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Before I Say Goodbye

3.9 (13,727 ratings)
17 minutes read | Text | 9 key ideas
Nell MacDermott faces an unimaginable nightmare when a catastrophic explosion claims her husband Adam's life. Crippled by guilt over their last heated argument, where she forbade him from returning home, Nell discovers that the blast was no mere accident—it was a deliberate attack. Driven by an unyielding need for answers, she reluctantly turns to a medium, urged by her great-aunt Gert's faith in the supernatural. As the medium channels messages from Adam, Nell is drawn into a web of deceit and danger. Her journey to uncover Adam's secrets and the truth behind the explosion leads to a gripping showdown, where revelations threaten her very existence. Will Nell unravel the mystery before it's too late, or will the truth be buried forever?

Categories

Fiction, Mystery, Romance, Thriller, Adult, Contemporary, Adult Fiction, Suspense, Crime, Mystery Thriller

Content Type

Book

Binding

Hardcover

Year

1999

Publisher

Simon Schuster

Language

English

ASIN

068482132X

ISBN

068482132X

ISBN13

9780684821320

File Download

PDF | EPUB

Before I Say Goodbye Plot Summary

Introduction

The morning sun cast long shadows across Park Avenue as Nell MacDermott prepared for what she believed would be another ordinary day. She had no way of knowing that by evening, her husband Adam would be dead, blown to pieces in a boat explosion that would shatter not just his yacht, but everything she thought she knew about the man she'd married. As the investigation unfolded, Nell would discover that the charming architect she'd fallen in love with was a master manipulator whose web of lies stretched from construction kickbacks to murder. But in a city where the dead sometimes refuse to stay silent, and where a grieving widow's search for truth leads her into the darkest corners of corruption and betrayal, Nell would learn that some secrets are worth killing for—and that the most dangerous person in her life might not be dead after all. The explosion in New York Harbor would claim four lives, but it would take a child's nightmares, a homeless woman's stolen belongings, and a psychic's deadly game to reveal that someone had escaped the flames. In a race against time, Nell must uncover the truth before she becomes the next victim of a killer who has already proven that nothing—not love, not loyalty, not innocent lives—will stand in the way of the perfect crime.

Chapter 1: The Shattering Explosion: A Wife's World Destroyed

The *Cornelia II* bobbed peacefully in New York Harbor as Adam Cauliff prepared for his final business meeting. The sleek cabin cruiser, named for his wife Nell, carried five people into the choppy waters: Adam himself, his devoted assistant Winifred Johnson, construction boss Sam Krause, and Jimmy Ryan, a troubled foreman who clutched a briefcase containing secrets that would die with him. Peter Lang, the fifth expected guest, had been delayed by a convenient traffic accident. Eight-year-old Ben Tucker pressed his glasses against the ferry window, watching the distant yacht through the gathering dusk. The boy's exceptional eyesight caught every detail as the boat suddenly became a fireball, debris hurling skyward in a shower of metal and flame. What Ben saw in those terrifying seconds would haunt his dreams for weeks—a figure in a black wetsuit diving from the boat, carrying what looked like a woman's purse, disappearing into the dark waters just as the explosion tore the *Cornelia II* apart. Back in Manhattan, Nell MacDermott was finishing a contentious dinner with her grandfather, former Congressman Cornelius MacDermott, when Detective George Brennan arrived at her door. The news hit her like a physical blow: Adam was dead, along with three others, their bodies scattered across New York Harbor. But as she tried to process the devastating loss, Nell couldn't shake the memory of their final argument that morning—harsh words about her political ambitions that now could never be taken back. The official investigation began immediately, with Detectives Brennan and Jack Sclafani combing through the wreckage for clues. Initial reports suggested a fuel explosion, but the complete destruction of the boat raised immediate suspicions. As bodies were recovered and identified, one disturbing detail emerged: while Jimmy Ryan's remains were found, two of the passengers—Adam Cauliff and Winifred Johnson—seemed to have vanished entirely, leaving behind only questions and the growing certainty that someone had wanted these people dead.

