Mostly Harmless

Mostly Harmless Plot Summary

Introduction

In the cold vacuum of space, the Grebulon ship hovered silently at the edge of our solar system. Inside, an amnesiac crew monitored Earth broadcasts, their missing memories leaving them adrift and purposeless. Meanwhile, Arthur Dent had finally found peace on a remote planet called Lamuella, making sandwiches for grateful villagers after years of cosmic displacement. But the universe is rarely kind to those who seek tranquility. His peace was about to be shattered by the arrival of Trillian with a surprise: a teenage daughter named Random, conceived from Arthur's DNA at a sperm bank. At the same time, Ford Prefect discovered something alarming at the offices of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - the publishers had been taken over by a sinister corporation with mysterious motives. These seemingly disparate events were hurtling toward an explosive convergence, as the fabric of probability itself began to warp and tear. The Guide Mark II - a device of terrifying power disguised as a simple black bird - would soon threaten everything, setting into motion a chain of events that would once again place Arthur Dent at the improbable center of cosmic catastrophe.

Chapter 1: Displaced Lives: Arthur's Exile and Ford's Discovery

The Perfectly Normal Beasts thundered across the plains of Lamuella, appearing from nowhere and vanishing just as mysteriously on the other side of the valley. Arthur Dent, once an ordinary Englishman whose home planet had been demolished to make way for a hyperspace bypass, watched them from the hillside. He had found a strange peace here, making sandwiches for the local villagers who considered him a holy man sent by their god, Bob. Arthur sliced bread with practiced precision in his small hut. The knife moved rhythmically, a comforting routine after years of being hurled across the galaxy against his will. The villagers lined up outside, waiting patiently for his creations. This was his life now - simple, predictable, sandwich-centered. No more running. No more improbability. Just bread and perfectly normal beast meat and quiet days. "Sandwich Maker," called Old Thrashbarg, the village elder, interrupting Arthur's flow. "A visitor approaches from the stars." Before Arthur could respond, a sleek spacecraft landed in the clearing. The villagers gasped and scattered. The hatch opened with a pneumatic hiss, revealing a familiar figure - Trillian, the woman who had once left Earth with Zaphod Beeblebrox just before its destruction. But she wasn't alone. "Arthur," Trillian said coolly. "Meet Random. Your daughter." The sullen teenage girl behind Trillian glared at Arthur with undisguised hostility. Arthur's knife clattered to the floor. "My... what?" he stammered. "Your DNA. My egg. A sperm bank on Earth before it was destroyed," Trillian explained briskly. "She's your responsibility now. I have a war to cover." Before Arthur could process this information, Trillian turned and left, leaving Random standing in his hut, radiating teenage fury. Arthur's peaceful exile was suddenly, catastrophically over. Light years away, Ford Prefect broke into the headquarters of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. The building had changed since he'd last been there - colder, more corporate. InfiniDim Enterprises had taken over, and Ford needed to know why. He slipped through ventilation shafts, neutralized security robots, and made his way to the secret thirteenth floor, which officially didn't exist. In a darkened room, Ford discovered something that made his blood run cold - a small black disc that unfolded into a bird-shaped device. This was the Guide Mark II, a creation of terrible power that could manipulate the very fabric of probability itself. Ford knew immediately he had to get it away from here. The Vogons were involved somehow - he'd seen their footprints all over this corporate takeover. Whatever they were planning, it couldn't be good for the galaxy. Ford snatched the device and fled, alarms blaring behind him. He had to warn Arthur. The universe was about to get very complicated again.

