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Why Does He Do That?

Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

4.5 (16,455 ratings)
23 minutes read | Text | 9 key ideas
Ever wondered what's really going on behind the eyes of someone who claims love but leaves you feeling trapped? Lundy Bancroft, a seasoned counselor of abusive men, opens a window into the complex minds of those who manipulate and control. "Why Does He Do That?" is not just a book—it's a lifeline for women seeking clarity and empowerment in the face of emotional turmoil. From the subtle cues that signal danger to the myths that keep you ensnared, Bancroft provides a roadmap to reclaiming your autonomy. The book's raw insights strip away illusions, challenging you to confront the harsh realities of abusive dynamics and equipping you with strategies to safely navigate your way to freedom. Whether you're at the crossroads of confusion or ready to take decisive action, this bestseller offers the knowledge to break free and rebuild a life of dignity and strength.

Categories

Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Relationships, Mental Health, Audiobook, Feminism, Sociology, Counselling, Abuse

Content Type

Book

Binding

Paperback

Year

2003

Publisher

Berkley Books

Language

English

ASIN

0425191656

ISBN

0425191656

ISBN13

9780425191651

File Download

PDF | EPUB

Why Does He Do That? Plot Summary

Introduction

Intimate partner abuse represents one of society's most pervasive yet misunderstood problems. Despite decades of research and advocacy, fundamental misconceptions persist about why abusers abuse and how they maintain control over their victims. This exploration delves into the psychology of abusive men, challenging the common myths that abuse stems from anger management issues, substance abuse, or childhood trauma. Instead, it reveals how abusive behavior is rooted in attitudes of entitlement and superiority that manifest through calculated tactics of control. The significance of this analysis lies in its shift away from victim-blaming questions like "Why does she stay?" toward the more essential inquiry: "Why does he abuse?" By examining the belief systems and manipulation strategies that drive abusive behavior, we gain crucial insights that can help identify warning signs earlier, develop more effective interventions, and create safer pathways to recovery. Understanding the psychology of control not only illuminates the experiences of those trapped in abusive relationships but also exposes the cultural and institutional factors that enable abuse to continue across generations.

Chapter 1: The Abusive Mentality: Entitlement and Superiority

At the core of abusive behavior lies a mentality characterized by profound entitlement and a sense of inherent superiority. Abusive men operate from a belief system where they consider themselves to have special rights and privileges within relationships that don't apply to their partners. This entitlement manifests in expectations that their needs should always come first, that their opinions should carry more weight, and that they deserve caretaking, deference, and freedom from accountability. Unlike the popular misconception that abusers simply "lose control," their behavior demonstrates a calculated exercise of control, strategically applied to establish and maintain dominance. This mentality includes a fundamental disrespect toward women that may exist alongside claims of loving or respecting them. Abusers typically view their partners as less intelligent, less competent, and less worthy of consideration than themselves. This objectification allows them to treat their partners cruelly without experiencing normal human empathy. Their worldview becomes so distorted that they genuinely believe their mistreatment is justified or even beneficial to their partners. This explains the common phenomenon where abusers seem genuinely perplexed by their partners' distress, as they cannot comprehend why their "reasonable" behavior is experienced as harmful. The abusive mentality creates a profound contradiction between public and private personas. Most abusers maintain positive public images, functioning well professionally and displaying charm and warmth in social settings. This Jekyll-and-Hyde phenomenon serves multiple purposes: it ensures external support and credibility, isolates the victim by making her accounts seem implausible, and allows the abuser to maintain a positive self-image despite his harmful behavior. The stark contrast between how an abuser treats his partner versus how he treats others demonstrates that his abuse is a choice, not an uncontrollable impulse. Control tactics evolve from this entitled mentality and manifest through various behaviors designed to establish dominance. These include monitoring activities, restricting access to resources, isolating from support networks, making unilateral decisions, and punishing perceived transgressions. The abuser doesn't view these behaviors as controlling but rather as his rightful exercise of authority within the relationship. When his partner resists control, he perceives her resistance as the actual problem rather than recognizing his behavior as inappropriate. This distorted perception creates a self-reinforcing cycle where increased resistance leads to escalated control tactics. Perhaps most insidiously, abusers often confuse love with control, believing their controlling behavior demonstrates the depth of their feelings. They interpret jealousy as devotion, possessiveness as protection, and dominance as masculine care. This confusion allows them to maintain the narrative that they are loving partners despite behavior that systematically undermines their partner's autonomy and wellbeing. Understanding this distorted definition of love helps explain why many abusers genuinely believe they are acting out of love rather than a desire for power and control. The entitled mentality that drives abuse is not a psychological disorder but a set of values and beliefs about relationships, gender, and personal rights. These beliefs are reinforced through cultural messages, peer influences, and systems that fail to hold abusers accountable. Recognizing this mentality as the root cause of abuse shifts our understanding away from simplistic explanations like anger management problems or substance abuse toward addressing the fundamental attitudes that make abusive behavior possible.

