
Indistractable
How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life
Categories
Business, Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Science, Leadership, Productivity, Technology, Audiobook, Personal Development
Content Type
Book
Binding
Hardcover
Year
2019
Publisher
BenBella Books
Language
English
ASIN
194883653X
ISBN
194883653X
ISBN13
9781948836531
File Download
PDF | EPUB
Indistractable Plot Summary
Synopsis
Introduction
In our hyper-connected world, distraction has become the default state for many of us. We check our phones over 150 times a day, feel a constant pull toward social media, and struggle to focus on deep work for more than a few minutes at a time. This isn't just about technology – it's about how we've lost control of our attention and, by extension, our lives. The consequences are profound: diminished productivity, weakened relationships, and a pervasive feeling that we're not living according to our true values. But what if you could reclaim your attention and transform your relationship with technology and distraction? This book presents a comprehensive framework for becoming "indistractable" – able to choose your life rather than having it chosen for you by apps, bosses, or the countless other forces vying for your attention. Through practical strategies backed by psychological research, you'll discover how to master internal triggers, make time for what truly matters, hack back external triggers, and prevent distraction with powerful precommitments. The path to an indistractable life isn't about digital detox or willpower – it's about understanding the real forces driving your behavior and creating systems that work with your psychology, not against it.
Chapter 1: Master Your Internal Triggers
At the heart of our distraction problem lies a fundamental truth: distraction starts from within. When we feel uncomfortable emotions – boredom, loneliness, fatigue, uncertainty – we naturally seek relief through whatever provides the quickest escape. This is why time management is, at its core, pain management. The discomfort we feel drives us to check social media, browse the news, or engage in any number of distracting behaviors that provide temporary relief from psychological discomfort. Consider Zoë Chance, a Yale professor who found herself addicted to her Striiv pedometer. What began as a research project turned into an obsession, with Zoë pacing circles around her house and climbing thousands of stairs late at night. The device wasn't the root cause of her behavior – it was the psychological relief she found in using it. During a particularly stressful period in her life involving job uncertainty and marital problems, the pedometer gave her something she could control when everything else felt chaotic. This pattern plays out in all of us. We blame our phones, social media, or other external factors for our distraction, but these are merely proximate causes. The root cause is our desire to escape discomfort. Evolution has wired us this way – we're perpetually restless and dissatisfied because contentment doesn't drive progress. Our brains are programmed with tendencies toward boredom, negativity bias, rumination, and hedonic adaptation, all of which make us prone to distraction. The first step to becoming indistractable is learning to deal with discomfort rather than trying to escape it. Instead of fighting against uncomfortable internal triggers, we can learn to notice them with curiosity. When you feel the urge to check your phone during a moment of boredom, pause and observe that feeling. What does the discomfort feel like in your body? By reimagining these internal triggers, we can disarm them. One powerful technique is the "ten-minute rule." When you feel an urge to check social media or engage in any distracting behavior, tell yourself it's fine to give in – but not right now. Wait just ten minutes. This creates space to "surf the urge" and often, by the time ten minutes have passed, the feeling has subsided or you've refocused on something more meaningful. Remember that mastering internal triggers isn't about having more willpower. It's about understanding the root causes of distraction and developing healthier ways to respond to discomfort. By reimagining the trigger, the task, and your temperament, you can break the cycle of distraction and regain control.
