Own Your Everyday

Own Your Everyday Plot Summary

Introduction

Have you ever felt the weight of expectations pressing down on you, making it difficult to move forward in life? Perhaps you've experienced the pressure to prove yourself, to find your purpose, or to have it all figured out right now. This constant pressure can be paralyzing, causing us to focus more on what others think than on what truly matters. The truth is, many of us are so busy searching for our purpose that we miss the fact that it's already within us. We look outward for validation when we should be looking inward for direction. The journey to breaking through barriers isn't about finding something that's lost—it's about embracing what's already there and having the courage to live it out every day. When we release the need to prove ourselves and instead channel the purpose we already have, we can move forward with confidence and clarity, regardless of our circumstances or shortcomings.

Chapter 1: Embrace Your Authentic Self

At the core of embracing your purpose is the willingness to be authentically you—imperfections and all. Many of us spend years hiding behind masks, afraid that if people saw the real us, they wouldn't accept or value us. This fear keeps us trapped in a cycle of performance and pretense that drains our energy and diminishes our impact. Jordan shares her personal struggle with acne as a powerful metaphor for this deeper truth. For years, she battled cystic acne, trying desperately to cover it up with makeup rather than addressing the root cause. When she finally visited a dermatologist, he explained that her skin issues weren't just surface problems but were being caused by something systemic—something happening beneath the surface. The doctor emphasized that caking on makeup to hide the problem was actually making it worse. This revelation became a profound life lesson for Jordan. Just as covering up skin problems only causes more damage beneath the surface, hiding our true selves behind carefully constructed images only deepens our insecurities. "Covering up the surface only causes more problems beneath the surface," she realized, "allowing the pesky insecurities to linger longer and have way more power over our lives than they deserve." The path to authenticity requires breaking ground—digging beneath the surface to address what's really going on inside. Jordan learned this principle early from watching her father's construction business: every solid building starts by breaking ground, removing dirt, and creating space for a proper foundation. Similarly, we must be willing to do the inner work required for authentic living. To embrace your authentic self, start by taking responsibility for your insecurities. Acknowledge they exist, then take action to deal with them at the root. This might mean seeking professional help, having difficult conversations, or simply being honest with yourself about the lies you've believed. The key is to stop picking yourself apart and start speaking to yourself with the same kindness you'd offer a friend. Your purpose begins with being 100% you—showing up every day despite the things you believe disqualify you. It's not about you plus your accomplishments or you minus your flaws. It's about the raw, real you, bringing your whole self to each moment with courage and conviction.

Chapter 2: Overcome Comparison with Compassion

Comparison is like running on a treadmill—exhausting but taking you nowhere. It consumes valuable energy that could be channeled toward living your purpose, leaving you stuck in a cycle of trying to keep up with or outrun others without making meaningful progress. Jordan vividly illustrates this through her experience at the gym. One day, she reluctantly took the last available treadmill, positioned between an older gentleman power walking and a young woman sprinting effortlessly. Without even realizing it, Jordan found herself in a competition that existed only in her mind. She increased her speed to match the woman next to her, determined to keep pace. "She had no idea she and I were battling for first place," Jordan admits, "and no one but me was keeping score. No one was getting a trophy." This treadmill competition revealed a profound truth: when we live in comparison, we exhaust ourselves sprinting in place rather than moving forward in our unique journey. Jordan identified three common types of comparison that hold us back: comparing our looks, success, or status with others; comparing how we measure up to our own expectations; and comparing our issues to other people's issues. What makes comparison particularly dangerous is that it causes us to make judgments without context. On the treadmill, Jordan didn't know how long her neighbors had been running, what they were training for, or what challenges they faced. Similarly, in life, we compare our behind-the-scenes reality to others' highlight reels, creating false standards that leave us feeling inadequate. To overcome comparison, Jordan suggests several practical strategies. First, remember your "why"—refocus on your original purpose rather than getting distracted by what others are doing. Second, replace jealous thoughts with joyful ones by consciously choosing to affirm yourself and celebrate others' successes. Third, practice gratitude and cheerful generosity to shift your focus from what you lack to what you can give. Perhaps most counterintuitively, Jordan recommends "letting her win"—releasing yourself from the imaginary competitions you've created in your mind. When the woman on the treadmill increased her speed beyond what Jordan could match, she initially felt frustrated but then experienced unexpected freedom. The competition was over, and she could refocus on her own workout. Finally, choose communication over comparison. Jordan shares how she eventually struck up a conversation with a woman at the gym whose intense workouts had intimidated her. To her surprise, they became friends, and the woman even came to support Jordan at a speaking event. "The people we judge, envy, or compare ourselves to most are sometimes the people we might like most if we actually sat down and got to know them," she realized.