Chapter 2: Patterns of Control: How Abuse Manifests in Relationships

Abuse rarely begins with obvious violence or control. Most abusive relationships start with an intense courtship period characterized by excessive attention, declarations of immediate love, and rapid commitment—what survivors often describe as "too good to be true." This initial phase creates a powerful emotional bond and establishes a baseline of positive experiences that the victim will later long to recapture. As the relationship progresses, controlling behaviors emerge gradually, often disguised as care, protection, or expressions of love. The abuser might frame his monitoring of her whereabouts as concern for her safety, his criticism of her appearance as helpful advice, or his jealousy as a sign of devotion. The progression from courtship to control typically follows predictable patterns. Isolation begins subtly, with the abuser expressing dislike for certain friends or family members, creating conflict around visits, or making social gatherings so uncomfortable that the victim begins declining invitations. Financial control may start with offers to handle money matters, gradually evolving into restricted access to funds and scrutiny of every purchase. Emotional abuse escalates from occasional criticism to persistent degradation, with the abuser systematically undermining his partner's self-confidence while positioning himself as the authority on her character and capabilities. A defining characteristic of abusive relationships is the cycle of tension, explosion, and reconciliation. During the tension-building phase, the abuser becomes increasingly irritable, critical, and threatening. The explosion phase involves verbal attacks, intimidation, or physical violence, often triggered by minor incidents that the abuser uses as justification. The reconciliation phase—sometimes called the "honeymoon period"—includes apologies, promises to change, and temporarily improved behavior. This cyclical pattern creates traumatic bonding, where intense negative experiences are interspersed with relief and affection, strengthening the emotional attachment despite the harm. The abuser maintains control through unpredictability and intermittent reinforcement. By alternating between kindness and cruelty without discernible patterns, he creates a state of constant anxiety where his partner never knows what to expect. This unpredictability serves strategic purposes: it keeps her focused on monitoring his moods rather than her own needs, prevents her from developing effective coping strategies, and creates a sense that she must constantly work to earn his approval. The intermittent positive reinforcement—occasional affection, approval, or kindness—becomes disproportionately powerful in maintaining her hope and investment in the relationship. Technology has expanded the arsenal of control tactics available to abusers. Digital surveillance through tracking apps, monitoring social media, demanding passwords, and checking phone records extends the abuser's reach beyond physical presence. Economic abuse has evolved to include identity theft, damaging credit scores, and sabotaging employment opportunities. Reproductive coercion—including tampering with birth control, forcing pregnancy, or controlling pregnancy outcomes—represents another domain of control. These evolving tactics demonstrate how abuse adapts to changing circumstances while maintaining its fundamental purpose of establishing dominance. The cumulative impact of these control patterns extends far beyond individual incidents. Living under constant surveillance and criticism creates a state of hypervigilance where victims become preoccupied with avoiding triggers and managing the abuser's emotions. The persistent undermining of perception and judgment leads to a profound loss of confidence in one's own reality—a phenomenon often called "gaslighting." Over time, the victim's sense of self becomes increasingly defined by the abuser's perspective, making it progressively more difficult to envision life outside the relationship or to trust her own capacity for independence.