Chapter 2: The Guide Mark II: A Weapon of Temporal Engineering

The sleek black bird hovered before Random's eyes in the dim light of the cave. Hours earlier, she had fled Arthur's hut in anger, stealing a package that had been delivered for someone named Ford Prefect. Now, alone in the darkness, she had opened it to discover this strange device. "I am the Guide," the bird announced in a melodious voice. "In your universe, I am your Guide." Random stared, mesmerized by the shifting, impossible geometry of the creature. It wasn't a real bird - it seemed to exist between dimensions, folding space around itself like origami. "What are you for?" she demanded, suspicious after a lifetime of abandonment had taught her to trust nothing. "Anything is possible," the bird replied cryptically. "I perceive everything. I exist in all possible universes simultaneously. I can help you find what you seek." "I want to go to Earth," Random said impulsively. "The real Earth. Not destroyed. Where I should have grown up." The bird's eyes glimmered. "Reverse engineering," it said. "To me, the flow of time is irrelevant. You decide what you want. I merely make sure it has already happened." Meanwhile, Ford Prefect had made a desperate escape from the Guide's headquarters, diving through a window rather than face the Vogon security forces closing in. As he fell, he realized he had miscalculated badly. The ground rushed up to meet him, and he braced for impact. Instead, a passing hover-car broke his fall. Its pilot had inexplicably decided to swerve at precisely the right moment to catch him. Ford grinned wildly. The Guide Mark II was already working, manipulating probability to protect itself - or was it protecting him? Either way, he needed to get to Lamuella fast. In the Guide offices, Vann Harl regained consciousness. The Vogon captain loomed over him, expressionless. "The device is gone," Harl said fearfully. "Irrelevant," replied the Vogon. "The plan proceeds. The bird has already created its own inevitability." Back on Lamuella, Arthur searched frantically for Random. Night was falling, and a storm threatened. He limped through the forest, his damaged leg from an old crash aching with each step. He didn't understand what was happening, but he knew his daughter was in danger - from herself or something worse, he couldn't tell. Lightning illuminated the path ahead, and Arthur saw a figure emerge from a cave - Random, clutching something to her chest, her eyes wild with purpose. "Random, wait!" he called through the rain. She turned, and for a moment, Arthur saw the lost child behind her anger. Then the black bird appeared, hovering beside her. "Earth," it said simply, and a doorway opened in the air behind them - a rift in probability leading to another Earth in another dimension. Random stepped backward toward it. "Don't," Arthur pleaded. "We don't know what that thing is." "It's a way out," Random replied. "Away from you. Away from all this." She stepped through the rift, and the bird followed. The doorway began to close. Arthur hesitated only for a second before diving through after her, into a reality that shouldn't exist.

Chapter 3: Random Connections: A Daughter from Probability

Arthur tumbled through dimensional space, his stomach lurching as reality rearranged itself around him. He landed hard on wet grass, rain pelting his face. This was Earth - he could feel it instantly. But not his Earth. Something was subtly wrong, like a familiar painting with colors slightly shifted. He struggled to his feet, looking around wildly for Random. A park, London, night time. People were pointing and shouting at something in the distance - a silver spacecraft sitting improbably on a lawn. Television crews had already arrived, lights blazing in the darkness. Arthur pushed through the gathering crowd. A news reporter was attempting to interview Random, who stood defiantly beside the ship, the Guide Mark II perched on her shoulder like a sinister pet. The bird's eyes scanned everything, processing, calculating. "Where did you come from?" the reporter asked, microphone extended. "Another dimension," Random answered flatly. "I'm looking for my mother." The reporter laughed nervously. "And who might that be?" "Tricia McMillan," Random said. "She should be here." The reporter froze. "Tricia McMillan the astrophysicist? The television presenter?" In her luxury apartment across town, Tricia McMillan was watching this unfold on her television with growing horror. This girl was claiming to be her daughter, but Tricia had never had a child. She remembered, though, a strange party years ago where she'd met a two-headed alien named Zaphod Beeblebrox. She'd almost left with him but had gone back for her bag. In this reality, Tricia had never left Earth, had never become "Trillian." Her life had taken a completely different path. "This is impossible," she whispered to her empty living room. The phone rang. It was her network. "Get down there now," her producer ordered. "This is your story somehow." Ford Prefect, meanwhile, had managed to "borrow" another spacecraft and was hurtling toward Earth's coordinates. He knew the Guide Mark II was creating a dangerous convergence of probability lines. The Vogons were using it somehow, manipulating events toward some catastrophic conclusion. He checked the old, original Guide for any information on the new device, but found only a cryptic entry: "The Guide Mark II - the single most dangerous technological innovation since the invention of the Infinite Improbability Drive. Mostly harmless until it isn't." On Earth, Arthur had finally reached Random. "You need to come with me," he said urgently. "That thing is dangerous." "This thing," Random replied, stroking the bird, "is the only friend I have. It understands what it's like to exist in multiple places at once." "It's manipulating you," Arthur insisted. The bird's eyes flashed. "Probability nodes converging," it announced in a voice only Random could hear. "Tricia McMillan approaching. Designated mother variant arriving in three minutes." Random smiled coldly. "Wait right here, Dad. You're about to see something interesting."

