The Unwinding of the Miracle

The Unwinding of the Miracle Plot Summary

Introduction

Julie Yip-Williams' life began with an extraordinary act of survival. Born completely blind in post-war Vietnam, her grandmother deemed her life not worth living and ordered her parents to take the infant to an herbalist for a lethal potion. In a moment that would alter the course of history, the herbalist refused, declaring he would not participate in "this sort of dirty business." This first brush with death marked the beginning of a life defined by defying impossible odds. From escaping Vietnam as a refugee to gaining partial sight through surgery in America, from graduating Harvard Law School to traveling all seven continents despite legal blindness, Julie's journey embodied resilience in its purest form. What makes Julie's story particularly compelling is how her early confrontation with mortality prepared her for its ultimate return. When diagnosed with terminal colon cancer at age 37, Julie approached death with the same clear-eyed determination that had characterized her entire life. Rather than retreating into denial or false optimism, she embraced radical honesty, documenting her journey through illness while creating a legacy of wisdom for her young daughters. Through Julie's extraordinary life, we witness the transformative power of accepting our limitations while refusing to be defined by them, the profound beauty that emerges when we face mortality with courage, and the unexpected gifts that suffering can bring when approached with an open heart.

Chapter 1: Defying Death: The Blind Girl Who Refused to Die

Julie Yip-Williams entered the world in Vietnam in 1976, during the aftermath of the Vietnam War. Her birth, which should have been celebrated, was instead met with despair when her family discovered she was completely blind due to congenital cataracts. In the traditional Chinese worldview of her grandmother, this disability rendered Julie broken, unmarriageable, and ultimately, a burden not worth bearing. With this harsh calculation, her grandmother ordered Julie's parents to take her to an herbalist who would provide a lethal concoction to "put her to sleep forever." On that fateful day, Julie's mother dressed her in old, stained clothes, as her grandmother declared it would be "a waste for her to wear anything else." When they arrived at the herbalist's shop in Da Nang, however, something remarkable happened. The herbalist refused to participate in this plan, telling the parents he could not engage in "this sort of dirty business." This singular act of moral courage saved Julie's life and set in motion an extraordinary journey. Later, Julie's great-grandmother would add her own protection, declaring, "How she was born is how she will be," effectively ending further attempts to end her life. When Julie was three years old, her family joined the wave of "boat people" fleeing Communist Vietnam. She would later recall sitting on her grandmother's lap during this perilous journey across the South China Sea, feeling the rocking of the boat and hearing the desperate prayers of three hundred refugees. After spending time in a Hong Kong refugee camp, the family eventually reached America, where Julie received partial sight-restoring surgery at UCLA. Though she would remain legally blind for life, requiring thick glasses and magnifying devices, this improvement opened possibilities that would have been unimaginable in Vietnam. The circumstances of Julie's birth and early childhood instilled in her a profound understanding of life's fragility. She often reflected on the alternative paths her life might have taken – complete blindness in Vietnam, or no life at all if her grandmother's wishes had been fulfilled. This awareness fostered in Julie a remarkable resilience and determination to make the most of the life she had been given against all odds. As she would later write to her daughters, "Walk through the fire and you will emerge on the other end, whole and stronger. I promise." Throughout her life, Julie refused to be limited by others' expectations or by her own disability. She developed a fierce independence, determined to prove that her life was worth living. This determination would manifest in extraordinary achievements – graduating from Williams College and Harvard Law School, building a successful legal career, traveling solo across all seven continents, and creating a loving family. Her early brush with death seemed to instill in her a hunger to experience everything life had to offer, a quality that would later help her face her terminal cancer diagnosis with remarkable clarity and grace.

