Living In Your Top 1%

Living In Your Top 1% Plot Summary

Introduction

In the heart of New York City's financial district in 2001, Alissa Finerman stood at a pivotal crossroads. Despite her outwardly successful career on Wall Street, she felt an emptiness that no bonus check could fill. While her colleagues saw a rising star in finance, Alissa knew deep within that something essential was missing - passion, purpose, and the feeling of making a genuine difference in people's lives. This disconnect between external success and internal fulfillment would eventually catalyze one of the most significant transformations of her life. Finerman's journey from corporate finance to becoming a motivational coach, author, and speaker offers powerful insights into redefining personal success. Her story isn't merely about changing careers; it's about the courage to listen to one's inner truth when societal expectations pull in the opposite direction. Through her experiences, readers discover the importance of identifying personal strengths, embracing a can-do mindset, and taking small but consistent steps toward authentic goals. Her framework of "living in your top 1%" challenges us to measure success not by comparison to others, but by reaching our own highest potential in all areas of life.

Chapter 1: The Unfulfilled Finance Career: Finding Purpose Beyond Titles

Alissa Finerman appeared to have it all from an external perspective. Working on Wall Street after earning her MBA, she had secured a position that many would envy. Her role as a corporate bond salesperson came with prestige, a substantial income, and the validation of succeeding in a competitive industry. Yet beneath this veneer of achievement lay a growing sense of emptiness that couldn't be ignored. The defining moment came at the end of her third year in finance when she received her bonus. What should have been a moment of triumph instead felt hollow. The material rewards of her work weren't fulfilling her deeper needs for meaning and connection. As Finerman herself describes it, "I felt empty inside. The emptiness was a wake-up call that made me realize I was not connecting my passion with my work." This disconnection between daily work and personal passion created a persistent feeling of being adrift in her own life. Finerman had chosen the finance path for reasons that many can relate to - it seemed like a logical step after business school, offered financial security, and carried social status. She hadn't yet identified her true passion, so exploring a high-paying role in an intriguing world seemed to have no downside. This rational decision-making process led her to a life that looked successful from the outside but felt increasingly unfulfilling from within. Her days on the trading desk brought her some of her most unfulfilling moments. The early morning hours, constant stress, and chaotic environment of trading didn't align with her natural strengths or values. Though she worked diligently to build client relationships and succeed in her role, the underlying sense that she was on the wrong path continued to grow. She found herself defining her identity through her professional title when meeting new people, using it as a shield that kept her from confronting the deeper question of what truly energized her. This period of her life highlights an essential truth that many professionals face: external markers of success - impressive titles, substantial income, prestigious employers - don't automatically translate to personal fulfillment. Finerman was learning the vital distinction between doing what one should do versus doing what brings genuine joy and utilizes one's unique talents. Her experience raises important questions about how we define success and what metrics truly matter in creating a life of meaning. The unfulfilled finance career became the necessary foundation for Finerman's later transformation. This period of misalignment between her daily work and deeper values created the tension that would eventually propel her toward more authentic choices. Sometimes, knowing what doesn't bring fulfillment becomes a crucial step in discovering what does.

