The Big Leap

The Big Leap Plot Summary

Introduction

Have you ever noticed that just when things start going incredibly well in your life, something happens to bring you crashing back down? Perhaps you finally land that promotion, only to get into a needless argument with your spouse that same evening. Or maybe your business is thriving beyond expectation when suddenly you fall ill or make an inexplicable mistake. This seemingly random pattern is no coincidence - it's what psychologists call the "Upper Limit Problem." Each of us has an internal thermostat setting that determines how much success, wealth, and happiness we allow ourselves to enjoy. When we exceed our inner threshold, we unconsciously do something to sabotage ourselves, returning to our comfort zone. This invisible ceiling was programmed into us early in life, before we could even think for ourselves. But here's the good news: once you understand this one problem and how to solve it, you'll be free to go beyond ordinary success to extraordinary levels of abundance, love, and creativity. This journey will take you through identifying your hidden barriers, mastering your relationship with time, and ultimately discovering how to live permanently in your Zone of Genius - the place where you can make your greatest contribution to the world.

Chapter 1: Identify Your Upper Limit Problem

The Upper Limit Problem is the one issue that, when solved, allows you to reach your full potential in all areas of life. It functions like a hidden thermostat in your mind that's programmed with a specific setting for how much success, wealth, happiness, and love you will permit yourself to enjoy. When you exceed this subconscious setting - when life is going extremely well - you'll unconsciously do something to bring yourself back down to your comfortable limit. Consider the story of Bill Clinton, who once stood in line to tour the White House and told an attendant, "I am going to live here someday as president." And he achieved that goal. But then his Upper Limit Problem kicked in, and he self-sabotaged his success by getting involved in a scandal that led to impeachment. He failed to understand his Upper Limit Problem, which kept him from fully enjoying his place in American history. The same pattern appears in countless successful people's lives - John Belushi, Boris Becker, and many others who rose meteorically only to sabotage themselves when they reached unprecedented heights. Successful musician Bonnie Raitt demonstrates how to overcome this pattern. For years, she enjoyed a solid reputation as a blues musician, but her albums were never bestsellers. Like many artists, she struggled with addiction issues that consumed much of her energy. It wasn't until she got sober that she made her Big Leap. With newfound clarity, she consciously chose to move beyond her comfort zone as an "Excellent Blues Musician" and launch herself into mainstream rock music. She visualized success, even imagining the specific dress she would wear when receiving a Grammy. Not long after, she stood on stage receiving an award for her album "Nick of Time," which sold millions of copies. The breakthrough came when Raitt recognized her own self-imposed limits and made a deliberate choice to transcend them. She took what I call the "Big Leap" - the courageous jump from her Zone of Excellence (where she was competent but not fully utilizing her potential) into her Zone of Genius (where her unique abilities could flourish). This shift required confronting deep fears about deserving success and letting go of the safety of her familiar identity. To begin your own journey of transcending upper limits, ask yourself these questions: Am I willing to increase the amount of time every day that I feel good inside? Am I willing to increase the amount of time that my whole life goes well? And most importantly, am I willing to feel good and have my life go well all the time? In our culture, saying yes to feeling consistently good is actually a radical act, given how much evidence surrounds us that life is meant to be difficult. The path forward isn't about gathering more information but about dissolving the false foundations that hold your Upper Limit Problem in place. Start by committing to discovering your own Upper Limit behaviors with an attitude of wonder and play rather than criticism. Pay attention to how you sabotage yourself when things go well - through worry, criticism, illness, squabbling, or not keeping agreements. Each time you notice these patterns, you gain the power to expand your capacity for success, abundance, and joy.

