Surprise

Surprise Plot Summary

Introduction

In the corner of a bustling café, a woman sits staring at her laptop. She's been stuck on the same paragraph for twenty minutes, her thoughts circling the same predictable track. Suddenly, a stranger trips and spills coffee—not on her, thankfully—but close enough to jolt her from her mental loop. In that suspended moment of surprise, her brain shifts into high gear. When she returns to her document, the words flow effortlessly. The unexpected interruption broke her pattern and awakened her mind. Our lives are defined by the tension between certainty and uncertainty. We crave predictability, building routines and schedules to feel safe, yet we simultaneously long for excitement and novelty. This fundamental human paradox creates a seesaw effect: too much predictability leads to boredom, while too much uncertainty triggers anxiety. Finding balance between these poles isn't just about feeling good—it's about unlocking our potential for creativity, connection, and transformation. When we learn to embrace the unexpected and even engineer surprise in our lives, we discover a hidden edge that can transform how we think, work, and relate to others. Through stories of individuals who've mastered this delicate balance, we'll explore how the science of surprise offers a powerful framework for navigating our increasingly complex world with resilience and joy.

Chapter 1: The Science of Surprise: How Our Brains Process the Unexpected

Imagine you're perched on a boulder 200,000 years ago, savoring a handful of berries with your friend, when suddenly a saber-tooth tiger leaps out. In less than a second, your brain freezes, hyper-focuses, and sends you running faster than an Olympic sprinter. While your friend, who lacks the genetic ability to be surprised, stands chewing his berries and becomes prehistoric brunch. This primal response still shapes how we react today. When something unexpected happens, our brains trigger what scientists call the Surprise Sequence. First comes the Freeze Phase, where a P300 brain wave hijacks our attention and pulls us fully into the present moment. Your face might briefly take on what researchers call the "Duh Face"—not the wide-eyed expression we typically associate with surprise, but a momentary blank look of pure absorption. Next is the Find Phase, where our brains rapidly search for explanations. This process happens so quickly we're rarely aware of it, but it's the reason we become intensely curious after being surprised. During a surprise experiment, researchers captured a woman's facial expressions as she watched a video with an unexpected twist. In just one second, her face shifted from the initial "Duh Face" to overtly communicating surprise, then fear, and finally amusement—all evidence of her brain's lightning-fast search for meaning. If we can't easily explain away the surprise, we enter the Shift Phase. Our mental frameworks—what psychologists call schemata—must stretch to accommodate new information. This is where real growth happens. Children naturally have flexible schemata, constantly adjusting their understanding as they explore. Adults, however, often resist updating their frameworks, preferring the comfort of certainty over the discomfort of change. Finally, we reach the Share Phase. Surprises create a cognitive burden that we instinctively relieve by telling others about our experience. This isn't just psychological—it's physical. Research shows that keeping surprising experiences to ourselves can actually make us feel like we're carrying a heavy weight. The more surprising an event, the more quickly and frequently we share it with others. The beauty of surprise isn't just in these individual phases but in how they work together to create moments of complete presence, passionate curiosity, perspective shifts, and deeper connections with others. These are precisely the qualities that help us navigate our increasingly unpredictable world with greater adaptability and joy.

