Kendra navigates the shadows of her past, haunted by fragmented memories of a traumatic childhood. The identity of her abuser remains a haunting enigma, and her every move feels scrutinized by unseen eyes, leaving ominous signs only she can decipher. With vigilance as her constant companion, she fears that a momentary lapse could prove fatal. In her quest for relief, Kendra turns to the cathartic release of cutting and pours her soul into vivid artistic expression. While her mother remains oblivious to her silent cries, Kendra finds solace in unexpected allies: a compassionate therapist, a nurturing art teacher, and Sandy, a supportive family friend who champions her creativity. As her bond with Meghan, a fellow student, deepens into something more profound, the buried truths of Kendra's ordeal threaten to surface with explosive repercussions. Scars presents a gripping narrative of one girl's harrowing journey to uncover the truth and reclaim her life.

Categories

Psychology, Fiction, Mental Health, Young Adult, Mental Illness, Abuse, Contemporary, LGBT, Realistic Fiction, Teen

Content Type

Book

Binding

Hardcover

Year

2010

Publisher

Westside Books

Language

English

ASIN

193481332X

ISBN

193481332X

ISBN13

9781934813324

File Download

PDF | EPUB

Scars Plot Summary

Introduction

Fifteen-year-old Kendra Marshall sits in her therapist's office, her long sleeves carefully concealing the fresh wounds beneath white bandages. The fluorescent lights flicker overhead as she tells Carolyn about the footsteps—heavy, deliberate footsteps that follow her through empty streets, stopping when she stops, starting when she starts. But when she turns around, no one is there. Just shadows and the persistent feeling of being watched by someone who knows her deepest, most buried secrets. The cutting blade feels warm against her leg, hidden in her sock like a secret promise of relief. Six months ago, when the memories began surfacing like oil slicks on dark water, Kendra discovered that physical pain could silence the screaming in her mind. Each precise slash across her arm drowns out the phantom voices, the phantom hands, the face she cannot—will not—remember. But now someone is sending her messages. Cryptic notes appear in her backpack. An MP3 player materializes with a computerized voice whispering threats. Someone knows she's starting to remember, and they want her silent. Forever.

Chapter 1: Hidden Wounds: Kendra's Battle with Memories and Self-Harm

The utility knife blade catches the afternoon light as Kendra presses it against her forearm. Blood wells up in thin red lines, and suddenly she can breathe again. The panic that gripped her throat releases its hold. The shadows in her mind retreat, at least temporarily. She's gotten good at hiding the evidence. Fresh bandages, long sleeves, careful movements to avoid jarring the wounds. Her parents suspect nothing. Her classmates see only the quiet artist who keeps to herself, sketching in the margins of her notebooks with mechanical precision. But the memories are getting stronger. Flash images pierce through her consciousness like lightning strikes. A door snapping shut. Large hands gripping her wrists. A voice hissing threats against her ear. The details remain frustratingly vague, faces obscured in shadow, but the terror feels fresh and immediate. In Carolyn's office, surrounded by green ferns and the scent of peppermint tea, Kendra finds her only safe harbor. The therapist's wedding ring catches the light as she leans forward, her voice gentle but persistent. She believes Kendra's stories about being followed, about the strange notes appearing in her backpack. Most adults would dismiss such claims as teenage paranoia, but Carolyn has seen enough survivors to recognize the patterns. The art room becomes Kendra's second sanctuary. Mrs. Archer never judges the dark, intense paintings that flow from Kendra's brush—girls with sewn-shut mouths, children climbing up razor blades, figures consumed by shadows with reaching hands. The teacher recognizes raw talent when she sees it, the kind that comes from places too deep and painful for most people to access. At home, tension crackles between Kendra and her mother like electricity before a storm. Her mother wants to return to their old painting sessions, to critique and improve Kendra's technique. But Kendra guards her art fiercely now. It's become her voice, her confession, her way of bleeding truth onto canvas without speaking the words that might get her killed.