Chapter 4: Intersecting Paths: The Hunt for Random and the Guide

A sleek taxi cut through London's rain-slicked streets, carrying Tricia McMillan toward Regent's Park. Her mind raced with impossible theories - parallel dimensions, quantum duplicates, elaborate hoaxes. None explained the girl on television claiming to be her daughter from another reality. As the taxi neared the park, Tricia spotted the silver spacecraft gleaming under police floodlights. A perimeter had been established, but her press credentials got her through. She approached cautiously, camera crews tracking her every move. "That's her," Random said to Arthur, pointing. "The version of my mother who never left Earth. The one who stayed behind." Arthur stared in astonishment. This woman was Trillian, yet not Trillian - the same face, but different somehow. Harder, more solitary, lacking the interstellar confidence of the woman he'd known. Tricia stopped several feet from Random, studying her with journalistic detachment that barely concealed her shock. "They say you're my daughter," she said evenly. "In another probability track, you left Earth with Zaphod Beeblebrox," Random replied. "You became someone called Trillian. You had me through artificial means using his DNA, then abandoned me across time and space while you pursued your career." The Guide Mark II observed this reunion with algorithmic interest, processing the probability nexus forming around these individuals. Its programming was clear: create maximum disruption in the probability continuum. The Vogons had designed it for exactly this purpose. Suddenly, the night sky lit up as another spacecraft descended - a battered, improbable vessel that looked like it had been designed by someone with a severe overdose of color imagination. It landed with a theatrical flourish beside the silver ship. Ford Prefect emerged, his clothes singed and his hair wild. He spotted Arthur immediately. "Arthur!" he shouted. "The bird! We need to get it away from here now!" Before Arthur could respond, another figure emerged from Ford's ship - a woman with windswept hair and a camera around her neck. "Trillian," Arthur gasped. Indeed it was Trillian - the real Trillian, the one who had left Earth, the one who had given birth to Random. She stared in shock at her alternate self, then at her daughter. "Random," she said softly. "What have you done?" The Guide Mark II spread its wings, suddenly alert. "Probability convergence accelerating," it announced to everyone now. "Collapse imminent." Ford lunged for the bird, but it darted away. "That thing is working for the Vogons!" he shouted. "They're using it to engineer a final destruction of Earth across all probability tracks!" "Why would they do that?" Arthur asked, bewildered as always. "Because they never got to finish their hyperspace bypass," Ford replied grimly. "They're bureaucrats, Arthur. They hate unfinished paperwork." In the confusion, no one noticed a dark shadow passing over the moon - a massive Vogon constructor fleet moving into position. No one except the Guide Mark II, which was counting down to the precise probability moment when all versions of Earth would align for simultaneous destruction. Random looked from one version of her mother to the other, then to Arthur, her face a mask of confusion and pain. "I just wanted to belong somewhere," she whispered. "You belong with us," Arthur said firmly, reaching for her hand. "Your real family. Dysfunctional across multiple dimensions, but still family." For a moment, Random hesitated. The Guide Mark II fluttered anxiously on her shoulder.