Chapter 2: Embracing Uncertainty: From Vulnerability to Resilience

Natalia Paruz had dreamed of being a dancer since childhood. When the prestigious Martha Graham Dance Company selected her as a trainee, it seemed her future was set. But just a year and a half into her training, Natalia was struck by a taxicab. Her doctor delivered devastating news: her spine was so severely injured that she would never dance again. At first, she felt only disbelief, then despair as physical therapy consumed her days and hopelessness filled her nights. Several months later, to cheer her up, her parents took Natalia to Austria. Though she could barely summon the energy to leave her hotel room, she reluctantly attended a concert with them. Sitting in a daze, a strange sound suddenly captured her attention. Among the violins and cellos, one man played a carpenter's saw, bending it to create hauntingly beautiful music. The instrument curved and swayed like a dancer, creating a ballet between the bow, the saw, and the air. Mesmerized, Natalia approached the musician afterward, begging him to teach her. "Go home, pick up any saw from the hardware store, and figure it out," he told her. Today, Natalia is known worldwide as "The Saw Lady," performing at Carnegie Hall and Madison Square Garden. "I can honestly say that the accident turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me," she reflects. "Without it, I would have never found this amazing life I have now." What allowed Natalia to embrace the unpredictability in her life rather than being crushed by it? The answer lies in resilience—our internal safety net that assures us we'll be okay no matter what. Resilient individuals like Natalia build this capacity through several key practices. They establish stable ground through supportive relationships and meaningful routines. They reframe setbacks, finding value even in painful experiences—what Joy Huber, diagnosed with stage four cancer at age 33, calls the "bright side effects" of illness. Resilient people also experience what psychologists call "post-traumatic growth," discovering new strengths and opportunities they wouldn't have found otherwise. As Kevin Prentiss, an entrepreneur who's weathered multiple business failures, explains: "I give myself ten minutes to feel whatever I need to feel, then I start brainstorming actions to take." This ability to pivot—to move with change rather than against it—transforms setbacks into stepping stones. In our increasingly unpredictable world, resilience isn't just helpful—it's essential. We can no longer hide indoors waiting for storms to pass. Instead, we must build confidence in our ability to weather whatever comes, recover, and even use surprises to our advantage. Like figure skaters who learn to fall before attempting jumps, we grow stronger by embracing the uncertain terrain of life.

Chapter 3: The Power of Not-Knowing: Finding Wisdom in Ambiguity

When Kristen Powers was eleven years old, her father took her and her brother to Disney World. After a day of rollercoasters and cotton candy, on the drive home, he delivered life-changing news: "Your mother has Huntington's disease." This neuropsychiatric disorder combines symptoms of Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, bipolar disorder, and Lou Gehrig's disease. Soon after, Kristen learned something even more shocking—there was a 50% chance she had inherited it too. Genetic testing could reveal her fate, but she would have to wait until her eighteenth birthday to find out. For seven years, Kristen lived in suspense. "The suspense was literally going to make me throw up or pass out," she recalled about the day her results finally came in. When her genetic counselor told her, "I have good news for you today. You tested negative," Kristen felt overwhelming relief. But the next day, a surprising new feeling settled in: "Suddenly the possibilities were endless. I was like, oh my God, is this how normal people feel?" Kristen's story vividly illustrates how uncertainty affects our minds. When faced with unknowns, our brains process uncertainty much like surprise. A P300 brain wave hoards a chunk of our attention, keeping us on high alert. Evolutionarily, we've developed two strategies for handling uncertainty: avoiding it (staying clear of dark caves) or approaching certainty (exploring to predict and control our environment). Both strategies aim to prevent surprise—but in today's world, neither approach serves us well. Avoiding uncertainty leads us to select dull but predictable options over fulfilling but uncertain ones. Meanwhile, rushing to eliminate uncertainty through rumination creates anxiety and, paradoxically, limits our pleasure when good things happen. If you've ever looked through photos of a vacation destination before arriving and then felt underwhelmed while actually there, you've fallen victim to what researchers call the "prediction paradox"—or as we might say, you've "Googled away delight." So how can we navigate uncertainty more skillfully? Documentary filmmaker Roko Belic found insight in his travels studying happiness across fourteen countries. The San Bushmen of Namibia, who still live as hunter-gatherers, exemplify a different approach. "The belief they hold is that if you go hunting for gazelle but capture a porcupine instead, that's okay too," Belic observed. "Hunting is inherently spontaneous and unpredictable. If you try to control it too much, you'll miss out on opportunities." This philosophy represents what we call the Middle Way—accepting that surprises will happen without trying to avoid them or predict them. People who practice this approach treat decisions as experiments rather than final verdicts. They use scenario planning to prepare for multiple possible futures instead of fixating on a single outcome. And they become skilled improvisers, listening carefully to others and remaining unattached to specific results. The greatest wisdom often comes not from knowing but from being comfortable with not-knowing. When researchers at the Berlin Wisdom Project asked people for advice on complex situations, the wisest individuals took time to think and often declined to give immediate answers, preferring to learn the whole story first. They had developed what psychologists call "tolerance for ambiguity"—or what we might call "flexing," the ability to hold opposing views simultaneously and adapt to new information. In an increasingly complex world, this capacity for skillful not-knowing may be our greatest asset.

