
I’ve Been Thinking
Reflections, Prayers, and Meditations for a Meaningful Life
Categories
Nonfiction, Self Help, Christian, Memoir, Spirituality, Audiobook, Personal Development, Essays, Faith, Inspirational
Content Type
Book
Binding
Hardcover
Year
2018
Publisher
Pamela Dorman Books
Language
English
ASIN
0525522603
ISBN
0525522603
ISBN13
9780525522607
File Download
PDF | EPUB
I’ve Been Thinking Plot Summary
Introduction
Maria Shriver's life stands at the intersection of America's most powerful institutions: politics, media, faith, and family advocacy. Born into the Kennedy dynasty yet forging her own distinct path, she has navigated the complex terrain of public scrutiny while maintaining an unwavering commitment to personal growth and service to others. As a Peabody and Emmy Award-winning journalist, bestselling author, former First Lady of California, and passionate advocate for Alzheimer's research, Shriver exemplifies how internal reflection can translate into meaningful external action. What makes Maria Shriver's journey particularly compelling is her willingness to share her vulnerabilities alongside her triumphs. Through her writings and public speaking, she invites us into her process of self-discovery – from questioning her purpose beyond her famous family name to finding her authentic voice in journalism, and eventually discovering new meaning through motherhood and advocacy work. Her story teaches us about the power of resilience in the face of personal tragedy, the importance of challenging outdated beliefs, and how meaningful connection with others forms the foundation of a well-lived life. In a world often focused on external achievement, Shriver reminds us that true power comes from within.
Chapter 1: Early Life and Family Legacy
Maria Shriver was born into American royalty as the only daughter among five children in one of the nation's most influential families. Her mother, Eunice Kennedy Shriver, was the sister of President John F. Kennedy, and her father, Sargent Shriver, served as the first director of the Peace Corps. This remarkable lineage placed her at the center of American politics and public service from her earliest days. Growing up in a household where achievement was not just encouraged but expected, Maria absorbed powerful lessons about purpose and responsibility. Her mother's mantra that "from those to whom much has been given, much is expected" became a guiding principle in her life. The Shriver family home was a place where world leaders and policymakers regularly gathered, exposing young Maria to conversations about social justice, political strategy, and public service. While her Kennedy heritage opened doors, it also created significant pressure. Maria often felt the weight of living up to her family's remarkable accomplishments. In a household dominated by strong male figures, including her four brothers, she worked diligently to find her own voice. Her mother, though demanding and tough, taught her that being a woman was her greatest asset – advice that initially confused Maria, who spent much of her youth trying to compete with her brothers on their terms. The family experienced tremendous public triumph but also devastating loss. The assassinations of her uncles President John F. Kennedy and Senator Robert Kennedy cast shadows over her youth. These tragedies shaped her understanding of grief and resilience at an early age, though in typical Kennedy fashion, emotions were rarely discussed openly. The family ethos was to "put their heads down and power through" difficult times – an approach Maria would later question as she developed her own perspective on processing grief. Despite the glamour associated with the Kennedy name, Maria's parents insisted on keeping their children grounded. They refused to join country clubs that excluded minorities, emphasized the importance of faith and service, and made sure their children understood their privilege came with responsibility. This foundation instilled in Maria a lifelong commitment to social justice and a deep respect for human dignity regardless of background or circumstance. These formative experiences created in Maria an unusual combination of confidence and insecurity, ambition and humility, toughness and compassion – contradictions she would spend much of her adult life reconciling as she forged her own path beyond the powerful shadow of her family's legacy.
