The 3 Secrets to Effective Time Investment

The 3 Secrets to Effective Time Investment Plot Summary

Introduction

Time is our most precious resource, yet it seems to slip through our fingers like sand. Each day presents a fresh opportunity to make choices about how we'll spend the next 24 hours, but many of us find ourselves caught in a cycle of overwhelm or ambivalence. We either frantically race to complete everything on our endless to-do lists or struggle to summon the motivation to tackle anything at all. What if there were a different way to approach your relationship with time? Instead of trying to manage it like an unruly beast, you could learn to invest it thoughtfully like a valuable asset. This perspective shift isn't about finding magical extra hours in your day or following rigid productivity systems that don't match your natural tendencies. Rather, it's about clarifying what truly matters to you, setting realistic expectations, and creating simple routines that make success the path of least resistance. When you master these three secrets, you'll experience a profound transformation - achieving more of what matters with less stress and greater peace.

Chapter 1: Clarify Your Action-Based Priorities

At its core, clarifying action-based priorities means getting brutally honest about what deserves your limited time. Unlike vague aspirations or values statements, action-based priorities identify specific behaviors that align your daily choices with your personal definition of success. Rob's story illustrates what happens when priorities remain unclear. Rob was constantly having his time and resources "robbed" by those around him. When Mike, his coworker, took $10 from his wallet for lunch without permission, Rob just accepted it. When his sister Alicia used his credit card for expensive shopping sprees, he rationalized her behavior. When his boss took Rob's year-end bonus to buy himself a yacht, Rob felt disappointed but didn't speak up. Even when colleagues Sherry and Joe charged $1,500 to his account for a hospital gala without asking, Rob simply stood dumbfounded. Like Rob, many of us allow others to spend our time for us instead of investing it for ourselves. We accept unnecessary meetings on our calendars, give family members permission to ask anything at any time, say "yes" to every request from our boss, and never turn down volunteer opportunities. This pattern continues because we haven't clarified which actions truly deserve our precious hours. The path forward begins with defining your personal version of success. This isn't about conforming to societal expectations or imitating someone else's life pattern. Through thoughtful reflection, you can identify what activities genuinely energize you, what motivates you, and what causes you stress. When you know these answers, you can rank different aspects of your life and determine specific supporting actions for each priority. With priorities clarified, decision-making becomes simpler. Eric Farkas, who built a startup while maintaining family balance, described his process: "I've learned to go about making priorities by thinking about my life in this following manner: inner life → relationships → provision → employment → obligations → startup → enjoyment." For Eric, this framework allows him to run every opportunity through his priority filter and ask: "Where does it fit? Given what's been going on in my life lately, can I pursue this opportunity without harming something higher up the priority chain?" Your priorities will naturally shift during different seasons of life, much like a dynamic model with interconnected rings. When one area expands—such as work during a big project or health during an illness—other areas must temporarily contract. The key is recognizing these natural fluctuations and recalibrating accordingly, whether through a major systemic decision, a situational strategy change, or simply accepting a tough phase. Remember that clarifying action-based priorities isn't a one-time exercise but an ongoing process of evaluation and adjustment. As Brett Sonnenschein, husband of Working Mother's editorial director, shared: "These days, the biggest change I've experienced as a working father has been how I define success. Equally important as salary and meaningful work is the ability to race out twice a week at 5 p.m. to pick up two kids." This clarity allows you to invest your time purposefully rather than having it spent for you.

