chapter 1: Early Roots: From Football Dreams to Inner Discovery

Corey Yeager's story begins in Arkansas City, Kansas, where he grew up in a tight-knit community that valued collective support and kinship. Despite being in a predominantly white town, Yeager found strength in his small African American community, where neighbors became family and support systems extended beyond blood relations. His grandmother, whom everyone called Granny Georgie, was particularly influential in his early development. She recognized a special gift in young Corey – the gift of discernment – and encouraged him to develop this natural ability to observe patterns and understand people. From an early age, Yeager showed promise as an athlete. His physical stature and natural abilities on the football field led many to predict a professional career for him. This external validation shaped his self-perception, and football became his primary identity. He pursued this path through high school and into college, where he was recruited to play at Long Beach State. During these years, Yeager admits he prioritized athletics over academics, confident that his future lay in professional football. The dream seemed within reach as he progressed to workouts with NFL teams and even signed a contract with a semipro league. However, fate had other plans. When Yeager wasn't selected in the NFL draft, his carefully constructed identity crumbled. The fumble, as he describes it, wasn't just a professional setback but an existential crisis. For five years following this disappointment, Yeager drifted from job to job, searching for a new purpose and sense of self. This period of uncertainty, while painful, created space for reflection and redirection that would eventually lead him to his true calling. This transitional phase taught Yeager an important lesson about authorship and identity. Throughout his youth, he had allowed others to write his story – coaches, recruiters, and family members who saw his physical abilities as his defining characteristic. The end of his football career forced him to confront the question of who he truly was beyond these external definitions and expectations. It was during this time that he began to develop a deeper understanding of his own values, strengths, and potential contributions to the world. The seeds of Yeager's future as a therapist were planted in these early experiences. His natural ability to connect with others, his understanding of team dynamics from sports, and his firsthand experience with identity crisis and transformation all contributed to his unique approach to psychology. While his football dreams didn't materialize as expected, the journey taught him invaluable lessons about resilience, authenticity, and the importance of becoming the author of one's own life story – themes that would later become central to his therapeutic practice.

Chapter 2: Finding Purpose Through Pain and Education

The turning point in Yeager's life came in his mid-thirties when he was working at Ford Motor Company. Though he had found stability in this physical job that aligned with his self-image as "a strong, physical guy," his wife saw something more in him. She persistently encouraged him to pursue higher education, a suggestion that initially seemed foreign to Yeager, who had never completed his undergraduate degree. Her belief in his intellectual potential challenged the untruth he had been telling himself – that his value and abilities were primarily physical rather than intellectual. When Ford closed its plant, Yeager was offered either a substantial payout or funding to return to school. Taking a leap of faith, he chose education. This decision marked the beginning of an extraordinary academic journey that would take him from night classes after ten-hour shifts at Ford to eventually earning a PhD from one of the top programs in the world. He became the first person in his family to earn a bachelor's degree and went on to become the first Black male in twenty-six years to complete a PhD in his department. Throughout this process, Yeager discovered that his mind was as powerful as his body had ever been. The academic world presented unique challenges for Yeager as a Black man. He faced what W.E.B. DuBois described as "double-consciousness" – participating in the predominantly white culture of academia while simultaneously being marginalized by it. Yeager reframed his academic pursuit as a quest: he would enter the "ivory tower," learn its secrets, and translate that knowledge into meaningful impact for his community. This perspective allowed him to maintain his integrity and cultural identity while navigating institutional structures that sometimes felt at odds with his background and values. During his studies, Yeager discovered his passion for psychology, particularly community psychology and systems thinking. These frameworks gave him terminology for patterns and interactions he had intuitively understood throughout his life. His dissertation focused on understanding the plight of African American relationships, with particular attention to the impact of racialized systems and structures. When members of his dissertation committee suggested that race was not relevant to his field of study, Yeager stood his ground, eventually changing his committee rather than compromising on what he knew to be a cornerstone of his work. Through education, Yeager transformed his pain into purpose. The loss of his football career, the struggle to redefine himself, and the challenges he faced as a Black man in academia all contributed to his development as a psychotherapist with a unique perspective. His personal experience with major life transitions gave him empathy for those navigating their own changes and challenges. By embracing education despite initial doubts, Yeager not only changed the trajectory of his own life but also positioned himself to help others understand and author their own stories.

