You Are a Badass

You Are a Badass Plot Summary

Introduction

Have you ever felt that nagging sensation deep in your gut that you're meant for something more? That beneath the layers of self-doubt, fear, and societal expectations lies a version of yourself that's wildly confident, unapologetically authentic, and capable of creating an extraordinary life? You're absolutely right. That version of you exists right now, waiting to be unleashed. Most of us tiptoe through life hoping to safely make it to death. We stay in our comfort zones, make decisions based on fear rather than desire, and convince ourselves that playing small is somehow noble. But here's the truth: you are a badass. You were one when you came screaming onto this planet, and you are one now. The universe wouldn't have bothered with you otherwise. The journey ahead isn't about becoming someone new—it's about remembering who you've always been and removing the limitations you've placed on yourself.

Chapter 1: Recognize Your Self-Limiting Beliefs

Our subconscious minds contain the blueprint for our lives. From the moment we arrive on this planet, we begin absorbing messages about who we are and how the world works. These messages come primarily from our parents, who pass down beliefs they learned from their parents, who learned them from their parents, and so on. The trouble is, many of these beliefs have nothing to do with who we actually are or what is true. Consider Jennifer's experience with her "bowling accident." While playing with friends, she slipped on the oily surface of a bowling alley and injured her back. Weeks later, she was shopping for a new mattress to help with the resulting foot pain. The salesman, whom she nicknamed "Freak Show Bob," insisted on lying next to her on every mattress she tried. Rather than asking him to stop or finding another salesperson, Jennifer sneaked out of the store, blowing her only opportunity that week to go mattress shopping because she didn't want to create an uncomfortable situation. This response wasn't random—it was programmed. Jennifer came from a family trained to avoid confrontation at all costs. Her mother's parents believed children should be seen and not heard, and emotional displays were met with disdain. Though her mother created a loving home, Jennifer still struggled with confrontation well into adulthood, unable to form a sentence when faced with the phrase "We need to talk." Our subconscious beliefs operate like an autopilot, guiding our decisions and reactions without our awareness. When our conscious minds finally develop, they're still being controlled by these hidden beliefs. This creates confusing conflicts between what we consciously want and what we subconsciously believe. It's like driving with one foot on the gas and one on the brake. To change your life, you must first become aware of what's really going on beneath the surface. Look at the less-than-impressive areas of your life and consider the underlying beliefs that created them. If you're making less money than you know you're capable of earning, write down the first five things that come to mind when you think about money. Is your list full of hope or fear? What were your parents' beliefs about money? Do you see any connection? Once you see what's really happening, you can begin to drag out the stinky carcasses of your limiting subconscious beliefs and give them the heave-ho, opening up space for fresh, new, awesome beliefs and experiences to enter your life.

Chapter 2: Connect with Your Source Energy

All of us are connected to a limitless power, and most of us aren't using but a fraction of it. Our energy is taking a joy ride in these bodies of ours—learning, growing, and evolving along the way—until our corporal journey comes to an end and we move on. This realization, that we're made up of and connected to Source Energy, can transform how we experience life. Wherever you happen to stand on the God issue, this whole improving your life thing is going to be a lot easier if you have an open mind about it. Call it whatever you want—God, Goddess, The Universe, Source Energy, Higher Power, The Grand Poobah, gut, intuition, Spirit, The Force—it doesn't matter. What matters is that you start to develop an awareness of, and a relationship with, the Source Energy that surrounds and exists within you. The Universe is made up of Source Energy, and all energy vibrates at a certain frequency. You're vibrating at a certain frequency, and everything you desire (and don't desire) is also vibrating at a certain frequency. Vibration attracts like vibration—this is the Law of Attraction. When you're vibrating at a low frequency (feeling pessimistic, needy, victimized, jealous) yet expect high-frequency, awesome things to come into your life, you're often disappointed. Take the example of radio stations. If you have a hot date and want to listen to 105.9FM Slow Jamz, but set your dial to 89.9FM National Public Radio, you're not only going to be Slow Jamless, but you're more likely to attract a discussion about immigration laws instead of creating a relaxed, candlelit mood for love. The Universe will match whatever vibration you put out, and you can't fool it. When you learn to consciously master the energetic realm, believe in the not-yet-seen, and stay in your highest frequency, you harness your innate power to create the reality you desire. Once you realize that you can dramatically improve your situation by connecting with Source Energy and raising your frequency, you can do it instead of staying in the suckhole and feeling like a victim. In order to truly raise your vibration, you've got to believe that everything you want is available to you. And the best way to keep this belief strong is by staying connected to Source Energy. It's like we're surrounded by an all-you-can-eat buffet of incredible experiences, and all we have to do is align our energy with what we want and take decisive action.

