Rebel

Rebel Plot Summary

Introduction

I was seventeen when I first realized I wanted something different than what the world expected of me. Sitting in my guidance counselor's office during senior year, I confidently declared I wouldn't be applying to college. "I'm going to be a rock star," I announced, watching her face shift from surprise to concern. In that moment, I felt the weight of conformity pressing down on me. The counselor explained that our school had a 100% college acceptance rate, and while she didn't care what I did after graduation, I must apply somewhere. Her message was clear: there was a predetermined path for success, and I needed to follow it. This tension between who we truly are and who the world wants us to be exists in all our lives. Most people live according to someone else's blueprint, whether from family expectations, cultural norms, or societal pressure. The result? Lives filled with quiet frustration, unfulfilled potential, and a nagging sense that something essential is missing. But there's another way. By reconnecting with our authentic selves and having the courage to live differently—to rebel against the current of conformity—we can create lives of purpose, meaning, and joy. This journey isn't always easy, but the rewards are immeasurable: waking up energized, making decisions aligned with your values, and experiencing the deep satisfaction of living true to your design.

Chapter 1: The Silent Force: How Conformity Shapes Our Lives

In seventh grade, my parents moved me from public school to a private school about an hour away. Being the new kid at twelve was difficult, especially since my classmates had known each other since kindergarten. Fortunately, a boy named Rob welcomed me into his friend circle. Rob, another friend named James, and I quickly bonded over our shared passion for music. We started a band, spent weekends writing songs and recording them on my dad's cassette recorder, and even performed at local talent shows and coffee shops. But something unexpected happened during our junior year of high school. As classmates began discussing college plans, Rob casually mentioned he wanted to become a lawyer. Confused, I asked why. "It's a good job and it pays well," he replied. When I turned to James, hoping he'd still pursue music with me, he shook his head and said he was thinking about investment banking. I felt suddenly alone and bewildered. When had my creative, passionate friends decided to abandon their dreams for conventional careers? Were they following their own desires, or succumbing to expectations? This invisible force—conformity—shapes our lives in ways we rarely notice. Like fish unaware of the water surrounding them, we're often blind to the cultural currents pulling us toward conventional choices. No one sets out to conform; we do it by default, primarily for two reasons. First, we crave safety and acceptance. Our biological programming makes us fear standing out, as historically, community acceptance meant survival. Second, conformity requires less energy than resistance. Life is busy, decisions are exhausting, and our brains seek efficiency. Taking the path of least resistance means allowing others to make decisions for us. Consider your own life journey. What assumptions have you made about "how life should be"? Perhaps you believed everyone must attend college, work a traditional job, or follow a specific relationship timeline. These assumptions weren't entirely yours—they were absorbed from the culture around you, reinforced by family, education systems, and media. The question is: How is living this way working for you? If the answer is "not very well," it might be time to rebel against these unexamined patterns and create a life that truly reflects who you are.