Chapter 2: Turn Values into Time with Timeboxing
Most people approach their day with a to-do list, hoping to find time for important tasks. But this approach is fundamentally flawed. Without deciding when you'll do something, it's too easy for tasks to be perpetually pushed to tomorrow. The solution is timeboxing – the practice of turning your values into time by deciding in advance what you're going to do and when you're going to do it. Sarah, a marketing executive, constantly felt overwhelmed by competing priorities. Her days were reactive – responding to emails, attending impromptu meetings, and trying to squeeze in "real work" whenever possible. She'd end each day exhausted but with little progress on what mattered most. When she implemented timeboxing, everything changed. She began by identifying her values in three key life domains: herself (health, growth), relationships (family, friends), and work (career goals, contributions). With these values clarified, Sarah created a template for her ideal week. She scheduled time for morning exercise, focused work blocks, meetings with direct reports, family dinner, and even leisure reading – all aligned with her values. Most importantly, she committed to treating these timeboxes as seriously as she would any important meeting. The result wasn't just better productivity; it was a profound sense of living intentionally rather than reactively. Timeboxing works because it eliminates the decision fatigue of constantly figuring out what to do next. It also forces you to confront the reality of finite time – if something is important, it deserves a place on your calendar. When everything is scheduled, you gain clarity about what constitutes traction (actions that pull you toward what you want) versus distraction (actions that pull you away). To implement timeboxing in your life, start by creating a weekly template that reflects your values. Block time for yourself first – self-care isn't selfish; it's the foundation for everything else. Then schedule time for important relationships, which too often become the "residual beneficiaries" of whatever time is left over. Finally, timebox your work commitments, being realistic about what you can accomplish. The magic happens when you reflect and refine your schedule weekly. Ask yourself: "When did I do what I said I would do, and when did I get distracted?" Use these insights to improve your schedule for the following week. Remember, the goal isn't perfect adherence but progressive improvement in aligning your time with your values.
Chapter 3: Hack Back External Triggers
Our environments are filled with external triggers – cues that prompt us to action, often toward distraction. The ping of a notification, the red badge on an app icon, the colleague who stops by your desk "just for a minute" – these external triggers constantly pull us away from focused work and meaningful time with loved ones. While we can't eliminate all external triggers, we can "hack back" by redesigning our environment to support traction rather than distraction. Jason, a software developer, found himself constantly interrupted by Slack notifications, email alerts, and impromptu meetings. His productivity suffered, and he began working evenings to compensate, which strained his family relationships. Frustrated, Jason decided to take control of his external triggers. He started by asking a critical question about each one: "Is this trigger serving me, or am I serving it?" This simple question transformed Jason's relationship with technology. He realized that while some notifications were essential, most were not. He turned off all non-critical app notifications on his phone and computer. He set up "Do Not Disturb" mode during his deep work sessions and family time. For his email, he batch-processed messages twice daily rather than responding immediately. In meetings, he advocated for a "no devices" policy to ensure everyone was fully present. The most challenging external trigger for Jason was his open-office environment. To address this, he created a visual signal system – when he wore his noise-canceling headphones, colleagues knew not to interrupt unless it was truly urgent. He also blocked off focus time on his shared calendar and communicated his availability to teammates. To hack back external triggers in your own life, start with an audit. List all the external triggers that regularly interrupt your day – notifications, people, meetings, emails. For each one, ask if it's serving you or if you're serving it. Then systematically redesign your environment: For your smartphone, remove non-essential apps from your home screen, turn off notifications for most apps, and use tools like Screen Time or Digital Wellbeing to set limits. For your computer, close email and messaging apps during focused work, use website blockers during deep work sessions, and clear visual clutter from your desktop. In your physical environment, create signals that communicate when you're not to be interrupted. This might be as simple as wearing headphones or placing a "focused work in progress" sign at your desk. Remember that hacking back isn't about rejecting technology – it's about using it intentionally to support your goals rather than letting it control your attention.