Chapter 2: The Turning Point: Layoff as a Blessing in Disguise

What seemed like professional devastation became the catalyst for Alissa Finerman's reinvention. While working on the trading desk, she received that dreaded call to report to the human resources office on the eighth floor - a moment that everyone in finance recognizes as the prelude to termination. The experience was jarring and disorienting: "I was nervous when I stepped off the elevator, angry when I was laid off, and distraught when I left the office. I felt my world come apart," Finerman recalls. The layoff shook her identity to its core. For years, she had defined herself through her Wall Street credentials, and suddenly that external validation was stripped away. The initial emotional response was intense - embarrassment, anger, and confusion swirled together as she called family and friends to share the news. Her confidence was rattled, and the future suddenly seemed uncertain in ways she hadn't experienced before. Yet amid this professional upheaval, a surprising realization began to emerge. The truth was that she hadn't been enjoying the stress or early hours of her Wall Street job. Looking back, Finerman would later recognize this moment as "a blessing in disguise" - the external push she needed to reconsider her path when she might not have summoned the courage to jump on her own. The period following her layoff became a time of reflection and reassessment. Rather than immediately rushing into another similar position, she took time to process the change and consider her next steps. She maintained her daily routines where possible, particularly her fitness regimen, which provided stability during the transition. When a client encouraged her to interview at another top-tier Wall Street firm, Finerman made the significant decision to decline. She had begun to recognize that the finance environment had become "toxic" for her - not aligned with her strengths or the creative atmosphere she needed to thrive. Her journey toward reinvention wasn't immediate or straightforward. Finerman held two more corporate positions before fully acknowledging that finance wasn't her path. The turning point came when she received a postcard about an Executive and Life Coaching program at New York University. Something about the program's description of motivating others to follow their passion resonated deeply. After attending an information session, she knew instantly this was a direction she wanted to pursue. In a bold move, she left her position as a vice president of an investment company to enroll in the coaching program. This period of transition illustrates a powerful truth about personal transformation: sometimes our greatest setbacks create the necessary space for reinvention. What initially feels like failure can actually be the universe's way of redirecting us toward a more authentic path. Finerman's experience demonstrates that being pushed out of our comfort zone, while painful in the moment, often leads to the discovery of possibilities we might never have otherwise considered.

Chapter 3: Embracing a Can-Do Mindset: Redefining Possibilities

At the heart of Alissa Finerman's philosophy lies the transformative power of mindset. She discovered that our thoughts become our beliefs, which form our mindset, which in turn governs our actions and ultimately shapes our reality. This chain reaction - from thoughts to reality - represents the foundation of her approach to personal development and achievement. Finerman emphasizes that we have approximately 50,000 thoughts per day, with 95% being repeated daily. This repetition creates a mental autopilot that either empowers or limits us. When we repeatedly tell ourselves "I can't," we reinforce a self-limiting belief system that prevents us from attempting challenges or seeing opportunities. Conversely, adopting an "I can" mindset opens doors we might otherwise never approach. Her own experience in finance illustrated this principle. Despite having few significant trading accounts initially, she focused her mindset on building one hedge fund into an active trading account. Rather than accepting the trading desk's pessimistic outlook, she committed fully to developing this relationship: "I simply told myself I could turn this customer into a top account on the desk and then made it happen. I only thought about being successful. I never considered a different alternative." This unwavering belief translated into consistent actions - speaking with traders every morning before 7:30 AM, making numerous follow-up calls throughout the day, and building relationships beyond the office. By year's end, she had traded over $5 billion with the account and established herself on the trading desk. Finerman distinguishes between fixed mindsets and growth mindsets, drawing on psychologist Carol Dweck's research. Those with fixed mindsets believe abilities are static ("Golf is not my game"), while those with growth mindsets see possibilities for development ("If at first you don't succeed, try, try again"). The latter approach leads to higher achievement because it embraces learning and improvement rather than being constrained by perceived limitations. She advises a practical approach to shifting mindset: awareness, dispute, and reframing. First, become aware of negative or limiting self-talk. Then, dispute irrational beliefs by determining if they're truly permanent or merely temporary challenges. Finally, reframe situations more productively. For example, when a business fails, one could conclude "I am a failure" (fixed mindset) or "I am one step closer to creating my next successful business" (growth mindset). Finerman's coaching work revealed how quickly mindset shifts can create tangible results. One client, a 45-year-old advertising manager with a consistently negative outlook, tracked her thoughts for a day and was astonished to discover how naturally her mind found the negative in every situation. By consciously changing her inputs - her thoughts and communication style - she received positive feedback from colleagues within just three weeks and was asked to lead a key project. This mindset transformation requires intentional practice. Finerman suggests creating a personal mantra to repeat each morning, such as "I deserve to be treated with respect" or "I am strong and healthy." These simple phrases, when genuinely believed and consistently repeated, can set a positive tone that influences the entire day. Through such practices, we can condition our minds for success just as athletes train their bodies for performance.