Chapter 2: Embrace Realistic Expectations

Embracing realistic expectations means accepting a fundamental truth: reality always wins. You can either fight against it or align with it. The difference between feeling successful or constantly frustrated often comes down to what you expect to accomplish in a day, week, or year. Consider the stark contrast between realistic and unrealistic daily expectations. With realistic expectations, you plan to wake at 6:30 a.m., allowing enough time to get ready comfortably and arrive at work by 8:30. You anticipate a 30-minute commute and accept that unexpected traffic might occur. You schedule three major tasks for your workday, knowing you'll need to handle unexpected emails and calls. You plan to wrap up by 5:30 p.m., acknowledging you might need to stay until 6:00 occasionally. You expect to arrive home by 6:30 p.m., cook a simple 30-minute meal, and have an evening with some time for relaxation before bed. With unrealistic expectations, however, you set your alarm for 6:00 a.m. but hit snooze multiple times, finally rising at 6:45 feeling rushed and frustrated. You expect a 20-minute commute despite consistent evidence it takes longer. You plan to complete eight major tasks plus attend three meetings, becoming increasingly anxious as your day fills with interruptions. You aim to leave by 5:00 p.m. but rarely manage it, causing cascading disappointment when you arrive home later than planned. You attempt to cook an elaborate new recipe that takes twice as long as anticipated, then feel overwhelmed when bedtime arrives with no personal time. The bottom line in both scenarios is identical: you don't have realistic expectations. Shifting from the second column to the first can dramatically transform your experience of life and empower you to achieve more success with less stress. Setting realistic expectations involves three crucial areas: your expectations of yourself, others' expectations of you, and your expectations of others. For yourself, this means letting go of harmful comparison and perfectionism. One client struggled with ordering office supplies, communication documents, and design projects—all with equal perfectionist intensity. We created an assessment that helped him objectively evaluate his tendencies and implement the INO technique: identifying which activities were truly Investment activities deserving maximum effort, which were Neutral activities requiring standard attention, and which were Optimize activities best completed efficiently or delegated. For managing others' expectations of you, effective negotiation is key. When clients or bosses place unrealistic demands on your time, document your current projects, estimate time requirements, overlay these estimates on your available work hours, and discuss your findings openly. One consultant with a 30-hour contract used this approach to secure deadline extensions when his client's expectations exceeded his capacity. Finally, for your expectations of others, practice what I call the 3E technique: Empathize (try to see the situation from their perspective), Evaluate (assess whether your standards are appropriate or merely preferences), and Encourage (determine how to motivate positive behavior while building the relationship). As Bethenny Frankel wisely states in A Place of Yes: "From now on, through the rest of your life, you will be faced with choices. Make the right ones for you." Embracing realistic expectations gives you the freedom to make these choices wisely.

Chapter 3: Build Sustainable Routines

Building sustainable routines transforms effective time investment from an exhausting daily battle into your natural path of least resistance. Routines act as standard operating procedures that make flowing through daily activities, responding to inputs, and progressing on important goals nearly effortless. My morning routine illustrates this natural flow. My internal clock wakes me at 6 a.m. I immediately grab my Bible and journal from my nightstand and take them to my dining room spot. While my coffee brews, I prepare a simple breakfast and take my vitamins. As I eat, I read a short Bible passage and ponder its meaning. Then I meditate for about an hour, which might involve prayer journaling, listening to affirmations, or simply lying on the floor sorting thoughts. Around 7:30 a.m., I transition from being to doing—tidying up breakfast items, straightening the house, and preparing for the day ahead. By 8:30 a.m., I'm at my computer beginning my morning processing routine. This wake-up ritual is specifically designed to make getting out of bed, spending time in prayer and meditation, eating well, and feeling good about my physical environment as easy as possible. I don't need to think about what will happen when—I simply flow through the motions. Routines increase your sense of control, especially when life feels chaotic. One client who worked at a small biotech company struggled with feeling constantly overloaded despite having job flexibility and variety. He described his situation: "I know I have so much potential, but I try to make everyone happy, and I lose out. I think the better I get at things, the less time I have. Now I'm getting too good, and I'm suffering for it." During our coaching, we developed simple routines for daily planning, exercising, getting to bed earlier, and making time for friends on weekends. The client discovered: "I can't believe how small, incremental changes really made a difference in my thought process about being organized. I learned not to be so hard on myself and that I don't have to be so strict about organizing. There is a gray area where I do have a choice." Routines also build momentum on big, scary projects. Another client, a successful writer and professor, was stuck on her next collection of linked short stories. She reflected: "I am scattered and making erratic progress with this or that. I want to make solid steps forward. I want to reclaim my life and place in the literary firmament, get healthy and in shape, and have fun!" We developed a morning writing routine that turned her top professional priority from a dreaded activity into a peaceful part of her daily schedule. Over six months, she found that following her routine and putting herself in her writing space for two hours each day allowed inspiration to come and her writing to move forward naturally. "Having and sticking with a schedule is the single most important thing I can do for myself as an artist, as a woman living a rather complex and exciting life, and as someone newly aware that many of my problems stem from having ADHD," she concluded. If you prefer spontaneity, the idea of routines might seem restrictive. Remember that routines don't need to be rigid regimens that make you feel trapped. They simply provide a gravitational pull that keeps you from flying out of orbit. When properly designed, routines actually increase your freedom by making mundane details effortless, leaving more energy for creativity and new experiences. Creating effective routines requires intentional practice. As one coaching client insightfully observed after comparing his resistance to time management with his enthusiasm for exercise: "With time management, in many ways I'm still a novice: I don't feel like I'm really good at it and just don't have enough history and experience. I need to focus on simple things I can do, make them very concrete, and keep practicing until I get good. I need to be patient and gentle with myself, not set an extremely aggressive goal and then beat myself up when I don't reach it."