Chapter 2: Finding Her Voice Through Journalism
Maria Shriver's entry into journalism represented her first significant step toward establishing an identity separate from her famous family. While her last name might have opened doors, Shriver was determined to prove herself on merit alone. Beginning at CBS News and later moving to NBC, she approached her work with relentless dedication, often working harder than colleagues to counter any perception of privilege or nepotism. Journalism offered Shriver a platform to pursue what had always fascinated her – people's life journeys. She became known for her thoughtful interviews that delved into the complexities of human experience. Rather than seeking sensational soundbites, Shriver developed a style characterized by empathy and genuine curiosity. She explains in her writings that she was "always intrigued by the way people negotiate their ups and downs, the forks in their road, the hurdles they've faced." This approach to storytelling became her signature professional strength. The profession also challenged Shriver to develop her own voice and perspective. In the competitive world of television news, she learned to assert herself in environments often dominated by men. She navigated the fine line between professional detachment and authentic engagement, ultimately concluding that her empathy was an asset rather than a liability in her reporting. Her growing confidence as a journalist paralleled her personal journey toward self-acceptance. Throughout her career, Shriver gravitated toward stories that illuminated social issues and human resilience. Whether covering presidential campaigns or humanitarian crises, she approached her subjects with the belief that everyone's story deserved respect and thoughtful consideration. This philosophy stemmed from her own experience as a public figure whose life was often reduced to simplistic narratives by the media. As her journalism career flourished, Shriver began to recognize that her true calling extended beyond reporting the news to creating meaningful dialogue around issues that mattered. Her coverage of Pope Francis's visit to America stands as a powerful example of this evolution. She describes it as a transformative experience that prompted her to reassess "power, success, money, joy, work, and love." This reflective approach to journalism eventually led her to create The Sunday Paper, her digital newsletter featuring the "I've Been Thinking" column that would allow her to share deeper reflections about life's meaning and purpose. Through journalism, Shriver found not just a career but a calling that allowed her to honor both her family's legacy of public service and her own authentic voice. The profession gave her the tools to tell stories that matter – including, eventually, her own.
Chapter 3: Navigating Motherhood and Public Life
When Maria Shriver became a mother, she approached the role with trepidation. Having been raised by a "formidable mother," she worried she wouldn't measure up to Eunice Kennedy Shriver's exacting standards. "I was afraid I'd mess up, afraid I wouldn't know what to do, afraid I wouldn't be good at it," she confesses. Yet motherhood would become what she calls "the most powerful job on earth" and the role she cherishes most deeply. As the mother of four children – Katherine, Christina, Patrick, and Christopher – Shriver discovered that mothering required both strength and tenderness. She learned that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting, as each child needed something different from her. Her daughters would later tease that she had been stricter with them than with her sons, while her sons claimed she spent more money on her daughters. Through these family dynamics, Shriver gained insights about adaptability and fairness that influenced her broader worldview. Balancing motherhood with her public roles presented unique challenges. During her time as First Lady of California, when her then-husband Arnold Schwarzenegger served as governor, Shriver worked to create a meaningful platform while maintaining her family's privacy and stability. She launched what became the nation's largest women's conference, bringing together women from all walks of life for inspiration and empowerment. This professional achievement reflected her growing confidence in combining her maternal instincts with her public influence. Shriver's approach to motherhood evolved as her children grew. She structured her life around school schedules, family dinners, and creating a home where her children and their friends felt welcome. She recognized that while she had built a successful career, her role as a mother gave her life its deepest meaning. "I know my children," she writes, "and I know that in their hearts, they know I love them deeply. They know they are and always have been my priority, my joy, my life's greatest purpose." When her youngest child graduated from high school, Shriver faced what many parents experience: the "empty nest." Rather than embracing popular terminology that implied emptiness and loss, she reframed this transition as an opportunity for growth. "There is nothing empty about my nest, my home, me, or my life!" she declared, even as she acknowledged the emotional challenge of letting go. This attitude exemplifies her approach to life's transitions – acknowledging difficulty while refusing to be defined by it. Through motherhood, Shriver discovered aspects of herself she might never have known otherwise. Her children taught her "to love gently, to nurture," along with "patience, kindness, and acceptance." They reintroduced her to play and adventure, helping her maintain a sense of humor and wonder. Most importantly, they taught her that beyond all the activities, schedules, and responsibilities, "it's the love. Mothering is love."