Chapter 5: Stavro Mueller Beta: The Prophesied Convergence

The rain intensified as a bizarre standoff unfolded in Regent's Park. Two versions of Trillian faced each other across an impossible divide of probability, while Arthur, Random, and Ford tried desperately to make sense of the crisis. News cameras captured everything, broadcasting the dimensional anomaly worldwide. "We need to get everyone away from here," Ford insisted, eyeing the Guide Mark II warily. "That thing is creating a focal point for the Vogons. They're going to demolish every version of Earth simultaneously." "How do you know this?" Tricia demanded, her reporter's instincts kicking in. "Because I stole their plans along with that bird," Ford replied. "The Vogons have engineered a perfect bureaucratic solution - erase every Earth in every dimension so they can finally tick the box on their demolition order." The Guide Mark II suddenly spoke, its voice echoing unnaturally. "Probability nodes aligned. Final convergence point identified: Stavro Mueller Beta." Arthur froze. "What did it say?" "Some club or restaurant," Ford shrugged. "What does it matter?" "Stavro Mueller Beta," Arthur repeated, his face pale. "Years ago, a creature named Agrajag told me I was destined to kill him at a place called Stavro Mueller Beta. He said I couldn't die until after that happened." A cold realization spread through the group. The Guide was manipulating them toward this predestined location - the final convergence point where all probability lines would intersect. "Where is this place?" Trillian asked. As if in answer, a black London cab pulled up to the police barricade. The driver leaned out. "Anyone here call for a ride to Stavro Mueller Beta? New club opening tonight in Soho." "We didn't call anything," Ford said suspiciously. "Probability engineering," the Guide Mark II chirped. "Events rearranging to create inevitable outcomes." Random suddenly grabbed the bird. "This thing has been playing us all along," she said angrily. "It wants us to go there." "Then we don't go," Arthur said firmly. The bird's eyes glowed. "Incorrect. You will go because you have already gone. Temporal reverse engineering ensures completion of probability loops." As if to prove its point, the ground beneath them trembled. In the distance, buildings began to flicker and distort, as if seen through heat waves. Reality itself was becoming unstable. "The Vogon fleet is beginning demolition at the probability edges," Ford explained grimly. "The effect will spiral inward until it reaches us." "So we have no choice," Trillian concluded. "We go to this club and try to stop whatever's supposed to happen there." They piled into Ford's stolen spacecraft - Arthur, Random, both Trillians, and Ford. The Guide Mark II perched in the center, watching them with its unblinking eyes. "What about the rest of these people?" Arthur asked, gesturing to the crowds and police. "If we succeed, their reality continues," Ford said, firing up the engines. "If we fail, nothing will have ever existed anyway." The ship rose into the stormy London sky, leaving bewildered authorities behind. As they flew toward Soho, Arthur noticed Random sitting alone, staring at her hands. "I just wanted to find where I belonged," she said quietly when she felt his gaze. "I know," Arthur replied. "I've been searching for that my whole life." "Did you ever find it?" Arthur thought of his peaceful life making sandwiches on Lamuella. "Almost," he said. "But then I found something more important." "What?" "You," he said simply. The ship descended toward a neon sign that read "Stavro Mueller Beta." The moment of convergence was at hand.

Chapter 6: Probability Collapse: The Ultimate Demolition

The club was packed with London's elite, oblivious to the dimensional crisis unfolding around them. Music throbbed as Arthur, Random, Ford, and the two Trillians pushed their way inside. The Guide Mark II fluttered between them, occasionally vanishing and reappearing as it slipped between probability states. "What exactly are we looking for?" Tricia asked, uncomfortable in this reality she never thought possible. "Agrajag," Arthur replied. "He'll be here somewhere, and apparently I'm destined to kill him." "Not if we can help it," Trillian said firmly. "We break the predestination, we break the probability loop." They spread out through the club. Ford headed to the bar, while Arthur and Random stayed together, scanning the crowd. The two versions of Trillian circled the perimeter, drawing curious stares from patrons who thought they were seeing double. Outside, the dimensional distortion grew worse. Buildings flickered in and out of existence. The sky alternated between night and day, rain and clear, as multiple versions of reality struggled for dominance. The Vogon fleet, invisible to human eyes, tightened its probability vise around the planet. Inside the club's office, the owner - Stavro Mueller himself - reviewed the evening's receipts with satisfaction. He didn't notice the small black bird that appeared on his desk, studying him with cold calculation. "Probability nexus identified," it announced to no one. "Final convergence initiated." At the bar, Ford ordered drinks with Arthur's stolen credit card, keeping one eye on the exits. Something felt wrong - beyond the obvious wrongness of reality collapsing. He spotted a familiar silhouette near the stage - the unmistakable outline of a Vogon. "They're already here," he hissed into a communicator he'd given Arthur. "The Vogons are inside the club." Arthur, standing near the dance floor with Random, felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned to face a strange-looking man with wild eyes. "You!" the man exclaimed. "It's you! After all these incarnations, I've found you again!" Arthur blinked in confusion. "I'm sorry, do I know you?" "Every time!" the man ranted. "Every time I'm reincarnated, you kill me! Well, not this time, Arthur Dent!" With shocking speed, the man pulled out a gun. Random reacted instantly, shoving Arthur aside. The gun went off with a deafening crack. Time seemed to slow. Arthur watched in horror as the bullet meant for him struck the man behind him - a man just emerging from the bathroom, who looked oddly familiar. "You..." the dying man gasped, staring at Arthur in complete confusion before collapsing. The Guide Mark II appeared above the chaos, its wings spread wide. "Probability loop complete," it announced. "Stavromula Beta event realized." "That wasn't Agrajag," Arthur said in shock, kneeling beside the fallen man. "That was... me. Some version of me from another probability track." "Stavromula Beta," Ford said, rushing to his side. "Not Stavro Mueller Beta. You misheard the prophecy all those years ago." Around them, reality began to warp dramatically. The club's walls became transparent, revealing the Vogon fleet surrounding the Earth. Multiple versions of the planet phased in and out of existence - Earth as it was, Earth destroyed, Earth never existing at all. "The collapse is happening," Trillian shouted over the screams of panicked clubgoers. "All versions of Earth are converging to be destroyed simultaneously!" The Guide Mark II hovered triumphantly above them. "Probability matrix reconfiguring. Ultimate destruction imminent." Random suddenly lunged for the bird, grabbing it in both hands. "No," she said fiercely. "You don't get to decide where I belong." The bird struggled, its form fluctuating wildly. "Release me! The probability sequence is predetermined!" "Nothing is predetermined," Random insisted, holding tight despite the electrical energy crackling around her hands. "That's what I've learned from all of you. We make our own paths." With a surge of determination, she pressed the bird's reset switch - a small hidden button Ford had discovered earlier. The device went rigid, then began to fold in on itself, reversing its unfolding process. "What's happening?" Arthur asked, steadying Random as the building shook around them. "Probability realignment," Ford explained, watching the dimensional distortions begin to recede. "She's resetting the Guide to its factory settings." The collapsing probability waves created one final surge. For a moment, everyone saw every possible Earth that could have existed - pristine and polluted, peaceful and war-torn, inhabited and barren. Then, with a thunderous implosion, the Guide Mark II collapsed into a small black disc and fell to the floor. Outside, the Vogon fleet found itself inexplicably back at the edge of the solar system, their demolition order still uncompleted on their paperwork. The commander stared in frustration at the small box on the form that remained unticked. In the club, as panicked patrons fled around them, Arthur held Random steady. The two Trillians approached cautiously. "Is it over?" Tricia asked. "For now," Trillian replied, picking up the inert Guide Mark II. "But the probability damage will take time to heal. Some things will never be the same." "What happens to me?" Tricia wondered. "To my reality?" "It continues," Ford said, scanning readings on his original Guide. "All realities continue. The collapse has been averted." "And us?" Random asked quietly, looking from Arthur to Trillian. "What reality do I belong to?" Arthur smiled gently. "Whichever one we make together."