Chapter 4: Small Steps to Big Changes: The Power of Goal Setting

The journey to living in one's top 1% requires a roadmap, and effective goal setting provides the necessary directions. Finerman discovered that setting clear, meaningful goals creates a powerful foundation for personal transformation. Rather than viewing goals as overwhelming endpoints, she reframes them as paths that increase the likelihood of desired outcomes. Finerman's approach to goal setting involves three core phases: The Why, The How, and The What Now. The Why addresses the purpose and benefits of setting goals - creating vision, clarifying priorities, enhancing motivation, building confidence, maintaining focus, and increasing accountability. Research by psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky supports this approach, showing that "people who strive for something personally significant, whether it's learning a new craft or changing a career, are far happier than those who do not have strong dreams or aspirations." For The How, Finerman emphasizes strategies that make goals come alive. First, start with the ideal scenario and work backward, asking "What would I love to achieve by the end of the year?" Second, pursue goals that are intrinsically meaningful rather than externally imposed. Third, align goals with core values to create sustainable motivation. Fourth, write goals down - a sacred step that creates personal accountability. Fifth, craft clear-cut rather than vague goals, transforming "I hope to build my business this year" into "I will increase revenues by at least 15% by the end of this year." Sixth, ensure goals are harmonious rather than competing. Finally, set stretch goals that push beyond comfortable limits. The What Now phase focuses on implementation through prioritizing goals, breaking them into manageable steps, and maintaining motivation. Finerman emphasizes the Japanese concept of kaizen or "continuous improvement" - the understanding that both major and minor changes happen one step at a time. This contrasts with the all-or-nothing approach many people adopt, which often leads to burnout and abandonment of goals. Her personal experience with small steps proved transformative when she decided to complete the New York City Triathlon despite not having been in a swimming pool for thirty years. Rather than being overwhelmed by the 0.9-mile swim requirement, she began with just six minutes in the pool - her maximum at the time. Through consistent small steps - swimming lessons, group classes, adding a few minutes each session - she eventually completed the swim portion of the triathlon three months later. This success built confidence that later enabled her to complete a half Ironman competition. Finerman addresses the challenge of maintaining motivation, noting that it naturally fluctuates for everyone. She suggests motivation checkpoints: expecting obstacles, confirming commitment level, setting milestones, drawing inspiration from others' stories, and revising goals to reflect life changes. She shares the story of a client named Mark who worked two jobs for two years to save money for traveling around the world. By breaking down his enormous goal into small, manageable steps and keeping his dream visible (bringing a world map to his bartending job, hanging motivational phrases in his house), he achieved his goal of visiting forty different countries. The goal-setting process ultimately connects vision with action, dreams with reality. As Finerman notes, even John Grisham began his writing career with the small step of writing just one page a day. Each small step, consistently taken, eventually leads to remarkable destinations.

