Onward

Onward Plot Summary

Introduction

Teaching is one of the most rewarding professions, yet it can also be one of the most challenging. Every day, educators face a multitude of demands—from meeting diverse student needs to navigating administrative requirements, from managing classroom dynamics to balancing personal well-being. These challenges, while difficult, also present opportunities for tremendous growth and transformation. When educators develop resilience, they don't just survive these challenges—they thrive through them. Resilience isn't about avoiding difficulty or maintaining a constant state of positivity. Rather, it's about developing the inner resources to bounce back from setbacks, learn from experiences, and move forward with renewed purpose and energy. The good news is that resilience isn't a fixed trait—it's a set of skills and dispositions that can be cultivated through intentional practice. In the following chapters, we'll explore practical strategies that will help you build your capacity to face challenges with courage, wisdom, and an open heart.

Chapter 1: Discover Your Core Values and Purpose

Knowing your core values and purpose is the foundation of resilience. When you understand what matters most to you and why you do what you do, you gain clarity that serves as an anchor during challenging times. This self-knowledge helps you make decisions aligned with your authentic self rather than reacting from fear or external pressure. Elena, a veteran teacher, found herself increasingly frustrated with her school's new curriculum mandates. The scripted lessons felt restrictive and contradicted her teaching philosophy. During a particularly difficult week, she broke down sobbing in her principal's office, feeling that her professional identity was being eroded. Her principal asked a simple yet profound question: "What values feel violated right now?" This prompted Elena to reflect deeply on what she truly valued as an educator. Through journaling and conversations with trusted colleagues, Elena identified that creativity, student autonomy, and meaningful relationships were her core values. Once she gained this clarity, she could see why the rigid curriculum was causing such distress—it violated these fundamental values. Rather than continuing to struggle against the system or resign herself to unhappiness, Elena found creative ways to honor her values while still meeting requirements. She incorporated student choice within the curriculum framework and focused on building deeper connections during the parts of the day that weren't scripted. To discover your own core values, start by reflecting on peak experiences in your career—moments when you felt most alive, fulfilled, and authentic. What made these experiences meaningful? What principles were you honoring? Look for patterns across these experiences to identify recurring themes. You might also consider times when you felt particularly frustrated or demoralized—often these indicate that important values were being compromised. Create a personal mission statement that articulates your purpose as an educator. This doesn't need to be perfect or permanent—it can evolve as you grow. The key is having language that captures what matters most to you and why you do what you do. When faced with difficult decisions or challenges, this statement becomes your compass, helping you stay true to yourself even when external circumstances feel overwhelming. Remember that knowing yourself isn't a one-time achievement but an ongoing journey. Regular reflection, feedback from trusted others, and new experiences all deepen your self-knowledge. This foundation of self-awareness will serve as your greatest resource for building resilience throughout your educational career.

