How to Live a Good Life

How to Live a Good Life Plot Summary

Introduction

Who needs a philosophy of life, anyway? The answer is simple: everyone does. Whether you realize it or not, you already have some idea of how the world works and how you should behave toward others. In other words, you already have a philosophy of life! The real question isn't whether you have one, but whether it's a good one that stands up to scrutiny. Most of us don't follow Socrates' famous advice to examine our lives. Yet there's wisdom in his claim that an unexamined life is not worth living. Taking time to reflect on your life's course can help you make small corrections when needed, and occasionally prompt more radical changes to your path. This book presents a dizzying array of philosophical views on life: from ancient Eastern approaches like Buddhism, Confucianism, and Daoism to Western ones like Aristotelianism, Epicureanism, and Stoicism; from venerable religious traditions like Judaism, Christianity, and Islam to modern ones like Ethical Culture, existentialism, effective altruism, pragmatism, and secular humanism. There could have been many more, of course, but this is a sampler, not an encyclopedia. The point is that there are many ways of living one's life philosophically, and it's worth reflecting on both their differences and commonalities.

Chapter 1: Ancient Wisdom: Eastern and Western Philosophical Traditions

Eastern philosophies—particularly Buddhism, Confucianism, and Daoism—have gained popularity in the West, though often in simplified forms that focus mainly on meditation or yoga. This limited understanding misses their deeper philosophical richness. These traditions aren't merely techniques for relaxation but comprehensive guides for ethical behavior and meaningful living. Buddhism, founded by Siddhartha Gautama (the Buddha) around 500-400 BCE, offers a path to alleviate suffering. The Buddha taught that our existential pain comes from emotions like anger, resentment, and blame. Buddhists practice "deflating" the ego by cultivating virtues including compassion, loving-kindness, sympathetic joy, and equanimity. As Owen Flanagan explains, "The ethical imperative is always to love, to substitute compassion and love whenever and wherever there is suffering, violence, cruelty, and hate." This practice aims to release practitioners from attachments and free them from the cycle of rebirth, leading to a state of serenity and ultimately nirvana. Confucianism, founded by Kongzi (Confucius), emphasizes compassion for others and personal integrity. Unlike Buddhism, which sees attachments as sources of suffering, Confucianism argues that a good life is rich in healthy attachments to family, friends, and humanity in general. Confucians believe we have special obligations to those connected to us through personal relations like kinship, but we should also have compassion for "all under Heaven" since we are all interdependent. The Confucian way encourages treating everyone as if they were our own siblings, parents, or children, recognizing that we exist within relationships, and good relationships make for a good life. Daoism (or Taoism), founded by Laozi and Zhuangzi, focuses on living in harmony with the Dao (the Way)—the natural flow of the universe. While Confucianism concerns itself with social harmony, Daoism is interested in the individual living in harmony with nature. As Robin Wang explains, we align ourselves with the Dao by putting our mind "on a diet," clearing out the "tangled weeds of anxiety and worry" to create space for illumination and acuity. Daoists prepare for and accept uncertainty, going with the flow of the world while taking control of their bodies and nurturing them "like a garden." The ultimate vision of Daoism is a spiritual transformation that brings finite human life into harmony with the infinite cosmos. Western philosophical traditions like Aristotelianism, Stoicism, and Epicureanism emerged around the same time as their Eastern counterparts. Aristotelianism, based on the teachings of Aristotle, focuses on eudaimonia—human flourishing or excellence. For Aristotle, the eudaimonic life is one where we've lived to the fullness of our potential, developed our distinctive capacities, and accomplished what we set out to do. This approach emphasizes doing excellently in all aspects of our lives—morally, psychologically, and physiologically. Stoicism, founded by Zeno of Citium, teaches that virtue alone is sufficient for a good life. Stoics distinguish between what is and isn't in our control, encouraging us to focus our energy on the former while accepting the latter with equanimity. This philosophy offers specific exercises to help deal with suffering and become better people, such as philosophical journaling and occasional self-denial practices. The goal is to achieve ataraxia—tranquility of mind regardless of external circumstances. Epicureanism, founded by Epicurus, focuses on achieving happiness through the pursuit of pleasure—though not in the way many might think. Epicureans understand pleasure not as indulgence but as the absence of pain, suffering, and fear. They practice "hedonic calculus," weighing the advantages and disadvantages of choices to determine which will bring the most pleasure in the long term.