Chapter 5: Beyond Comfort Zones: Building Resilience Through Challenges

Moving beyond familiar territory is essential for growth, yet it's precisely where most people hesitate. Finerman identifies three distinct zones of action that shape our daily experiences: the comfort zone (where habits reside and challenges are low), the stretch zone (where learning occurs and stress remains manageable), and the stress/danger zone (where overwhelm dominates). The key to personal development lies in spending more time in the stretch zone without tipping into the stress zone. Finerman illustrates this principle through the story of her friend Jessica Grant, who took on Walmart in what became a landmark employment case. As lead counsel against a defense team of twenty-three attorneys from several top law firms, Jessica was dramatically outmatched in resources. Yet she continuously moved outside her comfort zone, learning everything about wage-and-hour law and putting in extraordinary effort to keep pace with Walmart's experienced team. After a four-month jury trial, she secured a $172 million verdict on behalf of 116,000 California employees - the largest verdict in an employment law case in 2005. Jessica's success came from focusing on taking small, manageable steps rather than becoming overwhelmed by the magnitude of her challenge. The decision to leave one's comfort zone often begins with honest self-assessment. Finerman suggests examining three areas: progress (have you achieved what's important to you?), meaningful goals (are you pursuing something that excites you?), and small steps (are you consistently moving forward?). If you haven't set an exciting goal in the past year or taken action toward it in the past thirty days, it's time to move beyond your comfort zone. Finerman shares the story of her client Sean, who was stuck in an unfulfilling radio management job but feared change after eight years in the industry. Through coaching, Sean identified his strengths and passions for coaching kids and athletics. Though financial concerns initially held him back, Sean and his wife made creative budget adjustments to enable his career transition. Two years later, he was a personal trainer and high school basketball coach making as much money as before but loving his work and having more time with his children. His story demonstrates that moving outside one's comfort zone, while challenging, creates possibilities for authentic fulfillment. For those who find themselves perpetually in the stress zone, Finerman offers four strategies to achieve better balance: schedule priorities rather than prioritize your schedule; utilize the "do it, dump it, or delegate it" approach to tasks; practice saying no; and focus on the present moment rather than dwelling on past regrets or future anxieties. These practices help transform overwhelming stress into productive stretching. Finerman emphasizes that comfort zones are predictable but offer no rewards. The most fulfilling experiences come from stepping into uncertainty and challenging oneself to grow. Each step outside the comfort zone builds confidence and opens doors to new possibilities that wouldn't otherwise be discovered. This willingness to stretch - to embrace uncertainty for the sake of growth - becomes a defining characteristic of those who live in their "top 1%."

Chapter 6: Creating Balance: The Framework for Sustainable Success

Achieving balance represents one of life's most elusive challenges. With only twenty-four hours in a day, how can we excel professionally, nurture relationships, contribute to our communities, and care for ourselves? The challenge intensifies when unexpected events disrupt our carefully crafted equilibrium - a new work assignment, relationship conflict, or personal crisis can quickly destabilize our sense of balance. Finerman approaches balance not as a fixed state but as a dynamic range that requires continuous adjustment - much like physically balancing on one foot. She suggests that each person has a natural "balance set point" (similar to the happiness set point identified in twin studies) but can control approximately 40% of their balance level through intentional practices. This perspective transforms balance from an unattainable ideal to a manageable aspect of life. The balance framework Finerman developed consists of three essential components that work together to create a stable foundation. First, seeing the bigger picture involves taking a thoughtful approach to understand how actions connect to outcomes. When we're caught in daily details, we lose perspective on what truly matters. She shares the story of her client Mary, who struggled with weight loss goals while facing workplace pressures. By recognizing how missing lunch due to unexpected meetings triggered a negative chain reaction affecting her health, energy levels, and relationship, Mary gained clarity to implement effective solutions. Second, identifying non-negotiables - the values, commitments, and beliefs you won't compromise - helps maintain integrity and prevent imbalance. These vary across different areas of life and might include exercising regularly, spending holidays with family, or adhering to ethical standards in business. When we compromise our non-negotiables, we compromise ourselves and give less than our best. Finerman's own non-negotiables include regular exercise, adequate sleep, and punctuality - priorities she maintains even when other aspects of life become hectic. Third, making conscious trade-offs acknowledges that we can't do everything simultaneously and must make intentional choices aligned with our values. Finerman illustrates this with her client Kim, who balanced the competing priorities of preparing for an important work presentation and attending her best friend's birthday weekend. Rather than automatically sacrificing either personal relationships or professional responsibilities, Kim made the conscious decision to attend the weekend but return early and work late Sunday and Monday to prepare adequately. This trade-off involved some short-term sacrifice (less sleep) but preserved both priorities. Balance requires honest assessment of current commitments and their value to our lives. Finerman suggests listing all commitments, identifying which add or detract value, and deciding what needs to shift. Some commitments that once served us well may no longer align with our evolving goals and values. This process isn't about achieving perfect equilibrium but about making conscious choices that reflect our true priorities. The balance framework ultimately offers a practical approach to navigating life's competing demands. Rather than pursuing an impossible state of perfect balance, Finerman encourages cultivating awareness of our priorities and making intentional choices that honor them. This approach transforms balance from a frustrating ideal to an achievable practice - one that supports sustainable success across all dimensions of life.