Chapter 2: Transcend Hidden Barriers to Achievement

The Upper Limit Problem is maintained by four hidden barriers, each based on a false belief that gets embedded in our psychology early in life. Understanding which barriers affect you is the key to dismantling them and experiencing true liberation. Most people have at least one of these barriers, though typically not all four. The first and most pervasive barrier is the feeling of being fundamentally flawed. Carl, one of my clients, carried this belief due to his early childhood experiences. As the first child of a powerful executive, his parents divorced when he was just out of diapers. His father remarried and started another family, and during a moment of alcohol-induced candor, confessed to Carl that he could never look at him without simultaneously feeling hatred for Carl's mother. Though the father's issues had nothing to do with Carl himself, the young boy internalized this treatment as evidence of his own unworthiness. His unconscious mantra became: "I cannot expand to my full creative genius because something is fundamentally wrong with me." The second barrier manifests as the belief that by succeeding, you're being disloyal to your roots. A newlywed couple I counseled, Robert and Dee, demonstrated this perfectly. Robert came from an "old money" family while Dee was raised in a hippie enclave by a single mother. Robert's family disapproved of Dee, but the couple was deeply in love. In a moment of euphoria, they impulsively married in Reno instead of having the fancy wedding Robert's family expected. While celebrating their elopement, they had an unfortunate encounter with poison oak, resulting in a miserable rash. This physical manifestation symbolized their unconscious guilt about breaking family rules and expectations. The third barrier is the belief that you're a burden in the world. I personally struggled with this one. My father died shortly after my conception, leaving my mother widowed with my older brother and an unexpected pregnancy. Though my grandparents were thrilled about my arrival, my mother went into depression for about a year after I was born. Starting life as both a burden and a celebration caused me to repeat this pattern in adulthood. I would experience positive breakthroughs, then immediately feel I was burdening the world. This played out painfully when I proudly gave copies of my first published book to my mother and brother, who barely acknowledged the achievement. The fourth barrier involves the fear of outshining others. Kenny Loggins, the successful musician, struggled with this issue. Despite his Grammy-winning success, he couldn't enjoy his achievements and would sabotage himself after each victory. Working with Kenny, I discovered that he had grown up as a gifted child competing with a favored sibling for parental attention. He received hidden messages not to outshine his sibling. This early programming initially worked in his musical partnership with Jim Messina, but created problems when he went solo. The breakthrough came when Kenny recognized this pattern and created his album "Leap of Faith," which addressed deeper themes and became both a commercial and critical success. To break free from these barriers, you need to understand which ones affect you most. Then, recognize that these barriers exist only in your mind, based on misinterpretations of childhood experiences. The actual "crimes" you were convicted of in childhood - being flawed, disloyal, burdensome, or too bright - were never real crimes at all. By shining awareness on these false beliefs, you can dissolve them and remove the glass ceiling that has been limiting your success and happiness.

Chapter 3: Expand Your Capacity for Success and Joy

The Upper Limit Problem manifests in our daily lives through specific behaviors that sabotage our happiness and success. By learning to recognize these patterns in action, you gain the power to transcend them and expand your capacity for positive energy. Think of this as daily maintenance, like brushing your teeth - something you commit to observing regularly. Worry is perhaps the most common Upper Limit behavior. When things are going well, we'll suddenly start worrying about something, manufacturing scenarios of things falling apart. I discovered in my own life that 99% of my worrying was completely unnecessary - it was just a way to choke the flow of positive energy within myself. To handle worry effectively, first determine if it concerns something real that you can actually do something about right now. If not, recognize it as an Upper Limit symptom. When worry thoughts arise, simply drop them and shift your focus to what positive new thing might be trying to emerge in your life. A Manhattan businessman I worked with experienced this shift on his daily subway commute. Running late one morning, he felt panic rising when he couldn't check his watch in the crowded train. Suddenly remembering our conversation about time, he thought, "I am time, and I'll make enough of it so I won't be late for my meeting." He relaxed his body and focused on the present moment. When he arrived at his destination, he discovered he was actually the first person there, while others streamed in complaining about delays. Criticism and blame form another Upper Limit pattern. When we criticize others, it usually has nothing to do with the person we're criticizing. We're simply trying to retard the flow of positive energy because we've hit our Upper Limit. John, a top executive at Dell Computer, would sometimes explode in anger at his team members. Through coaching, we discovered these blow-ups often followed good news or potential compliments. His pattern had roots in childhood, where his father's "compliments" always contained hidden criticisms. Recognizing this, John called his executives together and shared his insight, creating one of the most powerful moments in their business relationships. Deflection is another common behavior - avoiding positive energy altogether by refusing to accept compliments or acknowledge success. During a round of golf with two attorneys, I witnessed constant deflections: "Nice shot." "Nah, I didn't make full contact." When someone offers positive energy, pause to let it register, then thank them. This practice expands your capacity to feel and appreciate natural good feelings. To transform these Upper Limit behaviors, maintain an attitude of playful wonder rather than self-criticism. Make a commitment to discovering your patterns while having a good time learning about them. Create a list of your specific Upper Limit behaviors, and when you notice yourself engaging in them, shift your attention to the real issue: expanding your capacity for abundance, love, and success. With practice, you'll build new neural pathways that allow you to sustain positive energy for longer periods, gradually raising your Upper Limit threshold.