Chapter 2: Dreams as Rebellion: Reconnecting with Your True Desires

For years I had a dream of becoming a professional musician and songwriter. In college, I worked tirelessly toward this goal, even securing help from a supportive professor who connected me with Nashville session musicians to record my album. I remember being in the studio with these talented professionals, feeling on top of the world as they brought my songs to life. I even had the cliché photo shoot for the album cover—me with my guitar by a brick wall and railroad tracks, looking contemplative and artistic. The album was appropriately titled "Pipe Dream." Despite my efforts, when I pitched my music to record labels, the best offer I received was a development deal—meaning they would sign me but not pay me until I had proven my commercial viability. As a newly engaged man with bills to pay, this wasn't financially feasible. My rock star dream came to a screeching halt, and I found myself at what I now call the "Identity Crisis Intersection." When dreams die, part of our identity dies with them, leaving us at a critical fork in the road. One path leads to conformity—giving up on dreaming to avoid future pain and embarrassment. The other path, less traveled but infinitely more rewarding, involves choosing to dream again. After my music career disappointment, I initially chose conformity. I put my head down, got a "real job" at a radio station, and tried to be like everyone else. For about four years, I floated through life, focusing on being a good husband, father, and employee. But it wasn't satisfying. When I found myself unemployed at twenty-six with a family to support, I reached another crossroads and made a different choice—I decided to dream again. This time, I dreamed of building a flexible business that allowed me to create things that helped people while providing for my family. This decision to reconnect with our desires is revolutionary in a world that often tells us dreaming is foolish or childish. Yet our dreams and desires are crucial clues to our authentic selves. They reveal what we value and who we uniquely are. Think about it: as children, we dream effortlessly about what we want to be, do, and have. But somewhere along the way, well-meaning people pull us "back to earth" and encourage us to be "realistic"—which often means conforming to their expectations rather than pursuing our own vision. The truth is that dreams are like food for our souls. When we starve our dreams, we starve ourselves of joy, purpose, and fulfillment. To reclaim your authentic self, you must resolve to dream again—not just vaguely, but specifically and intentionally. This process begins by acknowledging what you truly want, without judgment or self-censorship. Your desires aren't random or selfish—they're vital clues to the life you were designed to live.

Chapter 3: Vision and Outcomes: Defining Your Ideal Life

A few years ago, my wife and I made the significant decision to build a custom home. After our daughters transitioned to a new school in the middle of the city, our suburban commute became increasingly burdensome. When we couldn't find an existing house that met our needs, we decided to build. This turned into a much bigger undertaking than we'd anticipated. We started with a clear dream: build a house close to our daughters' school. But we also had specific requirements—the house needed to be a certain size, located on water, include a pool, and feature Mediterranean Modern design. We created a document with twenty-five to thirty bullet points detailing our vision. However, if we'd simply handed this wish list to our builders and asked them to "build this house," the result would have been quite different from what we imagined. Instead, we spent months planning every detail, from the floor plan and window design to paint colors and the exact placement of bathroom fixtures. By the end, we had a twenty-nine-page blueprint and a detailed design brief with mockups and product specifications. This approach to home building perfectly illustrates how we should create our dream lives. Before breaking out of conformity, we need a clear, detailed vision of what outcomes we want. Most people have only a general sense of what they want—happiness, financial security, good relationships—but haven't gotten specific about what their ideal life looks like. Without this clarity, they wander aimlessly, unable to recognize which path leads toward their dreams. It's like Alice's conversation with the Cheshire Cat in Lewis Carroll's classic tale. When Alice asks which road she should take, the cat inquires where she wants to go. "I don't know," Alice replies, to which the cat responds, "Then it doesn't matter which way you go." Without a specific destination in mind, any direction seems as good as another. This vagueness leaves us vulnerable to cultural currents that pull us away from our authentic path. Creating a clear vision acts like a blueprint for the life you intend to build. It transforms vague wishes into achievable outcomes. When you can visualize not just the broad strokes of your ideal life but the day-to-day details—how you spend your time, who you're with, how you feel when your head hits the pillow at night—you give your mind and heart something concrete to work toward. As the Bible says, "Write the vision and make it plain." Without vision, we feel empty, directionless, and vulnerable to conformity's pull. Remember that every dream is created twice: first in the mind, then in reality. The more vividly you can imagine your ideal life, the more effectively you can bring it into existence. This isn't just positive thinking—it's strategic life design, allowing you to make intentional choices that align with your authentic self rather than defaulting to cultural expectations.