Chapter 2: Understand and Navigate Your Emotions

Emotions provide vital information about our experiences and needs. When we learn to recognize, understand, and work with our emotions rather than against them, we transform potential obstacles into sources of wisdom and strength. This emotional intelligence is central to resilience, allowing us to navigate difficulties without being overwhelmed by them. Marcus, a high school principal, struggled with intense frustration during faculty meetings. He would often leave feeling drained and discouraged, particularly after interactions with a few resistant teachers. During a coaching session, he was asked to identify exactly what he was feeling during these meetings. At first, Marcus simply said "stressed," but with guidance, he recognized a complex mix of anger, disappointment, and fear—fear that he wasn't effective as a leader. Once Marcus could name these emotions precisely, he began tracking them in real time during meetings. He noticed that his anger spiked when certain teachers questioned his decisions publicly. Rather than reacting immediately, he practiced taking a deep breath and asking himself, "What's beneath this anger?" Often, he discovered it was fear of looking incompetent or losing control of the meeting. This awareness allowed him to respond more thoughtfully rather than defensively. Marcus developed a simple emotional regulation practice: before each meeting, he would take three minutes alone in his office to check in with himself, acknowledging any emotions already present. During meetings, he kept a small notebook where he could jot down emotional shifts as they occurred. Afterward, he would reflect on patterns and consider what these emotions were telling him about his needs and values as a leader. To develop your own emotional intelligence, start by expanding your emotional vocabulary beyond basic terms like "good," "bad," "fine," or "stressed." Learn to distinguish between similar emotions like disappointment, discouragement, and despair. Pay attention to physical sensations that accompany different emotions—perhaps tension in your shoulders signals anxiety, while heaviness in your chest indicates sadness. When facing challenging emotions, try the RAIN approach: Recognize the emotion, Allow it to be present without judgment, Investigate it with curiosity, and Nurture yourself with compassion. This process prevents emotions from controlling your behavior while still honoring their important messages. Remember that emotional intelligence isn't about eliminating difficult feelings but developing a healthier relationship with all emotions. Each feeling, even the uncomfortable ones, offers valuable information that can guide you toward greater resilience and wisdom in your educational practice.

Chapter 3: Build Supportive Communities

Human beings are inherently social creatures, and our connections with others form a vital foundation for resilience. Building meaningful community isn't just about having people around—it's about creating networks of mutual support where we can be authentic, vulnerable, and stronger together than we could ever be alone. Sarah taught at an urban middle school known for its challenging environment. Despite her passion and preparation, her first year was overwhelming. Students tested her limits daily, parents seemed unreachable, and the workload was crushing. By October, she was questioning her career choice and crying in her car after school most days. What changed everything was an unexpected invitation from Denise, a veteran teacher down the hall. "Join us for lunch tomorrow," Denise said simply. "We eat in my classroom." Sarah reluctantly agreed and found herself welcomed into a small group of teachers who shared not just their food but their struggles, successes, and strategies. They laughed together about classroom mishaps and offered practical solutions for challenges. Most importantly, they normalized the difficulties Sarah was experiencing, helping her see that her struggles weren't signs of personal failure but common hurdles in the profession. This informal community became Sarah's lifeline. When a student threw a chair in her classroom, she texted the group and received immediate support. When she developed a particularly successful lesson, they celebrated with her. Gradually, Sarah began contributing her own strengths to the group—her technology skills helped older teachers, while their classroom management wisdom supported her growth. To build your own supportive community, start by identifying what you truly need. Different relationships serve different purposes—some people might be great listeners during difficult times, while others might challenge you to grow or simply provide joy and laughter. Be intentional about nurturing these various connections rather than expecting any single relationship to meet all needs. Practice vulnerability by sharing both struggles and successes. Many of us find it easier to support others than to ask for help ourselves, but true community requires reciprocity. Start small by sharing minor challenges before moving to deeper vulnerabilities as trust builds. Remember that community building takes time and consistent effort. Schedule regular check-ins with important people in your life, even brief ones. Look for opportunities to connect around shared interests or goals rather than just problems. And consider expanding your community beyond your immediate workplace to include diverse perspectives and experiences that enrich your professional journey.

