How to be F*cking Awesome

How to be F*cking Awesome Plot Summary

Introduction

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to effortlessly create amazing lives while others remain stuck in endless cycles of frustration? The difference isn't luck or innate talent—it's about embracing specific mindsets and behaviors that unleash your potential. We all have moments when we question if we're capable of achieving our dreams, if we're worthy of success, or if we're just fooling ourselves. This journey is about discovering how to be selfish in the right ways, how to harness your unique weirdness as a superpower, and how to persist when everyone else quits. The principles shared here aren't just theories—they're battle-tested approaches from those who've transformed their lives from mediocre to magnificent. Whether you're starting a business, improving relationships, or simply wanting more fulfillment, these insights will help you break through the barriers holding you back and embrace your inner awesome.

Chapter 1: Prioritize Self to Serve Others

Putting yourself first isn't selfish—it's essential. Think of it like the oxygen mask principle on airplanes: secure your own before helping others. Unless you're functioning at your best, you simply can't offer your best to those around you. Dan shares how he worked himself to exhaustion—120-hour weeks—trying to provide for his sister Anna, who was born with epilepsy and suffered brain damage from a severe seizure as a child. His intentions were noble, but his approach was unsustainable. He reached a six-figure income in three different industries, but repeatedly burned out and had to start over because he neglected his own well-being. It wasn't until age thirty-three that Dan gave himself permission to create a business and life that served him first. The transformation was remarkable. By prioritizing his health, removing toxic relationships, and claiming time for himself, Dan built an empire that ultimately served his original goals better than his self-sacrificing approach ever could. When he stopped neglecting himself, his capacity to help others expanded exponentially. His businesses thrived, his bank balance grew, and his impact widened. To implement this principle, start by taking complete ownership of your health—physical, mental, and emotional. Schedule non-negotiable blocks for exercise, proper nutrition, and mental health care. Remove people and environments that drain your energy. Be ruthlessly honest about what "being awesome" means to you personally, not what others expect. Remember to reward yourself for achievements, both big and small. If you've worked hard for something, you deserve to celebrate it. Dan finally bought the Rolex Submariner he'd dreamed of since his father showed him one when he was fourteen—not from vanity, but as recognition of his journey. The most powerful shift happens when you understand that caring for yourself isn't indulgent—it's strategic. By becoming the strongest, healthiest, most capable version of yourself, you create the foundation for everything else you want to achieve and everyone else you want to help.

Chapter 2: Embrace Shamelessness with Confidence

Shamelessness isn't about being obnoxious or inconsiderate—it's about freeing yourself from the paralyzing fear of what others might think. This liberating mindset allows you to take chances, seize opportunities, and live authentically without the constant worry of judgment or embarrassment. Dan recalls how pride and ego repeatedly held him back from growth. He was too shy to introduce himself to new people, too proud to ask for help, and too concerned with appearances to put himself out there. The turning point came when he realized the worst consequence of taking a risk was usually just looking "like a bit of a knob"—a small price to pay for potential success. When he finally adopted the "fuck it, let's do it" mindset, doors began opening everywhere. This shameless approach led Dan to secure million-pound contracts, write copy for top names in fitness and marketing, fund his own fitness business, and build a global client base. None of this would have happened if he'd remained constrained by fear of judgment. Even in his darkest moments—like when he found himself in London with just £22 to his name and had to take a job at a strip club—his willingness to do whatever it took (including a particularly memorable incident he calls "Shitgate" involving an overflowing toilet) demonstrated the power of shamelessness. To cultivate this mindset, start by examining what's holding you back. What opportunities are you avoiding out of fear? What projects remain incomplete because you're worried about criticism? Challenge yourself to take one shameless action each week—reach out to someone you admire, share your work publicly, or pitch your idea to a potential partner. Remember that asking for help isn't weakness—it's intelligence. When you admit you need assistance, you're actually giving others the gift of feeling valuable. People enjoy helping; denying them that opportunity is the truly selfish act. The path to greatness often requires doing things others won't. Embrace the grunt work, the thankless jobs, and the difficult challenges. Like Dan working for free with marketing expert Ryan Levesque—handling customer service calls from 8pm until 3-4am before returning to his gym job at 6:30am—sometimes the most shameless investments yield the greatest returns.