Chapter 4: Operate in Your Zone of Genius

Discovering and living in your Zone of Genius is your life's Big Leap. Everything up until now has been about hops, not leaps. To understand this concept, consider that our activities in life occur in four main zones. The Zone of Incompetence consists of activities we're not good at, where others can do better. The Zone of Competence includes activities we're adequate at, but others can do just as well. The Zone of Excellence encompasses activities we do extremely well and can make a good living from. But it's the Zone of Genius that represents our ultimate home - where we use our unique abilities and feel most alive. Many successful people get trapped in their Zone of Excellence, feeling a dull, sluggish feeling within despite outward achievements. I experienced this myself halfway through my life. I could sleepwalk through writing books, giving speeches, and coaching executives. The money kept pouring in, but I felt increasingly empty. On my fiftieth birthday, after discovering I needed to borrow money to pay taxes despite my "success," I confronted this sluggish feeling and realized I had gotten comfortably numb in my Zone of Excellence, overlooking the beckoning calls of my Zone of Genius. Making the shift requires first committing to living in your Zone of Genius before you know how. Think of Indiana Jones stepping out into thin air before a bridge appeared beneath his feet. The power of commitment brings forth the means necessary. Say to yourself: "I commit to living in my Zone of Genius, now and forever." Then explore four key Genius Questions to uncover your path. The first question is: "What do I most love to do?" For me, it's translating important, life-changing concepts into simple, practical tools people can use. Two women struggling in their corporate consulting business discovered they both loved bringing a spirit of play to seemingly dull corporate seminars. Yet their marketing materials had become sterile and "professional," lacking the very quality that made them special. When they reinfused playfulness into their work, their business thrived. The second question asks: "What work do I do that doesn't seem like work?" A CEO who came to me unable to sleep since his promotion realized through this question that what he loved most was informally connecting with other executives. Since his promotion, he'd stopped this practice entirely. When he resumed his "wandering around," his sleep immediately improved. The third question explores: "In my work, what produces the highest ratio of abundance and satisfaction to time spent?" For some, it might be connecting with customers in a certain way or taking time for creative thinking. For me, it's the free play of ideas in my mind - letting thoughts tumble and transform until something useful emerges. The final question addresses your unique ability: "What is my special gift that, fully realized and put to work, can provide enormous benefits to me and any organization I serve?" This ability is often camouflaged inside a larger skill. My unique ability is creating a space that brings forth innovative solutions, allowing people to discover creative answers they hadn't thought of before. By answering these questions and committing to your Zone of Genius, you build a foundation for your Big Leap. Despite fears and doubts that will inevitably arise, this path leads to an experience of work that doesn't feel like work, where time flows rather than flies, and where you contribute your greatest gifts to the world.