Chapter 3: The Power of Intentional Conversation and Reflection

At the heart of Dr. Yeager's approach to therapy and personal growth lies what he calls "intentional conversation." For him, therapy isn't a formal, clinical exchange but rather a dynamic dialogue where humor, openness, and curiosity create a playground of possibility. This conversational approach breaks down barriers, creating a space where vulnerability becomes possible and where both participants might stumble upon unexpected insights or what Yeager calls "magic." Yeager places tremendous value on the mirror as a tool for self-reflection and growth. He encourages looking in the mirror not merely as a physical act but as an opportunity to see oneself as a separate person, to engage in conversation with that reflection, and to ask challenging questions. Through this practice, individuals can test out their value systems, try on different choices, and imagine how they might play out. The mirror becomes a safe space to improvise, to have conversations with oneself about who one wants to be, and to practice inhabiting that new role. Central to Yeager's philosophy is the concept of awareness as the foundation for all personal growth. He explains that many thoughts and feelings operate below the surface, in what psychologists call the subconscious. Like a theatrical production, our consciousness represents the front stage where actors perform, while the subconscious is the backstage where all the preparation and scene changes occur. Yeager's goal is to help people access what's happening backstage, bringing subconscious patterns, beliefs, and emotions into conscious awareness where they can be examined and, if necessary, changed. Yeager emphasizes the importance of asking "why" as a tool for self-discovery. By repeatedly questioning the reasons behind our emotional responses, choices, and patterns, we can begin to uncover the root systems that shape our lives. This approach differs from behavior modification, which Yeager likens to mowing dandelions rather than pulling them up by the roots. While behavior modification might create temporary improvement, Yeager's narrative-solution focused therapy aims for lasting change by addressing the underlying causes of issues rather than just their symptoms. The power of this reflective practice extends beyond therapy sessions into daily life. Yeager teaches his clients, including professional athletes, to incorporate intentional moments throughout their day. Something as brief as twenty-three seconds – the time between a foul call and a free throw in basketball – can be used to center oneself, regulate breathing, and prepare mentally for what comes next. These micro-moments of mindfulness and intention, practiced consistently, create a habit of awareness that transforms how individuals navigate challenges and opportunities in all areas of life.

Chapter 4: Becoming a Therapeutic Voice in Professional Sports

Dr. Yeager's entry into the world of professional sports as a therapist represents a unique convergence of his two passions: athletics and psychology. As the psychotherapist for the Detroit Pistons, he brings a distinctive approach that breaks the traditional mold of mental health support in sports. Rather than operating from a clinical distance, Yeager creates relationships based on genuine connection and presence. His casual greeting of "How you livin'? You good?" creates immediate accessibility, while his willingness to be available day or night demonstrates his commitment to the players' wellbeing. Within the high-pressure environment of professional basketball, Yeager helps players understand that their performance on the court is connected to their mental and emotional state off the court. He encourages athletes to recognize that they are more than their athletic identity – they are complete human beings with multiple roles and relationships. This holistic perspective allows players to bring their full selves to both their professional and personal lives, rather than compartmentalizing different aspects of their identity. One of Yeager's distinctive therapeutic techniques is his use of visualization and mental rehearsal. He works with players to mentally prepare for upcoming challenges, whether that's the second half of a game or a difficult conversation. By playing out different scenarios in their minds, athletes develop the flexibility and preparedness to respond effectively regardless of how situations unfold. This "directed, imaginative space" helps players develop both confidence and adaptability, two qualities essential for peak performance. Yeager's presence on the sidelines also challenges traditional notions of masculinity in sports. By normalizing conversations about emotions, vulnerability, and mental health, he creates permission for athletes to acknowledge and address these aspects of their experience. When players struggle with anger, for example, Yeager helps them recognize that anger is often a secondary emotion masking more primary feelings like disappointment or sadness. This awareness gives players greater control over their emotional responses and helps them channel their feelings more constructively. The impact of Yeager's work extends beyond individual players to shape team culture. By modeling authenticity, vulnerability, and intentional communication, he influences how team members interact with each other and with coaching staff. His emphasis on being present and engaged in each moment transfers from therapy sessions to practice sessions to game situations, creating a more mindful and connected team environment. Through his role with the Pistons, Yeager demonstrates that attending to mental and emotional wellbeing isn't just about addressing problems – it's about optimizing performance and fostering healthier, more fulfilling careers and lives.

