One Decision

One Decision Plot Summary

Introduction

Have you ever felt like you're making decisions that don't truly align with who you are? Perhaps you've found yourself stuck in patterns that leave you feeling disconnected, unfulfilled, or simply out of sync with your deepest values. Many of us navigate life making choices based on what we think we should do rather than what genuinely resonates with our authentic selves. The journey toward a better life begins with a single, powerful choice—the decision to live authentically. When we commit to making decisions from our true self rather than from fear, external pressure, or outdated beliefs, we unlock an extraordinary potential for transformation. This path isn't always the easiest, but it's ultimately the most rewarding. Throughout these pages, you'll discover how to recognize your authentic self, transform obstacles into opportunities, and take inspired action that aligns with who you truly are.

Chapter 1: Recognize Your Authentic Self

Authenticity begins with recognizing who you truly are at your core. This isn't about who you think you should be or who others expect you to be—it's about uncovering your genuine self beneath layers of conditioning and adaptation. Your authentic self represents your unique combination of values, passions, strengths, and even vulnerabilities that make you distinctively you. Mike Bayer introduces a powerful concept called the Best Self versus the Anti-Self. He explains that our Best Self embodies our authentic nature—the person we are when we're aligned with our values and operating at our highest level. This isn't about perfection but rather about wholeness and alignment. In contrast, our Anti-Self represents the parts of ourselves that sabotage our growth and happiness. These are the voices of fear, judgment, and limitation that pull us away from our authentic path. Bayer shares the story of Nikko Hurtado, a world-renowned tattoo artist who faced a pivotal moment when his grandmother won a large lottery sum. While family members fought bitterly over the money, Nikko made what he calls his "One Decision"—to walk away from it all. Despite having no backup plan, he chose integrity over financial gain. He trusted his authentic self over external pressures and focused on developing his unique artistic talents. This decision aligned with his core values and ultimately led to tremendous success in his career and personal fulfillment. The transformation began when Nikko realized that his authentic self wasn't motivated by material wealth but by artistic expression and personal integrity. Fellow artist Guy Aitchison later pointed out to Nikko that his behaviors were influencing others, prompting Nikko to make another authentic decision—to stop drinking and smoking to become a positive influence. Today, Nikko believes his true art form is inspiring others, which has become his authentic calling. To recognize your authentic self, start by identifying your core values—what matters most to you beyond societal expectations. Notice when you feel most alive, engaged, and in flow. These are indicators that you're operating from your Best Self. Pay attention to physical sensations in your body when making decisions—tension often signals misalignment with your authentic self, while ease and openness suggest alignment. Remember that authenticity isn't static—it evolves as you grow. The journey of recognizing your authentic self is ongoing, but with practice, you'll develop an increasingly reliable inner compass that guides your decisions from a place of truth rather than fear or obligation.

Chapter 2: Transform Obstacles into Opportunities

Life inevitably presents challenges, but the way we perceive these obstacles dramatically impacts our ability to overcome them. What differentiates those who thrive from those who remain stuck is their perspective—seeing potential opportunities within apparent obstacles. This shift in perception forms the foundation for authentic decision-making. Mike Bayer introduces what he calls the "Four Os": Obstacle, Opportunity, One Decision, and Outcome. This framework helps us understand how our perception shapes our reality. When we view something as an obstacle, we focus on problems, limitations, and what we can't do. This perspective keeps us trapped in negative feelings and inaction. However, when we consciously shift to seeing opportunities, we open ourselves to possibilities, growth, and solutions. Consider the story of a person facing financial hardship after retirement. Through the obstacle lens, they might think: "I'm not qualified to reenter the workforce," "I'll never make ends meet," or "I'm devastated to give up my retirement." These thoughts lead to paralysis. However, through the opportunity lens, the same situation transforms: "I might find job options perfect for my age range," "Maybe I'll enjoy myself more than in my last career," or "It's exciting to learn something new." This shift isn't about denying reality but about finding the potential within challenges. The transformation happens when we consciously choose to look through the opportunity lens rather than the obstacle lens. This isn't mere positive thinking—it's about expanding our vision to see all available options. When we do this, our energy shifts, our creativity awakens, and solutions begin to emerge that weren't visible before. To practice this transformation, Bayer suggests a simple exercise: identify a current challenge, notice how you feel when viewing it as an obstacle, then deliberately shift to seeing potential opportunities within it. Write down these different perspectives and notice how your emotional state and available actions change with each viewpoint. The key insight is that obstacles don't disappear through this process—they transform. The situation itself might remain unchanged, but your relationship to it fundamentally shifts. This is the essence of personal power: recognizing that while we can't control all circumstances, we always maintain control over our perception and response. Remember that transforming obstacles into opportunities isn't a one-time event but a practice. With consistent application, this approach becomes second nature, allowing you to navigate life's challenges with greater resilience, creativity, and authentic alignment.