Chapter 3: Embrace the Present Moment

It never ceases to amaze me the precious time we spend chasing squirrels around our brains, playing out dramas, worrying about unwanted facial hair, seeking adoration, justifying our actions, complaining about slow Internet connections, when we are sitting in the middle of a full-blown miracle that is happening right here, right now. We're on a planet that somehow knows how to rotate on its axis and follow a defined path while it hurtles through space! Our hearts beat! We can see! We have love, laughter, language, living rooms, computers, compassion, cars, fire, fingernails, flowers, music, medicine, mountains, muffins! The fact that we aren't stumbling around in an inconsolable state of sobbing awe is appalling. Consider Jennifer's experience in yoga class. She was in Pigeon Pose, which she dreaded because her hips don't move that way. While the instructor talked about connection to The Universe, Jennifer's mind raced: "Will you hurry up I think I'm going to rip something I really do oh my God I think I'm actually stuck." Then suddenly—whoosh—she breathed into it. She shut off the relentless yammering in her brain, got quiet, and surrendered. Her body shifted and went deeper into the pose than ever before. The pain vanished. She was one with The Universe. But then her mind started racing again, and she lost the connection. This flip-flopping between freaking out in our heads and "breathing into the Now" is how most of us go through life. Instead of worrying about the future or dwelling on the past, we could luxuriate in the magnificence available in the moment. The Universe has surrounded us with perfect teachers. Animals, for example, are in the present all the time, and their secret power is to pull us in with them. Jennifer's friend's dog is so happy to see her every time she walks in the door, it's like she's about to free him from forty years of imprisonment—even if she's only been gone for an hour. Little kids are also excellent guides. They get so wrapped up in the joy of creating that they'd rarely eat or bathe or sleep if we didn't make them. All the stuff we're so worried about creating and fixated on becoming is already right here, right now. The money you want already exists; the person you want to meet is already alive; the experience you want to have is available now; the idea for that brilliant song is waiting for you to download it. The life you want is right here, right now. The more practiced you become at being present and connected to Source Energy, the more available you are to download ideas and seize opportunities. Stop and notice how you feel right now. Feel your breath moving in and out of your body. Feel the air on your skin. Notice the energy inside and outside of you buzzing. Shut off your thoughts and feel your connection to Source.

Chapter 4: Overcome Your Fear

Fear lives in the future. The feeling of being afraid is real, but the fear itself is all made up because it hasn't even happened yet—death, going bankrupt, breaking a leg, forgetting our lines, getting rejected, etc. Most of the time we have no guarantee that what we fear is going to happen, or that if it does, it will be scary! When Jennifer lived in New Mexico, a friend took her to a cave in the Jemez Mountains. After a beautiful hike, they reached a small hole at the base of a hill just big enough to crawl through. Jennifer followed her friend on hands and knees, holding her flashlight with her teeth. About ten minutes in, the tunnel had closed in so tightly that when her friend stopped and leaned against the wall, she had to bend her head forward to fit. "Okay, now for the cool part—you ready?" her friend asked. "Turn off your light." The instant Jennifer's light went out, she experienced absolute darkness. She felt hysteria begin to worm up the back of her neck, and for the first time in her life, she completely understood fear. It sat there, omnipresent, gigantic, all-consuming, staring her straight in the face asking, "So, you gonna let me swallow you up or what?" Jennifer realized she had a choice: she could unravel into a claustrophobic freak-out or remain calm. She chose the latter, crawling back out of the cave to the land of sunshine. She emerged with not only sand in her ears, but a profound understanding of the choice aspect of fear. It's so simple—fear will always be there, but we can choose whether to engage with it or turn on the lights and crawl past it. We've made being in fear a habit. We're pumped full of it as children, then continue to take in bad news and horror stories as adults. We're taught to play it safe and not take risks. It's become such an accepted part of our social conditioning that we don't even realize we're doing it. What would your immediate response be if someone you loved said: "I'm quitting my secure job to become an actor" or "I met someone last week and we're getting married"? For most people, the first reaction is to scream, "Look out!" We've not only made a habit of smearing our fear and worry all over each other, but we pat ourselves on the backs for it because we believe it shows how much we care. All it takes to turn the fear factor around is learning to be comfortable in, instead of terrified of, the unknown. This is done through faith. It comes down to how you choose to go through life: Is your fear greater than your faith in the unknown (and yourself)? Or is your faith greater than your fear? On the other side of your fear is your freedom. When you find yourself letting fear push you around, break it down and flip it around to make it work for you. For example, if you're afraid to write a book because it might be terrible and people will make fun of you, ask yourself: How stupid and ashamed will you feel if you don't write your book? Living an unlived life of mediocrity and shame is far worse than trying and failing.