Chapter 4: Practice Mindfulness in Daily Life

Mindfulness—the practice of bringing full awareness to the present moment without judgment—serves as a powerful tool for building resilience. When we learn to anchor ourselves in the now rather than dwelling on past regrets or future worries, we gain access to inner resources that help us respond to challenges with clarity and calm. James, a fourth-grade teacher in an underresourced school, found himself increasingly overwhelmed by classroom demands, administrative pressures, and the emotional weight of working with students facing significant trauma. His mind constantly raced with worries about whether he was doing enough, and he often lay awake at night replaying difficult interactions or planning for potential problems the next day. During a professional development workshop, James was introduced to a simple mindfulness practice: taking three conscious breaths whenever he transitioned between activities. Initially skeptical, he decided to try it anyway. He would pause before greeting his students in the morning, after sending them to lunch, and before beginning staff meetings. Just three breaths, focusing only on the sensation of breathing. To his surprise, these brief moments began shifting his experience dramatically. The three-breath pause created a tiny space between stimulus and response, allowing him to notice when he was operating on autopilot or reacting from stress. During a particularly challenging parent conference, James recognized rising tension in his body and took three deliberate breaths before responding. This small act prevented an automatic defensive reaction and allowed for a more productive conversation. To incorporate mindfulness into your daily life, start with informal practices that don't require extra time. Pay full attention to routine activities like washing hands, feeling the temperature of the water and the sensation of soap. When eating, take a moment to actually taste your food rather than rushing through meals while multitasking. Notice the feeling of your feet touching the ground as you walk between locations. For more formal practice, try setting aside just five minutes daily for focused attention on your breath. When your mind inevitably wanders (as all minds do), gently bring attention back to breathing without self-criticism. This simple exercise strengthens your ability to direct attention intentionally rather than being pulled along by every thought and emotion. Remember that mindfulness isn't about achieving a perfectly calm mind but about developing awareness of your experience as it unfolds. Even moments of distraction or difficulty become opportunities for practice when noticed with kindness. With consistency, this present-moment awareness becomes less something you do and more a way of being that supports resilience in all aspects of your educational practice.

Chapter 5: Cultivate Self-Compassion and Care

Compassion—the ability to recognize suffering and respond with kindness—forms the heart of resilience. This includes both compassion for others and the often more challenging practice of self-compassion. When we cultivate this quality, we create conditions for healing, growth, and sustainable service to others. Michael, a dedicated high school counselor, prided himself on being available to students whenever they needed support. He arrived early, stayed late, and often skipped lunch to meet with teenagers in crisis. While his commitment was admirable, Michael began experiencing symptoms of burnout—irritability, exhaustion, and a growing sense of emotional numbness that concerned him deeply. During a professional development session on compassion fatigue, Michael had a revelation: his lack of self-care wasn't just harming him but potentially his students as well. He realized that his depleted state meant he wasn't fully present for the very people he wanted to help. The workshop leader introduced the concept of "oxygen mask theory"—just as airplane passengers must secure their own oxygen before helping others, educators must attend to their own wellbeing to effectively serve students. With guidance, Michael developed a self-compassion practice that felt authentic rather than selfish. He began by identifying three non-negotiable self-care commitments: eating lunch away from his desk, taking a five-minute breathing break between student appointments, and leaving work by 5:00 pm twice weekly. When self-critical thoughts arose ("I should be doing more"), he practiced speaking to himself with the same kindness he would offer a struggling student. To cultivate your own self-compassion practice, start by noticing your inner dialogue. Many educators speak to themselves in ways they would never address a student or colleague. When you catch harsh self-criticism, try the "friend test"—would you say these words to a dear friend facing the same situation? If not, how might you rephrase with kindness? Develop regular self-care rituals that honor your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. Remember that effective self-care isn't always about pleasant indulgences but sometimes involves setting boundaries, making difficult choices, or practicing healthy discipline. The key question is: "What do I need right now to be well and effective in my work?" Remember that self-compassion isn't soft or passive but requires courage and strength. By caring for yourself with the same dedication you bring to your students, you create sustainable resilience that allows your service to flow from fullness rather than depletion. As one teacher put it, "Self-care isn't selfish—it's how I ensure I have something meaningful to give."