Chapter 4: Engineering the Unexpected: Creativity Through Surprise

It's 6:50 p.m. on a frigid Thursday in New York City. Entering the industrial-looking elevator of Quirky headquarters, you might expect the office to be deserted. Instead, when the doors open, the space is packed with people. At 7 p.m. sharp, founder Ben Kaufman starts the show—a weekly event called Eval where aspiring inventors present their ideas. The audience murmurs, laughs, and occasionally falls into stunned silence at particularly surprising concepts: a computer monitor that adjusts to your vision, a smartphone-operated pet feeder, a self-inflating fort. What makes Quirky so popular? And how do people come up with such creative and surprising ideas? The answer lies in understanding that creativity—making something new or finding a new way to look at something old—has become essential in our rapidly changing world. As communication speeds increase exponentially and the cost of making just about anything plummets, the barriers to creativity are dropping while creative competition heats up. "Suddenly, we're competing with two hundred guys in two hundred other garages," notes innovation expert Thomas Wedell-Wedellsborg. The most innovative individuals and organizations use specific tools to spark creative thinking. First, they "get to curious"—treating curiosity as a place they go rather than a feeling they have. Instead of waiting for surprise to trigger curiosity, they intentionally start with curiosity to generate surprise. One simple technique is playing "Twenty Questions" about an ordinary object like a pencil: Why this color? What tree did it come from? How else could it be used? Around question nine, most people get stuck, but pushing through leads to increasingly interesting insights. Creative thinkers also "live in the fog"—embracing the uncomfortable state of not knowing. When Spencer Silver accidentally created a weak adhesive instead of the strong glue he intended, he didn't discard it as a failure. He remained curious for five years, talking about his odd invention with everyone until a colleague suggested it could be used to tack notes to pages without damaging them. That "mistake" became the Post-it note, but only because Spencer was willing to dwell in uncertainty. Another powerful creativity technique is "idea mixology"—making unexpected combinations that spark new insights. When Japanese railway engineer Eiji Nakatsu was trying to solve the problem of noisy trains, inspiration came from watching a kingfisher bird dive into water with barely a splash. By redesigning the train's front to mimic the bird's beak, he created a train that was quieter, faster, and more energy-efficient. Similarly, Pixar co-founder Steve Jobs designed office spaces for "maximum collisions," even placing all bathrooms in the center of the building to force employees from different departments to mingle. Finally, successful creators "iterate"—releasing ideas into the world quickly and making adjustments based on feedback. This approach stands in contrast to the perfectionistic "plan, execute, hope for the best" model that often leads to big, unpleasant surprises at the end. As NuVu Studio's Saba Ghole explains, "It's about being able to explore quickly and make your mistakes early." The true art of creativity lies in finding the sweet spot on the Surprise Seesaw—enough surprise to capture attention but not so much that ideas become too unfamiliar to embrace. Remember that cars, airplanes, and even rolling suitcases once seemed ludicrous. With patience and persistence, today's strange ideas can become tomorrow's everyday reality.

Chapter 5: The Art of Delight: Designing Meaningful Experiences

After an intense collaboration between Sesame Street and IDEO's Toy Lab, it was time to test their new potty training app with the toughest critics: toddlers. While the app was colorful and packed with features, only one button captured the children's attention. The "summon Elmo" button initiated a video call with Elmo, creating the sense that kids were talking directly to their favorite character. The toddlers giggled, grinned, and eagerly listened to Elmo's potty training tips. The designers revamped the app to focus entirely on these calls. Within less than a year of release, Elmo had made over 100 million calls to children, turning an unpleasant activity into something delightful. This transformation illustrates the power of what psychologists call delight—pleasant surprise that triggers dopamine release and creates a desire for more. Research shows that hotel guests who experience "delightful surprise" are 58 percent more likely to return than those who are merely "satisfied," and a full 97 percent express loyalty to the hotel. Creating delight begins with understanding people's expectations. Imagine unwrapping a bagel and finding exactly what you ordered—you feel nothing special. If you find a partially frozen onion bagel with butter when you ordered cream cheese, you're disappointed. But if you discover two perfectly toasted bagels at no extra charge, you experience delight. Each scenario represents a position relative to what researchers call the "expectation bar"—a psychological measuring stick for our predictions about the world. One powerful tool for creating delight is "under promise/over deliver"—setting expectations just slightly lower than what you plan to provide. A luxury goods retailer discovered this principle when a customer named Miriam brought in her worn purse for a simple strap repair. When she returned to pick it up, she found her entire bag had been cleaned and restored for half the quoted price. She burst into tears, not just from saving money but from feeling seen and valued. Another effective technique is "burying a cookie"—hiding small, unexpected pleasures where people least expect them. The Kimpton Hotel in Boston tucks warm chocolate chip cookies and handwritten notes into guests' dashboards before they drive home. Websites create "Easter eggs" like Google's playful search tricks. Even a Post-it note with a personal message can make a difference—research shows that adding a handwritten Post-it to survey requests increases response rates from 36 to 76 percent. Perhaps most surprisingly, the best delights are often those given "just because." Studies show that unexplained acts of kindness create more happiness than those with clear explanations. When students received a gold dollar with mysterious messaging, they were in significantly better moods than students who understood the reason behind the gift. The challenge with delight is sustainability—every time we exceed expectations, the bar rises higher. The solution isn't to avoid delight but to create variety (different flowers are more delightful than the same rose repeatedly) and implement random reinforcement (occasional, unpredictable delights maintain their power). In our stressful, busy world, engineering these moments of unexpected joy isn't just good for business—it's one of the most meaningful things we can do for others.