Chapter 4: Embracing Change and Transformation
Throughout her life, Maria Shriver has faced profound changes that required her to reimagine her identity and purpose. Perhaps most publicly, the end of her 25-year marriage to Arnold Schwarzenegger forced her to confront her deeply held beliefs about divorce. Having grown up Catholic with the notion that "divorce was a sin," Shriver had to reconcile her religious upbringing with her new reality. "I couldn't have been more wrong," she later admitted, in a powerful example of her willingness to challenge long-held convictions. The deaths of her parents – her mother Eunice in 2009 and her father Sargent in 2011 – marked another transformative period. Unlike her childhood experience of pushing through grief without discussion, Shriver allowed herself to fully experience the pain of these losses. "When my mother died, I experienced the true depths of grief," she writes. "It brought me to my knees." This willingness to feel deeply rather than suppress emotions represented a significant departure from her family's stoic approach to loss and became an important part of her personal growth. Shriver's transformation extended to her spiritual life as well. While maintaining her Catholic identity, she developed a more nuanced relationship with faith. She began to question aspects of Church teaching that conflicted with her evolving values, particularly regarding women's roles, divorce, and LGBTQ+ rights. Rather than abandoning her faith entirely, she embraced a more personal spirituality that combined traditional Catholic practices with meditation and broader spiritual exploration. This journey exemplifies her capacity to hold seemingly contradictory truths – maintaining connection to tradition while embracing change. Professional reinvention has been another constant in Shriver's life. After leaving her role as California's First Lady, she returned to journalism but also expanded into advocacy work, particularly around Alzheimer's research. She authored books, launched The Sunday Paper, and created the Women's Alzheimer's Movement. Each new endeavor represented not just a career shift but a deeper alignment between her work and her evolving sense of purpose. "Your life is yours to create and then re-create," she writes, embodying this philosophy through her own example. Perhaps most significant has been Shriver's internal transformation – her willingness to challenge her own assumptions and preconceptions. She acknowledges that she once equated kindness with weakness, viewed working constantly as a virtue, and considered perfectionism attainable. Over time, she came to see these beliefs as limitations rather than strengths. This honest self-evaluation allowed her to develop what she calls "intestinal fortitude" – an internal resilience based not on rigidity but on flexibility and growth. Shriver's journey of transformation offers a powerful model for navigating life's inevitable changes. Rather than clinging to outdated identities or beliefs, she demonstrates the courage to evolve, to question, and ultimately to reimagine herself at each new stage of life. "Each day, each of us is faced with the possibility of resetting our lives," she writes. "Refocusing. Reimagining. Rebooting."
Chapter 5: Building a Mission Around Alzheimer's Advocacy
Maria Shriver's passionate advocacy for Alzheimer's research emerged from deeply personal experience. When her father, Sargent Shriver, was diagnosed with the disease, she witnessed firsthand its devastating impact on both the patient and the family. "It's beyond mind-blowing to find yourself sitting across from a parent who has Alzheimer's and who has no idea who you are, or worse, who they themselves are," she writes. This painful reality transformed from private grief into public purpose as she committed herself to understanding and ultimately conquering this disease. What began as a personal quest soon revealed a shocking gender disparity that ignited Shriver's journalistic instincts. She discovered that two-thirds of all Alzheimer's patients are women, yet research had largely overlooked this gender dimension. "Why are women so disproportionately affected by this disease? So far, no one can tell me why this is happening," she notes with characteristic determination. This question became the cornerstone of her advocacy work, leading her to found the Women's Alzheimer's Movement (WAM) to focus specifically on the relationship between women's health and brain disease. Shriver approached Alzheimer's advocacy with the same thorough, multifaceted strategy she had applied throughout her career. She produced the Emmy-winning documentary "The Alzheimer's Project," authored the children's book "What's Happening to Grandpa?" to help families discuss the disease with young children, and created "Color Your Mind," the first coloring book designed specifically for people with Alzheimer's. Each project reflected her belief that addressing this crisis required engaging audiences at all levels and through various media. Beyond raising awareness, Shriver has been instrumental in funding critical research. Through the Women's Alzheimer's Movement, she has raised millions of dollars for gender-based research into Alzheimer's. "I've asked family members to stand in for me in the cities where I couldn't show up at events. I've asked companies for their money and support. I've asked researchers to share their wisdom," she explains. This willingness to ask for help – something that doesn't come naturally to her – demonstrates her commitment to putting the mission above personal comfort. What distinguishes Shriver's advocacy is her ability to make an overwhelming medical crisis feel personal and actionable. Rather than focusing exclusively on scientific research, she emphasizes practical lifestyle interventions that may help delay onset – exercise, meditation, nutrition, and sleep. By sharing her own efforts to protect her brain health, she makes prevention accessible and relatable. Her message is consistently empowering: while we cannot control everything about this disease, we can take meaningful steps to protect our cognitive health. Shriver's Alzheimer's advocacy represents the perfect synthesis of her family legacy of public service, her journalistic skills in communication and investigation, and her personal experience with the disease. By transforming her father's illness into a platform for broader awareness and research, she exemplifies how personal pain can become purposeful action. "I firmly believe that we, in turn, can wipe out this mind-blowing disease, and I will not rest until we do so," she declares, embodying the determined optimism that characterizes her approach to life's greatest challenges.