Chapter 2: Religious Approaches to Meaning and Purpose

Religious traditions offer comprehensive frameworks for finding meaning and purpose that have guided billions of people throughout history. While philosophies often focus on reasoning and ethics, religions typically incorporate supernatural elements, rituals, prophets, deities, and concepts of afterlife or reincarnation. Despite these differences, they share with philosophical traditions a concern with the meaning of life and ethical frameworks for living. Hinduism, one of the world's oldest religions with approximately 1.1 billion followers, is unique in that it cannot be traced to a single founder. As Deepak Sarma explains, Hinduism is a "beginningless philosophy" intimately tied to the notion of an enduring self caught in an endless cycle of birth and rebirth. Central to Hindu thought is the concept of karma—the idea that one's actions in earlier lives affect both rebirth and future events. Hindus accumulate some combination of puṇya (meritorious karma) or pāpa (demeritorious karma), which manifests until depleted or more is accrued. This cycle of birth and rebirth, called saṃsāra, binds everyone until they achieve mokṣa (liberation). Judaism, with around fourteen million adherents worldwide, is the oldest of the monotheistic religions. Rabbi Barbara Block discusses how Judaism emphasizes the concept of covenant—a relationship between God and the Jewish people. The most important covenant was made at Mount Sinai, where God promised to treasure the people as "a kingdom of priests and a holy nation" in return for their obedience to God's commandments. Judaism places strong emphasis on community, ethical behavior, and the study of texts. Rabbi Block notes that in Judaism, multiple voices and truths are not only allowed but encouraged, since there might be multiple paths to the same goal—hence the quip, "Two Jews, three opinions." Christianity, which began as a sect of Judaism and developed from the teachings of Jesus during the first century, has grown to become the world's most popular religion with around 2.3 billion devotees. Alister McGrath explains that Christianity offers a framework that helps people search for authenticity and fulfillment, giving them a sense of self-worth (because God loves them) in a universe where it's easy to feel insignificant. The Christian narrative of crucifixion and resurrection provides "what is, in effect, an exemplary narrative of posttraumatic growth, with the potential to illuminate and transform the human situation." Islam, the second most popular religion with around 1.8 billion followers, emerged during the seventh century in Saudi Arabia. Adis Duderija writes about Progressive Islam, which he discovered after the 9/11 terrorist attacks. This progressive form of Islam promotes moral equality for all people regardless of beliefs or backgrounds, religious pluralism, reason-based ethics that evolve with humanity, environmental sustainability, and gender justice. Like Stoicism, Progressive Islam emphasizes cosmopolitanism, and like Aristotelianism, it deeply values human flourishing. Ethical Culture, founded by Felix Adler in New York City in the late 1800s, is considered a nontheistic religion that focuses on "deed not creed." Anne Klaeysen explains that Ethical Culture appeals to her as a welcoming group that emphasizes ethical behavior rather than race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or religious beliefs. It promotes social justice, activism, eliciting goodness in oneself and others, ethical relationships with people and the Earth, and spiritual recognition instead of religious salvation.