Chapter 2: Forging Identity Through Adversity and Education

Growing up as a legally blind Vietnamese immigrant in California presented Julie with unique challenges that shaped her identity. With vision measuring 20/200 in her right eye and 20/300 in her left eye even with corrective lenses, Julie navigated a world that wasn't designed for someone with her limitations. She stood out painfully among her peers with her thick "Coke-bottle" glasses and large-print books. These visible markers of difference often made her feel like "a freak" and fueled a complex relationship with her disability that would evolve throughout her life. Julie's relationship with her visual impairment was characterized by periods of intense anger and questioning. She would lie awake at night demanding answers from whatever gods might be listening, asking why she had been born with cataracts and why she couldn't drive, play sports, or participate in activities that came easily to others. This questioning eventually led her to embrace a belief in universal balance – that for everything bad in life, there must be a corresponding good. She made what she called a "deal with God," asking that in exchange for her visual disability, she would find the greatest love possible in this world. Education became Julie's pathway to independence and self-definition. She excelled academically, eventually attending Williams College in Massachusetts – as far from Los Angeles as she could imagine. During her college years, Julie studied Chinese and spent her junior year abroad in China, challenging herself in ways that directly confronted her visual limitations. She discovered that traveling alone was her "bliss," a way to prove to herself that she could navigate the world independently despite her disability. These solo journeys across all seven continents became transformative experiences that helped heal what she called her "anguished soul." Julie's determination to forge her own path led her to Harvard Law School and eventually to a prestigious career at the international law firm Cleary Gottlieb in New York. Her professional achievements were remarkable by any standard, but particularly so given the obstacles she had overcome. She approached her career with the same tenacity that characterized her approach to every aspect of life, refusing to let her visual impairment prevent her from excelling in a demanding profession. Beyond her professional identity, Julie found profound fulfillment in her personal life. She met and married Josh Williams, a tall, brilliant southerner whose background could hardly have been more different from her own. Their unlikely union – a legally blind Chinese American woman born in Vietnam and a man from the mountains of South Carolina – represented for Julie the fulfillment of her "deal with God." Together they built a life in New York City and had two daughters, Mia and Belle, completing what Julie saw as her journey from unwanted blind girl to beloved wife and mother. Throughout her life, Julie refused to be defined by others' perceptions or limitations. She transformed what many would consider disadvantages into sources of strength, developing a unique perspective that allowed her to see beyond the surface of life. As she would later write, "I was deprived of sight. And yet, that single unfortunate physical condition changed me for the better. Instead of leaving me wallowing in self-pity, it made me more ambitious. It made me more resourceful. It made me smarter."

Chapter 3: Building a Life Against All Odds

After graduating from Harvard Law School, Julie joined Cleary Gottlieb, a prestigious international law firm in New York City. This achievement was remarkable for anyone, but particularly significant for someone who had overcome the dual challenges of being legally blind and an immigrant. At the firm, Julie established herself as a capable attorney, working on complex corporate transactions for major clients. Though she never aimed for partnership, she carved out a niche that allowed her to balance her professional ambitions with her growing personal priorities. Julie's professional identity, while important, was ultimately secondary to the family life she built with her husband Josh. Their relationship defied all statistical probability – as Julie would later reflect, the odds of a legally blind Chinese American woman born in Vietnam marrying a man from the mountains of South Carolina were essentially zero at the time of their births. Yet through a series of choices and circumstances, their paths converged at Cleary Gottlieb, where Josh also worked as a tax attorney. Their marriage represented for Julie the fulfillment of the "deal" she had made with God in her youth – that in exchange for her visual disability, she would find extraordinary love. Family life took on new dimensions with the births of their daughters, Mia and Belle. Julie approached motherhood with the same intensity and thoughtfulness that characterized her approach to everything else. She delighted in her daughters' distinct personalities – Mia, the intellectual beauty who would "turn heads with her captivating face," and Belle, the "ageless soul" with uncanny intuition who seemed to understand people and life beyond her years. Julie's writings reveal her deep love for her children and her hopes for the women they would become. The Williams family built a life in Brooklyn, creating a home that reflected their values and aspirations. Julie took pride in cooking elaborate meals, a skill she had honed over years. She and Josh planned for their daughters' futures, discussing schools, activities, and the experiences they wanted to provide. They even dreamed of expanding their apartment by purchasing the unit next door, a project that would later take on profound significance as Julie's health declined. Despite the challenges of her visual impairment, Julie created a rich family life filled with travel, cultural experiences, and deep connections. She was determined that her daughters would grow up with an appreciation for the world's diversity and beauty. Family trips were carefully planned to expose the girls to new places and experiences, reflecting Julie's belief in the importance of stepping outside one's comfort zone to truly grow and learn. Julie's approach to balancing professional and family life evolved over time, especially as her health challenges emerged. While she had once been driven by career ambitions, she increasingly found her greatest fulfillment in the relationships she built with her husband and daughters. The home she created became a sanctuary where love and connection flourished, even as external circumstances grew more challenging. As she would later write to her daughters, "I have known love and compassion that I never knew possible."