Chapter 4: Create Powerful Accountability Systems

Creating powerful accountability systems provides essential support for lasting change in how you invest your time. Even with the best intentions and strategies, we all need structure to stay aligned with our highest priorities. My journey to securing a book contract illustrates this principle perfectly. Writing a nonfiction book proposal was challenging for me in several ways. As a time coach, I'd trained myself to be disciplined, but I still struggled to choose long-term project work over short-term wins. Following a strict proposal formula felt constraining compared to my natural writing style. Most significantly, I feared rejection—that all my work would be wasted and I'd feel like a failure. Knowing I would face strong emotional resistance, I established a multi-layered accountability system. I set a schedule to read portions of a guide book each week and work on corresponding proposal sections. My assistant helped with market research and formatting. I committed to telling my assistant, accountability partner, and father what I accomplished weekly. Even with this structure, I experienced periods of greater and lesser productivity. The feedback process was particularly challenging. After one discouraging round of comments, I vented: "I hate this. This is annoying. I don't like negative feedback. I don't like discouragement. I don't like rejection. This is taking too long." Yet I persisted with the encouragement of professional advocates like Cal Newport and personal supporters like my parents and friends. The following year, through another accountability relationship with my book agent, we refined the proposal until it was ready for submission. After some initial rejections, everything changed within one magical week—an editor expressed interest, and my first Harvard Business Review article went live simultaneously. Without my accountability systems, this book would never have materialized. Marshall Goldsmith, author of What Got You Here Won't Get You There, confirms the necessity of accountability for lasting change. After analyzing data from over 86,000 leadership development participants, he concluded: "Real leadership development involves a process that takes time... Nobody ever changed for the better by going to a training session. They got better by doing what they learned in the program." Effective accountability begins with honesty about three crucial points. First, what do you really want? You must document your personal definition of success and the specific routines needed to achieve it. Second, what can you really do? Assess whether your desired actions create a sustainable schedule given your current reality. Third, how will you track results? Develop a routine for regular assessment that prevents both excessive self-criticism and excessive self-indulgence. Beyond self-accountability, transparency with another person provides stronger support. Your accountability partner should be someone responsive, encouraging, and appropriate for the specific area you're addressing. The frequency of contact depends on your needs—daily, weekly, or monthly check-ins can all work depending on the circumstances. You can narrow or broaden the scope of accountability as desired and structure interactions from formal question-answer sessions to casual conversations. Group accountability offers even more powerful support through built-in structure and positive peer pressure. Whether it's a running club, Weight Watchers, or a professional "mastermind," joining with others pursuing similar goals dramatically increases your probability of success. Would you go running alone at 6 a.m. on Saturday? Probably not. But knowing others expect you there makes all the difference. Some organizations have integrated accountability routines directly into their work culture with remarkable results. Adobe Systems intentionally creates true vacation opportunities through company-wide shutdowns and sabbaticals. Boston Consulting Group implemented a "predictable time off" approach where teams commit to ensuring everyone disconnects completely for defined periods. Menlo Innovations built their entire software development process around accountability routines that enable employees to maintain a 40-hour workweek while delivering exceptional results. The highest achievers don't deny their weaknesses; they acknowledge them and create systems to stay on track. As one coaching client reflected: "Coaching with Elizabeth has had a great impact on my life. I've worked on trying to improve my time management and organization for years, but going through a coaching series with her helped me actually get more of what I 'know' into practice."