Chapter 3: Modern Philosophies and Their Practical Applications

Modern philosophies offer fresh approaches to life's challenges, often responding to the unique conditions of our contemporary world. These philosophies typically emphasize human agency, practical reasoning, and finding meaning in a universe that may not have inherent purpose. They provide frameworks for living that can be adapted to individual circumstances and societal changes. Existentialism emerged in the mid-20th century, with Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir among its most famous proponents. As Skye Cleary explains, existentialism starts with the fact that we did not choose to be born, but once conscious, we must take responsibility for our choices. The central maxim that "existence precedes essence" means we are thrown into the world first and then create ourselves through our actions. Our essence is never fixed until death, and with freedom comes the heavy burden of responsibility. This realization can be terrifying, but the reward is authenticity—creating ourselves by striving toward self-chosen goals. Existentialism is not merely individualistic; it recognizes that we can only understand ourselves in relationship with others. Pragmatism, an American philosophical tradition founded by William James and Charles Peirce, offers practical approaches to life's challenges. John Kaag and Douglas Anderson explain that pragmatism was born from personal struggles with suicide and existential crisis. James wrestled with the question "Is life worth living?" while Peirce grappled with feeling "absolutely alone in the cosmos." Their philosophies address two enduring concerns: the efficacy of individual freedom and the possibility of genuine communion. James emphasized the importance of believing in free will and individual agency, while Peirce focused on community and the need to sacrifice personal interests for ideals. Together, they created a philosophy that balances individual autonomy with social responsibility, offering a way to find meaning in a world that can seem chaotic and purposeless. Effective altruism, a relatively new movement, encourages people to use their resources to do the most good possible. Kelsey Piper describes how effective altruists approach this goal through three main avenues: donating money to high-impact charities, choosing careers where they can make the biggest difference, and building communities that minimize harm and costs. Effective altruism is outcome-oriented, cause-impartial, and universalist—valuing all lives equally regardless of nationality, race, or species. It asks the challenging question: "Where are the problems in the world today where my effort can make the biggest difference?" While this question can be overwhelming, effective altruism provides a framework for reflecting on it and identifying opportunities to improve the world. Secular humanism incorporates elements from many philosophies while rejecting supernatural explanations. John Shook explains that secular humanism affirms that humanity is ready to take responsibility for what our societies are doing and where our planet is headed. It holds that government makes life better for all citizens when no religion can make laws serve religious plans. Secular humanism supports full and equal rights for all, advocates for the separation of church and state, and promotes the application of science to real-world problems. It finds worth and dignity in every human life and celebrates excellence in humanity's achievements. As Shook notes, many people probably support secular humanist ideas without knowing it—particularly those who identify as "nones" on religious surveys.

Chapter 4: Ethical Frameworks for Decision-Making

Ethical frameworks provide structured approaches to making moral decisions. They help us navigate complex situations by offering principles, values, and methods for determining right action. Different philosophical and religious traditions emphasize various aspects of ethics, from virtue development to consequence evaluation to duty fulfillment. Aristotelian ethics centers on the development of virtuous character. Daniel Kaufman explains that for Aristotle, virtue represents the mean between extremes of excess and deficiency. Honesty, for instance, is the virtue between the vices of lying (deficiency) and indiscretion (excess). Temperance is the virtue between gluttony and insensibility. This "doctrine of the mean" doesn't provide absolute rules but helps us understand the relative position of virtue and vice. What counts as moderate, excessive, or deficient depends on the specific situation. Aristotle recognized that ethical decision-making requires both practical reasoning and perception—the ability to "see" what the right amount is in any particular circumstance. Stoic ethics focuses on developing virtue through rational self-control. Massimo Pigliucci describes how Stoics practice the four cardinal virtues: practical wisdom (navigating complex situations), courage (standing up for what's right), justice (treating others with respect and dignity), and temperance (responding to situations in just measure). Stoics distinguish between what is and isn't in our control, concentrating their efforts on the former. They also differentiate between healthy and unhealthy emotions, seeking to reduce destructive feelings like fear and anger while cultivating joy, love, and friendship. Stoicism teaches that we should deny assent to negative emotions by recognizing they result from our judgments, which we have the power to change. Buddhist ethics emphasizes compassion and the alleviation of suffering. Owen Flanagan notes that Buddhists view emotions like anger and resentment as categorically bad and unwholesome. Unlike Western traditions that sometimes justify anger as appropriate, Buddhism teaches that these emotions only create more suffering. The ethical imperative is to substitute compassion and love wherever there is suffering. This approach requires deflating the ego and recognizing our interconnectedness with all beings. Buddhist ethics also involves practicing the "four exceptional virtues": compassion, loving-kindness, sympathetic joy, and equanimity. Effective altruism provides a consequentialist framework for ethical decisions. Kelsey Piper explains that effective altruism evaluates choices by their outcomes, asking not just "Is this good?" but "What is best?" When considering where to direct resources for maximum impact, effective altruists consider three factors: impact (how much good would solving a problem do), tractability (how easy is it to make progress), and neglectedness (whether the problem receives sufficient attention elsewhere). This framework helps identify promising causes where additional effort can make the biggest difference. Religious ethical frameworks often incorporate divine guidance with human reasoning. Adis Duderija describes how Progressive Islam promotes ethics based on reason while remaining grounded in Islamic tradition. Rabbi Barbara Block explains that Judaism teaches teshuvah (return or repentance) as a six-step process for correcting wrongdoing: regret, renunciation, confession, reconciliation, making amends, and resolving not to repeat the offense. Alister McGrath notes that Christianity provides ethical guidance through alignment with Christ's narrative, helping believers navigate suffering and trauma. Across these diverse frameworks, common themes emerge: the importance of character development, consideration of consequences, respect for others' dignity, and recognition of our interconnectedness. Each tradition offers unique insights while sharing the goal of helping us make better decisions in an increasingly complex world.