Chapter 4: Prevent Distraction with Precommitments
Even with the best intentions and a perfect environment, we still face moments of weakness when distraction beckons. This is where precommitments come in – powerful promises we make to ourselves in advance that make it more difficult to get distracted later. By removing future choices, we can overcome impulsivity and stay focused on what matters. Michael, a writer working on his first novel, struggled with the temptation to check social media whenever he hit a challenging passage in his writing. Despite his sincere desire to finish his book, he found himself constantly distracted. After learning about precommitments, he decided to try three different types to strengthen his resolve. First, Michael made an effort pact by installing website-blocking software that prevented access to distracting sites during his writing sessions. If he tried to access Twitter or Instagram during his designated writing time, he'd encounter a screen reminding him of his commitment to his novel. This small obstacle was often enough to snap him back to focus. Next, he created a price pact with a trusted friend. Michael put $100 in an envelope and gave it to his friend with instructions to donate it to a political cause he despised if he didn't meet his weekly writing goal. The thought of his money going to support something he opposed was so aversive that it strengthened his commitment dramatically. Finally, Michael made an identity pact by publicly declaring himself a "serious writer" to his friends and family. He even started a blog documenting his writing journey. By adopting this identity, he found it easier to make choices consistent with being a writer – including staying focused during writing sessions. To implement precommitments in your own life, start with effort pacts – they're the easiest to adopt. Use apps like Forest, Freedom, or SelfControl to block distracting websites during focused work. Or try the "ten-minute rule" – when tempted by distraction, wait ten minutes before giving in. For social situations, consider leaving your phone in another room during meals or conversations. Price pacts work well for breaking stubborn habits, but use them cautiously and with self-compassion. The goal isn't to punish yourself but to increase your motivation to stay on track. Finally, identity pacts can be remarkably powerful – simply calling yourself "indistractable" can influence your behavior in subtle but meaningful ways. Remember that precommitments work best when they're used after implementing the other strategies in this book. They're the last line of defense, not the first. When used properly, they create an environment where staying focused becomes the path of least resistance.
Chapter 5: Build Indistractable Workplaces
Workplace distraction isn't just a personal problem – it's often a symptom of dysfunctional company culture. When employees feel a lack of control over their work coupled with high expectations, they naturally turn to distractions as a way to regain some sense of agency. This toxic combination creates what researchers call "workplace distress," which has been linked to higher rates of depression and burnout. Leslie Perlow, a Harvard Business School professor, observed this phenomenon at Boston Consulting Group (BCG). Consultants were expected to be available 24/7, responding to emails and calls at all hours. This "always on" culture led to a vicious cycle – the more responsive employees became, the more responsiveness was expected. The result was exhausted workers, strained relationships, and ultimately, high turnover. Perlow proposed a simple experiment: What if teams committed to giving each consultant one predictable night off per week? Initially met with skepticism, the experiment yielded surprising results. Not only did consultants appreciate having one night when they knew they wouldn't be interrupted, but teams also began discussing other workplace challenges openly. These conversations revealed inefficiencies and led to better collaboration and planning. What began as a small experiment transformed BCG's culture. Teams learned to communicate more effectively about priorities and deadlines, and managers became more thoughtful about after-hours requests. Most importantly, the company created "psychological safety" – an environment where employees felt comfortable raising concerns without fear of negative consequences. To build an indistractable workplace in your own organization, start small. If you're a manager, model the behavior you want to see by respecting boundaries and being thoughtful about when you send communications. Create regular forums where team members can discuss challenges openly. Implement "focus time" where meetings and interruptions are discouraged. If you're not in a leadership position, focus on what you can control. Share your timeboxed schedule with colleagues so they know when you're available. Use communication tools intentionally – not everything requires an immediate response. And remember that changing workplace culture happens gradually, through consistent modeling and open conversation. The ultimate goal is a workplace where focus is valued as much as responsiveness, where employees have autonomy over their time, and where everyone understands that constant distraction isn't just bad for individuals – it's bad for business.
Chapter 6: Raise Indistractable Children
In today's digital world, parents are understandably concerned about their children's relationship with technology. Headlines warn that smartphones are "destroying a generation," leading many parents to impose strict limits or even ban devices altogether. But these approaches often backfire, creating power struggles and failing to teach children the skills they'll need to navigate a technology-rich future. Emma, a mother of two teenagers, was constantly battling with her kids over screen time. Family dinners were interrupted by notifications, homework was neglected in favor of video games, and bedtimes were delayed by "just one more video." Frustrated, Emma initially responded by confiscating devices and setting rigid rules, which only led to resentment and sneaky behavior. Everything changed when Emma learned about the psychological needs driving her children's technology use. According to self-determination theory, all humans need three things to thrive: autonomy (feeling in control of our choices), competence (feeling capable and effective), and relatedness (feeling connected to others). When these needs aren't met in the real world, children naturally seek satisfaction in virtual environments. Emma realized her son's obsession with online gaming wasn't just about entertainment – it provided him with a sense of competence he wasn't getting at school, where he struggled academically. Her daughter's constant social media use was meeting her need for relatedness during a period when in-person friendships had become complicated. Rather than fighting against technology, Emma began working with her children to ensure their psychological needs were met both online and offline. She involved them in creating a family media plan, timeboxing when devices would be used and when they would be put away. She helped them identify and remove unhelpful external triggers, like turning off notifications during homework and family time. Most importantly, Emma taught her children to make their own precommitments. Her son decided to use a timer app that limited his gaming sessions, while her daughter chose to keep her phone in another room during study time. By giving them agency in managing their own attention, Emma helped them develop skills they would need throughout their lives. To raise indistractable children, focus on understanding the internal triggers driving their behavior rather than simply restricting access to technology. Create environments that satisfy their needs for autonomy, competence, and relatedness in the real world. Teach them to timebox their activities, manage external triggers, and make their own precommitments. Most importantly, model healthy technology use yourself – children learn more from what we do than what we say.