Chapter 3: Identify Your Decision Drivers

Behind every decision we make lies a powerful force that shapes our perceptions and drives our actions. Understanding these forces—what Bayer calls the FORCE—is essential for making authentic decisions that lead to a better life. FORCE is an acronym representing five key patterns that can either sabotage or support our decision-making process. The FORCE components include Fortune-telling versus Fact-finding, Overgeneralizing versus Objective thinking, Rigid mindset versus Relaxed mindset, Confused purpose versus Clarified purpose, and Emotional reasoning versus Evidence-based reasoning. Each pair represents a negative pattern that keeps us stuck in obstacle thinking and its positive counterpart that enables opportunity-focused decisions. Mike shares the story of a personal trainer named Mike who consistently undervalued his services despite his exceptional qualifications. Mike had been working with clients with severe mental health issues for over seventeen years—a unique skillset that commanded premium rates. Yet he charged half what others did because he was engaging in fortune-telling, assuming clients would reject higher rates without ever testing this assumption. During a coaching session, Mike realized he was letting his "blue-collar mindset" and fear of rejection drive his decisions rather than the facts of his expertise and market value. He was creating stories about what clients would think instead of presenting his qualifications and letting them decide. This pattern had kept him overworked and underpaid for years. The transformation began when Mike shifted from fortune-telling to fact-finding. Instead of assuming clients would reject higher rates, he gathered evidence of his extensive experience and specialized skills. He practiced articulating his value: "I have twenty-two years of experience in the business, with seventeen years in mental health care. You're getting a nuanced style of training more suited to developing better lifestyle patterns." This shift from assumption to evidence empowered him to make an authentic decision about his rates. To identify your own decision drivers, start noticing patterns in how you approach choices. Do you predict negative outcomes without evidence? Do you overgeneralize based on isolated experiences? Do you rigidly adhere to one way of thinking? Do you feel confused about your purpose? Do you let emotions override evidence? Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward changing them. Practice challenging negative FORCEs by consciously engaging their positive counterparts. Replace fortune-telling with fact-gathering, overgeneralizing with objective thinking, rigidity with relaxation, confusion with clarity of purpose, and emotional reasoning with evidence-based reasoning. These shifts create the mental space needed for authentic decisions. Remember that identifying your decision drivers isn't about self-criticism but self-awareness. We all engage in these patterns at times. The goal is to recognize when they're happening so you can consciously choose a more empowering approach aligned with your authentic self.

Chapter 4: Build Your Decision-Making Team

No one achieves greatness alone. Behind every successful person stands a team of supporters who provide guidance, encouragement, and perspective. Building an intentional Decision-Making Team is crucial for making authentic choices that lead to a better life. Mike Bayer emphasizes that having the right people around you can dramatically enhance your ability to make decisions from your authentic self. These aren't necessarily the people you spend the most time with, but rather those who know who you truly are and help you stay aligned with that truth. They support you not only in making decisions but also in handling the outcomes, whatever they may be. Deacon's story powerfully illustrates the importance of having the right team. Coming from extreme disadvantage—born into a religious cult, experiencing homelessness, and falling into drug addiction by age twelve—Deacon seemed destined for a troubled life. After hitting rock bottom at the bottom of a canyon, bloodied and alone, he made the decision to get sober. His transformation came not just from personal determination but from carefully selecting role models and supporters who exemplified the qualities he wanted to develop. As Deacon rebuilt his life, he deliberately surrounded himself with people whose habits and choices inspired him—nurses, bartenders, and others who demonstrated kindness and stability. These weren't celebrities or wealthy mentors but ordinary people living with integrity. By observing and learning from their examples, Deacon was able to create a life of success and fulfillment, eventually buying his own home despite having been homeless as a child. To build your own Decision-Making Team, Bayer suggests identifying specific roles that different people might play. These include the Sounding Board who listens deeply, the Visionary who sees your potential, the Motivator who gets you moving, the Nurturer who provides comfort, the Big-Picture Thinker who offers perspective, the Helper who provides practical support, the Wise Counsel who shares wisdom, the Connector who introduces you to others, the Fun Maker who helps you relax, and the Adviser who provides expertise. Start by evaluating your current team. Who already fills these roles in your life? Where are there gaps? Not everyone needs to fill all roles—it's about having the right mix of support for your unique journey. Be mindful of agendas as well. Ask yourself whether each person's intentions align with your best interests or if they might be projecting their own needs onto your decisions. Remember that being on a strong team is reciprocal. As you build your Decision-Making Team, consider what roles you play for others and how you can be an authentic supporter of their journeys. The most powerful teams are those where everyone contributes according to their strengths and receives support according to their needs.