Chapter 3: Leverage Your Unique Weirdness

Your quirks, eccentricities, and unusual perspectives aren't flaws to hide—they're distinctive assets that set you apart in a world crowded with conformity. The traits you might consider strange or unconventional are often precisely what make you memorable and valuable. Dan spent years trying to project a polished, conventional image of success—the "successful, sporty, badass tough guy." Behind this facade, he was actually quite geeky, enjoying solitary activities like reading, visiting aquariums while listening to classical music, and painting miniature models. The exhausting effort to maintain this false identity left him disconnected from himself, unsure of who he really was beneath the performance. The transformation began when Dan gradually allowed his authentic self to emerge in his content and interactions. He worried that no one would be interested in the real him—"a bit of a dork"—but discovered the opposite. As he embraced his true personality, his audience grew exponentially. People connected with his honesty and related to his struggles. The more authentically Dan presented himself, the more his influence expanded and the more money flowed into his bank account. To harness your unique weirdness, start by identifying your natural strengths and weaknesses through assessments like Kolbe, Myers-Briggs, or DISC. Use these insights to leverage your distinctive talents and partner with people whose strengths complement your weaknesses. If you're quiet and organized, team up with someone outgoing and creative. If you're visionary but scattered, collaborate with a detail-oriented implementer. Recognize that entrepreneurs are inherently weird—we've rejected conventional life paths to forge our own way. This fundamental choice already sets us apart. Your "mess" becomes your message, as Dan's friend wisely observed. The very experiences you might feel embarrassed about are what create authentic connections with others. Dan's willingness to be himself culminated in a presentation where he wore a Mexican wrestling mask and drank vodka from a crystal skull—not for attention but simply as an expression of his authentic self. Rather than damaging his credibility, this unfiltered approach made him one of the most memorable and sought-after speakers at the event. Remember, when you're being genuinely you, you become irreplaceable. There's no competition for being yourself because no one else can do it. Your uniqueness isn't something to overcome—it's your greatest competitive advantage.

Chapter 4: Face Brutal Truths, Create Value

Brutal honesty—especially with yourself—is the foundation of genuine growth and achievement. Without clear-eyed self-assessment, you'll remain trapped in comforting illusions that prevent meaningful progress. Dan invites readers to conduct a stark self-evaluation: your bank balance reflects your financial success; your physical appearance reveals how you care for your health; your relationships demonstrate your emotional investments. This exercise isn't meant to shame but to establish an accurate baseline. As Dan notes, "How can you expect to achieve anything if you have no idea where you are starting?" For years, he deluded himself about his situation, which only delayed his transformation. To underscore the urgency of facing reality, Dan shares a powerful visualization exercise: On squared paper, mark off 82 squares (representing the average British life expectancy). Color in squares equal to your current age. The uncolored squares represent your remaining time. Subtract another 17 squares for retirement years when energy diminishes. This stark visual representation reveals how little time we actually have to make our mark. Dan had just 30 squares left—30 years to create meaning and impact. This realization was transformative. After years of paralyzing fear about death, Dan finally accepted its inevitability and found this acknowledgment strangely liberating. "When I finally thought, fuck it, and accepted that I have just one roll of the dice, I realized I had better make it count. And finally I started to experience the success I had always wanted." To create genuine value, Dan rejects the common advice to "follow your passion." Instead, he offers a simple four-step business approach: Find a group experiencing pain (physical, financial, or emotional), interact deeply to understand their specific needs, develop a solution that addresses those needs, and sell it to them. For implementation, start with an anonymous feedback survey from friends, colleagues, and family asking what they really think of you and how you could improve. While brutally painful, this reveals blind spots you can't see yourself—what Dan calls "unconscious incompetence." Next, commit to changing one aspect of your life or business based on this feedback. Remember that you need no one's permission to begin. Most people wait for validation or approval that never comes. The brutal truth is that life is short, opportunities are fleeting, and the only person who can authorize your dreams is you. As Dan bluntly puts it: "Just fucking do it!"