Chapter 2: Finding Connection: New Allies in Therapist Carolyn and Classmate Meghan

The fire alarm's shriek cuts through second period like a blade. Students rush toward the exits as thick black smoke pours from Danny's locker, flames licking toward the ceiling. Kendra watches from the crowd as Meghan Ellis leans against the wall, casually chewing gum while chaos erupts around her. There's something magnetic about the way Meghan carries herself—leather skirt, blue streak in her honey-colored hair, silver rings catching the light. She looks like she could take on the world and win. Later, when Danny corners Kendra in the hallway, it's Meghan who steps between them. The girl fights like she has nothing to lose, all sharp elbows and fearless attitude. When Danny's grip threatens to snap Meghan's arm, Kendra finds unexpected courage and pulls the fire alarm, drowning the confrontation in bells and rushing bodies. The connection forms quickly after that. They sit together on the hill behind school, sharing terrible lunches and tentative trust. Meghan's stories emerge in fragments—a mother who drinks herself unconscious, bruises that bloom yellow-purple on her neck, a girl using sex as armor against intimacy. Kendra recognizes the same hollow ache she carries, the same careful distance from anything that might matter. Art therapy throws them together again. The community center room smells like disappointment and cheap tempera paint. Mrs. Archer sits beside the therapist, notebook in hand, watching as students wrestle their demons onto manila paper. Julie, the therapist, pushes too hard too fast. When she corners Meghan about the pain in her crude painting—a girl with a stamped-on smile and bruises for tattoos—the walls close in. Kendra's protective instincts flare. She recognizes the trapped-animal look in Meghan's eyes, the way her breathing goes shallow and desperate. Without thinking, Kendra explodes from her chair, screaming at Julie to leave Meghan alone. The outburst draws every eye in the room, but it shatters the terrible pressure building around Meghan. In the bathroom afterward, shadows crash through Kendra's mind like a freight train. She slashes her arm with desperate efficiency, blood spattering the sink until the memories retreat. When Meghan finds her, there's no judgment in those green eyes. Only understanding, and a hand offered without conditions.

Chapter 3: Shadows Closing In: Threatening Messages and Stalking Intensify

The package arrives through a boy on a skateboard, twenty dollars in his pocket and instructions to find Kendra Marshall. Inside the narrow box, nestled in blood-red tissue paper, lies a white handkerchief and a sharpened palette knife. The sight triggers something primal and terrifying. Kendra's vision blurs as fragments of memory assault her consciousness. She runs to the Java Cup's bathroom and cuts deeper than she ever has before, the blade moving with frantic desperation. Blood pools in the sink as her panic slowly drains away. But this time is different. The cutting feels automatic, compulsive, like following a set of instructions burned into her muscle memory. When the memories finally surface fully, they arrive with devastating clarity. She's six years old, standing on cold bathroom tiles while a man forces her fingers around a utility knife. His voice echoes through the years: "You will cut to keep silent. You will cut to forget. And if you tell, you will cut to kill yourself." The realization hits like a physical blow. Her cutting isn't just self-medication—it's programming. Conditioning designed to keep her quiet, to make her complicit in her own silence. Every time she raises the blade, she's following orders given by the man who hurt her, orders reinforced through repetition until they became as natural as breathing. Meghan finds her in the bathroom, takes one look at the carnage, and doesn't flinch. Instead, she makes a trip to the drugstore for proper bandages and gauze. Her hands are gentle as she cleans the wounds, wrapping Kendra's arm with the careful attention of someone who understands pain intimately. Outside the coffee shop, a drunk man leers at them, making crude comments about their relationship. But Meghan's fierce protectiveness and Kendra's growing strength create a shield around them. They're not victims anymore—they're survivors who've found each other. At home, the lies multiply like cancer. Kendra's mother discovers her secret art show at the Java Cup, feels betrayed by yet another hidden truth. Her father grows increasingly agitated, his questions more pointed and dangerous. The facade of normal family life cracks wider each day, revealing the rot beneath.