Chapter 3: Myths vs. Reality: What Actually Causes Abusive Behavior

One of the most persistent myths about abuse is that it stems primarily from anger management problems. This misconception suggests that abusers simply "lose control" during conflicts and need techniques to manage their temper. Reality contradicts this explanation: most abusers demonstrate remarkable control over when, where, and how they abuse. They rarely become abusive in public settings or toward people who might hold them accountable. They carefully select private moments for their worst behavior and typically stop short of actions that even they would consider too extreme. This selective application of abuse demonstrates that control, not lack of control, drives their behavior. Another common myth attributes abuse to substance abuse, suggesting that alcohol or drugs transform otherwise non-abusive men into abusers. While substance use often accompanies abuse, research consistently shows it functions as a disinhibitor and excuse rather than a cause. Many abusers strategically use substances before initiating conflicts to provide themselves with a built-in justification. Importantly, when abusers become sober without addressing their entitled attitudes, their abusive behavior typically continues or even intensifies as they lose their primary excuse. This pattern confirms that substances may affect how abuse manifests but don't create the underlying drive to control. The intergenerational transmission theory—the idea that men abuse because they witnessed or experienced abuse in childhood—represents another oversimplified explanation. While exposure to family violence increases risk, the majority of children who witness abuse do not become abusers, and many abusers come from homes without obvious violence. What children more consistently learn from abusive role models are attitudes about entitlement, gender, and the acceptability of using power to control others. These learned values, rather than simple imitation, create the foundation for later abusive behavior. This distinction explains why some men from abusive homes become strong advocates against violence while others perpetuate it. Mental illness is frequently misidentified as a primary cause of abuse, particularly in public discussions following high-profile cases. Research consistently demonstrates that most abusers do not have diagnosable mental health conditions, and most people with mental illness are not abusive. Certain conditions may influence how abuse manifests or increase lethality risk, but they don't create the fundamental attitudes of entitlement and superiority that drive abusive behavior. Attributing abuse to mental illness not only stigmatizes mental health conditions but also mistakenly frames abuse as a health problem rather than a choice rooted in values and beliefs. Perhaps the most harmful myth suggests that victims somehow provoke or contribute to their abuse through their behavior or personality traits. This victim-blaming perspective ignores the reality that abusers typically have histories of mistreating multiple partners with different personalities and behaviors. Abusers actively search for justifications for their behavior, transforming even minor disagreements or normal expressions of autonomy into perceived provocations. The consistent factor across abusive relationships is not the victim's behavior but the abuser's entitled belief that he has the right to punish perceived transgressions against his authority. Understanding the actual causes of abuse requires examining cultural factors that normalize male dominance and entitlement. Societies that promote rigid gender roles, objectify women, romanticize jealousy and control as expressions of love, and minimize the seriousness of domestic violence create environments where abuse flourishes. Peer influences play a crucial role, as men who associate with others who disrespect women and endorse controlling behavior are more likely to become abusive. These cultural and social influences explain why abuse occurs across socioeconomic levels, educational backgrounds, and family histories—and why addressing abuse requires challenging these broader cultural messages rather than focusing solely on individual pathology.

Chapter 4: Warning Signs: Identifying Potential Abusers Early

Early identification of potential abusers can prevent years of trauma, yet many warning signs go unrecognized because they contradict popular misconceptions about how abuse begins. Contrary to the stereotype of immediate aggression, potential abusers often initially present as exceptionally attentive, romantic, and devoted. They may pursue intensely, profess love unusually early, and press for rapid commitment. This intensity, often mistaken for passionate love, actually reflects an urgency to establish the relationship before the partner can fully evaluate their character. The accelerated timeline limits opportunities for critical assessment and creates powerful emotional bonds that make later extrication more difficult. Controlling behaviors typically emerge gradually and are often disguised as care or concern. A potential abuser may frame his monitoring of his partner's whereabouts as worry for her safety, his criticism of her clothing as helpful fashion advice, or his questioning of her friendships as protection from negative influences. He may make seemingly reasonable requests that incrementally restrict her autonomy—asking her to text when she arrives somewhere, suggesting she spend less time with certain friends, or expressing disappointment when she makes independent plans. These behaviors establish a pattern where her freedom becomes contingent on his approval, laying groundwork for more overt control. Disrespect represents another crucial warning sign that manifests in various ways. A potential abuser may speak contemptuously about former partners, blaming them entirely for relationship failures while accepting no responsibility. He may make disparaging comments about women generally, even while claiming to respect them. In conversations, he might regularly interrupt, dismiss his partner's opinions, or react with disproportionate irritation when she disagrees with him. These behaviors reveal his fundamental belief that women's perspectives hold less value than his own—a cornerstone of the abusive mentality. Early interactions with a potential abuser often reveal his response to boundaries and perceived slights. He may react to minor frustrations with surprising anger, punish perceived transgressions with withdrawal or criticism, or become defensive when asked reasonable questions about his behavior. When his partner expresses discomfort with something he's done, he typically responds by questioning her perceptions, suggesting she's oversensitive, or turning the situation around to portray himself as the victim. These reactions demonstrate his resistance to accountability and his expectation that his partner should accommodate his needs rather than vice versa. The double standards that characterize abusive relationships often appear early but may be subtle. A potential abuser expects transparency from his partner while maintaining privacy for himself, demands punctuality while arriving late without apology, or criticizes behaviors in her that he regularly exhibits himself. He may become irritated when she spends time with friends while expecting support for his own social activities. These asymmetrical expectations reflect his underlying belief that the relationship should revolve around his needs and preferences—that his time, feelings, and priorities inherently matter more than hers. Perhaps most telling is how a potential abuser handles power differentials and vulnerability. He may seem particularly attracted to partners who are significantly younger, financially dependent, recently traumatized, or otherwise vulnerable. He often presents himself as a protector or savior while creating situations that increase dependency. In professional or social contexts, he may treat those with less power disrespectfully while charming those with authority. These patterns reveal his comfort with exploiting power imbalances rather than building relationships based on mutual respect and equality—the fundamental distinction between healthy relationships and those with potential for abuse.