Summary

As dawn broke over London, the small group gathered on a hillside overlooking the city. Reality had settled back into a single dominant strand, though echoes of other possibilities still rippled faintly around them. Arthur, Random, and Trillian watched as Ford prepared their ship for departure. Tricia McMillan had returned to her own life, carrying impossible knowledge that would forever change her perspective on the universe. The Guide Mark II remained dormant, locked in a secure container that Ford had "borrowed" from a high-security research facility. The Vogons had retreated, their demolition order still unfulfilled, though Arthur knew with grim certainty that bureaucracy, like probability, would eventually find a way. What mattered now was not the next catastrophe lurking beyond the stars, but the small family that had formed in crisis. Random, caught between worlds and parents, had finally found something real to hold onto. Arthur, who had spent his life being yanked unwillingly across the galaxy, had at last discovered a purpose beyond mere survival. And perhaps somewhere, on a small planet circling a modest star, there might be a place where they could make sandwiches together and watch the Perfectly Normal Beasts thunder past. Not a perfect ending, but in a universe of infinite improbability, it was, most improbably, enough.

About Author

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Douglas Adams

Adams reimagines science fiction with a signature blend of humor and philosophical inquiry, crafting narratives that challenge and entertain. His work, particularly "The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy," explores the absurdities of existence and the complexity of human experience through a satirical lens, weaving together cosmic adventures with profound existential questions. The series began as a BBC radio show before expanding into a popular "trilogy" of five novels, notable for their wit and intellectual humor, which resonate with readers who appreciate both entertainment and thoughtful commentary on modern life.\n\nAdams’s writing style merges absurdity with sharp social critique, engaging audiences through imaginative storytelling that highlights the quirks of humanity and the universe. His other works, including "Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency," exemplify his talent for combining mystery with comedy, while co-authored books like "The Meaning of Liff" offer playful explorations of language. Beyond his novels, Adams was a vocal advocate for environmental issues and a technology enthusiast, which informed his narratives and personal philosophy. This short bio underscores his enduring impact as an author whose innovative approach to speculative fiction continues to inspire and provoke reflection among readers across generations.

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