Chapter 4: The Devastating Recognition: Father as Abuser

The car ride home from Carolyn's office feels like a descent into hell. Dad grips the steering wheel so tight his knuckles threaten to split through the skin. His questions come faster, more aggressive. Why won't Kendra remember her abuser's face? Is she protecting someone? Has she been lying all along? When he reaches down to scratch his leg, exposing the dark hair that glitters against pale skin, the final piece clicks into place with devastating clarity. Those hands. Those blunt fingernails. That voice she's been trying so hard not to recognize. The fragments of memory slam together like colliding galaxies, and suddenly Kendra knows with horrible certainty who has been haunting her dreams. The revelation threatens to shatter her completely. Her father—the man who taught her to paint, who called her kitten, who supposedly loved her—is the monster who destroyed her childhood. Every bedtime story, every goodnight kiss was tainted with the knowledge of what would happen after the lights went out. At home, the confrontation unfolds with the terrible inevitability of a Greek tragedy. Kendra tries to get her mother to leave with her, but Mom's denial runs too deep. She won't—can't—believe what her daughter is telling her. To accept the truth would mean acknowledging that she failed to protect her child, that she turned away when help was needed most. Dad's mask slips completely when he realizes Kendra remembers. The gun appears as if he's been planning this moment for years. Maybe he has. The weapon transforms their living room into a hostage situation, three family members trapped in a web of secrets and lies that finally demand resolution. Mom crumbles under the weight of truth, still protesting that she would have known, she would have stopped it. But her protests ring hollow in the space between them. She did know, on some level. She chose not to see because seeing would have required action, and action would have destroyed the comfortable fiction of their family life. The phone rings insistently from the kitchen until Dad shoots it silent. The outside world intrudes through police sirens and flashing lights. Carolyn's worried phone calls have brought help, but help feels very far away when you're pressed against your rapist father with a gun barrel kissing your temple.

Chapter 5: Confrontation and Crisis: Life-Threatening Standoff

The police surround the house like antibodies attacking infection. Red and blue lights pulse through the living room windows, casting everything in emergency colors. Dad drags Kendra to the window, using her body as a shield while he screams threats at the officers below. His arm presses against her windpipe, cutting off air, while the gun barrel stays pressed to her head like a cold kiss of death. The crowd gathers—reporters with cameras, neighbors drawn by sirens, strangers who treat human tragedy like entertainment. Kendra sees herself reflected in their hungry faces, a girl reduced to a spectacle, a victim whose pain feeds their need for drama. In the standoff's terrible intimacy, Dad's confessions pour out like pus from a infected wound. He tried to stop, he claims. He married Mom thinking adult love might cure his sickness. But when Kendra was born, small and helpless and perfect, the monster inside him proved stronger than his conscience. He talks about addiction, about compulsion, about forces beyond his control—anything except taking responsibility for his choices. The worst revelation comes last. He stopped raping Kendra three years ago, when she turned twelve and began to look more like a young woman than a child. But that was also when he started teaching Sunday school to kindergarteners. The guilt crashes over Kendra in waves. How many other children? How many small bodies broken while their parents sat upstairs, praying? When the phone rings again, Dad's attention splits for just a moment. Kendra seizes her chance, grabbing for the gun with desperate strength born of survival instinct. They struggle, the weapon wavering between them as Mom screams and the police wait for their moment. The gunshot feels like thunder in the small room. Pain explodes through Kendra's shoulder as the bullet tears through flesh and muscle. But she's alive, and Dad's grip finally loosens as the weight of what he's done crashes down on him. The front door bursts open and officers in tactical gear flood the room. They pull Kendra to safety while Dad raises his trembling hands in surrender, tears streaming down his face. Outside, ambulances wait with their doors open like mechanical angels ready to carry the wounded to safety.

Chapter 6: Beyond the Scars: Building a New Future with Chosen Family

The courthouse steps feel solid beneath Kendra's feet as she emerges from giving her testimony. Nine months have passed since that terrible afternoon, nine months of therapy and healing and learning to trust again. Dad sits in a cell awaiting trial, his confession recorded for posterity, his victims finally free to speak their truth. The scars on Kendra's arm have faded from angry red to pale silver, a roadmap of survival written in flesh. She no longer hides them automatically. Sometimes people stare, ask rude questions, make assumptions. But their ignorance feels small compared to the freedom of living without secrets. Meghan tends a garden in the backyard of Kendra's house, coaxing flowers from soil with the same gentle persistence Kendra uses on her art. They've found parallel paths to healing—one through creation, one through nurturing life. Their relationship grows slowly, carefully, built on foundation of shared understanding rather than desperate need. Mom struggles with her own therapy, her own reckoning with the truth she spent years avoiding. Their relationship may never be what Kendra once hoped for, but honesty has replaced the toxic politeness that once poisoned their interactions. Sometimes that's enough. Carolyn remains constant through all the changes, a lighthouse in the storm of recovery. Her office still smells of peppermint tea and safety. The revelation that she too is a survivor creates deeper trust rather than distance. Hope becomes tangible when you can see it thriving in someone else's life. The art flows differently now. Still dark, still honest, but no longer trapped in the endless cycle of self-harm and silence. Kendra paints healing alongside hurt, light piercing through shadows. Her work sells in galleries, speaks to others carrying similar wounds. Art becomes testimony, and testimony becomes power. At night, in the guest room that replaced her childhood bedroom, Kendra dreams of futures instead of past horrors. The cutting blade stays hidden in her sock, insurance against the worst days, but those days come less frequently. She's building something new from the wreckage of what was taken from her—not just survival, but joy.