Chapter 6: Surprise in Relationships: Cultivating Connection Through Wonder

In the span of eighty years, Jean and Dina saw many changes. They finished school, married, raised children, and lived in sixteen different states between them. But one thing remained constant: their friendship that began when they were seven years old in 1934. Despite distance and busy lives, they never lost touch. They mailed letters and gifts, visited when possible, called often, and supported each other through life's toughest moments. Seeing these women together is awe-inspiring—they beam with joy and share glances containing eight decades of memories. Jean and Dina don't just maintain their relationship; they cultivate it. The quality of our relationships profoundly impacts our lives, contributing to our resilience, growth, and fulfillment. Yet without intentional cultivation, even the strongest connections can wither. Surprise plays a crucial role in keeping relationships vibrant, and there are specific tools we can use to harness its power. First, successful relationships maintain complexity—the ability to hold seemingly contradictory views of others simultaneously. Consider fans of the Israeli metal band Orphaned Land, where Christians, Muslims, and Jews stand side by side at concerts, bonding over music despite traditional divisions. When we maintain complexity, we avoid simplistic judgments that fuel conflict and instead remain open to the surprising nuances in others. As conflict scholar Roi Ben-Yehuda explains, "People who are able to maintain nuanced—even contradictory—narratives report greater satisfaction in dealing with conflicts and healthier relationships." Another key principle is balancing oneness and otherness. After fourteen years together, Caitlin and Kara can predict each other's words and actions—they've achieved oneness but lost the otherness that creates desire. Psychologist Esther Perel notes that while we crave stability in relationships, we're most drawn to our partners when there's some distance—when "this person that is already so familiar is momentarily once again somewhat mysterious." The ideal relationship maintains shared experiences while preserving individual identity, like childhood friends Jean and Dina who share innermost thoughts but lead separate lives. Relationships also thrive when balancing novelty and routine. A thirty-year-old gourmet club exemplifies this principle—friends gather regularly (routine) to try new cuisines (novelty). Research confirms that sharing novel activities increases relationship satisfaction significantly more than merely pleasant ones. In one study, couples who performed challenging tasks together—like crawling across mats while bound together—reported greater happiness than those engaged in predictable activities. For lasting relationships, psychologist John Gottman identifies what he calls the "magic ratio": five positive interactions for every negative one. Because our brains process negative experiences more intensely than positive ones, we need multiple positive deposits to counterbalance a single negative withdrawal. This principle applies across all relationship types, from romantic partnerships to workplace teams. Finally, skillful relationship cultivators speak the right "surprise language"—understanding which types of unexpected gestures mean most to different people. Based on Gary Chapman's five love languages, this approach recognizes that some people value words of affirmation, while others prioritize quality time, physical touch, gifts, or acts of service. When Hao realized his son Alan responded most to words rather than the gifts and activities he'd been offering, their relationship transformed after a simple handwritten note: "I'm proud of you. Love, Dad." By applying these principles daily—not just on special occasions—we create relationships that remain both secure and surprising, comfortable and vibrant, through all of life's unexpected turns.