Chapter 5: Take Inspired Action

Knowledge without action remains merely potential. The culmination of recognizing your authentic self, transforming obstacles into opportunities, identifying your decision drivers, and building your team is taking inspired action—making decisions and following through on them from a place of authenticity. Taking inspired action means moving beyond simply knowing what to do to actually doing it. It's about translating your insights and intentions into tangible steps that create real change in your life. This isn't about perfection or guaranteeing specific outcomes; it's about committing to the process of living authentically and allowing that commitment to guide your choices. Mike shares the story of Austin, a thirty-one-year-old who had spent seven years in a job that left him feeling unfulfilled. Despite knowing from the start that this career path wasn't aligned with his passions, he stayed because it was comfortable and provided financial stability. Austin found himself paralyzed by indecision, making excuses about being too tired after work to explore new directions. During a coaching session, Austin realized he was trapped in a confused purpose mindset. He was overthinking possibilities while taking no concrete steps toward change. Though he claimed to desire purpose and meaning in his work, his actions showed otherwise. Every time they discussed passion and inspiration, Austin would return to process concerns and self-doubt. The breakthrough came when Austin recognized that his paralysis stemmed partly from depression and anxiety. His confusion wasn't just about career direction but about deeper emotional patterns. His One Decision became seeking therapy to address these underlying issues—a choice that aligned with his authentic needs rather than external expectations about what career moves "should" look like. To take inspired action in your own life, Bayer suggests starting by identifying behaviors that aren't working. Create a list of specific actions that keep you stuck in patterns that don't serve your growth. Then identify new behaviors to adopt that support your authentic decisions. For example, if improving social connections is your goal, you might stop meeting people in bars and start joining activity groups aligned with your interests. Once you've identified these behaviors, activate your Decision-Making Team to support your action plan. Create a flowchart that outlines your One Decision, the team members who can support specific aspects of it, and the behaviors you'll stop and start to bring it to life. This visual roadmap helps maintain clarity and momentum. Remember that taking inspired action isn't about forcing outcomes but about aligning your behaviors with your authentic self. When you consistently act from this place of alignment, you create the conditions for positive change, regardless of how things ultimately unfold.

Chapter 6: Let Go of the Outcome

Perhaps the most challenging aspect of authentic decision-making is surrendering control of the results. Once you've made your decision from your Best Self and taken inspired action, the final step is to let go and allow the universe to determine the outcome. This surrender isn't about passive resignation but about a profound trust in the process. When we make decisions authentically and act with integrity, we've done our part. The rest unfolds according to forces beyond our control, often in ways we couldn't have predicted or engineered ourselves. Mike shares a personal story about his journey with public speaking. For years, he avoided speaking opportunities despite having a charity that conducted events in over seventy-five cities. He let his emotions—specifically fear and discomfort—dictate his decisions. When he shifted to evidence-based reasoning, he recognized that he had actually been developing relevant skills for decades through his work presenting ideas at treatment centers and working with high-profile individuals. Once Mike made the decision to embrace public speaking despite his fears, something remarkable happened. Not only did he discover he was capable, but he found a new path to fulfill his purpose of helping others. Today, he speaks regularly on Dr. Phil, at corporate events worldwide, and connects with audiences through podcasts and social media. This outcome—becoming a sought-after public speaker—wasn't something he could have forced or predicted, but it emerged naturally from making an authentic decision and letting go of controlling the result. To practice letting go of outcomes in your own life, Bayer suggests creating a personal mantra that reinforces this surrender: "With an opportunity mindset, I have made my decision as my Best Self. I know what I have to do. I now choose to let the universe decide the outcome. I surrender control, and I choose to have peace." This isn't about abdicating responsibility for your actions but about recognizing the limits of your control. When we release our grip on specific outcomes, we open ourselves to possibilities we couldn't have imagined. Often, the universe delivers results far better than what we initially envisioned. This requires faith—not necessarily religious faith, but faith in the process of authentic living and in your own resilience to handle whatever comes. Remember that letting go doesn't mean you don't care about results. It means you care enough about your authentic journey that you're willing to trust it, even when it takes unexpected turns. This paradoxical surrender often leads to the greatest freedom and fulfillment.

Summary

The journey to a better life isn't about making perfect decisions but about making decisions as your authentic self. Throughout these pages, we've explored how to recognize your true self beneath layers of conditioning, transform obstacles into opportunities through perception shifts, identify the forces driving your decisions, build a supportive team, take inspired action, and ultimately surrender control of outcomes. Each of these elements forms a crucial part of the authentic decision-making process. As Mike Bayer powerfully states, "I believe that One Decision can change the trajectory of your life." That One Decision is the commitment to live authentically in every choice you make, large or small. Starting today, choose one area of your life where you've been making decisions based on fear, others' expectations, or outdated beliefs. Apply the principles from these pages—shift your perception to opportunities, identify which FORCE might be driving your thinking, consult your Decision-Making Team, create an action plan, and then let go of controlling the outcome. This single step, taken authentically, can be the beginning of a profound transformation in how you experience your life and relationships.

About Author

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Mike Bayer

Mike Bayer, known as Coach Mike, is Founder and CEO of CAST Centers. Mike Bayer is a personal development coach who has changed the lives of numerous families, executives, and artists by empowering them to break free of destructive patterns and cycles.

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