Summary

Kendra's journey from victim to survivor illustrates the complex path of healing from childhood trauma. Her story reveals how abuse survivors often internalize their attacker's control, turning the violence inward through self-harm, while struggling to piece together fragmented memories that the mind has hidden for protection. Through the support of chosen family—Carolyn, Meghan, Sandy, Mrs. Archer—Kendra learns that healing requires both facing the truth and building new relationships based on authentic care rather than fear. The revelation that her father was both protector and predator represents the ultimate betrayal, yet also provides the clarity needed for recovery to begin. By testifying against him in court, Kendra transforms her voice from a weapon of self-destruction into an instrument of justice and protection for other potential victims. Her art evolves from desperate confession to purposeful testimony, proving that creativity can be both survival mechanism and path to transcendence. The scars remain, but they no longer define her—they simply mark the places where she chose to keep living despite the pain.

Best Quote

“Other times, I look at my scars and see something else: a girl who was trying to cope with something horrible that she should never have had to live through at all. My scars show pain and suffering, but they also show my will to survive. They're part of my history that'll always be there.” ― Cheryl Rainfield, Scars

Review Summary

Strengths: The review highlights the book's realistic portrayal of difficult subjects such as rape and self-harm, emphasizing the author's bravery in addressing these issues without glossing over the pain. The writing is described as easy to read, and the ending is appreciated for offering hope to survivors. Weaknesses: The review criticizes the book for its execution, noting significant plot holes and excessive drama that detract from the story's impact. The storyline's transitional aspects are described as mechanistic, which affects the overall enjoyment of the book. Overall: The reader acknowledges the book's intention and bravery in tackling tough subjects but feels the execution falls short. Despite its flaws, the book is recommended for its honest depiction of survival and hope.

About Author

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Cheryl Rainfield Avatar

Cheryl Rainfield

Rainfield considers the intersections of trauma and identity in their literary work, drawing heavily from their own experiences as a survivor of childhood abuse and cult rituals. This unique perspective allows them to delve deeply into themes of resilience and empowerment, particularly through the lens of young adult fiction. Their narratives often spotlight strong female and LGBTQ+ protagonists who navigate through and overcome adversities such as abuse, dissociation, and societal rejection. Through emotionally charged and suspenseful storytelling, Rainfield crafts tales that not only address difficult topics but also resonate deeply with readers seeking understanding and validation.\n\nIn the book "Scars," a narrative centered on a girl grappling with the aftermath of abuse, Rainfield’s personal experiences are reflected with a raw authenticity that has garnered significant recognition, including being named a Bank Street College Best Book of the Year. While "Hunted" explores paranormal themes within a cult setting, drawing directly from Rainfield’s life, "Stained" presents a suspenseful journey of survival and self-discovery. These stories are crafted with the intent to offer hope and a sense of empowerment, particularly for marginalized and traumatized youth, making their work a profound resource for readers who find solace and strength in narratives of healing and self-acceptance.\n\nBeyond their books, Rainfield’s work has earned critical acclaim from various literary publications for its empathetic engagement with readers. As a nonbinary lesbian author, their commitment to breaking the silence around abuse and advocating for representation is evident both in their writing and public engagements. Therefore, readers who connect with themes of trauma recovery and empowerment will find Rainfield’s narratives not only compelling but also transformative, offering both insight and hope through the struggles faced by their characters.

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