Chapter 5: Master Your Mindset

Our thoughts are the most powerful tools we've got. It's through our thoughts that we create our realities. You created the reality you now exist in with your thoughts, which means you can use the very same power to change it. As Wallace Wattles states in The Science of Getting Rich: "To think what you want to think is to think the truth, regardless of appearances." It doesn't matter what your reality looks like at the moment, because where you desire to be is the truth, and if you fixate your mind on this truth, believe it's real and already here, and take decisive action, it will manifest. This is where most people dig in their heels and say, "I am sitting in my ghetto-ass kitchen eating tuna out of a can, and you're telling me this isn't the truth? You're saying the truth is that I'm hanging poolside with the president?" If you truly desire to hang poolside with the president, and are hell-bent in your mind and actions to create it, it's the truth. Have you noticed how people can go through the same course and get the same information, but some will rock it while others fall flat? The ones who kick ass are those who can see themselves kicking ass, who truly believe in themselves, who have no limiting subconscious beliefs holding them back. Your thoughts and beliefs dictate your reality, so if you want to change your reality, you must change your beliefs. Here's what's hugely important: You have to change your thinking first, and then the evidence appears. Our big mistake is doing it the other way around—demanding to see the evidence before we believe it to be true. Jennifer had a client who went to Tuscany and fell in love with a villa. At the time, she was a bartender and poet who could barely afford the plane ticket to Italy, let alone buy property there. But she asked the owners to take it off the market because she was going to figure out a way to buy it. Everyone told her she was crazy—she didn't speak Italian, wasn't a citizen, knew nothing about home ownership, and couldn't even afford to get her teeth cleaned. Yet she kept going because, despite all evidence to the contrary, she believed this was her house. This was her truth. Eventually, someone suggested pre-renting blocks of time to raise money. After many ups and downs, discovering this was illegal, then finding out it wasn't, she pre-sold enough rental slots and borrowed money to buy the villa. She's owned it for years and is thinking about buying another. To show your brain who's driving the bus, try these techniques: First, get quiet and connect to Source Energy. Ask for what you want in a clear space to begin the manifestation process. Second, act as if you already have what you want. If you want to hang poolside with the president, think about what you'd wear, what you'd talk about, and put yourself in situations where you might meet people who can make this happen. Third, upgrade your environment to match your desires. Even small changes signal to the Universe that you're serious. Fourth, make a vision board with images of what you want to manifest. Finally, surround yourself with people who think the way you want to think—those who see limitless possibility as reality.

Chapter 6: Take Decisive Action

When Henry Ford first came up with the idea for his V-8 motor, he wanted all eight cylinders cast in one block. His team of engineers told him it was impossible. Ford insisted they keep trying, no matter how long it took. They worked for a year with no success, but Ford sent them back again. Eventually, somewhere between folding origami swans and making fart noises, the engineers discovered how to make his eight-cylinder engine block. This is what it means to make a real decision. When you decide, you sign up fully and keep moving toward your goal, regardless of what's flung in your path. And stuff will definitely get flung, which is why making the decision is so crucial—this isn't for sissies. The moment it gets hard or expensive or puts you at risk of looking like a moron, if you haven't truly decided, you'll quit. If you had an idea and had to go against a roomful of people who "knew better," would you stick to your guns? If you needed thousands of dollars for your business and the only person you could ask was your scary rich uncle, would you do it? If you were sick of feeling out of shape and the only time you could make it to the gym was at 5 a.m. on freezing winter mornings, would you go? If you made the decision that you were going to reach your goals, you would do whatever it took. If you merely wanted to, but hadn't made the firm decision, you'd roll over and convince yourself your life is fine as it is. Temporary failure is all the rage. All the cool kids have done it. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team. Steven Spielberg was rejected from film school three times. Thomas Edison tried more than 9,000 experiments before successfully creating the light bulb. Soichiro Honda was turned down by Toyota for an engineering position, so he started his own company. The only failure is quitting. Everything else is just gathering information. There's no big mystery to this: If you want something badly enough and decide you will get it, you will. You've done it before—you've lost weight, gotten the job, bought the house—you just need to remember you can do it with anything, even things you presently think are out of reach. To take decisive action, first, want it bad. You need a ten-ton gorilla of desire behind your decision or you'll wimp out when things get hard. Second, get good at deciding. Deciding means literally "to cut off." Practice on small things to build your decision-making muscle. Third, eliminate negotiation. Once you decide, don't entertain ideas of straying from your decision. Fourth, stick like glue. Be tenacious. As one entrepreneur said, "Be the last person standing. Wear down your obstacles until they're finally like, 'Fine, here you go, now get out of my face.'" In order to change your life, your faith in miracles and yourself must be greater than your fear. However easy or rough your process is, you must be willing to fall down, get up, look stupid, cry, laugh, make a mess, clean it up, and not stop until you get there. No matter what.