Chapter 5: Navigate Time Personality Conflicts

Navigating time personality conflicts requires understanding different perspectives and developing effective strategies to reduce unnecessary drama. When time personalities clash at home or work, your actions can be perceived as inconsiderate or disrespectful, leading to resentment, guilt, and frustration. Lucy and Jason's story perfectly illustrates this conflict. Lucy, a planner, had meticulously prepared for their dinner with friends, even skipping her lunch break to bake a special casserole. Jason, spontaneous by nature, forgot about their 7 p.m. plans until 6:45. When he called to apologize, Lucy grew increasingly agitated as she waited, thinking: "How could Jason just forget? Doesn't he care that our friends have kids who need early bedtimes?" Meanwhile, Jason hurried home, catching the next train and driving efficiently. He arrived at 7:20, rather pleased with his near-record time. Far from impressed, Lucy greeted him with a scowl. When she discovered her carefully prepared casserole had burned, she blamed Jason entirely. They left for dinner an hour late—Jason satisfied with his casserole-salvaging skills, Lucy mortified that her preparation had been wasted. This scenario highlights how different time personalities view the world. Planners feel good when life goes according to plan and everything on their list gets done. Their plan is their personal measuring stick for daily success, and they see making plans as a sign of valuing activities and relationships. When spontaneous people won't commit to plans, change arrangements last-minute, or forget commitments, planners feel unvalued and insecure. Conversely, spontaneous individuals want to remain responsive to whatever emerges in the moment. They worry about letting people down but resist making advance commitments for fear of expectations they might not meet. When planners insist on sticking to predetermined plans regardless of current circumstances, spontaneous people feel unnecessarily restricted and controlled. Even when understanding the opposite perspective, conflicts can persist. However, you can take steps to improve the situation even if the other person doesn't change. If you're spontaneous, remind yourself that planners aren't trying to control you maliciously. Give yourself freedom to be spontaneous in certain areas while accepting more structure in others. Develop a consistent calendar system to track commitments, and always communicate changes promptly. If you're a planner, remember that spontaneous people aren't deliberately making you feel unvalued. Make "plans to make plans" by scheduling follow-up conversations when spontaneous people aren't ready to commit. Book tickets or RSVP for yourself when necessary, recognizing others may or may not join you. Decide what truly requires planning and keep other arrangements tentative with confirmation closer to the date. When issues persist despite these adjustments, carefully consider whether a conversation is warranted. Ask yourself: Is this about right versus wrong, or merely preference? Is there an unusual circumstance causing increased tension? Is this a pattern or isolated incident? Is the apparent issue masking a deeper concern? If a discussion seems necessary, choose an appropriate time when neither person feels rushed, tired, or stressed. Then follow this conversation structure: share your facts (objective observations), tell your story (your interpretation of those facts), ask for their perspective, speak tentatively (avoid presenting your interpretation as the only valid one), and encourage testing (show openness to their viewpoint). Despite best efforts, conflicts will occasionally occur. When they do, follow these recovery steps: validate your feelings without judgment, forgive the person (whether they've apologized or not), set appropriate boundaries to prevent recurring hurt, and develop systems to increase control and reduce future conflicts. Author Adrian Tan offers this wisdom about navigating differences: "I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. This is false. Modern society is anti-love. We've taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It's far easier to find a reason not to love someone than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work."