Chapter 5: Finding Your Own Path: Integration and Personal Philosophy

Finding your own philosophical path isn't about selecting a pre-packaged belief system but rather developing a personalized approach that resonates with your values, experiences, and worldview. This process often involves exploring multiple traditions, integrating compatible elements, and continuously refining your perspective as you grow. The journey begins with exploration. As Massimo Pigliucci recounts, his path to Stoicism started serendipitously with a Twitter post about "Stoic Week." After downloading a handbook and practicing Stoic exercises, he found the philosophy transformative, helping him become "at least a slightly better person" who doesn't "get as anxious or angry as before." Similarly, Skye Cleary describes how she discovered existentialism during a personal crisis when questioning societal expectations about relationships. Existentialism "waltzed into my life," she writes, "seduced me by dancing around and gracefully shattering all the assumptions and expectations I had about life." Integration follows exploration. Few people adhere strictly to a single philosophical tradition. Instead, most create a synthesis that draws from multiple sources. John Shook notes that secular humanism "incorporates wisdom from ancient sources, such as Socrates, Aristotle, and Stoicism, blended with modern liberalism and utilitarianism, and infused with an existentialist sensibility, a naturalistic perspective, and a pragmatic optimism." This integrative approach allows for a more nuanced and personalized philosophy that addresses various aspects of human experience. Practical application is crucial. A philosophy of life must be livable, not merely intellectually satisfying. Hiram Crespo explains how Epicureanism guides his decision-making through "hedonic calculus"—weighing advantages and disadvantages to determine which choices bring the most pleasure in the long term. For example, "the dehydration and lost productivity the morning after drinking three beers might not be worth the fleeting pleasure of the night before." Similarly, Kelsey Piper describes how effective altruism influences her daily life, from career choices to living arrangements to donation decisions. Flexibility and growth are essential. Your philosophy should evolve as you gain new insights and face different life circumstances. Rabbi Barbara Block notes that in Judaism, "On the one hand, tradition teaches this. On the other hand, here is the situation." This balance between tradition and adaptation allows for growth while maintaining connection to enduring wisdom. Douglas Anderson and John Kaag observe how the pragmatists William James and Charles Peirce influenced each other over time, with James becoming "almost Peircean in the twilight of his life" despite their different starting points. Community support can enhance your philosophical journey. Anne Klaeysen explains that she joined Ethical Culture primarily for her children but stayed for herself, finding value in a community that shared her commitment to ethical living. Robin Wang describes how Daoism teaches that "we are not supposed to live in isolation" but rather to find what is of "mutual advantage between us and all our relations." Whether through formal organizations or informal connections, engaging with others who share your philosophical interests can provide encouragement, accountability, and new perspectives. The ultimate goal is authenticity—developing a philosophy that truly reflects who you are and who you aspire to be. As Daniel Kaufman observes, "It is not enough that one admire a philosophy for its intellectual qualities. It must be well suited to the type of person one is and the type of life one leads, an ill-fitting philosophy being even more obvious and awkward and ultimately useless than an ill-fitting suit." Your personal philosophy should help you navigate life's challenges, celebrate its joys, and find meaning in your unique journey.