Chapter 5: Build Meaningful Connections that Last

Meaningful connections are the social currency that accelerates success and creates resilience through life's inevitable challenges. These relationships aren't just pleasant additions to your journey—they're essential multipliers of your impact and capability. Dan discovered that normal people around him couldn't understand his entrepreneurial journey or challenges. As his ambitions grew, he realized he needed to deliberately cultivate relationships with likeminded individuals. The transformation began when he surrounded himself with driven, ambitious peers through Facebook groups, masterminds, events, and strategic relationships with coaches and mentors. This shift wasn't without pain. Dan warns that as you evolve, you'll naturally outgrow some friendships. Some people may even resent your ambition because it highlights their own complacency. "It hurts—really it does—and I hope it doesn't happen to you. But I need you to be ready for it, 'cause it can cripple you if they had been really close friends," he explains. While this loss is difficult, the connections you gain with fellow strivers more than compensate. To build your own powerful network, start where you are. Join Facebook groups and forums aligned with your interests, but don't lurk—actively contribute value before asking for anything in return. Attend in-person events and seminars (paid ones tend to attract more serious participants). Rather than networking with peers, Dan recommends "fishing where the fish are"—attending events your potential clients attend. This strategy landed him significant business without aggressive pitching. Invest in relationships with both coaches and mentors. As Dan distinguishes: "Coaches are extremely useful for up-levelling a skill, helping you get through a particular period in your growth, or providing a sounding board." Mentors, by contrast, maintain "a 30,000ft view of you, your business, your life and your overall growth as a person." If finances are tight, offer value exchanges—help with tasks they need or propose revenue-sharing arrangements. Remember Dan's powerful realization about approaching successful people: "Everyone sits down to take a shit." No matter how accomplished someone appears, they're still human. Approach potential connections with respect but without intimidation. And adopt Dan's "pay to play" philosophy—be willing to invest in relationships with those ahead of you on the path. This demonstrates you value their time and expertise. The network you build becomes your safety net, your opportunity generator, and your personal board of advisors. As Dan emphatically states: "No one, and I mean no one, makes it on their own."

Chapter 6: Master Productivity through Systems

Productivity isn't about being perpetually busy—it's about creating systems that consistently generate meaningful results. The difference between success and perpetual struggle often comes down to how effectively you structure your time and energy. Dan's productivity journey began with a hungover Tuesday morning realization that despite decent success, he could achieve so much more with better structure and discipline. Unable to hold himself accountable, he created an accountability group called "Coffee With Dan," expecting perhaps 15-20 participants. Within a year, membership exploded to over 4,000 people, with 700+ more waiting to join. This experience taught Dan the power of surrounding himself with others committed to "getting shit done." The foundation of Dan's productivity system is counterintuitive but transformative: he schedules his personal priorities first, before any work commitments. He blocks time for fitness, personal development, family, and even "nothing time"—an hour daily for whatever he feels like doing. Only after these non-negotiable blocks are set does he schedule work tasks, coaching calls, and meetings. This approach ensures that life's most important elements aren't sacrificed to endless work demands. For daily task management, Dan's "Sunday Brain Dump and 3-5 System" provides clarity and focus. Every Sunday, he writes down everything he needs to do, then ranks each item: "1" for business-critical tasks that make money or have deadlines; "2" for important but not time-sensitive matters; "3" for non-critical tasks that could be delegated. He then schedules no fewer than three and no more than five priority tasks each day, ensuring his focus remains on what truly moves the needle. Dan organizes his week thematically—Monday for planning, Tuesday for coaching, Wednesday for meetings, and so on—to avoid the productivity loss of context-switching. He also schedules a daily "dentist appointment"—a one-hour block dedicated solely to new business development, regardless of how busy he feels with existing clients. For intensive focus, Dan recommends his "Train Ride to Nowhere" technique—booking a round-trip journey to a destination two hours away, working intensely during both legs of the journey, and enjoying lunch or shopping at the destination. This creates a distraction-free environment that yields "more than a day's work in four hours." To implement these systems, start with a "blast and cruise" approach—ninety days of intense focus on key priorities, followed by ninety days of maintenance and refinement. Protect your morning routine by avoiding email and social media until mid-morning, and end each day by turning off notifications and keeping your phone outside your bedroom. Remember Dan's core philosophy: "Being busy is not the same as being productive." Real productivity isn't about motion—it's about impact.