Chapter 5: The Resistance to Change: Why Abusers Rarely Transform

The resistance to change among abusers stems primarily from the substantial benefits they derive from their controlling behavior. Unlike problems that cause personal suffering, such as addiction or anxiety, abuse provides advantages: getting one's way in decisions, receiving priority attention to needs, enjoying freedom from household responsibilities, and experiencing the psychological satisfaction of power. These benefits create a fundamental disincentive to change, as transformation would require surrendering privileges that the abuser has come to view as entitlements rather than as unfair advantages. Denial mechanisms play a crucial role in maintaining abusive patterns. Most abusers do not identify themselves as abusive, instead viewing their behavior as justified responses to provocation. They minimize the severity of their actions, reframe them as normal relationship conflicts, and externalize responsibility by blaming their partners. This elaborate system of denial protects them from confronting the reality of their behavior and its impact. When faced with evidence of their abuse, they typically respond with defensiveness rather than reflection, perceiving challenges to their behavior as attacks on their character. The abuser's distorted perceptions create a self-reinforcing cycle that resists intervention. He interprets his partner's emotional responses to abuse as evidence of her instability rather than natural reactions to mistreatment. When she attempts to establish boundaries, he perceives her actions as controlling and abusive toward him, justifying escalation of his behavior. If she eventually leaves the relationship, he views himself as the victim of abandonment rather than recognizing the consequences of his actions. These perceptual distortions make it difficult for him to recognize the need for change. Traditional therapeutic approaches often inadvertently reinforce abusive patterns rather than challenging them. Couples counseling typically assumes mutual contribution to relationship problems, which can validate the abuser's belief that his partner shares responsibility for his behavior. Individual therapy focused on exploring childhood wounds or managing anger may address peripheral issues while leaving the core attitudes of entitlement and control intact. Without interventions specifically designed to confront abusive thinking, therapy may provide new language and insights that the abuser can weaponize to enhance his manipulation. Social reinforcement significantly contributes to the persistence of abusive behavior. Many abusers surround themselves with friends who share their attitudes toward women and relationships, providing validation for their perspective. Cultural messages that normalize male dominance, objectify women, or romanticize controlling behavior as protective further reinforce their worldview. Even when they encounter disapproval, abusers often find that the consequences for their behavior are minimal compared to the benefits they receive, especially if they maintain a positive public image. Genuine change, while rare, follows a specific pattern that differs markedly from the temporary improvements commonly seen in the cycle of abuse. True transformation requires the abuser to acknowledge his behavior as abusive without minimizing or justifying it, recognize its impact on others, develop empathy for those he has harmed, and commit to the difficult work of examining and changing his core beliefs about entitlement and control. This process typically takes years rather than months and involves considerable discomfort as the abuser confronts unflattering truths about himself. The few abusers who successfully change demonstrate consistent behavioral improvement across situations, acceptance of consequences without resentment, respect for their partner's autonomy including her right to end the relationship, and patience with the slow process of rebuilding trust.