Chapter 4: The Cancer Diagnosis: A New Battle Begins

In July 2013, what was meant to be a joyful family wedding trip to Los Angeles turned into a life-altering nightmare. After weeks of digestive discomfort that had been dismissed as irritable bowel syndrome, Julie found herself in the emergency room with severe vomiting and pain. A colonoscopy revealed a mass in her colon that was almost completely obstructing it. At just 37 years old, with two young daughters, Julie was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer. The diagnosis came as a profound shock. Julie had been in excellent physical shape, working out five times a week. There was no family history of colon cancer, and at her age, the statistical likelihood of developing the disease was minuscule – less than 0.08 percent. Yet as Julie would later reflect, "So numbers mean nothing. They neither provide assurance nor serve as a source of aggravation... I choose not to live and die by what the oddsmakers say." Julie's initial treatment involved surgery to remove the tumor, followed by aggressive chemotherapy. The surgery revealed that the cancer had already spread beyond her colon – a small "drop metastasis" was found on her peritoneum, classifying her cancer as Stage IV. This discovery meant that her survival odds were dramatically reduced, with statistics suggesting a single-digit likelihood of living five years. Her husband Josh, who found comfort in numbers and statistics, was devastated by these odds, while Julie maintained that she had been defying probability her entire life. The physical toll of cancer treatment was immense. Julie endured multiple rounds of chemotherapy, dealing with side effects including neuropathy, nausea, fatigue, and a weakened immune system. She described her approach to treatment as warfare: "I started yelling at the cancer cells. 'How dare you betray my body! How dare you threaten to take me away from my husband, babies, and all who love and need me! I will seek you out and I will destroy you!'" Beyond the physical battle, Julie grappled with the emotional and existential dimensions of her diagnosis. She struggled with questions about why this was happening to her, especially after all she had already overcome in life. She worried deeply about her young daughters growing up without a mother and her husband facing life without his partner. These fears sometimes manifested as anger – at the cancer, at the unfairness of life, and occasionally at those around her who couldn't possibly understand what she was experiencing. Despite these challenges, Julie approached her cancer with the same determination and clarity that had characterized her response to adversity throughout her life. She researched treatments extensively, sought multiple medical opinions, and made informed decisions about her care. She balanced conventional medicine with thoughtful exploration of complementary approaches, always applying her analytical mind to evaluate the evidence. As she navigated the early stages of her cancer journey, Julie began to develop a philosophy about living with terminal illness that would eventually touch countless others through her writing.