Chapter 4: Breaking Free: Identifying and Changing Limiting Beliefs

Before I became a business coach or author, I was an audio engineer. In college, I learned to use Pro Tools, the industry-standard software for recording studios. However, by 2011, Pro Tools version 10 had fallen behind competitors—it was slow, clunky, and missing features users wanted. The problem wasn't that the developers didn't know what improvements were needed; the issue was the software's foundation. For two decades, they'd been adding new code on top of the old architecture, like adding rooms to an existing house. Eventually, this approach reached its limits. Behind the scenes, developers were rewriting Pro Tools from the ground up. When version 11 launched in 2013, it was finally what users needed—fast, powerful, and user-friendly. This complete overhaul allowed Avid to regain market share and reestablish Pro Tools as an industry leader. This software story perfectly illustrates our personal development challenge: many of us are running on outdated mental programming that we've accumulated over decades. Just as Pro Tools couldn't improve significantly without rewriting its core code, we can't create dramatically different lives without addressing our foundational beliefs and thought patterns. It's virtually impossible to build an authentic, fulfilling life on top of limiting beliefs and negative self-talk. Our thoughts profoundly shape our reality. As King Solomon wrote in Proverbs, "As he thinks in his heart, so is he." Earl Nightingale expanded on this idea in his famous recording "The Strangest Secret," comparing the human mind to a farmer's land: "The land doesn't care what is planted. It's up to the farmer to make the decision... If the farmer plants two seeds—corn and poison—both will grow with equal abundance. The human mind works the same way. It doesn't care what we plant... but what we plant, it must return to us." Within our minds, two primary voices compete for attention: our intuition (the still, small voice of wisdom and clarity) and our inner story (the loud, persistent narrative of limitation and fear). The inner story drowns out intuition with its volume and persistence. To break free from limiting beliefs, we must stop passively listening to our default inner narrative and start actively talking to ourselves—consciously choosing what thoughts to plant and nurture. Common limiting narratives include: "I'm not smart enough," "It's too late to try something new," "If I do this, something bad will happen," "I don't have enough resources," and "People will judge me." These mental scripts keep us safe in our bubble of conformity but prevent us from pursuing our dreams. Identifying these narratives is the first step toward freedom. The next step is questioning their validity and replacing them with empowering alternatives. This process requires honesty and courage. You must audit your inner story, examining what you believe about yourself and your possibilities. When you shine a light on these limiting beliefs, you often discover they're based on assumptions rather than facts. By questioning these assumptions and considering alternative perspectives, you create space for new, empowering beliefs to take root. This inner work isn't easy, but it's essential for breaking free from conformity and living authentically.

Chapter 5: The Action Framework: Believe, Think, Feel, Do

For years I had a dream of giving a TEDx talk. I love watching these concise, impactful presentations and had always imagined myself on that iconic circular red carpet, sharing ideas worth spreading. But for a long time, it remained just a dream. In 2022, I decided to make it reality and joined a coaching program specializing in helping clients land TEDx talks. During our first intensive, the coaches explained that everyone has an idea worth spreading and that landing a talk was primarily a numbers game—their clients averaged 86 applications before receiving an acceptance. The process made sense, and I left the session feeling energized and confident. I committed to landing a talk within 120 days, wrote it down in my journal, and shared my goal with family, friends, and followers. For three months, I diligently submitted applications to multiple events each week. Though I received several rejections, on my seventieth application, I got the email I'd been waiting for: "You've been selected to speak at our TEDx event!" Three months later, I delivered my talk in Philadelphia, and now it's on the official TEDx YouTube channel. What was the critical moment in this journey? It wasn't hiring the coaching group or sending applications. The pivotal point was when I truly believed it was possible. This illustrates a fundamental formula for life change: what you believe affects your thoughts, which changes how you feel, which in turn affects what you do. Believe, Think, Feel, Do—in that order. Some people suggest we should take action first and the feelings will follow. While this can work temporarily (forcing yourself to smile when stressed can indeed improve your mood), lasting change requires starting with our beliefs. The apostle Paul described this as being "transformed by the renewing of your mind." The Greek word for "renewing" means "renovation" or "complete change for the better." Just like renovating a house, you need to renovate your mind for your external life to transform. To implement this formula daily, focus on two practices: prime and protect. Priming your day means intentionally starting each morning in a way that sets the stage for your mind, body, and soul. Most people begin their day by checking social media, email, or news, immediately surrendering to the current of the day. Instead, create a morning routine that includes wisdom (reading something timeless and profound), affirmation (reviewing what's true and what you want to be true), imagination (visualizing elements of your vision), and thankfulness (expressing gratitude for what you have). Even with a strong start, life will throw challenges your way. This is when you need to protect your day through practices like setting up "stones of remembrance" (visual reminders of your vision and progress), taking five-minute refreshes (using box breathing, gratitude, and visualization to reset), and consulting your "virtual board of advisors" (imagining how people you admire would advise you in challenging situations). Finally, transform your dreams into reality through "goal funnels"—breaking down overwhelming objectives into manageable daily actions. At the top of the funnel is your big dream, in the middle are the key activities that drive results, and at the bottom are the specific daily habits that make those activities possible. Remember that your dream is created through tiny, consistent actions. As James Clear says, "Every action you take is a vote for the person you wish to become."