Chapter 6: The Power of Reflection and Gratitude
Central to Maria Shriver's philosophy is the transformative power of reflection – the practice of pausing amid life's constant motion to examine one's thoughts, feelings, and experiences with honesty and compassion. This practice, which she admits doesn't come naturally in her achievement-oriented family, has become essential to her well-being and growth. "For me," she writes, "thinking and then writing about my life and the world around me helps me to get clear and find peace." Shriver's reflective practice is particularly evident in her approach to meditation, which she initially found challenging. She describes her early attempts with disarming honesty: "I was a mess of a student... I fidgeted, got up and down, checked my phone, talked, walked around, even cried." Yet she persisted, recognizing that slowing down and turning inward was necessary to "find the calm" amid life's chaos. Now she starts each day in stillness, creating space to listen not just to her own thoughts but to what she describes as God speaking within her. This commitment to reflection extends beyond formal meditation to include journaling, prayer, and what she calls "The Power of the Pause" – intentionally stepping back from reactivity to consider one's response. In a culture that rewards immediate action and constant productivity, Shriver advocates for the counterintuitive wisdom of slowing down. "As everybody else is rushing around like a lunatic out there," she writes, "I dare you to do the opposite. I dare you to pause." Closely linked to reflection in Shriver's worldview is the practice of gratitude. She describes gratitude as a daily discipline that fundamentally alters one's perspective. "Every morning when I open my eyes, and before my feet touch the ground, I thank God for the gift of my life," she shares. "I give thanks for my health, my family, my friends, and for the country I'm blessed to live in." This practice, backed by scientific research showing gratitude's positive effects on mental health, helps ground her in appreciation rather than anxious striving. Shriver's gratitude extends beyond the obvious blessings to include life's painful experiences as well. She expresses gratitude for the lessons learned through grief, for the clarity that came from career setbacks, and even for the difficult process of dismantling outdated beliefs. This capacity to find value in all experiences – not just the pleasant ones – reflects a mature spirituality that sees growth potential in every circumstance. Perhaps most powerfully, Shriver models the practice of reflecting on and expressing gratitude for the people in one's life. She writes movingly about the importance of acknowledging those who offer support, even in seemingly small ways: "When someone brings me a coffee, opens the door for me, takes a walk with me, sits with me, listens to me... That's love, plain and simple." By noticing and appreciating these everyday expressions of care, she cultivates a heightened awareness of the love that surrounds her, creating a virtuous cycle of recognition and connection. Through her commitment to reflection and gratitude, Shriver demonstrates how internal practices directly influence external realities. By taking time to examine her thoughts, express thanks, and consider her responses before acting, she creates the foundation for more authentic relationships and more meaningful work – revealing how the deepest power truly does come from within.