Chapter 5: Embracing Mortality with Radical Honesty

When Julie's cancer metastasized to her lungs in December 2014, the reality of her terminal diagnosis became undeniable. Her prognosis shifted from potentially curable to "several years" at best. This devastating news plunged Julie into what she described as "a darkness that was a thousand times worse than anything I had experienced before." For weeks, she struggled with rage, despair, and the temptation to give up. Yet from this profound darkness, Julie emerged with a deeper understanding of how to find meaning in the face of death. Julie's approach to terminal illness was characterized by brutal honesty – with herself and others. She rejected what she called the "overly sweet, pink-ribbon façade of positivity and fanciful hope and rah-rah-rah nonsense" that often surrounds cancer narratives. Instead, she embraced the full spectrum of emotions that came with her diagnosis, allowing herself to feel anger, fear, jealousy, and grief without shame. This radical honesty became the foundation of her writing, which resonated deeply with others facing similar challenges. Through her struggle with terminal illness, Julie developed a philosophy centered on the paradoxical relationship between accepting death and embracing life. As she wrote, "In what is the greatest irony of all, I have come to realize that in accepting death, I am embracing life in all its splendor, for the first time." Rather than allowing the uncertainty of her future to paralyze her, Julie chose to live with greater intentionality, focusing on what truly mattered – her relationships, experiences, and the legacy she would leave behind. Julie found particular meaning in continuing to dream and plan for the future, even knowing she might not live to see those plans realized. When the opportunity arose to purchase the apartment next door and create a larger home for her family, she initially hesitated, wondering if such a long-term project made sense given her prognosis. Ultimately, she decided to move forward, seeing the renovation as "a powerful symbolic affirmation of life and living and optimism for a future that is bigger than me." This project became a tangible expression of her commitment to her family's future, whether or not she would be part of it. Writing emerged as another source of meaning for Julie. Through her blog and eventually her memoir, she created a legacy that would outlive her physical presence. Her writing served multiple purposes – it helped her process her own experience, connected her to others facing similar challenges, and created a record for her daughters to understand their mother's thoughts and feelings after she was gone. Julie approached this task with characteristic thoroughness and honesty, determined to capture both the darkness and the light of her experience. Perhaps most significantly, Julie found meaning in reframing her terminal illness as an opportunity for spiritual and philosophical growth. She came to see her cancer journey as the culmination of a lifetime of overcoming obstacles, writing: "The lessons that blindness and then cancer have taught me are too many for me to recount here, but I hope... you will understand how it is possible to be changed in a positive way by tragedy and you will learn the true value of suffering." For Julie, meaning came not from denying the reality of death, but from embracing it as part of the full human experience.

Chapter 6: Creating Legacy: Wisdom for Her Daughters

As Julie's cancer progressed, her focus increasingly turned to creating a meaningful legacy for her daughters, Mia and Belle. She was acutely aware that they would grow up with limited memories of their mother – Belle was just three and Mia five when Julie was diagnosed. This reality drove Julie to document her thoughts, values, and life experiences in ways her daughters could access as they matured. She wrote, "I am making my lists, leaving my instructions, putting in place my final estate-planning documents. I am making my final memories, saying my goodbyes, telling everyone I love them, writing my last words." Julie crafted letters for her daughters to read at different stages of their lives – when they graduated from high school, when they married, when they became mothers themselves. These letters contained the wisdom she had gained through her extraordinary journey, from overcoming blindness to facing terminal illness. She told them, "Be stronger people because of it, for you will know that you carry my strength within you. Be more compassionate people because of it; empathize with those who suffer in their own ways. Rejoice in life and all its beauty because of it; live with special zest and zeal for me." Beyond written words, Julie created tangible legacies for her family. The apartment renovation project became a physical manifestation of her love and care. She designed spaces with her daughters' future in mind – adjustable shelving in their closets that could be raised as they grew taller, a layout that would accommodate their changing needs through adolescence. She saw the home as "a gift to my children, a tangible legacy of a home that I hope they will treasure for many years." Every detail, from the kitchen where she had loved to cook to the living spaces where they had shared family time, was infused with her presence and intentions. Julie also made practical preparations for her family's life without her. She recorded videos explaining household systems, documented financial information, and arranged for support structures to help Josh with parenting. She found a child psychologist for her daughters and sought a college student who would attend their music lessons and oversee their practice. She even changed her mind about cremation, purchasing a burial plot at Green-Wood Cemetery in Brooklyn because she wanted her husband and daughters to have a place to visit her. Perhaps most importantly, Julie worked to prepare her daughters emotionally for her absence. Rather than shielding them from the reality of her illness, she and Josh chose age-appropriate honesty. She called this the "gift of grief" – allowing them to process her eventual death while she was still present to help them through it. She believed this approach would give them tools to handle loss throughout their lives. Julie's daughter Belle, whom she described as having "an ageless soul," seemed to intuitively understand what was happening, once telling her mother after a particularly difficult day, "Mommy, you're not gone yet." Through these preparations, Julie transformed her impending death from a solely tragic event into an opportunity to demonstrate her enduring love. As she wrote, "I have spent these years unwinding the miracle that has been my life, but on my terms." Her legacy for her daughters extended beyond material preparations to include the example she set in facing life's greatest challenges with honesty, courage, and grace – qualities she hoped would sustain them long after she was gone.