Chapter 6: Living Free: Letting Go of Others' Expectations

In the early 1990s, a brilliant Princeton graduate quit his lucrative Wall Street job to open an online bookstore. His name was Jeff Bezos, and the store was Amazon.com. We know how this story ends—Amazon became a global giant worth hundreds of billions, and Bezos one of the world's wealthiest individuals. But thirty years ago, everyone thought he was making a terrible mistake. Bezos's Wall Street boss loved him but thought it foolish to quit entirely. His parents were confused by his plan to "sell books over the internet" and suggested he run the business nights and weekends—the "safe" route. Even Bezos himself questioned his decision. What guided him was what he called his "regret minimization framework." He projected himself decades into the future and assessed which choice would cause more regret. He realized he wouldn't regret walking away from his Wall Street bonus, but might deeply regret not participating in the internet revolution. This clarity made his decision "incredibly easy." Importantly, when Bezos launched Amazon, it wasn't the complete "everything store" he envisioned. He started with books because they were easiest to sell online at the time. This limitation didn't stop him from pursuing his dream—it just determined his starting point. The moral? Your authentic life won't materialize if you lack the courage to rebel, especially when loved ones think you're foolish. Living the rebel life is inherently messy. Perfection doesn't exist, so chasing it leads to perpetual disappointment. Sometimes your journey won't go as planned. It might take longer than expected or feel awkward and uncomfortable. As Bob Burg and John David Mann write in "The Go-Giver": "Sometimes the thing feels foolish, but you do it anyway." My wife and I experienced this when we spent a month living in France—while Instagram showed our smiling faces, behind the scenes we were missing trains, getting stuck in parking garages, and managing our children's boredom and homesickness. Yet these challenges were worth experiencing our dream. Another key to living free is letting go of outcome attachment. As someone with "Futuristic" as my top strength, I naturally focus on results. But this creates two problems: dissatisfaction until reaching the goal, and fleeting satisfaction once achieved. Jon Gordon offers this wisdom: "If you love the process, you will love what the process produces." By focusing on and enjoying the journey itself, you remove the burden of outcomes and experience joy now rather than postponing it to some future achievement. Ironically, loving the process also makes achieving your desired outcomes more likely. Finally, to live authentically, create your own values instead of adhering to others'. You can never be truly free while trying to meet someone else's standards—they weren't designed for you. In 2019, my wife and I established our family values: generosity, hospitality, leadership/influence for Jesus, creativity/support for the arts, and entrepreneurship. These values reflect who we are and what matters to us, providing a framework for making decisions aligned with our authentic selves rather than external expectations.