Chapter 7: Persist When Others Quit

Persistence isn't just about working hard—it's about maintaining unwavering commitment when obstacles, setbacks, and temptations to quit appear. This resilience separates those who achieve extraordinary results from those who settle for ordinary lives. Dan doesn't sugarcoat the entrepreneurial journey: "If you think that becoming successful is a piece of pie, you are deluded, my friend. It takes balls/ovaries. Because it includes failure, pain, hard work and fucking relentlessness." Most people fail because they lack the discipline to persist through difficulties, expecting overnight success instead of embracing the unsexy reality of consistent effort. One of Dan's defining moments came when offered a life-changing opportunity that required a $1,000 investment—money he simply didn't have. With only $30 to his name and maxed-out credit cards, conventional wisdom would say decline. Instead, Dan took what he calls his legendary "AMEX gamble"—charging the amount with no clear plan for repayment, simply trusting he'd make it work. This calculated risk connected him with Ryan Levesque, who became a mentor and opened doors to invaluable relationships and opportunities. Dan emphasizes that persistence means "showing up every day" regardless of mood or circumstances. "Rain or shine. Happy as a clam or hating all of the peoples. Every day—for my clients, in 'Coffee With Dan', my team—I show up," he explains. This consistency, like the tortoise beating the hare, ultimately produces extraordinary results. Dan points to successful bands who spent years playing to empty rooms and YouTube millionaires who posted content consistently for years before breaking through. To cultivate persistence, Dan recommends being "pleasantly annoying" when pursuing opportunities. He shares how, as a headhunter, he called a resistant company every Tuesday at 11am for months. Though initially rejected, his polite persistence eventually led to a breakthrough when they needed to fill a difficult position. Dan sent one perfect candidate, secured the placement, and became their exclusive recruiter, earning substantial commissions. When pursuing connections, use varied approaches. Create a comprehensive list of every possible communication method for reaching your target—email, phone, social media, postal mail, events—and systematically try one each week until you find what works. Most people are too impatient to implement this methodical approach. Perhaps most importantly, learn to detach emotionally from outcomes. Whether pitching an idea or asking someone on a date, don't let your happiness depend on the result. This detachment not only reduces stress but counterintuitively improves your success rate, as people are naturally drawn to those who aren't desperately seeking approval. Dan's formula is deceptively simple: "Time invested + effort expended + disciplined behaviors = success (eventually)." The question is whether you have the relentlessness to persist when others quit.

Summary

The journey to unleashing your potential isn't about complex strategies or secret formulas—it's about embracing fundamental principles that transform how you approach life. From prioritizing your wellbeing so you can better serve others, to leveraging your unique weirdness as a competitive advantage, to building systems that make productivity inevitable rather than optional, these concepts provide a roadmap for authentic success. As Dan powerfully reminds us: "Fuck the bullshit excuses that you give yourself. Fuck the nonsense stories that you tell yourself over and over again. Fuck the critics, the people who tell you it will never work or those who don't believe in you or your vision." Your journey starts with a decision—a commitment to be awesome despite fears, doubts, and obstacles. Take one principle from this book today and implement it immediately. Whether it's scheduling self-care as a non-negotiable priority, reaching out to someone you admire without shame, or setting up your week with the 3-5 system, that single action step will create momentum. The difference between dreaming about change and creating it is simple: those who succeed are doing while others are merely thinking about doing.

About Author

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Dan Meredith

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