Chapter 6: Develop Habits That Fuel Resilience

Resilience isn't built in a day—it's cultivated through consistent habits that strengthen your capacity to bounce back from adversity. By developing specific routines and practices, you create a foundation that supports your well-being and effectiveness as an educator. Dee, a principal taking over a struggling school with predominantly new teaching staff, demonstrated remarkable optimism despite numerous challenges. When the school was broken into and all computers stolen, her response was, "Well, now we can use the insurance money to update our tech, and the rooms needed a paint job anyway." When asked if she had always been so optimistic, Dee laughed and revealed that her previous principal once jokingly called her "Debbie Downer." Her journey to optimism came through intentional habit development. Dee explained that she began by simply tracking her thoughts for a week, noting how often she defaulted to negative interpretations of events. She was shocked to discover how frequently she assumed the worst possible outcomes. With this awareness, she committed to a daily practice of "possibility thinking"—deliberately identifying at least three potential positive outcomes for any challenging situation. At first, this felt forced and artificial, but over time, it became her natural thought pattern. The transformation wasn't just internal. Dee's staff noticed the difference in her leadership approach. When faced with budget cuts, instead of lamenting what they couldn't do, she guided her team to identify creative solutions within constraints. Her habit of optimistic thinking spread throughout the school culture, creating a more resilient community that could weather difficulties without becoming demoralized. To develop your own resilience-building habits, start by identifying one area where you'd like to strengthen your capacity. Perhaps you want to improve your physical energy through better sleep habits, develop greater emotional regulation through mindfulness practice, or build stronger connections through regular check-ins with colleagues. Choose one specific, measurable action you can take daily. The key to habit formation is consistency rather than intensity. A five-minute daily meditation practice is more effective than an hour-long session once a month. Link your new habit to an existing routine—for example, practice deep breathing while waiting for your computer to start up each morning, or write down three things you're grateful for while drinking your morning coffee. Track your progress without judgment, recognizing that habit formation includes setbacks and restarts. When you miss a day, simply begin again without harsh self-criticism. Share your commitment with a trusted colleague who can provide accountability and encouragement. Remember that habits create neural pathways in your brain that eventually make resilient responses more automatic. What initially requires conscious effort gradually becomes your default way of being. As researcher Brené Brown notes, "Resilience is a practice, not a character trait." Through consistent habits, you build the inner resources to not just endure challenges but to grow through them.

Summary

The journey to resilience is not about avoiding challenges or hardships, but about developing the inner strength to face them with courage, wisdom, and an open heart. Through discovering your core values, understanding emotions, building supportive communities, practicing mindfulness, cultivating self-compassion, and developing resilience-fueling habits, you create a foundation that allows you to not just survive but thrive in the face of educational challenges. As educator and resilience researcher Elena Aguilar reminds us, "Resilience is not a magical elixir that will eliminate all of the physical, emotional, or cognitive demands of teaching, but resilience can substantially and dramatically increase our ability to manage the daily stressors and rebound from inevitable setbacks." Today, take one small step toward building your resilience: perhaps a few minutes of meditation, a conversation with a supportive colleague, or simply noticing the bright spots in your day. Your journey toward greater resilience begins with these small but powerful actions.

About Author

Loading...

Elena Aguilar

Elena has trained thousands of educators across the United States and abroad in transformational coaching. She is the author of four highly acclaimed books: The Art of Coaching, (2013) and The Art of Coaching Teams, (2016) Onward: Cultivating Emotional Resilience in Educators (2018) and the Onward Workbook (2018), and the forthcoming Coaching for Equity (August 2020). She is a regular contributor to Edutopia and ASCD’s Educational Leadership, and she was a blogger for EdWeek Teacher for many years. Elena Aguilar is an author and the President of Bright Morning Consulting. Her expertise derives from twenty five years as a classroom teacher, instructional coach and leadership coach working in diverse school environments. In her role as a consultant, she has partnered with leaders in public and private organizations across the United States and abroad. Elena is also the co-founder of Kenya Big Picture Learning, and she’s on the advisory board of UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center. Elena holds a BA in history and Latin American Studies from the University of California, Santa Cruz, and an MA in Anthropology from the University of California, Berkeley. She received her teaching credential from California State University, Hayward, and she also holds an administrative services credential. Elena lives in Oakland, California, with her husband, son, and two cats. When she’s not coaching or writing she enjoys traveling abroad, photographing birds, hiking, drinking coffee and reading fiction.

Read more