Chapter 6: Community and Relationships in Various Life Philosophies

Different philosophical traditions offer diverse perspectives on the role of community and relationships in a well-lived life. These views range from emphasizing complete interdependence to celebrating individual autonomy, yet most recognize that meaningful human connection is essential to flourishing. Confucianism places relationships at the center of human existence. Bryan Van Norden explains that Confucians see humans as "largely defined by our relationships." When asked who he is, Van Norden responds that he's defined by his connections—to his family, his college, his students, and even to all matter through the Big Bang and gravity. For Confucians, there is no "me" completely independent of relationships, and we live well to the extent that we excel in these connections. The philosopher Wang Yangming argued that people implicitly know they form "one body" with others, which is why we feel alarm when seeing a child about to fall into a well. This interconnectedness extends beyond humans to animals and even to "tiles and stones," as we feel regret seeing beautiful buildings destroyed. Buddhism similarly emphasizes interconnection but approaches it differently. Owen Flanagan describes how Buddhism teaches that we should recognize our interdependence with all sentient beings and cultivate compassion accordingly. While Confucianism celebrates healthy attachments, Buddhism sees attachments as sources of suffering and seeks to release practitioners from them. However, both traditions agree that an isolated, purely self-interested existence is neither possible nor desirable. Buddhist practice includes loving-kindness meditation, which involves imagining oneself helping others and developing the capacity to respond compassionately to suffering. Stoicism balances self-sufficiency with social responsibility. Massimo Pigliucci highlights the Stoic concept of cosmopolitanism—the idea that "we are all on the same boat (planet Earth) together, and we are dependent on each other to make it so that the boat stays afloat and its occupants thrive." While Stoics value personal virtue and self-control, they recognize that humans are social animals by nature. As Marcus Aurelius put it, "If the intellectual is common to all men, so is reason... if this is so, we are fellow-citizens; if this is so, we are members of some political community." Epicureanism places special emphasis on friendship. Hiram Crespo writes that "Epicurean sources say that friendship is one of the most important components of the pleasant life." Friends bring "enjoyment, security, and stability," and Epicureans consider friendship a natural and necessary desire. Epicurus taught that we should surround ourselves with intimate friends frequently as a healthy outlet for our tribal instinct. Ancient Epicureans were known as "the twentiers" because they held "feasts of reason" on the twentieth of every month to study philosophy among friends. Religious traditions offer their own perspectives on community. Rabbi Barbara Block explains that Judaism emphasizes covenant not just between God and individuals but between God and the Jewish people collectively. Study is traditionally done in pairs because "the partners can keep each other on track, help avoid errors in interpretation, and enrich understanding." This contrasts with American education's emphasis on individual accomplishment. Adis Duderija describes how Progressive Islam promotes the idea that "all human beings are endowed with a God-given human dignity and the same degree of moral agency," creating a foundation for moral equality and community. Modern philosophies also address the tension between individuality and community. John Kaag and Douglas Anderson explain how American pragmatism wrestled with this balance—William James emphasized individual freedom while Charles Peirce focused on community and "the need to sacrifice one's personal interests for the ideal." Effective altruism, as Kelsey Piper describes, extends moral concern beyond immediate communities to all people globally and even to future generations and non-human animals. This universalist perspective informs decisions about where to direct resources for maximum impact. Across these diverse traditions, a common insight emerges: meaningful human connection is essential to a well-lived life, though the nature and extent of these connections may vary. Whether through family, friendship, community organizations, or global solidarity, relationships provide both support for individual flourishing and opportunities to contribute to something larger than ourselves.