Chapter 6: Beyond Physical Violence: The Spectrum of Abusive Tactics

While physical violence often dominates discussions of abuse, it represents just one tactic within a comprehensive system of control. Emotional abuse forms the foundation of this system, encompassing persistent criticism, humiliation, and degradation that erode the victim's self-worth and confidence. The abuser strategically targets his partner's vulnerabilities, criticizes qualities she once took pride in, and gradually replaces her self-perception with his negative definition. This psychological undermining serves a dual purpose: it increases her emotional dependence on his approval while simultaneously diminishing her sense that she deserves better treatment or could succeed independently. Gaslighting—a particularly destructive form of psychological manipulation—involves systematically undermining a person's perception of reality. The abuser denies events his partner clearly remembers, insists she said things she didn't, or claims she's misinterpreting his "obvious" intentions. He might move objects and deny doing so, alter agreements and claim they were always that way, or insist that shared experiences never occurred. This reality distortion creates profound cognitive dissonance, causing the victim to question her memory, perceptions, and ultimately her sanity. As she becomes increasingly uncertain about her grasp on reality, she grows more dependent on the abuser to define what is true. Economic abuse establishes control through financial means, often creating practical barriers to independence. The abuser may prevent his partner from working, control access to bank accounts, make unilateral financial decisions, create debt in her name, or deliberately damage her credit. Even when the victim maintains employment, the abuser might sabotage her career through tactics like causing workplace disruptions, creating childcare emergencies, or keeping her awake before important meetings. These financial tactics ensure that leaving the relationship carries significant economic consequences, effectively trapping victims who cannot afford housing, legal representation, or basic necessities for themselves and their children. Sexual coercion and reproductive control represent particularly intimate forms of abuse that often remain hidden due to shame and cultural taboos. Sexual abuse includes not only forced sexual activity but also pressure, manipulation, and creating negative consequences for refusal. Reproductive control involves interfering with contraception, forcing pregnancy decisions, or using pregnancy as a means to increase dependence. These violations of bodily autonomy create profound trauma while simultaneously binding the victim more tightly to the abuser through unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections. Digital abuse has emerged as a significant extension of controlling tactics in the technological age. Abusers exploit technology to monitor their partners through GPS tracking, spyware, shared accounts, and demanding access to devices and passwords. They may use social media to publicly humiliate their partners, contact them excessively, or monitor their social connections. After separation, technology enables continued harassment through cyberstalking, impersonation, revenge pornography, and online defamation. These digital tactics extend the abuser's reach beyond physical proximity, creating a sense that escape is impossible because he can always find and monitor his victim. Perhaps most insidious is the abuser's manipulation of systems that should provide protection and support. He may file false reports with child protective services, make unfounded accusations in family court, use joint custody to maintain access and control, or manipulate police by presenting himself as the victim when authorities respond to incidents. Some abusers exploit their partner's immigration status, mental health history, sexual orientation, or other vulnerabilities to discredit them with authorities or threaten institutional consequences. This systems abuse transforms potential sources of help into mechanisms of further control, deepening the victim's isolation and sense that resistance is futile.