Chapter 7: The Final Gift: Finding Meaning in Suffering

In the final chapter of her extraordinary journey, Julie developed a profound philosophy about suffering that transformed her terminal illness from a meaningless tragedy into a source of wisdom and growth. Having faced adversity throughout her life – from being born blind in Vietnam to navigating life as an immigrant with a disability – Julie had developed a unique perspective on hardship. She came to believe that suffering, when approached with openness and courage, could be the greatest teacher of all. Julie rejected the common cultural narrative that frames suffering as something to be avoided at all costs. Instead, she wrote, "I want you to feel the pain, to live it, embrace it, and then learn from it." This approach stood in stark contrast to what she observed in much of American culture, where discomfort is often medicated away and difficult emotions are suppressed. Julie believed that by fully experiencing her grief, anger, and fear, she could move through these emotions rather than being trapped by them. This philosophy allowed her to find moments of profound joy even as her body failed her. The paradoxical relationship between accepting death and embracing life became central to Julie's understanding of her final journey. As she wrote, "In what is the greatest irony of all, I have come to realize that in accepting death, I am embracing life in all its splendor, for the first time." Rather than allowing her terminal diagnosis to diminish her engagement with life, Julie found that acknowledging her mortality heightened her appreciation for everyday experiences. She described this as "sucking the marrow out of life" – savoring meals with her family, feeling the sun on her face, appreciating the beauty of nature with an intensity that might not have been possible without the awareness of limited time. Julie's approach to mortality was deeply influenced by her unique life experiences. Having narrowly escaped death as an infant and overcome significant obstacles throughout her life, she had developed a perspective on death that few others shared. She viewed death not as an ending but as "a doorway beckoning me to a new adventure, yet another on my long list of adventures, a new territory to explore." This spiritual understanding provided her comfort as she contemplated her limited future. In her final months, Julie continued to find meaning through connection with others. Her writing reached thousands of readers who found in her words a guide for navigating their own suffering. She received letters from people around the world who told her that her honesty had helped them face their own mortality or that of loved ones. This unexpected community became another source of meaning, allowing Julie to transform her personal tragedy into a gift for others. Julie died at home on March 19, 2018, at the age of 42. In her last days, she was surrounded by the family she had created against all odds – her husband Josh, daughters Mia and Belle, and extended family members. Her final gift was the example she set in how to face death with dignity, clarity, and even grace. As she had written, "I have learned that in accepting death, I am embracing life in all of its splendor, for the first time." This paradoxical wisdom stands as perhaps her greatest legacy – the understanding that by fully acknowledging our mortality, we can more deeply appreciate the miracle of being alive.

Summary

Julie Yip-Williams's life embodied an extraordinary paradox: born blind in Vietnam and nearly killed as an infant due to her disability, she went on to graduate from Harvard Law School, travel to all seven continents, build a successful legal career, create a loving family, and ultimately face terminal cancer with remarkable clarity and grace. Her journey from a child deemed unworthy of life to a woman who embraced life fully even as she prepared for death offers profound lessons about resilience, honesty, and the human capacity to find meaning in suffering. Julie's unwavering commitment to truth—refusing to hide from reality even when that reality included her own mortality—stands as her most powerful legacy. The wisdom Julie gleaned through her experiences transcends her specific circumstances, speaking to universal human questions about how to live meaningfully in the face of limitations and loss. She demonstrated that acceptance of hard truths, rather than denial or false hope, creates the foundation for genuine peace and even joy. As she wrote near the end of her life, "I have spent these years unwinding the miracle that has been my life, but on my terms." Her story reminds us that while we cannot control many of life's circumstances, we retain the power to choose how we respond to them—with bitterness or gratitude, with fear or courage, with denial or acceptance. For anyone facing adversity or grappling with mortality (which is ultimately all of us), Julie's journey offers not just inspiration but a practical template for approaching life's greatest challenges with honesty, dignity and love.

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Julie Yip-Williams

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