Chapter 7: Finding Purpose: The Simple Path to Your Calling

Author Dan Miller tells a story about a Jewish rabbi during the Roman Empire who accidentally wandered off his path while deep in prayer. Suddenly, he heard a booming voice: "Who are you, and why are you here?!" Looking up, the rabbi realized he was standing before a Roman military outpost with a centurion demanding identification. Rather than answering directly, the rabbi asked how much the guard was paid to ask these questions. When the guard replied "Four drachmas a week," the rabbi offered to double his pay if he would come stand at the rabbi's cabin door each morning and ask those same two questions. This story highlights the only two questions that truly matter in life: Who are you? And why are you here? If you can answer these questions, you can navigate life with confidence, clarity, and joy—unlike most people who remain confused about their identity and purpose. The sequence of these questions is crucial. You can't know your purpose (why you're here) until you know yourself (who you are). My friend Mike Zeller says, "Your identity precedes your destiny." Finding yourself gives clarity about what to do in this world. And interestingly, only your Creator can tell you who you truly are. Like my espresso machine from chapter one, we can't determine our own identity or purpose—these come from our Creator. The REBEL framework helps uncover who you truly are by quieting external noise and examining what's been within you all along. By resolving to dream again, establishing specific outcomes, breaking limiting beliefs, engaging in new thinking patterns, and letting go of others' opinions, you rediscover your authentic self. Your purpose isn't what you do—it's an overflow of who you are. You'll likely have many jobs, vocations, and communities throughout life, but these aren't your calling in themselves. Once you know who you are and begin living authentically, your purpose naturally flows from serving others through your unique gifts. Your calling may change over time, but your core identity remains constant. For years, I thought my calling was to be a musician, then a YouTube creator, then a business coach. Through inner work, I discovered my true identity: I'm an encourager and speaker of life. My deepest joy comes from pouring into people, giving them hope, and empowering them to follow their hearts. My current roles as author, speaker, and coach perfectly express this identity because they allow me to use my natural gifts while honoring my values of family presence and flexible work. If these roles change someday, my identity won't—I'll simply express it in new ways. Finding yourself isn't merely a self-focused pursuit—it's ultimately about the people you'll impact. In Mark 5, Jesus heals a demon-possessed man who then wants to leave everything behind and follow Him. Surprisingly, Jesus tells him to "go home to your family, and tell them everything the Lord has done for you." Being a rebel isn't always about leaving your old life; it's about bringing your true self into your current life. The people around you—your spouse, family, coworkers, community—need the real you, the joyful you, the confident you, the peaceful you. The beautiful secret is that finding yourself isn't really about you at all. It's about who you'll become for others. Your joy becomes their joy, your confidence their confidence, your peace their peace. You have so much to give the world, but it starts with discovering who you truly are.

Summary

Living rebelliously in a conformist world requires a profound mental shift—understanding that you weren't meant to be anyone other than who you were created to be. The cultural current constantly pulls us toward conformity, demanding we follow predetermined paths in our careers, relationships, finances, and personal development. This invisible force shapes our lives in ways we rarely notice, like fish unaware of the water surrounding them. True fulfillment comes only when we dare to swim upstream, reconnecting with our authentic desires and creating lives aligned with our unique design. The journey toward authenticity follows a clear framework: resolve to dream again, establish specific outcomes, break limiting beliefs, engage new thinking patterns, and let go of others' expectations. This path isn't about selfishness or rebellion for its own sake—it's about courageously giving the world your truest self, complete with all your talents, creativity, and joy. Remember that your purpose isn't what you do; it's an overflow of who you are. As you embrace your uniqueness and live intentionally, you not only transform your own experience but inspire others to do the same. The real secret is that finding yourself isn't ultimately about you at all—it's about becoming the person who can bring joy, confidence, and peace to everyone your life touches.

About Author

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Jon Gordon

Jon Gordon is an American business consultant and author on the topics of leadership, culture, sales, and teamwork.Jon Gordon's best-selling books and talks have inspired readers and audiences around the world. His principles have been put to the test by numerous NFL, NBA, and college coaches and teams, Fortune 500 companies, school districts, hospitals and non-profits. He is the author of The Wall Street Journal bestseller The Energy Bus, The No Complaining Rule, Training Camp, The Shark and The Goldfish, Soup, The Seed and his latest The Positive Dog. Jon and his tips have been featured on The Today Show, CNN, Fox and Friends and in numerous magazines and newspapers. His clients include The Atlanta Falcons, Campbell Soup, Wells Fargo, State Farm, Novartis, Bayer and more. Jon is a graduate of Cornell University and holds a Masters in Teaching from Emory University. He and his training/consulting company are passionate about developing positive leaders, organizations and teams. When he's not running through airports or speaking, you can find him playing tennis or lacrosse with his wife and two "high energy" children. You can find him on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jongordonpage

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