Chapter 7: Confronting Suffering and Mortality

Every philosophy of life must ultimately address the universal human experiences of suffering and mortality. How we understand and respond to pain, loss, and our own finitude profoundly shapes our approach to living. Different traditions offer varied perspectives on these challenges, from seeing suffering as an opportunity for growth to viewing death as a transition rather than an end. Buddhism places suffering (dukkha) at the center of its worldview. Owen Flanagan explains that the Buddha observed suffering as universal and developed a systematic approach to alleviating it. According to Buddhist teaching, suffering arises from attachment and craving, and liberation comes through releasing these attachments. This doesn't mean avoiding life's pleasures but rather not clinging to them. When confronting suffering, Buddhists practice compassion and loving-kindness, substituting these positive emotions for anger and resentment. This approach acknowledges suffering's reality while providing practical tools for responding to it constructively. Stoicism offers a complementary perspective through its focus on distinguishing between what is and isn't in our control. Massimo Pigliucci describes how Stoics accept that pain, loss, and death are inevitable aspects of life that we cannot avoid. Rather than fighting against these realities, Stoics cultivate equanimity by focusing their energy on their responses to circumstances. As Epictetus advised, we should remember that everything we have is "on loan" from the universe, to be enjoyed while we have it and relinquished when it's gone. This attitude doesn't eliminate grief but transforms it, allowing Stoics to face adversity with tranquility and resilience. Christianity provides what Alister McGrath calls "an exemplary narrative of posttraumatic growth" through the story of crucifixion and resurrection. This narrative acknowledges suffering's reality while suggesting it can lead to transformation and renewal. McGrath explains that Christianity helps believers make sense of suffering by recalling the world's "original integrity" and looking forward to its "final renewal and restoration." The Christian framework encourages "a positive expectation on the part of believers that something may be learned and gained through illness and suffering." Hinduism approaches suffering through the lens of karma. Deepak Sarma explains that in Hindu thought, suffering is "inextricably linked to the consequences of actions, which are guided by and incur karma." Agents are directly responsible for their own suffering, and while they may act to mitigate it, there is "a degree to which Hindus accept, and even embrace, its inevitability." Some Hindus view suffering as a means to increase bhakti (devotion) to a deity or as a test of faith. This perspective can help practitioners find meaning in difficult experiences by placing them within a larger cosmic framework. Existentialism confronts mortality and suffering by emphasizing freedom and authenticity. Skye Cleary describes how existentialists acknowledge life's absurdity and meaninglessness but suggest we can create meaning through our choices. Rather than seeking comfort in religious promises of afterlife or cosmic purpose, existentialists encourage facing death's reality and using this awareness to live more authentically. As Cleary puts it, existentialism "does not tell us how to live a 'good' life, or even that we ought to aspire to it, but rather encourages inward reflection on how to live in authentically meaningful ways." Pragmatism offers a perspective grounded in practical experience. John Kaag and Douglas Anderson recount how William James and Charles Peirce both struggled with suicidal thoughts but chose to affirm life despite its challenges. They were "meliorists" who believed that while a perfect world is impossible, we can make any moment better through our efforts. This approach acknowledges suffering's reality while maintaining hope for improvement through human action. The pragmatists recognized that "we could always backslide" but still found reason to pursue "beauty, truth, and goodness." Across these diverse traditions, common themes emerge: suffering is universal but not meaningless; our responses to pain matter more than its presence; and confronting mortality can enhance rather than diminish life's value. Whether through spiritual practice, philosophical reflection, or community support, these approaches offer resources for navigating life's most challenging aspects with courage, wisdom, and grace.

Summary

At the heart of every philosophy of life lies a fundamental question: how should we live? The fifteen approaches explored in this book offer diverse answers, yet certain themes emerge across traditions. Whether ancient or modern, Eastern or Western, religious or secular, these philosophies recognize our need for meaning, connection, and ethical guidance in navigating life's complexities. They acknowledge that flourishing requires both individual agency and social responsibility, personal growth and community engagement. Perhaps the most powerful insight is that choosing a philosophy isn't about finding a perfect system but about developing a framework that resonates with your unique circumstances and aspirations. As Daniel Kaufman notes, "an ill-fitting philosophy" is "even more obvious and awkward and ultimately useless than an ill-fitting suit." The best philosophy for you will likely incorporate elements from multiple traditions, evolving as you grow and face new challenges. It will provide both practical guidance for daily decisions and deeper wisdom for life's most profound questions. Whatever path you choose, the examined life offers something the unexamined cannot: the opportunity to live not by accident but by intention, guided by values and insights that have inspired humanity across centuries and cultures.

About Author

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Massimo Pigliucci

Massimo Pigliucci is an author, blogger, podcaster, as well as the K.D. Irani Professor of Philosophy at the City College of New York. His academic work is in evolutionary biology, philosophy of science, the nature of pseudoscience, and practical philosophy. His books include How to Be a Stoic: Using Ancient Philosophy to Live a Modern Life (Basic Books) and Nonsense on Stilts: How to Tell Science from Bunk (University of Chicago Press). His new book is Beyond Stoicism: A Guide to the Good Life with Stoics, Skeptics, Epicureans, and Other Ancient Philosophers (The Experiment). More by Massimo at https://massimopigliucci.org.

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