Chapter 2: Suspicious Threads: Unraveling a Web of Lies

Lisa Ryan clutched her children close as the detectives delivered the news about her husband Jimmy. The soft-spoken widow insisted her husband could never have caused the explosion, despite his recent depression and mysterious behavior. But when she discovered fifty thousand dollars hidden in Jimmy's basement workshop—money wrapped in brown paper and twine, money he'd never spent—Lisa realized her husband had been keeping deadly secrets. The investigation quickly revealed a broader pattern of corruption. Adam Cauliff's former employers, Walters and Arsdale, were under investigation for bid-rigging and accepting bribes from contractors. Winifred Johnson, the mousy assistant everyone had underestimated, appeared to be the conduit for millions in illegal payments. Her apartment revealed an obsession with someone named "Harry Reynolds"—a name scrawled on countless scraps of paper like a lovesick teenager's fantasy. Nell found herself caught between grief and growing suspicion as detectives questioned Adam's integrity. Her grandfather Mac, ever the political strategist, worried that her husband's potential involvement in the scandal would destroy her congressional ambitions. The façade of a perfect marriage began to crumble as evidence mounted: Adam had borrowed money from Nell to buy property adjacent to the historic Vandermeer mansion, property that would become incredibly valuable if the landmark building were destroyed. Detective Sclafani's investigation took a dark turn when he learned about the fire that had consumed the Vandermeer mansion months earlier. A homeless woman named Quinny had died in the blaze, supposedly after accidentally starting it while seeking shelter. But the timing was too convenient—the fire occurred the same night Jimmy Ryan received a mysterious phone call about "canceling the job," and it cleared the way for Adam's real estate scheme to proceed.

Chapter 3: The Medium's Message: Voices from Beyond

Bonnie Wilson sat in her dimly lit apartment, her pale hands folded as she delivered what seemed like messages from the dead. The striking psychic had contacted Nell's aunt Gert with an impossible claim: Adam Cauliff was trying to communicate from beyond the grave. Desperate for closure after their final quarrel, Nell reluctantly agreed to a séance, hoping to find peace with her husband's spirit. The session seemed genuine at first. Bonnie described intimate details of Nell's relationship with Adam, including their final argument and his desire for forgiveness. She urged Nell to give away Adam's clothes to help his soul achieve peace, and delivered warnings about Peter Lang that seemed to come from Adam himself. But something felt wrong about the messages, too convenient and rehearsed, as if someone living was pulling the strings. Dr. Dan Minor, a pediatric surgeon searching for his own missing mother, found himself drawn into Nell's orbit during chance encounters in Central Park. His mother Quinny had vanished when he was six years old, consumed by guilt over an accident that had nearly killed him. Through Congressman MacDermott's connections, Dan learned the devastating truth: Quinny had died in the Vandermeer mansion fire, but she hadn't started it. His mother's pathological fear of fire made her an unlikely arsonist. As psychic phenomena swirled around the investigation, more disturbing evidence emerged. Eight-year-old Ben Tucker's drawings revealed details about the boat explosion that had never been released to the public—including his sighting of someone carrying a woman's purse as they escaped the blast. The pocketbook in question belonged to Winifred Johnson, and it contained a safe-deposit box key that would unlock the truth about the conspiracy.