Chapter 7: Everyday Surprise: Transforming Ordinary Life into Extraordinary

Tania considers herself a happy person. Her friends tease her for her silver-lining perspective, she rarely gets upset, and her face often aches from smiling. So it was startling when she recognized she had become depressed. Nothing seemed enjoyable or interesting anymore. Days stretched into weeks with the same gloomy feeling. After surveying her life, she realized the problem: her days had become entirely predictable. She was running a company called Surprise Industries but wasn't surprising herself. How can we possibly surprise ourselves? Not only is it possible—it's vital. When we're surprised, we become completely present, wildly curious, and deeply connected. We don't have to wait for life to surprise us; we can weave surprise into each day using specific tools that transform ordinary experiences into extraordinary ones. One powerful approach is collecting novelty. Tania began taking new dance classes, buying new books, seeing new shows, and meeting new people. From a neurological perspective, novelty activates dopamine and creates new synaptic pathways—almost like an explorer traversing uncharted terrain. Even small novel experiences can get us unstuck and lead us to unexpected discoveries. As author Chris Guillebeau advises, "You gather the courage to try new things by trying new things... and then realizing that not only did you not have anything to be afraid of but new things are usually fun and meaningful." Another essential practice is turning on wonder. While curiosity pushes us to look for answers, wonder allows us to savor questions. When Tania walked through a park with a mindset of "I wonder what I will see," she noticed leaves rushing across streets, scarves blowing behind people like capes, and her own shadow on a tree with hair standing up like a flame. Psychologist Todd Kashdan points out that "no two hugs are the same, no two pizzerias make pizza slices the same way," yet our brains filter out these small differences. By intentionally turning on wonder, we make these subtle surprises visible again. For more profound shifts, we can seek awe—surprise stirred by something unfathomably vast or complex. Research shows that experiencing awe, whether from nature, extraordinary skill, or remarkable ideas, makes time feel more abundant and increases helpfulness. Just watching awe-inspiring nature videos led participants to feel like they had more time and become more patient with others. Growing our comfort zone represents another path to everyday surprise. When nutritionist Kavita arranged a height-related adventure for her husband Hamel (who had a slight fear of heights), she expected to support him through his discomfort. Instead, Hamel loved the experience while Kavita was so terrified she became physically ill—yet afterward described it as one of the best experiences of her life. Each time we take one small step outside our comfort zone, we aren't just temporarily leaving it; we're actually expanding its boundaries. Studies on regret confirm this wisdom: looking back on their lives, only 16 percent of people regret actions they took, while 84 percent regret inaction. Finally, practicing gratitude helps us reset our expectation bars and experience everyday surprises as delightful again. App developer Cesar Kuriyama created 1 Second Everyday to help people remember how far they've come: "I think of my friends... how a couple of years ago they desperately wanted a job and a decent apartment, and now they have it, but it's not what they want anymore... Wouldn't it be nice if they sat down one day and reflected on how things were years ago? Realized they accomplished what they wanted back then?" The most powerful practice of all might be simply asking yourself, "What would a Surprisologist do?" in everyday situations. By embracing and engineering surprise in small daily ways, we don't just enrich our own lives—we make the world richer too, inspiring wonder, connection, vulnerability, growth, and creativity in everyone around us.

Summary

Throughout this journey into the world of surprise, we've discovered that our brains are hardwired to respond to the unexpected in predictable patterns—freezing to focus attention, searching for explanations, shifting our perspectives, and sharing our experiences. This Surprise Sequence isn't just a curious neurological phenomenon; it's a gateway to fuller living. When Natalia Paruz transformed from devastated dancer to celebrated saw musician, when Raghava earned standing ovations through vulnerability, when Jean and Dina maintained an eight-decade friendship through wonder—they all demonstrated the transformative power of embracing what we cannot predict. In a world that increasingly pulls us between anxiety-inducing unpredictability and mind-numbing routine, learning to navigate surprise offers a profound edge. The tools we've explored—building resilience, reframing vulnerability, practicing skillful not-knowing, getting creative, wielding attention, designing delight, making experiences, cultivating relationships, and surprising ourselves—aren't just strategies for handling life's curveballs. They're invitations to a richer existence. By maintaining complexity in our perspectives, balancing novelty with routine, and speaking the right surprise language, we transform ordinary moments into extraordinary connections. When we collect novelty, turn on wonder, seek awe, and grow our comfort zones bit by bit, we discover that the most vibrant life isn't one without surprises, but one where surprise becomes our ally rather than our enemy. The choice is always before us: we can stay on the periphery where things are predictable, or we can reach into the mystery box where both challenges and joy await. And as countless stories have shown us, it's only by reaching in that we discover life's most meaningful treasures.

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Tania Luna

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