Chapter 6: Practice Self-Compassion Daily

Practicing self-compassion daily transforms how you approach time investment by replacing harsh self-judgment with understanding and kindness. This shift doesn't just feel better—it actually improves your performance and resilience when facing challenges. Michaela, a time coaching client balancing a full-time job with university studies, discovered this truth through our work together. Despite initially believing that self-criticism would drive productivity, she found herself constantly overwhelmed and exhausted. Through coaching, she developed ten powerful tools for practicing self-compassion: "I really like that the university forces me to grow," Michaela reflected. "And this semester, even with lingering self-doubt, hurt, and fears, I have seen improvements I never thought I could make." Her journey revealed that self-compassion wasn't about lowering standards but about relating to herself differently during the process. Among her most important discoveries was learning to validate her emotions: "When I feel deprived, alone, and exhausted, I probably am, and it is not a dumb feeling that doesn't know how much there is still to do. The best way to deal with it is not rationalizing and fighting it. It is doing something for me that I think I am missing, like taking a nap, relaxing a few hours, meeting friends, or doing something sporty." Michaela also realized that physical self-care wasn't a distraction from productivity but essential to it: "Doing something for my body is extremely important for my energy, for my mood, for my health, and for my feelings. I cannot postpone it. This also helps me get things done in a better way instead of preventing me from doing the things I 'have' to do." Perhaps her most profound insight concerned accepting imperfection: "It is enough being me. I don't have to be fast or especially smart or funny or self-confident. I can make progress just as I am." This understanding allowed her to separate her worth from her performance—a critical distinction for effective time investment. The New York Times article "Go Easy on Yourself, a New Wave of Research Shows" confirms Michaela's experience. Research suggests that giving ourselves a break and accepting our imperfections may be the first step toward better health. People who score high on tests of self-compassion have less depression and anxiety and tend to be happier and more optimistic. Preliminary data suggest that self-compassion can even influence how much we eat and may help some people lose weight. To practice self-compassion in your daily life, begin by speaking to yourself as you would to a good friend. Accept yourself as you are with phrases like, "Even though I _______, I deeply and completely accept myself." Validate difficulties: "Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. I'm making a difficult change, and it's okay if I encounter setbacks." Celebrate progress relative to your past performance rather than comparing yourself to others. When perfectionism threatens to derail your efforts, ask yourself: "What really matters most to me? Is perfectionism helping me achieve what's most important or holding me back? What would happen if I relaxed my standards?" Remember that 90 percent perfect and done almost always creates more positive impact than 100 percent perfect but stuck in your head. Self-compassion extends to how you structure your time investment as well. Instead of pushing yourself relentlessly, build deliberate rest into your schedule. Create clear boundaries around work hours, learn to say "no" to lower priorities, and allocate time for activities that replenish your energy. As Cheryl Butler, mother of eight and prolific writer, advises: "By having some sacred space that is just yours, you will teach your kids how to respect your personal boundaries." This approach doesn't mean abandoning discipline or responsibility. Rather, it means recognizing that sustainable productivity flows from well-being, not from self-deprivation. As one client discovered: "I need to focus on simple things I can do, make them very concrete, and keep practicing until I get good. I need to be patient and gentle with myself, not set an extremely aggressive goal and then beat myself up when I don't reach it." Through daily self-compassion practice, you'll develop what psychologist Richard Davidson calls emotional resilience—the ability to recover quickly from setbacks and maintain perspective during challenges. This resilience becomes a foundation for effective time investment that sustains you through both ordinary days and extraordinary demands.