Chapter 5: Building Community Through Authentic Connection

Dr. Yeager's approach to building community is deeply rooted in his upbringing, where he experienced what the African American community calls "fictive kinships" – family bonds that extend beyond blood relations. Growing up in Kansas, he witnessed how his grandparents and parents always welcomed people into their homes, creating extended family networks that provided support and belonging. This collectivist mindset taught Yeager that community is something to be intentionally cultivated through genuine connection and care. In his professional life, Yeager demonstrates this community-building approach through his interactions with everyone he encounters. Whether speaking with the team's bus driver, the arena janitor, or the star player, he approaches each person with the same respect and curiosity. This practice reflects a value his father instilled in him early on – to be as kind to the janitor as to the CEO, or even kinder. By treating every person as inherently valuable, Yeager creates an atmosphere of inclusion and mutual respect that forms the foundation for authentic community. Yeager's work with the Office of Black Male Student Achievement in Minneapolis public schools exemplifies his commitment to creating supportive communities for those who need them most. Working alongside director Michael Walker, Yeager helped develop programs that provided Black male students with "real models" – accessible mentors they could actually interact with, as opposed to distant "role models" they could only observe from afar. These real models demonstrated through their presence and engagement that success was possible for these young men, creating a community of support and possibility. Central to Yeager's community-building philosophy is the concept of truth-telling. He encourages individuals to assemble what he calls a "supreme court" – three to five trusted people who will tell them the truth based on what they know and what they've heard. These truth-tellers don't need access to some ultimate truth; they just need to be willing to share their perspective honestly and help reflect one's worldview back to them. By cultivating these relationships of honesty and trust, individuals create a personal community that supports their growth and development. The communities Yeager builds, whether in professional sports, educational settings, or his personal life, are characterized by both acceptance and challenge. He creates spaces where people feel seen and valued for who they are, while also being encouraged to grow beyond their current limitations. Through his example and guidance, Yeager teaches that authentic connection requires both vulnerability and boundaries, both empathy and accountability. The result is communities where individuals can truly thrive – not despite their differences and challenges, but because these experiences are acknowledged, respected, and integrated into the collective strength of the group.

Chapter 6: The Art of Self-Inquiry and Personal Growth

Dr. Yeager's approach to self-inquiry is rooted in a fundamental question: "How am I doing?" This seemingly simple query opens the door to deeper exploration of one's internal landscape, inviting awareness of thoughts, feelings, and patterns that might otherwise remain hidden. Yeager breaks down this overarching question into more specific inquiries that illuminate different aspects of the self, creating a comprehensive framework for personal growth. One of the most powerful questions Yeager poses is "Who is the most important person in your life?" While many people initially name a spouse, child, or parent, Yeager challenges them to recognize themselves as the most important person. This isn't about selfishness or arrogance but about acknowledging that self-care is essential to caring for others effectively. As he puts it, "Before I can be a good brother, father, husband, friend, therapist, or coach to anyone, I have to be a good Corey for Corey." This perspective empowers individuals to prioritize their own wellbeing without guilt, knowing that doing so ultimately enables them to show up more fully for others. Another crucial area of self-inquiry involves examining the voice inside our heads. Yeager distinguishes between positive and negative self-talk, noting that the way we speak to ourselves profoundly impacts our experiences and outcomes. By becoming aware of our internal dialogue, we can begin to shift from critical, defeating messages to more encouraging, supportive ones. Yeager compares this shift to having a coach who lifts you up rather than one who only points out flaws – and reminds us that with 40 trillion cells in our bodies, every thought we have directs all those cells to uphold that thought. Yeager also encourages exploring what he calls our "essence" – the enduring qualities that define us across different contexts and throughout our lives. While specific roles and characteristics may change over time, certain overarching descriptions remain true to who we are at our core. For Yeager, that essence is being a "connector" – someone who brings people together, listens well, mediates conflicts, and builds relationships. Identifying one's essence provides a sense of continuity and purpose amid life's changes and challenges. The process of self-inquiry inevitably involves confronting uncomfortable truths about ourselves, including the untruths we tell ourselves and the negative patterns we've developed. Yeager frames these confrontations not as judgments but as opportunities for growth. By bringing subconscious patterns into awareness, we gain the power to change them. Similarly, by recognizing and naming our emotions – particularly challenging ones like anger or sadness – we create space to process them healthily rather than being controlled by them. Through these practices of honest self-examination, we develop greater self-understanding and the capacity for intentional change.