Chapter 7: Creating Safety: Strategies for Protection and Recovery

Creating safety after experiencing abuse requires a multifaceted approach that addresses both physical security and emotional healing. The first step involves conducting a realistic assessment of danger, recognizing that an abuser's potential for violence often increases after separation. This assessment should consider factors such as previous physical violence, threats, stalking behaviors, substance abuse, and access to weapons. While professional risk assessments can provide guidance, research consistently shows that a woman's own intuition about her level of danger is often the most accurate predictor of future violence. Trusting this intuition, rather than dismissing fears as paranoia, is essential for effective safety planning. Developing a comprehensive safety plan tailored to individual circumstances provides a crucial roadmap for protection. This plan might include securing important documents, establishing an emergency communication system with trusted allies, identifying safe locations for temporary housing, and arranging financial resources independent of the abuser. For those still in relationships with abusers, safety planning might focus on identifying triggers for escalation and creating strategies for de-escalation or escape during dangerous episodes. The plan should evolve as circumstances change, with regular reassessment of risks and resources. Legal protections, while imperfect, offer important tools for enhancing safety. Restraining orders can establish clear boundaries and consequences, though their effectiveness depends largely on consistent enforcement. Documentation of abuse through police reports, medical records, witness statements, and preserved communications creates an evidence trail that strengthens legal cases and validates the reality of the abuse. Working with advocates who understand the legal system can help navigate these processes more effectively and counter the common tactics abusers use to manipulate legal proceedings. Building a support network represents a critical component of both safety and recovery. Isolation increases vulnerability to continued abuse, while connection with others who validate experiences and offer practical assistance strengthens resilience. This network might include friends, family members, domestic violence advocates, counselors, support groups, and community resources. Effective supporters understand the dynamics of abuse, respect the survivor's autonomy in decision-making, and offer consistent presence without judgment or pressure to take specific actions. Addressing the psychological impact of abuse requires specialized approaches to healing. Trauma-informed therapy can help process experiences, reduce symptoms of post-traumatic stress, and rebuild a sense of safety in the world. Recovery involves recognizing that the abuse was not deserved or caused by personal deficiencies, challenging internalized messages from the abuser, and gradually reclaiming aspects of identity that were suppressed during the relationship. This healing process is rarely linear, often involving periods of significant progress interspersed with temporary setbacks. Perhaps most importantly, recovery includes rebuilding a vision for the future based on personal values and desires rather than the abuser's definitions. This process involves rediscovering preferences, strengths, and aspirations that may have been buried during the relationship. It means establishing healthy boundaries in new relationships and recognizing early warning signs of controlling behavior. While the impact of abuse may never completely disappear, many survivors ultimately experience post-traumatic growth—finding deeper meaning, stronger connections with others, and greater appreciation for their own resilience through the process of healing from trauma.

Summary

The psychology of control that drives abusive behavior stems from a fundamental sense of entitlement rather than from psychological disorders, anger management issues, or relationship problems. This entitlement manifests through systematic tactics designed to establish and maintain dominance: reality distortion, blame-shifting, isolation, and the strategic recruitment of allies who unwittingly reinforce the abuser's narrative. These tactics gradually erode the victim's sense of reality, agency, and self-worth, creating profound psychological harm that extends far beyond the immediate impact of individual abusive incidents. Addressing abuse effectively requires recognizing it as a problem of values and beliefs rather than emotions or communication skills. This recognition must inform our responses at every level—from how we support individual survivors to how we design intervention programs, legal responses, and prevention efforts. Only by directly challenging the entitled thinking that underlies abusive behavior, while simultaneously creating systems that empower survivors and hold abusers genuinely accountable, can we create relationships, communities, and societies free from the devastating impact of abuse.

Best Quote

“YOUR ABUSIVE PARTNER DOESN’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIS ANGER; HE HAS A PROBLEM WITH YOUR ANGER.One of the basic human rights he takes away from you is the right to be angry with him. No matter how badly he treats you, he believes that your voice shouldn’t rise and your blood shouldn’t boil. The privilege of rage is reserved for him alone. When your anger does jump out of you—as will happen to any abused woman from time to time—he is likely to try to jam it back down your throat as quickly as he can. Then he uses your anger against you to prove what an irrational person you are. Abuse can make you feel straitjacketed. You may develop physical or emotional reactions to swallowing your anger, such as depression, nightmares, emotional numbing, or eating and sleeping problems, which your partner may use as an excuse to belittle you further or make you feel crazy.” ― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

Review Summary

Strengths: The review highlights the book's detailed explanation of the underlying reasons for abusive behavior, emphasizing the importance of understanding the abuser's value system. It also praises the book for teaching readers how to recognize red flags in abusive relationships and providing insights into the rarity of change in abusive men. Weaknesses: Not explicitly mentioned. Overall Sentiment: Enthusiastic Key Takeaway: The book is a crucial read for women in abusive relationships, as it offers valuable insights into the mindset of abusers and stresses the importance of leaving rather than expecting change, which is unlikely to occur.

About Author

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Lundy Bancroft Avatar

Lundy Bancroft

Lundy Bancroft is an author, workshop leader, and consultant on domestic abuse and child maltreatment. His best known book is Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men (first published in 2002). With 20 years of experience specializing in interventions for abusive men and their families, he is a former co-director of Emerge, the first counseling program in the United States for men who batter. He has worked with abusers directly as an intervention counselor, and has served as clinical supervisor. He has also served extensively as a custody evaluator, child abuse investigator, and expert witness in domestic violence and child abuse cases.

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Why Does He Do That?

By Lundy Bancroft

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