Chapter 7: Measure Progress, Not Perfection

Measuring progress rather than pursuing perfection creates the momentum needed for lasting transformation in how you invest your time. This shift from an all-or-nothing mindset to celebrating incremental improvements keeps you motivated through inevitable setbacks. One creative professional's journey illustrates this principle beautifully. This successful, well-published writer who taught in a university graduate program found herself stuck on her next collection of linked short stories. Her perfectionist tendencies led to procrastination, and her recent ADHD diagnosis left her questioning her approach to writing. "I have lots of ink in The New York Times that I have written and that has been written about me. So I have talent," she acknowledged. "I also need to know what I need to do, like a solid schedule? Work impulsively? Okay, I know the answer to that." Through our coaching, we developed a morning writing routine that measured progress in terms of showing up consistently rather than producing perfect prose. We tried different approaches—one involving coffee, breakfast, dog-walking, meditation, and dressing before writing; another involving just coffee and immediate writing. The end result was a personalized hybrid that transformed writing from a dreaded activity into a peaceful part of her day. Over six months, she discovered that if she followed her morning routine and put herself in her writing space for two hours daily (with a timer set), the inspiration came naturally, and her project advanced steadily. "I've found that the actual schedule that I longed for would absolutely drive me around the bend," she reflected, "so I have a flexitarian schedule and am getting things done. Having and sticking with a schedule is the single most important thing I can do for myself as an artist, as a woman living a rather complex and exciting life, and as someone newly aware that many of my problems stem from having ADHD." To implement this progress-focused approach in your own life, start by identifying one measurable action step you can take daily toward your goal. This might be spending 30 minutes on a job application, saying one kind thing to repair a strained relationship, or writing a single paragraph of your report. Create a simple system for recording these actions—perhaps a weekly checklist, star stickers, or crossing items off your calendar. Crucially, celebrate enthusiastically whenever you complete your intended action. This positive reinforcement builds momentum far more effectively than self-criticism. When you inevitably miss some days, turn off your emotions momentarily and analyze the situation objectively: "What can I do differently next time so that I complete the desired action steps?" On a less frequent basis—weekly or monthly—measure your desired results. If you see any progress in the right direction, celebrate like you just scored the winning touchdown! Even minimal improvements deserve recognition as success in the making. If you don't see progress, resist the temptation toward frustration or defiance. Instead, step back, observe, and learn from the experience to adjust your approach. This method works equally well for professional goals and personal habits. One client struggling with consistent exercise created a tracking system that acknowledged even small improvements: "I went on a walk twice this week. That was 200 percent more than I have done in the last six months. I'm really proud of that improvement." By celebrating these small wins and working toward a specific reward (downloading new books and songs after two weeks of consistent walking), he built momentum that led to lasting change. When developing tracking systems, design them to fit your personality. Moderators prefer flexibility ("I will go on a morning walk three to four times a week"), while abstainers thrive with clear boundaries ("I will go on a 20-minute walk every morning except Wednesday"). Neither approach is inherently better—what matters is choosing the system that motivates you personally. Remember that lasting change comes through deliberate practice. As Anders Ericsson and Paul Ward explain in Current Directions in Psychological Science: "Flow states are incompatible with deliberate practice, in which individuals engage in a training activity aimed at reaching a level just beyond the currently attainable level of performance by engaging in full concentration, analysis after feedback, and repetitions with refinement." In other words, improvement requires effort, but measuring progress rather than demanding perfection makes this effort sustainable.

Summary

Throughout this journey, we've explored the profound impact that your time investment choices have on every dimension of your life. From clarifying what truly matters to embracing realistic expectations, from building sustainable routines to creating powerful accountability systems, each principle builds upon the others to create a foundation for transformative change. The most powerful truth revealed in these pages echoes in the words of Warren Buffett: "The rich invest in time; the poor invest in money." Your approach to time—whether you allow it to be spent for you or consciously invest it in alignment with your personal definition of success—ultimately determines the quality of your life experience. Today presents an opportunity to make different choices, to release yourself from the tyranny of overwhelm or the listlessness of ambivalence, and to begin creating the life you truly desire. Take one action today to reclaim ownership of your time. Whether it's clarifying a single priority, setting a more realistic expectation, or establishing a simple morning routine, begin where you are with what you have. Remember that progress, not perfection, is the goal. Each incremental improvement compounds over time, gradually transforming how you experience your days and ultimately, your life.

About Author

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Elizabeth Grace Saunders

About Real Life E®Elizabeth Grace Saunders is the founder and CEO of Real Life E® a time coaching and training company that empowers individuals who feel guilty, overwhelmed and frustrated to feel peaceful, confident and accomplished through an exclusive Schedule Makeover™ process. She is an expert on achieving more success with less stress. Real Life E® also increases employee productivity, satisfaction and work/life balance through custom training programs.McGraw Hill published her first book The 3 Secrets to Effective Time Investment: How to Achieve More Success with Less Stress. Elizabeth contributes to blogs like Lifehacker, Harvard Business Review, Forbes, and the 99U blog on productivity for creative professionals. She was selected as one of the Top 25 Amazing Women of the Year by Stiletto Woman.

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