Chapter 7: Teaching Others to Author Their Own Stories

Throughout his career, Dr. Yeager has empowered countless individuals to recognize that they are the authors of their own life stories. This core philosophy challenges the common tendency to let others – parents, coaches, teachers, society – dictate the plot of our lives. Yeager encourages people to ask themselves, "Who is holding the pen?" and to reclaim their authorship if they've surrendered it to external voices or expectations. Yeager's approach to helping others author their stories begins with increasing awareness of current patterns and their origins. He often uses the metaphor of pulling up dandelions by the roots rather than simply mowing them down. By exploring the "root systems" of behaviors, beliefs, and emotions, individuals gain understanding of how past experiences have shaped their present circumstances. This awareness creates the foundation for making different choices moving forward – for writing new chapters that align more authentically with their values and desires. Central to Yeager's teaching is the concept of imagination as a powerful tool for authorship. He invites clients to enter what he calls "the playground" – a space of possibility where they can try on different ideas, assume new identities, and reimagine who they could be. This playful approach to self-discovery helps people break free from limiting beliefs and expectations, expanding their sense of what's possible for their lives. Like children engaged in pretend play, adults in "the playground" can explore potential futures without immediately committing to them, developing flexibility and creativity in their thinking. Yeager also emphasizes the importance of values clarity in authoring one's story. He encourages people to reflect on their core values, considering both where these values originated and whether they still serve them well. This process often reveals values that have been inherited rather than consciously chosen, providing an opportunity to decide which to keep and which to modify or release. By identifying and prioritizing their authentic values, individuals create a compass that guides their decision-making and shapes the narrative of their lives. Perhaps most importantly, Yeager teaches that authoring one's story is an ongoing process that requires both courage and self-compassion. He acknowledges that changing established patterns isn't easy and that we all stumble along the way. Rather than seeing these stumbles as failures, he reframes them as valuable opportunities for learning and growth. By approaching their stories with curiosity rather than judgment, individuals develop the resilience to continue writing even when faced with challenges or setbacks. Through this balanced perspective of accountability and grace, Yeager helps people not only become the authors of their stories but also create narratives they can be proud to call their own.

Summary

Dr. Corey Yeager's journey from a football-playing youth with NFL dreams to a respected psychotherapist for NBA players embodies his core message: we all have the power to author our own life stories, even when the plot takes unexpected turns. His life demonstrates how adversity can become opportunity when approached with awareness, curiosity, and intentionality. Through his deeply personal approach to therapy, Yeager has transformed the conversation around mental health in professional sports while providing practical wisdom accessible to anyone seeking greater self-understanding and purpose. His emphasis on authentic connection, both with ourselves and others, reminds us that meaningful growth happens in relationship, not in isolation. The most profound lesson from Yeager's work is that healing and growth begin with awareness rather than action. Before we can change our behaviors or circumstances, we must first understand the root systems that have shaped them. This understanding requires courage – the willingness to look honestly at ourselves in the mirror, to acknowledge uncomfortable truths, and to sit with difficult emotions. Yet as Yeager's own story illustrates, this courageous self-examination opens the door to genuine transformation. For those seeking to become more intentional authors of their own lives, Yeager's approach offers a practical pathway: begin with curiosity rather than judgment, cultivate relationships that support your growth, honor your past while not being defined by it, and remember that the most important person in your life journey is you.

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Corey Yeager

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