Chapter 7: Creating Meaningful Connections
At the heart of Maria Shriver's philosophy lies the profound understanding that human connection gives life its deepest meaning. Despite growing up in a family where achievement and public service were paramount, she has come to recognize that relationships – not accomplishments – constitute our most valuable legacy. "I discover that I feel best when I connect deeply through conversation and shared experiences with people I love and who love me back," she writes, distilling a lifetime of learning into one essential insight. Shriver approaches connection with intentionality and wisdom. She maintains strong bonds with her four brothers, honoring their mother's insistence that "loyalty to family" remain a guiding principle. Yet she has developed her own nuanced understanding of family relationships, recognizing that true connection requires respecting boundaries, honoring differences, and acknowledging that each sibling experiences family life differently. "Don't discount or disparage their experiences," she advises, demonstrating how genuine connection requires seeing others as they are, not as we wish them to be. Friendship occupies a special place in Shriver's constellation of meaningful connections. She refers to her close female friends as "faith keepers" – those who "keep the faith for me when I can't find it within myself." These relationships provide not just companionship but spiritual sustenance, offering mutual support through life's inevitable challenges. By prioritizing these friendships – making time for conversations, shared meals, and meaningful presence – she models how connection requires active cultivation rather than passive expectation. The concept of empathy figures prominently in Shriver's approach to connection. She distinguishes empathy from sympathy or tolerance, defining it as "the ability to share someone else's feelings, the ability to understand another person's experiences." This capacity to truly enter another's emotional reality creates the foundation for authentic connection across differences. Shriver acknowledges that empathy doesn't always come naturally but can be developed through practice – particularly through service to others, which has helped her "understand people in ways I couldn't have otherwise." Shriver extends her vision of connection beyond personal relationships to encompass our broader human community. In an increasingly polarized society, she advocates for seeing our "common humanity" despite differing viewpoints or backgrounds. "I long to drop the labels we use to identify ourselves and that we so often hide behind," she writes, "as they always seem to take us further from one another, instead of closer together." This perspective reflects her conviction that true connection transcends political, religious, or cultural divides to recognize our shared human experience. Perhaps most movingly, Shriver acknowledges the challenges of creating and maintaining meaningful connections in a fast-paced, digitally mediated world. She observes how easily we can miss opportunities for connection when distracted by technology or preoccupied with achievement. Her Sunday family dinners, her practice of presence with loved ones, and her commitment to deep listening all represent conscious efforts to counter these disconnecting tendencies and create spaces where genuine connection can flourish. Through her reflections on connection, Shriver offers a vision of life that balances independence with interdependence, self-knowledge with openness to others. She reminds us that meaning emerges not in isolation but in relationship – that we discover our truest selves not by turning away from others but by turning toward them with authentic presence and care.
Summary
Maria Shriver's journey embodies a profound truth: authentic power flows not from external status or achievement but from internal clarity, purpose, and connection. Through her evolution from Kennedy daughter to journalist, from First Lady to advocate, from young mother to empty-nester, she demonstrates how life's meaning emerges through constant reflection and reinvention. Her greatest contribution may be her willingness to share both triumphs and struggles honestly, challenging us all to examine our own beliefs, face our fears, and pursue what truly matters. Shriver offers us practical wisdom for navigating life's complexities: Cultivate daily gratitude to shift perspective. Practice "The Power of the Pause" before reacting. Recognize that kindness requires strength, not weakness. Let go of perfectionism and embrace your humanity. Perhaps most importantly, she reminds us that connection – to ourselves, to others, to something larger than ourselves – forms the foundation of a meaningful life. In a world often fixated on external validation and material success, Shriver's reflections guide us toward what she calls "The Open Field" – that place of authentic purpose where we each discover and fulfill our unique mission. Her journey inspires anyone seeking to live with greater intention, compassion, and courage in an increasingly complex world.
Best Quote
“Forgiveness is letting go of the need to feel like a victim. Work on it. You’ll lighten your load—the load of negativity you carry around.” ― Maria Shriver, I've Been Thinking . . .: Reflections, Prayers, and Meditations for a Meaningful Life
Review Summary
Strengths: The book is described as honest and authentic, with words of wisdom and an intention to help and empower readers to live positively and make a positive impact. Weaknesses: The reviewer found the audiobook boring and felt lectured to, which detracted from their enjoyment. They also expressed dissatisfaction with the delivery of the inspirational content, suggesting that the medium (audiobook) might have influenced their perception negatively. Overall Sentiment: Critical Key Takeaway: While the book contains valuable insights and intentions, the reviewer's experience was marred by the delivery in audiobook format, leading to a critical view despite acknowledging the book's positive messages.
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I’ve Been Thinking
By Maria Shriver