Chapter 7: Create Indistractable Relationships
Our most important relationships often bear the brunt of our distraction habits. We check our phones during dinner conversations, half-listen to our partners while scrolling through news feeds, and allow notifications to interrupt intimate moments. These small distractions accumulate over time, eroding connection and intimacy in ways we may not immediately recognize. David and Sophia had been married for twelve years when they realized technology was coming between them. Their evening routine had devolved into parallel scrolling – both absorbed in their phones while sitting next to each other on the couch. Conversations were frequently interrupted by notifications, and bedtime had become a last check of email rather than a moment of connection. The turning point came when their eight-year-old daughter made a comment that stopped them in their tracks: "You guys love your phones more than you love each other." Shocked by this perception, David and Sophia decided to reclaim their relationship from distraction. They started by identifying the external triggers that were interrupting their time together. They created a charging station in their kitchen where phones would remain during dinner and family activities. They set their routers to automatically shut off internet access at 10 PM, creating a technology curfew that encouraged conversation and intimacy before sleep. To address internal triggers, they acknowledged the discomfort that drove them to their devices – the awkward pause in conversation, the boredom of everyday routines, the desire to check work email "just in case." Rather than escaping these moments through distraction, they learned to lean into them, discovering new depths in their relationship. Most importantly, David and Sophia developed "social antibodies" against distraction – agreed-upon norms that protected their attention for each other. They created a simple phrase – "I'd like your full attention for this" – that either could use when feeling disconnected. They scheduled regular date nights on their shared calendar and treated these commitments as seriously as any work obligation. To create indistractable relationships in your own life, start by having honest conversations about how technology affects your connections. Establish tech-free zones and times when devices are put away. Create external barriers to distraction, like leaving phones in another room during important conversations or meals. Remember that becoming indistractable in relationships isn't about perfection – it's about intention. When distraction inevitably occurs, acknowledge it compassionately and reset. The goal isn't to eliminate technology but to ensure it enhances rather than detracts from your most important connections.
Summary
Becoming indistractable is not about willpower or digital detox – it's about understanding and managing the psychological forces that drive our behavior. By mastering internal triggers, making time for traction, hacking back external triggers, and preventing distraction with precommitments, you can regain control of your attention and, by extension, your life. This journey requires consistent practice and self-compassion, but the rewards are profound. As Nir Eyal writes, "Being indistractable means striving to do what you say you will do." This simple definition captures the essence of the indistractable life – alignment between intentions and actions, between values and time. When we control our attention, we control our destiny. The distractions that once ruled our lives become manageable, and we create space for what truly matters – meaningful work, deep relationships, and personal growth. Today, make one small change based on what you've learned. Schedule time for something that aligns with your values, remove an external trigger that doesn't serve you, or make a precommitment to support your focus. Your journey to an indistractable life begins now.
Best Quote
“The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.” ― Nir Eyal, Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life
Review Summary
Strengths: The reviewer appreciates the occasional good ideas presented in the book, such as timeboxing schedules. Weaknesses: The reviewer criticizes the book for not meeting expectations of a scientific exploration like "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking." Overall: The reviewer expresses disappointment in the book's content and suggests it falls short of providing the desired depth in science, psychology, and data.
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Indistractable
By Nir Eyal