Chapter 4: Hidden Keys: Unlocking Dangerous Secrets

Nell's discovery of a second safe-deposit box key hidden in Adam's jacket sent her on a dangerous quest for answers. The key led to a bank near the nursing home where Winifred's arthritic mother lived, lonely and bitter about her daughter's death. Mrs. Johnson revealed that Winifred had visited her the evening before the explosion, upset about missing the bank's closing time—a detail that suggested the mousy assistant had been planning something significant. The safe-deposit box registered to "Harry and Rhoda Reynolds" contained fake passports, multiple identities, and hundreds of thousands in cash and bearer bonds. The photographs on the documents revealed the shocking truth: Harry Reynolds was Adam Cauliff, and he had been conducting a secret affair and business partnership with Winifred Johnson for months, possibly years. Their plan to fake their deaths and escape with stolen money was methodically planned and ruthlessly executed. Lisa Ryan's courage in coming forward with the bribe money provided the crucial link between Jimmy's murder and the conspiracy. The brown wrapping paper and twine used to package the payoff matched materials found in Winifred's office files, proving she had orchestrated the payments. Jimmy had been paid to burn down the Vandermeer mansion and frame a homeless woman for the crime, but his conscience wouldn't let him spend the blood money. Detective Brennan's investigation revealed Adam's true nature through records from North Dakota. The charming architect was actually a sociopathic con man with a history of theft, fraud, and suspected murder. He had used his marriage to Nell as cover for increasingly bold criminal enterprises, but her decision to run for Congress would have subjected him to media scrutiny that would expose his carefully constructed lies. Murder had become his only escape route.

Chapter 5: The Betrayal Revealed: A Husband's Deadly Deception

The pieces of the conspiracy fell into place with chilling clarity. Adam Cauliff had orchestrated the boat explosion to eliminate everyone who could implicate him in years of construction fraud and bribery. Jimmy Ryan, tormented by guilt over the mansion fire and the homeless woman's death, was planning to confess. Sam Krause knew too much about the bid-rigging schemes. Even Peter Lang, the real estate developer, had become a liability after rejecting Adam's architectural designs. But the plan had gone horribly wrong when Nell gave Winifred the wrong jacket on the morning of the explosion. The safe-deposit box key that should have been in Adam's possession remained hidden in the jacket at home, leaving the fleeing couple unable to access their escape funds. Adam had barely survived the blast himself, suffering severe burns as he swam to safety while his conspirators died in the inferno he had created. Winifred Johnson, the forgotten woman whose swimming medals still decorated her dingy apartment walls, had found deadly love with a man who saw her only as a useful tool. Her obsession with "Harry Reynolds" had driven her to embezzle millions and orchestrate multiple murders, believing she was securing a romantic future that existed only in her desperate imagination. But Adam's coldness toward her was becoming apparent even before the explosion. Bonnie Wilson's psychic sessions were revealed as elaborate deceptions designed to help the fugitive couple retrieve the missing key. The supposed medium had met Adam at one of Gert's parties years earlier, and her "channeling" sessions were actually coaching sessions with a very much alive murderer. Her genuine psychic abilities had been corrupted by greed and manipulation, turning her gifts into instruments of death.

Chapter 6: From the Flames: Survival and Second Chances

The final confrontation came as storm clouds gathered over Manhattan. Nell's investigation had led her straight into Adam's trap, as the burned and bandaged killer waited in Bonnie Wilson's apartment with plans for one final murder. The psychic, her conscience finally awakening to the horror she had enabled, tried desperately to protect Nell from the monster she had helped create. Adam's rage exploded as he realized his years of planning had been destroyed by a simple mistake—the wrong jacket, the missing key, the wife who wouldn't stay in her place. As flames consumed Bonnie's apartment, he revealed the depth of his contempt for Nell and everyone he had manipulated. His charming mask finally slipped completely, revealing the sociopathic killer beneath. The fire escape collapsed in a twisted pile of metal as Dan Minor and the detectives raced to save Nell from the inferno. Adam Cauliff and Bonnie Wilson fell to their deaths on the street below, their bodies crushed beneath the weight of their own deceptions. But Nell survived, pulled from the flames by the man who had come to love her for who she truly was, not for what she could provide. Detective work by Sclafani and Brennan had finally cleared the names of the innocent victims. Dan's mother Quinny was vindicated as the homeless woman who had died through no fault of her own. Jimmy Ryan's reputation was quietly protected, his family spared the full knowledge of his role in the conspiracy. The system of corruption that had claimed so many lives was exposed and dismantled.