Chapter 3: Transform Perfectionism into Progress

Perfectionism isn't about striving for excellence—it's about avoiding failure at all costs. This fear-based approach to life creates a toxic environment where love feels conditional on performance, our focus remains solely on ourselves, and our priorities get replaced by the pressure to prove. During a heartfelt conversation with friends, Jordan and her girlfriends opened up about their struggles with perfectionism. Hannah admitted to holding her body to impossible standards, while Lindsey confessed to obsessing over keeping her home spotless despite having a toddler and another baby on the way. Jordan shared her own tendency to put pressure on herself "to do everything right and be a perfect example," feeling she must either be the best at something or not try it at all. As they dug deeper, they realized that perfectionism ultimately stems from insecurity and pride. When we operate from perfectionism rather than purpose, we prioritize performance over what really matters—loving God, loving people, and letting ourselves be loved. We become so focused on our own image that we miss opportunities to connect with and serve others. The cost of perfectionism is high. Jordan explains, "You can't do all things well; you can't give your best in a few things if you're striving to be the best in all things." Eventually, we reach the limits of human capacity, cutting corners and snapping at loved ones because the pressure becomes too much. We miss divine appointments because our to-do lists are endless. To transform perfectionism into progress, Jordan recommends prioritizing what truly matters. Choose three areas to focus on and faithfully steward in this season, then break those priorities down into manageable sub-priorities. For example, if marriage is a core priority, identify three specific ways to nurture that relationship, such as dedicated time together without phones, consistent routines, or regular counseling. Once you've identified your priorities, take practical steps to actually live them. Your priorities should be evident by the way you live, not just by what you claim is important. Examine how you spend your time, energy, and resources to see if they align with what you say matters most. Additionally, identify what drives your perfectionism and interrupt those patterns. If social media fuels your perfectionistic tendencies, limit your exposure and replace screen time with quality time. Finally, make a plan to overcome procrastination, which is often a sign that you're avoiding failure. Set date-based, attainable goals and ask someone to hold you accountable. Remember that faithfulness in small things trumps striving for flawlessness in all things. By prioritizing purpose over performance, you can break free from perfectionism and make meaningful progress in what truly matters.

Chapter 4: Take Intentional Action Steps

Taking action before you feel ready or qualified is often the key to breaking through barriers and discovering your purpose. Many of us get stuck waiting for perfect clarity or complete confidence before we move forward, but purpose is revealed through action, not endless contemplation. Jordan's own journey illustrates this principle beautifully. During her junior year of college, she interviewed for a corporate internship that seemed like the logical next step in her career path. Though the interview went well, she felt strangely disheartened. When she shared her concerns with her mother, expecting to be reminded of the opportunity's importance, her mom surprised her by saying, "Okay, so don't. Don't do it." Instead of pushing her to stick with a predetermined path, her mother encouraged her to "try some stuff" and explore her interests. This permission to experiment led Jordan to discover hand-lettering, a creative outlet she enjoyed during stressful weeks of school. With her boyfriend's encouragement, she created an Etsy account and began selling her designs online. Her first sale—to a woman in Texas—was exhilarating. "I made something with my hands. And somebody likes it...enough to pay money for it. Is this real?" As orders increased, she recruited friends to help package items, paying them in pizza. What began as a simple creative experiment evolved into a growing online community, a blog, speaking engagements, and eventually this book. None of this happened because Jordan had a crystal-clear dream or expert qualifications. It happened because she was willing to take small, imperfect steps before she had everything figured out. To overcome the paralysis of impostor syndrome and take intentional action, Jordan offers several practical strategies. First, ask more questions and be coachable. When you feel unqualified, admit what you don't know and seek help instead of pretending to have all the answers. Second, embrace your reality and start where you are, focusing on what you are equipped to do rather than what you can't yet do. Third, be prepared to fail—not just expecting failure but actually planning how you'll respond when it comes. Fourth, shift your perspective on failure itself. Unless you refuse to try or quit being willing to grow, no experience is truly a failure; it's learning. Finally, execute what Jordan calls "incremental, implementable imperfection action"—taking small, manageable steps rather than waiting until you have a comprehensive five-year plan. The key is to give yourself permission to dream outside the box and try new things, even if they don't directly correlate with your current career or responsibilities. Don't let expectations, opinions, labels, or the risk of embarrassment hold you back from taking action. Remember that big steps are really just the result of incremental decisions implemented imperfectly, one at a time.