Chapter 5: Master Einstein Time for Peak Productivity

For your life to work harmoniously, you need to develop a healthy relationship with time. Most people struggle with balancing priorities, constantly feeling rushed or that there's never enough time. This stress comes from a fundamental misunderstanding about how time actually works. The solution lies in what I call "Einstein Time," inspired by Einstein's theory of relativity. The quantum leap in productivity comes when you embrace one profound truth: You're where time comes from. This may sound strange, but it's how time actually works. Instead of being a victim of time, you become its source. When you make this shift, you can generate as much time as you need, and your productivity, creativity, and enjoyment increase dramatically. I discovered this principle during a personal crisis twenty years ago. Feeling constantly rushed and stressed, I took a three-day walkabout in the Rocky Mountains. On the last day, I realized my understanding of time was based on an outdated Newtonian paradigm that sees time as a finite resource outside ourselves. In that moment, I shifted to Einstein's paradigm - understanding that time is relative and generated from within. Everything changed, and I've gotten everything done in half the time ever since, without feeling rushed. The Newtonian view of time creates a dualistic split where we perceive time as an external entity that puts pressure on us. We become time's victim, always either "running out of time" or watching seconds creep by. This paradigm guarantees you'll always have a problem with time - either too little or too much, rushing or bored. Einstein Time works differently. When you're doing something you love, time seems to expand and flow; when you're doing something unpleasant, time congeals and slows down. This happens because your relationship with space changes. When you're with someone you love, your awareness expands outward; you want to occupy every possible bit of space in the present moment. As your consciousness expands into space, time disappears. Conversely, when you're uncomfortable, you contract away from space, making time seem to slow down painfully. To implement Einstein Time, start by going on a "no complaints about time" diet. Notice how many of your conversations contain statements like "I don't have time" or "Where did the time go?" Each complaint portrays you as time's victim. When you stop complaining about time, you free up energy to transform your inner relationship with it. Replace phrases like "I don't have time to do that right now" (which is usually a lie) with more honest statements such as "I want to finish what I'm working on before I do that." Notice what time pressure feels like in your body - for me, it's pressure between my spine and heart, pushing toward my chest. By recognizing these sensations, you can begin to transform them. The key to mastering Einstein Time is asking yourself: "Where in my life am I not taking full ownership?" Stress and conflict come from resisting acceptance and ownership. When you fully accept and own all aspects of your life, time expands to meet your needs. An executive at a talent agency described his experience with Einstein Time as "changing from using my elbows to drive a car to realizing I could use my hands. Suddenly a lot of frantic activity seemed no longer necessary." The benefits reported by those who adopt Einstein Time include getting more done without feeling rushed, ending workdays with less fatigue, and having time for leisurely conversations that would have been cut short before. While the insight that you are the source of time takes only a second to comprehend, integrating it into daily life requires practice and attention. As you eliminate complaints about time and take ownership of your experience, you'll find yourself less busy while accomplishing much more, with abundant energy for your creative pursuits.