Chapter 7: Surrender to the Universe

Imagine yourself sitting by a window, looking out at a garden on a lovely spring day. You see birds and bees and butterflies flitting about when suddenly, the most beautiful butterfly in the world catches your eye. Its stunning turquoise wings make your heart explode. Suddenly you leap up, overcome with desire—it must be mine! You grab your net and chase it around the garden for hours, but all you do is scare it off. It's only when you stop trying so desperately, relax, and surrender that the butterfly calmly lands on your nose. When we want something badly and work tirelessly to get it, if we don't surrender, we end up pushing it away. There comes a point where we need to hand the job over to the Universe. This doesn't mean giving up or stopping action. It means letting go energetically, releasing our kung fu grip, and creating space for what we want to come to us. Your faith in the Universe must be stronger than your fear of not getting what you want. It's like hiring someone to clean your house so you can focus on other work. You explain what they should do, but you trust them with the job. If you're constantly hovering and grabbing the sponge—"let me do that!"—they'll never finish, and you'll stay overwhelmed, missing the benefits that inspired you to hire them in the first place. Surrendering is the part where you hand the job over to the Universe. What often happens is that, despite our best intentions, we try to control circumstances using our limiting beliefs and old patterns. We think we need to take charge (fear-based thinking) instead of having faith and allowing the Universe to deliver (love-based thinking). Imagine someone invites you to a party. They're excited about it, truly delighted to have you come, but with zero pressure—they know it will be awesome whether you come or not. Now imagine someone else invites you to a different party, demanding you attend, acting like it will be a failure unless you show up, reminding you they came to your last party. Both people might prepare the same way, but one is much more likely to get what they want—you showing up and wanting to be there—because they have surrendered. Surrendering isn't about what you do, but who you're being as you do it. If you're broke, it's not about working until you're half dead and whining. It's about showing up with an excellent attitude, doing your best, and working with grateful expectation that the Universe is sending you a new opportunity. If you're single, it's about keeping your desire strong and your faith unwavering, flirting your ass off, and being grateful that the person you seek is also seeking you. Doubt is resistance; faith is surrender. Worry is resistance; joy is surrender. Control is resistance; allowing is surrender. Ridicule is resistance; believing is surrender. Energy needs to flow, or it stagnates. Surrendering puts you in the flow. Not only does surrendering create space to manifest your desires, but it opens you to manifest experiences beyond your current awareness. When moving into a new life, you can't know how to get there because it's new territory. Likewise, you may not know what your new reality will look like because you've never seen it. By stubbornly holding onto your exact vision instead of surrendering, you might miss something even better. To surrender: Get crystal clear on what you desire. See it, feel it, believe it's already here. Decide you will have it. Inform the Universe by behaving as if you already have it. Meditate and connect with Source Energy. Take passionate action. Be grateful that it's yours. Then breathe, let it go, and let it in.

Summary

Throughout this guide to fearless living, we've explored how to recognize and overcome the limiting beliefs that hold you back, connect with your inner power, embrace the present moment, face your fears, master your mindset, take decisive action, and surrender to the universe. The journey to unleashing your inner badass isn't about becoming someone new—it's about removing the barriers that prevent you from being who you truly are. As you move forward, remember these powerful words: "Your life is your party. You get to choose how you invite people and experiences and things into it." Whether you're seeking financial abundance, meaningful relationships, or simply a life that lights you up from within, the process remains the same: believe that it's possible, that it's available to you, and that you deserve it. Starting today, give yourself permission and the means to be who you are, regardless of what anybody else thinks or believes is possible. When you live your life doing the things that turn you on, that bring you joy, that make you want to shout "check this out!" to everyone around you, you walk around so lit up that you shoot sunbeams from your eyeballs—which is precisely why you're here: to shine your big-ass ball of fire onto this world of ours.

About Author

Loading...

Jen Sincero

Jen Sincero is a #1 New York Times Bestselling author, speaker and success coach who has helped countless people transform their personal and professional lives via her public appearances, private sessions, coaching seminars and, most recently, her latest #1 NY Times Bestselling book, "You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life".She’s spoken on stages all over the world and has coached full-on super heroes, helping them build their dream businesses, become NY Times Bestselling authors, navigate million dollar business deals, find their soul mates and forgive their bitchy mothers who they now realize were just doing the best they could.Before becoming a coach, Jen played in several rock bands and eventually wrote her first book, a semi-autobiographical novel called, "Don’t Sleep With Your Drummer." When her plans to become a world-famous rockstar didn’t pan out, she decided to try being a lesbian instead, didn’t pull that off either, and wrote her second book, the National Bestseller, "The Straight Girl’s Guide to Sleeping With Chicks." Jen currently lives in New Mexico, and can be found on the web at JenSincero.Com.

Read more