Chapter 5: Let Go of What Holds You Back

Freedom requires complete release, not partial surrender. Just as you can't be 99% free and call that freedom, you can't move forward into your purpose while still clinging to the very things that hold you back. Jordan shares a profound conversation with a friend who opened up about her past addiction to Adderall. Though the prescription drug initially made her feel productive and confident, she eventually realized it was replacing her need for God. "I was dependent on what I thought brought me life, not on the Author of my life," the friend confessed. When she finally decided to quit, she initially planned to dump the pills but keep the prescription "just in case." Then she realized: "If I was going to let go, if I was really going to change, I had to let go 100 percent, not 99 percent." This story illustrates a crucial truth: we can't experience transformation while maintaining a backup plan. "Old ways won't open new doors," as the saying goes. Living with purpose begins with releasing the comforts, habits, and crutches that have a hold on us so that God can do a deeper work within us. Jordan discovered this principle in her own life through marriage counseling. Though she and her husband sought counseling proactively rather than in response to a crisis, the process revealed unmet expectations they had both been unconsciously holding onto. Once identified, these expectations could be released, leading to greater patience, understanding, and freedom in their relationship. The process of letting go is beautifully illustrated through the changing seasons. As Jordan watched autumn leaves falling outside her window, she realized that transformation often requires something to die before new life can emerge. "Maybe transformation can be hard because, although it's a beautiful and necessary process, something must die for it to occur," she reflects. Just as trees flourish only when dead parts are removed and new life can grow, we too must be willing to shed whatever needs to be released if we want to experience lasting change. This doesn't mean the process is quick or easy. Jordan acknowledges that "the leaves don't change colors, drop from branches, and bud again all on the same day. And neither do we." Deep-seated issues like addiction, PTSD, or mental health struggles aren't overcome overnight, and professional help may be necessary. The key is to take consistent steps toward releasing what poisons your growth, no matter how long the journey takes. What are you holding onto that might be holding you back? An unhealthy habit? A relationship that's no longer serving you? A grudge you've been carrying? Whatever it is, today can be the day you choose to make a change—not necessarily completing the entire process, but taking the first step toward freedom.

Chapter 6: Shift Your Perspective on Success

The pressure to succeed can be overwhelming, especially in today's culture where we're constantly bombarded with messages to "be everything to everyone at all times." Social media feeds us curated images of success that make us feel both inspired and inadequate simultaneously. We scroll through motivational quotes like "Hustle until your haters ask if you're hiring," which seem empowering but often come from a place of pride—focusing on proving ourselves rather than living purposefully. Jordan noticed this pattern while speaking with young women across the country. From college campuses to conferences, she encountered countless women who felt exhausted by the pressure to keep up and measure up. Many sent messages expressing how they struggled with anxiety from trying to succeed at everything, feeling they needed to be "on" at all times. This relentless pressure to prove ourselves through achievement can cause us to lose sight of what truly matters. Jordan realized this when studying the stories of women like Esther, Ruth, and Mary—women God used to do world-changing things. "They weren't setting out to be rock stars," she observes. "They weren't trying to keep up with what other women were doing." Instead, they were ordinary women showing up for their everyday realities, with "nothing to prove but everything to give." The key difference? These women weren't distracted by noise and comparison. They had space to listen to God and follow His direction. They had influence because they focused on impact, showing up rather than showing off. "When we always have something to prove," Jordan explains, "we close ourselves off to protect our image and end up making everything about us." But when we have everything to give, we discover a truly meaningful life. To shift your perspective on success, Jordan suggests redefining it entirely. Rather than viewing success as a distant jackpot you must win or tying it to specific outcomes, consider how you might succeed every single day through what she calls "micro-success factors"—doable daily goals that build toward larger objectives. For Jordan, these include spending quality time with her husband, moving her body for thirty minutes, talking to God, and writing one thousand words each day. Take time to define success on both macro and micro levels. First, identify the big dreams God has placed on your heart. Then, determine the daily disciplines that will help you make incremental progress toward those dreams. These micro-success factors not only make each day feel like an achievement but also serve as the action plan to bring your bigger goals to fruition. By redefining success in this way, you can release the pressure to prove yourself and instead focus on being faithful in the small, everyday moments that ultimately lead to meaningful impact. Remember that the world doesn't revolve around you—but you can bring heaven to earth right where you are by choosing to love and serve others authentically.

Summary

Throughout this journey of breaking through barriers, we've discovered that our purpose isn't something we need to find—it's something we need to embrace and live out daily. The pressure to prove ourselves, the insecurities that plague us, and the expectations we perceive others have of us—these are the barriers that hold us back from living the lives we're meant to live. But as we've seen, these barriers can be overcome through authenticity, intentional action, and a willingness to let go of what no longer serves us. As Jordan beautifully puts it, "Be among the few. Stop being passive and start living with passion. Don't wait for something good to happen—be the good that happens. Do hard things even when life is hard, right where you are, with what you have." Your next step doesn't require perfect clarity or complete confidence—it simply requires your willingness to show up, to take that big step forward even when you'd rather take a seat. Today, choose one small action that aligns with your purpose. Make a call, start a conversation, or take that first step toward your dream. Remember that you are not an accident but a woman of purpose, uniquely chosen to make a difference right where you are.

About Author

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Jordan Lee Dooley

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