Chapter 7: Political Rebirth: Reclaiming a Destined Path

Election night brought vindication for Nell MacDermott as New York voters chose her to represent them in Congress. The Roosevelt Hotel ballroom erupted in celebration as "Wait Till the Sun Shines, Nellie" played, the same song that had marked the beginning of her grandfather's political career decades earlier. Mac beamed with pride as his protégé claimed the seat he had held for fifty years. Lisa Ryan stood among the cheering crowd, her work on Nell's campaign having given her purpose beyond grief. The young widow had found strength in helping clear her husband's name while supporting a woman who understood loss. Her children, safely returned from their summer at the shore, were building new lives with their mother's courage as their foundation. Dan Minor watched from the wings as the woman he loved stepped into her destiny. His search for his mother had ended in sorrow, but it had brought him to Nell when she needed saving most. The pediatric surgeon who specialized in healing burn victims had pulled his future wife from literal flames, and together they would build something beautiful from the ashes of tragedy. The investigation had revealed corruption that reached into the highest levels of New York's construction industry, but it had also shown the power of ordinary people to demand justice. From eight-year-old Ben Tucker's courage in sharing his nightmares to homeless Karen Renfrew's insistence that her belongings had been stolen, truth had emerged from the most unlikely sources.

Summary

In the end, Nell MacDermott discovered that her marriage to Adam Cauliff had been built on lies as elaborate as any construction project he had ever designed. The charming architect who had swept her off her feet was revealed as a calculating killer who saw murder as just another business problem to be solved. But from the ashes of that deception, she emerged stronger and more determined than ever to serve the public trust that her husband had so thoroughly betrayed. The explosion that was meant to be Adam's perfect escape became instead his final miscalculation. His underestimation of the people he thought he could manipulate—his wife's intelligence, his assistant's conscience, a child's eyesight, a homeless woman's memory—ultimately brought justice to the victims of his greed. The sun that shines on Congressman Nell MacDermott's future burns brighter for having been tempered in the fire of truth, and those she serves will benefit from the hard-won wisdom of a woman who has stared into the heart of evil and refused to let it win.

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Review Summary

Strengths: The book is noted for its suspenseful and action-packed nature, living up to Mary Higgins Clark's reputation as the "Queen of Suspense." It includes a paranormal element that some readers found refreshing and engaging. The story is described as a fun, quick read with a clean suspenseful narrative. Weaknesses: Several readers found the plot unrealistic and the character development lacking, particularly criticizing the love story as rushed and unconvincing. The mystery element was considered faint and the overall execution less than the sum of its parts. Some readers found the book boring and slow, with excessive fluff. Overall: The general sentiment is mixed, with some readers appreciating the suspense and unique elements, while others were disappointed by the plot and character development. The book may appeal to fans of Mary Higgins Clark but might not meet the expectations of those seeking a more robust mystery.

About Author

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Mary Higgins Clark

Clark reframes the suspense genre by integrating themes of family and resilience into her novels. Her purpose was to craft intricate narratives that often feature strong female protagonists navigating extraordinary situations. These elements are evident in her early breakthrough book "Where Are the Children?", which set the stage for her prolific career in suspense fiction. By emphasizing psychological tension and fast-paced plots, she has become a key figure for readers who appreciate complex characters and gripping storylines.\n\nMary Higgins Clark's books not only captivate with their suspense but also resonate on a personal level due to their exploration of universal themes like justice and the human spirit. Her ability to connect readers to these deeper themes makes her work particularly appealing to those who value both entertainment and thought-provoking narratives. Her collaborations, including those with her daughter Carol Higgins Clark, further showcase her versatility and commitment to storytelling. The ongoing popularity of her work, with over 100 million copies sold in the United States, highlights her impact on both national and international audiences.\n\nIn recognition of her contributions, Clark received numerous accolades, such as the Grand Master of the Edgar Awards and the Ellis Island Medal of Honor. These honors underline her status as an influential figure in literature. Her legacy continues to inspire both readers and aspiring authors, cementing her position as the "Queen of Suspense" whose books continue to be beloved around the world.

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