Chapter 7: Living in Your Top 1%: The Nine Rituals Philosophy

The concept of living in your "top 1%" represents Alissa Finerman's core philosophy - a radical redefinition of success that shifts focus from external comparison to internal potential. Unlike conventional notions of the "top 1%" that emphasize outperforming others, Finerman's approach centers on reaching your personal best regardless of how others perform. It's about maximizing your unique strengths, talents, and assets to live your best possible life. This philosophy emerged from Finerman's observation that many people are conditioned from childhood to measure success through competition and comparison. From school awards to Olympic medals, society celebrates those who outperform others. This creates a mindset where success means being better than 99% of people, rather than being your own best. Finerman challenges this paradigm by asking us to recall our most fulfilling achievements - moments that brought deep satisfaction not because we beat others, but because we stretched ourselves and achieved something personally meaningful. Central to this philosophy are nine rituals that form a practical roadmap for living in your top 1%. These rituals are organized into three sections: Assess, Create, and Implement. The first three rituals focus on assessment: being the CEO of "YOU INC." (taking full responsibility for all areas of your life), embracing a can-do mindset (training yourself to focus on possibilities rather than limitations), and excelling with your strengths (identifying and leveraging your unique capabilities). The next three rituals involve creation: going for the goal (setting clear objectives and taking small daily steps), thinking without obstacles (visualizing ideal outcomes before addressing challenges), and living in your stretch zone (regularly pushing beyond comfort for growth). The final three rituals address implementation: drinking a cup of resilience (bouncing back from setbacks), practicing the three Cs of choice, commitment, and consistency, and bringing balance to your life through conscious decisions. Finerman emphasizes that rituals, when consistently practiced, become powerful forces for transformation. Unlike optional practices, rituals integrate into our lifestyle and become ways of being. They help ground us, quiet our minds, and enable peak performance. Just as Olympic athletes use visualization and breathing techniques to perform under pressure, Finerman's nine rituals help ordinary people achieve extraordinary results in their daily lives. The philosophy acknowledges that everyone's "top 1%" will look different. For some, paying rent or maintaining steady employment represents a top 1% achievement based on their starting point. Others might be stretching toward entrepreneurship, creative pursuits, or community leadership. The framework adapts to individual circumstances while providing universal principles for growth. Ultimately, Finerman's nine rituals philosophy offers a holistic approach to personal development that embraces continuous improvement rather than perfectionism. It's about progress, not perfection - small shifts in mindset that produce powerful changes in behavior. By focusing on what we can control and taking consistent small steps, we move closer to our highest potential in all areas of life. The journey becomes as rewarding as the destination, with each ritual building upon the others to create sustainable fulfillment and success.

Summary

Alissa Finerman's journey from Wall Street to a life of authentic purpose embodies her core message: true success comes not from external validation but from aligning your daily actions with your deepest values and strengths. Her transformation wasn't instant or easy - it required confronting fears, embracing uncertainty, and repeatedly stepping outside her comfort zone. Yet through this process, she discovered that fulfillment emerges when we measure ourselves not against others but against our own potential. The most profound insight from Finerman's story is that we are all closer to our "top 1%" than we might believe. Often, we're separated from our best lives not by insurmountable obstacles but by self-imposed limitations and habitual thinking patterns. By adopting rituals that strengthen our mindset, clarify our goals, and build resilience, we can bridge this gap one small step at a time. The journey requires honesty about where we are, clarity about where we want to go, and consistent action to move forward. For those feeling stuck in careers or lives that look successful but feel empty, Finerman's example offers both inspiration and practical guidance for creating meaningful change. Her framework provides a roadmap not just for professional reinvention but for a holistic approach to living with purpose, balance, and authentic joy in all dimensions of life.

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Alissa Finerman

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