Chapter 6: Cultivate Thriving Relationships

As you break free from your Upper Limit Problem, relationships become one of the most important areas for applying your new awareness. Interestingly, the more successful you become, the more challenging your relationships tend to be. A comprehensive study of 437 successful people found that 80% had unsatisfying marriages and long-term relationships. Only 20% had what researchers called "vital" relationships, while the majority experienced either "devitalized" relationships (staying together despite having fallen out of love), "passive-congenial" relationships (based on friendship rather than passion), or "conflict-habituated" relationships (characterized by constant arguments). This high rate of relationship dissatisfaction among successful people occurs for two main reasons: the challenges that come with success itself, and a lack of understanding about the Upper Limit Problem. When both partners in a relationship are successful, they must each deal with their Upper Limit issues more intensely, often triggering each other's hidden barriers. A famous couple I worked with, whom I'll call Jim and Jane, illustrated this pattern. Their relationship had been going well for five years until a sudden upsurge in success put them on magazine covers and attracted paparazzi. By the time they came to me, they had been bickering constantly for nearly two years. Both carried the false belief that they were fundamentally flawed and didn't deserve success. When their careers skyrocketed, this hidden belief emerged forcefully, causing them to sabotage their relationship. Projection plays a major role in relationship difficulties. This occurs when you attribute to others something that's true about yourself. For example, a man might complain that his wife is too passive, when in reality, he has not learned to handle relationships with powerful, equal women. A woman might complain her partner dominates her, when she hasn't learned to be her own boss and claim her full space in the world. These projections fuel power struggles that drain energy and intimacy. To transform relationships, both partners need to take 100% responsibility for creating their reality. When both people understand how the Upper Limit Problem works, they can adjust their "thermostats" upward together, learning to handle increasing amounts of positive energy and intimacy. This involves noticing how you limit love and positive energy - whether through overeating, drinking too much, deflecting compliments, or starting arguments when intimacy increases. For successful people in relationships, several practices can help. First, take plenty of time for yourself, honoring the twin human drives for connection and autonomy. This prevents unconsciously starting arguments just to get space. Second, prioritize speaking the microscopic truth about your emotions, using simple statements like "I'm sad" or "I feel angry." Third, allow emotions to be fully felt rather than trying to talk yourself or your partner out of them. Fourth, incorporate plenty of non-sexual touch in your relationship. Fifth, after periods of intense intimacy, find positive ways to ground yourself rather than creating arguments or drama. Finally, create what I call a "No-Upper-Limits conspiracy" with at least three friends who will help you recognize when you're engaging in self-sabotaging behaviors. These allies will remind you that you create your life experience through your beliefs, and help you expand your capacity for love, abundance, and success. Relationship is the ultimate spiritual path because it constantly challenges us to love and embrace in situations where we're most inclined to reject and withdraw. As the 14th-century mystic Hafiz wrote: "You're invited to meet the Divine. Nobody can resist an invitation like that! Now, your choices narrow to two: You can come to the Divine ready to dance, or be carried on a stretcher to the Divine Emergency Room." By approaching relationships with an open mind and willing heart, you transform them into a source of joy and fulfillment rather than conflict and limitation.

Summary

The Upper Limit Problem is the one issue that, when solved, unlocks your full potential across all dimensions of life. Each of us has an internal thermostat setting that determines how much success, wealth, love, and happiness we allow ourselves to experience. When we exceed this unconscious threshold, we sabotage ourselves, retreating to our familiar comfort zone. This self-limiting pattern develops from four main barriers: feeling fundamentally flawed, fearing disloyalty to our roots, believing we're a burden, or avoiding outshining others. These barriers, formed in childhood, act as glass ceilings that constrain our capacity for joy and achievement. The journey to unlimited success begins with awareness. By recognizing your specific Upper Limit behaviors - whether worrying, criticizing, getting sick, or starting conflicts - you can catch yourself in the act of self-sabotage. As Bonnie Raitt demonstrated when she transformed from a respected blues musician to a Grammy-winning superstar, the Big Leap into your Zone of Genius requires courage but delivers extraordinary rewards. In the words of Hafiz, "You can come to the Divine ready to dance, or be carried on a stretcher to the Divine Emergency Room." Today, make a conscious choice to dance with your potential. Ask yourself: "What would happen if I increased my tolerance for feeling good by 10% today?" Then take one small action that expands your capacity for success and joy. The universe will meet your courage with opportunities that exceed your greatest expectations.

About Author

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Gay Hendricks

Dr. Gay Hendricks has served for more than 30 years as one of the major contributors to the fields of relationship transformation and body-mind therapies. Along with his wife, Dr. Kathlyn Hendricks, Gay is the author of many bestsellers, including Conscious Loving, At the Speed of Life, and Five Wishes.Gay received his PhD in counseling psychology from Stanford University in 1974. After a 21-year career as a professor at the University of Colorado, he founded The Hendricks Institute, which offers seminars in North America, Asia, and Europe. He is also the founder of a new virtual learning center for transformation, Gaia Illumination University.Throughout his career, Gay has done executive coaching with more than 800 executives, including the top management at such firms as Dell Computer, Hewlett Packard, Motorola, and KLM. His book, The Corporate Mystic, is used widely to train management in combining business skills and personal development tools.In recent years he has also been active in creating new forms of conscious entertainment. In 2003, along with movie producer Stephen Simon, Gay founded the Spiritual Cinema Circle, which distributes inspirational movies to subscribers in more than 70 countries around the world. He was the executive producer of the feature film Conversations with God, and he has appeared on more than 500 radio and television shows, including Oprah, CNN, CNBC, 48 Hours, and others

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